TRIGGER WARNING - There are big mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. Also elements of abuse throughout the story. Please read with caution.

The rough fabric of Lucy's jacket pulled at the angry wounds but she didn't care. Her eyes stayed unwaveringly on Natsu. She held her arm out for him to see, furiously blinking away the tears that welled her eyes. She should have known. She had known Natsu only a few weeks and yet he still could read her so well it terrified her. She should have been more careful.

He must have seen her. He must have started towards her but stopped when he'd heard Levy and Laxus - He did have freakishly good hearing. At least she could be thankful he didn't blow her cover in front of the other two patients, she thought bitterly.

Natsu looked at the wounds with an expressionless face, his grip on Lucy's wrist tightened until it throbbed but it never weakened, even when she half-heartedly tried to break free from his hold. The broken glass that replaced her blood ground together and she grit her teeth. Lucy needed to cut so badly it hurt. She had to convince him that it was just a momentary lapse. That it was over, and he could leave…

Lucy knew the idea was hopeless the moment it entered her mind.

"Lucy," Natsu said in a dangerously low voice, drawing his other hand up to hover over the wounds before he dropped his hand back down. His grip remained firm. "Are you stupid?"

Lucy couldn't help but laugh. The sound was unpleasant and mean.

"No, Natsu, I'm crazy."

She jerked her arm away when her comment distracted him. She made a move to pull her sleeve back down, but Natsu held a hand out to stop her.

"No, don't. We need to clean it," he said as he made his way towards the door. Lucy followed incredulously.

"Clean it?" She repeated in a weary voice. Natsu rolled his eyes as he turned around before reaching the door, his jaw taut.

"Yeah. Trust me, infection sucks."

"I see, and you would know this how?" Lucy asked, her voice biting as he went to turn the doorknob.

At her words his hand on the handle froze and his shoulders stiffened. He offered the blonde no reply before yanking the door open and storming out, muttering a quiet: "Stay here," before slamming it shut again.

Lucy bit her lip when the feeling over being alone flooded over her, the familiar ache growing stronger in her wrist. Would Natsu check her other arm? He surely wouldn't check her thighs; She could cut there easily – She hesitated a moment longer. She didn't know how far away he was going to get what he needed to clean the wounds. It could take seconds.

Or it could take minutes.

Oh, a few minutes would be so perfect it made her sigh out loud. Unable to resist, the young woman sat down on the bed and pulled her skirt up to expose the top of her thigh. The skin was already deformed with scars, what would a couple more do? She took a deep breath before pressing her still red-stained thumb nail over the skin and pressed down. She relished in the feeling of the nail digging into her flesh and burying itself there.

Just as the feeling got blissful, she was ready to draw the nail horizontally to make the perfect cut. She took a deep breath before doing so, bracing herself again for the pain.

That was until she was tackled onto the bed.

Once her eyes stopped rattling in her skull, Lucy finally noticed the questionable weight pressing against her torso. She blinked open her eyes before they snapped open.

"What- Natsu!"

Natsu was splayed over her, his fists clenched over her wrists at either side of her head, keeping his weight from fully pressing on her. His face was inches away from hers and his sharp teeth were bared as he sneered.

"Seriously, Lucy? The moment I leave the room?" he asked in bewilderment, his eyes brewing with anger at her nerve. Lucy squirmed and Natsu snarled again, pink strands of hair dangling over his blazing eyes.

"You don't understand," Lucy cried, no longer bothering to mask her desperation. "I need it, Natsu. I can't cope without it."

"I don't understand?" he mocked her, pushing himself off her and stumbling back a few steps away from her. She sat up breathlessly on the bed to meet his eyes.

He ran a hand over his face and looked down on the blonde.

"Lucy," he began slowly, and very precisely. "I understand. Much more than you know. But you don't understand how dangerous cutting at a place like here is. I've seen it. You think the shit we deal with now is bad? There's this one girl, Mavis, who couldn't stop cutting. The staff couldn't control her, and they tried everything. Cut her nails, put her in a fucking padded room. She started to bite at her own skin and tear herself open-"

Natsu trailed off, watching approvingly as her eyes grew wider. This is what he wanted, she realised. He wanted to scare her.

And it was working.

"I haven't seen Mavis since." He finished, and Lucy blinked.

"How long ago was that?" She whispered and Natsu barked a laugh.

"I can't tell you that without telling you how long I've been here, and I don't think you want to know."

Lucy frowned and stood; She tilted her head as she tried to read his expression.

"I want to know how long it's been since that – that girl was locked up," She said honestly, though she secretly couldn't help but wonder how long he had been there also.

Natsu growled in annoyance and picked up the medical supplies he'd dropped when he tackled her and sat her back down onto the bed. He cleaned and dressed the wounds before clipping her nails, making Lucy grumble before finally returning to the previous conversation.

"If I tell you, will you promise to stop cutting here?" he checked, and Lucy bit her lip. Many people had made her promises they didn't keep and that hurt. She didn't want to be that person. So, reluctantly, Lucy clenched her fists and nodded.

"I promise." She muttered and Natsu nodded.

"The thing with Mavis…" he began, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "That was about two and half years ago."

Lucy's eyed widened. Not only had it been so long since that girl was ever seen again - yet she was still here somewhere - but Natsu had been here for more than two years.

"You've been in here for nearly three years?" Lucy asked in disbelief. Natsu sighed again.

"Not exactly," he said wearily, and Lucy recoiled.

"How much longer?"

"Ugh…" he groaned and hung his head back. "I don't really want to-"

"Natsu."

"Alright, alright! Jeez." He raised his arms up before dropping them down. He looked down at the blonde with an exasperated sigh.

"I've been stuck here since I was ten, so… seven years, I guess."

It was quiet for a moment while Lucy tried to gather her wits.

"Seven years?" Lucy spluttered and Natsu glared at her.

"They won't release anyone till they're fully recovered and can be trusted out in the real world independently and I'm far from that even now." He replied hotly.

Lucy couldn't put up with it any longer. She knew what Natsu had done to people who pried in his life… But she had gotten so much out of him due to his worry for her – as weird as that was - and it was probably more than anyone else had ever gotten. Why not push it?

"Natsu…" Lucy began and Natsu held up a finger and backed away from her, his green eyes hardening.

"I know what you're going to ask, Lucy," he said in a quiet voice and started to make his way from the room. "And I'm not talking about it. So, don't bother."

"Natsu, why do you think you've been stuck here for so long?" She asked suddenly, her patience with him running out. She made her way around to him to block the door. "Because you don't talk about things. The first thing I was told when I came here was that defiance gets you no points. Someone should have told you that! If you don't convince them that you're alright, then you'll never get out of here."

Natsu glared at her. He was really angry now.

"Then what do you suggest I do then, Lucy? I don't trust anyone enough here to talk to."

Lucy tilted her chin up to look up at the older man. "You trusted me with how long you stayed here. Have you ever told any of the other patients here?"

Natsu scoffed. "No. But I don't trust you. I don't trust anyone."

"Same here," Lucy sneered as she took a step toward him. She felt a flash of satisfaction as he fell a step back.

"But as much as I hate it, I do have a conscience... kind of. And I know exactly what will help you and you just don't see it. It so frustrating! So, like it or not, I'm going to help you."

Natsu took a dangerous step closer to her. "You're in no position to talk about this shit, Lucy. So, don't fucking try."

Lucy narrowed her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"What, you think I'm the only one who screams in my sleep? But no, you don't scream, Lucy. You talk."

"How on earth would you know that?" She asked, her throat tightening.

"I have to stay in the corridor some nights, make sure patients don't wander around," he stepped closer to her and tilted his head, his eyes cold. "But sometimes I hear you muttering. Muttering about Daddy."

Lucy felt her blood run cold. Her expression must have said everything since Natsu nodded.

"Yeah, you didn't know, huh? It's jarring, I know. Knowing your dreams aren't your own. So, tell me Lucy, do you tell Miss Erza about these dreams?" He paused and leant closer to her, his lips nearing her ear. "These dreams where you beg and beg Daddy to stop?"

She couldn't even respond. Any words she could have formed were caught in her throat. She could only shake her head.

"Yeah. That's what I thought." He muttered quietly as he looked up and walked around her.

And then he left.