A/N: These thoughts take place before the meeting in the season one eppy "The Confession". There shouldn't be any spoilers for further episodes…I hope. ;)
I'll never get over the fact that I had to betray a confidence. It was the hardest thing in the world to tell Sydney about the atrocities her father had done so many years before. For some reason, Sydney seems to have a confidence with me that she doesn't have with anyone, not even with her father.
Her father… now that's a laugh. Jack's an ass. A lone eagle. A stone wall. She's talked to me about him. I can't imagine why someone would not want a relationship with her, at any age. Jack's an ass.
At least she had a father. He may have been distant, cold, unloving; but she still had a father. Something in my mother died the day we found out about Dad. She was never the same. I don't know if that's the same thing that happened to Jack after his wife's accident, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't make right the relationship that he formed with his daughter. They aren't a family, at least nothing that resembles it. At some level I feel for them, I feel for them both.
With all Sydney has asked of me, I can't just let this slip. Those twelve agents… my father… deserve some kind of respect, their murders vindicated. If that means taking down the father of my asset, than so be it.
Weiss has said on many occasions that I care too much for Sydney, that I take my handler/asset relationship too far. Maybe he's right. Maybe that's why I told her about the tape. Telling her about her father's involvement in my father's death made me feel somewhat better about all this, but it also feels like I'm just adding another nail to Jack's coffin. I see it in her eyes. It cuts me to the quick, but it has to be done.
It has to be done.
It must be done.
For the twelve.
For my father.