TRIGGER WARNING - There are big mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. Also elements of abuse throughout the story. Please read with caution.

Lucy watched as Natsu's eyes narrowed into slits at the question. He grimaced slightly and fell a step away from the woman.

"You just had to pick the hardest question, didn't you?" he muttered, his gaze casting down to the sleek checked floor beneath their feet.

Lucy frowned. "How is it the hardest?"

"Cause in answerin' it I answer all the other questions you probably wanted to ask."

Lucy raised her brows unsympathetically. "Guess I chose a good one then."

Natsu winced again. Lucy rolled her eyes before taking a step forward.

"You don't have to tell me everything that led up to you being here," she told him. "I just want to know what's wrong with you. Levy has anxiety, Gajeel has anger issues, Gray has a stripping habit. What do you have? You just seem so – so-"

"Normal?" Natsu asked, offering a pained smirk. Lucy nodded slowly.

"Yeah," she said. "I can't tell whatsoever what's wrong enough with you to end up at a place like this, and for so long. I'm not sorry for being curious."

Natsu barked a laugh. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that curiosity killed the cat?"

Lucy couldn't hide her scoff. "That appeals to me more than it scares me."

Natsu frowned at her. She looked away and shook her head before meeting his eyes once more.

"So, you gonna tell me or not? I've got places to be."

The young woman watched as Natsu took a deep breath, his deep eyes constantly trained on her face. Like he was waiting for something.

"I was eleven when I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia."

There was a moment of silence as Lucy's jaw hinged and unhinged as she struggled to find a way to respond to that. Out of the million things she could have imagined him to say, it was definitely not that.

"Wh – Oh. Okay, you have –" She had to force the words from her lips. Natsu just glared irritably at the floor.

"I don't really like to talk about it," he muttered, his voice almost moody. "That's one of the reasons I've been stuck here for so long. I also have a… Pyromaniac thing they've more or less fixed. But the schizo thing… I can't talk to Gildarts or Jellal or anyone. He won't let me."

Lucy jerked. "He?"

Natsu stiffened and Lucy took another slow step forward.

"Who is he?"

Natsu closed his eyes. He kept wincing. It was so minuscule that she thought she was imagining it. It was almost like he was trying to turn his head away from a noise that was too loud.

"He's in my head," he said gruffly before pointing to his temple. "Right here. Little demon freak. I don't see things physically in front of me, but I can hear him louder than anyone. He's so fucking loud. And I might not see him in front of me, but I know exactly what he looks like."

Lucy nodded slowly; her voice hesitant. "What does he look like? What is he?"

"His name is Malis," Natsu said quietly. He was frowning but wasn't his usual frown. Lucy could see beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead.

"Malis," Lucy repeated. "And he's what - Like a demon?"

Natsu nodded his head.

"Yep. At first, he was just this... this pair of eyes that watched me. Now he looks more like a demon. But it's mainly his eyes I know - He watches everything I do. He seems so small sometimes, like this tiny little voice in my head, but he tells me to do things… horrible things."

Natsu cringed before continuing. "When I don't do some things, he gets mad. He doesn't seem so small then. He shouts in my head. Really, really loud. It hurts."

He shuddered and Lucy narrowed her eyes. She stepped up onto the small stage to stand in front of him.

"He gets angry when you try and tell people," Lucy said in realisation. Natsu nodded and pressed a finger to his temple. "That's why you never told anyone. He's hurting you right now."

Natsu grit his teeth and nodded again. Lucy was pretty sure he rolled his eyes. "Yes, he's hurting me now. He won't shut up."

"Wh – What is he saying? Can you tell me?"

Natsu looked at the blonde in confusion before taking another ragged breath.

"He's saying… How – How dare I. He makes… He makes the calls, um," Natsu trailed off. Curiosity, guilt, and excitement were gnawing in the blonde's stomach. She could see he was in pain, but she just couldn't believe she was getting this out of him. She wanted to know more.

"What else?"

"Um… Why did you do that, Dragneel?" he said quietly. Lucy had to stain to hear him. "Why, why, why, why, why – "

He gasped then. Okay. He was hurting bad now. Lucy took another tentative step forward to clutch his shoulder. It was lucky she had, as the moment she reached him he stumbled forwards.

"It's bad," he muttered. He was trying to be tough, not fall apart in front on her. She suddenly felt awful for pushing him so far. "He won't – God."

Suddenly, it was like Natsu wasn't there. He slumped against the piano, his eyes blank and fathomless. A flash of panic swamped Lucy as she bent down to shake his shoulders.

"Natsu. Natsu!"

"I don't know," Natsu growled, but he certainly wasn't talking to Lucy. Shock froze her when she realised, he was talking to him. To Malis. "I don't know, I don't know – "

Okay, this was bad. This was really, really bad. This wasn't a bit of anxiety, or depression. It was like Natsu wasn't even here anymore. Tears stung Lucy's eyes as she shook him. She nearly gave up to sprint down the hall and get a doctor.

Before she could even stand, Natsu's eye's blinked open. He seemed to be present again but tired. He looked down in confusion at his slumped form, and quickly pulled from Lucy's grasp. She sighed with relief but stayed crouched in front of him.

"Lucy?" he muttered and rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah. God, you scared the shit out of me." Lucy sighed and closed her eyes. "What do you usually do when you have an… episode like this? What can I do?"

He blinked at her.

"I usually sleep it off." he told her slowly. "But it stopped. He's quiet now."

He seemed shocked by his own statement. He looked at Lucy so closely she felt self-conscious.

Lucy didn't dwell on it. Instead, she huffed and sat on the floor besides him, leaning on the piano at his side.

"What was he saying? You were saying you don't know. What was he asking you?" She asked quietly. Natsu hesitated.

"…He was saying I shouldn't have told you. He was angry. He was asking why I told you."

Lucy was quiet for a while before she finally looked up at his face, her own scrunched up in confusion. "Why did you tell me?"

Natsu's eyes cast down to her wrist. Seeing where his eyes went, Lucy immediately moved it out of his line of sight. Natsu grunted, unsurprised.

"That's why," he told me. "I found out a secret about you that you weren't willing to give."

He stopped short. Lucy watched as his face went from torn to tired as he turned to look at her once more.

"And – And I shouldn't have said what I said. You know - About your dreams."

Lucy's blood ran just as cold as when he first said it. She heard him sigh.

"That wasn't fair. You were trying to help me and instead of being normal and asking you to maybe back off a bit, I used something really shitty against you. It was fucked up and uncalled for so that meant I owed you. I don't like owing people. So, I gave you a chance to know something I didn't want anyone to know."

Lucy shook her head slowly.

"Why would you feel like you owed me? Yeah, you acted like a dick for a minute about my dream, but I saw you in a similar state. And the – other thing. It was an accident that you saw what you saw."

Natsu shook his head before she had even finished talking. "You may not think of it that way now but soon… I just don't want to owe anyone, okay? Ever. You could have easily used that against me in the future and that's the last thing I want. It's the last thing I can risk."

Lucy shook her head again. "You really think I'd use something like that against you?"

Natsu turned his head to look down on her, his face scrunched up.

"I don't think you would do anything like that right now." he said uncertainly. "But in the future, you never know. I don't actually know you. And people change, Lucy. This place could change you. Owing anyone is just not a risk I'm willing to take, no matter how much I trust them."

Her brows shot up. "You trust me?"

Natsu scoffed at her, his lips curling up into his usual half smile. "I wouldn't go that far. But I do more so than any other patients here, I guess."

Lucy smiled at that and awkwardly patted the elder boy's shoulder. Natsu chuckled gruffly and nudged her with his shoulder.

"Same here. You're okay."

Natsu laughed again and stood.

"C'mon. Let's go."

Lucy nodded and dusted herself off as I stood. By the time she looked up Natsu was making his way over to the other side of the room. At first, she thought he was going to just leave her until he held the door open and waited.

"You comin'?"

Lucy hummed.

"Yeah."