Rating: PG

Summary: Angel thinks about Darla. Set after Darla stakes herself so that Connor could live. Written from Angel's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters… If I did would I be here writing this?

A/N: Just a mini ficlet on what I think Darla means to Angel… Hope you like it! All feedback welcome. :)

Chapter 1- Sire

I know people have said she's a monster, a killer, a whore. But no one knew her like I did. No one. I mean… people thought they knew her but they didn't, not really.

To me, she was everything. I needed her and I think she needed me too. We were made for each other. Dru used to say it was written in the stars. It probably was.

I have never admitted it in public, I guess I just don't want to admit it to myself. But I know that I do. Deep down inside, I know that I always have. I can't deny that now. I guess I'm just scared. Scared of what my friends will think of me when they find out. Scared of what Buffy will think if she found out.

Buffy was the only thing that came close to what I felt for Darla. I loved Buffy, sure, but there was something missing. She didn't know me like Darla did.

I think about her every night. In my sleep and when I'm awake too. I can try as hard as I can, but she won't leave me. I dream about her every night, well most nights. I can still remember her face in my mind, as clear as if we'd only parted yesterday. But it's already been what, a few weeks? Years, I don't know. It feels like forever. Eternity. She sacrificed herself, that was, well, selfless. I've never seen her like that. I know she hasn't actually loved something like that with a soul. She might not even have loved me. But I don't care because what we made together was priceless. What we had together was priceless.

I will never forget her, it know it. And I'll make sure Connor knows her too.

God I miss her. But you know what I miss most? Her eyes. I love the way they light up. They're always so bright. I still remember how she beat me during those first few months. But after that… well, we were inseparable. She chose me over the Master. Well, she chose Angelus… but that doesn't matter. And I love it when we kiss. It was always so special. Just the two of us.

I love her. There, I said it. I was her and she was me. That wasn't so hard to admit. But still, I can't tell anyone. Can I? I don't know. Maybe they'll think I'm Angelus again. That would be… interesting.

I wish I had her back. I mean I know I can keep her under control, I think. But she'd do it for Connor won't she? She would abandon her childe. No. That's just not her. I'm sure she had her reasons for leaving me.

I wonder where she is right now. Heaven? Hell? She could be anywhere. Even a separate dimension all together. Where ever she is I hope she's happy.

Well, next time a beautiful blonde tells me to close my eyes I'll know. Look where that one night left me. An alley outside the inn. I still remember everything we ever did together.

I wish she could see Connor's little face when he smiles. He has her eyes. He'll always remind me of her.

"Angel? There's someone on the phone for you. She says it's urgent." Cordy peeked in Angel's room.

"She?"

"Yeah." Cordy frowned. "I don't know who it is."

"OK."

Angel got up heavily from his chair. He walked past Cordy and into the foyer. He picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Angel sighed.

"Hello precious."

Angel's eyes widened.

"Hello? Who is this." In his heart, Angel already knew who it was.

The line went dead at the other end.

"Hello?"

"Who was it?"

"No one. It was nothing."

A/N: Did you like it? Should I carry on? :)