The room was too clouded with smoke for Rogue to make out anyone's face
clearly. The music was a loud bass that reverbated deep into her feet, and
she felt that if she closed her eyes and leaned back against a wall she
would feel her heart beating in time. She sniffed the air and smelled a
sweet scent that was undeniably weed related. After a few moments of deep
breathing, Rogue felt parts of her mental shielding slipping away, a dream-
like quality replaced any sense of responsibilty and duty she had
previously felt. Now all that she knew was a slippery feeling in her
thoughts, nothing had cohesion or importance.
Many people around the house were dancing, laughing and being wildly happy. Rogue looked around her, taking all of this in and felt herself standing on the edge of the precipice that was this party. She was not smiling, in this state of euphoria she felt only the shambles of her thoughts and emotions. Drugs never made her happy, like the way stimulants effected some people, they only brought her to a point of dissolution. Nothing mattered. She was carefree.
She was distantly aware that she had moved through the house, into darker corners and places without so much lighting. The music had changed to a legatto, drowning tune that made her head spin slowly around. She tripped, but was not aware of it. Someone handed her a soda, her hands worked of their own accord to grasp the cup, but not firmly enough. The damn drink spilled down her front.
The party had started out as bash to end all bashes, Risty certainly seemed proud of it. She ran....or walked...(Rogue felt everything was slowing down) to Rogue, slapping her on the back and laughing energetically. Rogue wondered where she got so much energy...how could she move so fast...the room was spinning. Rogue gripped her forehead, trying to stop the wild ride, it was not working...she would be driven into a wall. Someone grabbed her by the arms and threw her to the floor, this also happened in the slow frame so as she fell the room was not insync with itself at all....it kept doubling and re-doubling in her vision. This guy, who was he? Why did he keep grabbing at her shirt....my skin...no, not my shirt..
"Stop, you don't know-" His words were coming out of his mouth so fast and Rogue could still see the drunken glory and bliss of euphoria in his eyes, he didn't know, she had to tell him. "Not immortal, don't-" But the words would not form correctly on her lips. Why was he so stupid - hadn't they ever told him? "Scars..too many...not...invited.."
The soft, open expanse of flesh was Rogue's stomach, like the underbelly of a seagull- thought the boy who had grabbed her.
Rogue's thoughts flashed in turn before her eyes, another boy looking at her so frantically...his mouth was an open gash of fear and confusion. She was imprinting him-
Jared lay back against the wall, his chest heaving and sweat standing out on his face and forehead like diamonds in the darkness. Blue silhoette cast everything in the room into shadows, it threw his features into sharp relief. I flinched as he spasmed, then groaned and let his head fall to his knees with a dull thud. It was so cold in that room, the window was open, the night air poured inside and left both of them shivering. But Jared could not feel it, he was wearing no shirt and I knew he would get sick if it stayed open. My hands trembled before my face. This was not happening. I had never wanted to be so stupid. Had never wanted anything more than to be a normal kid. Normal kids experimented now and then, but I hadn't been expecting this.
Jared's under more stress..... He was hurting so bad..... His parents were so harsh.....
He had taken two heads of acid to escape, in a fit of glorious rebellion and raging torment. He and I both knew there was no escape from the thoughts in your head. No escaping the midnight dialogues that plagued us both, we knew there was no caustic end to this. Jared never cared that I was a freak of nature. All he had ever asked of me was "Don't talk about it." We did not talk about our problems. His father the alchoholic, my tribulations as a mutant- this was not a psyciatric relationship. Neither of us wanted to deal. So we didn't.
He just couldn't take it. Jared had broken.
And I was the only one here to weather it with him.
"Jared." I said only his name, I didn't even think he heard me. It took several moments before his shaggy brown head lifted from his knees to look at me. When he did, the blood drained from my face. His breathing was chaotic, spittle formed the edges around his mouth and his teeth were incredibly white against the darkness of his face. A sound began in his throat, a high whining sound, he slumped on his side and began clawing the wall, the whining sound reminding me too much a caged animal gone rabid.
I stood, keeping my back to the wall and close to the window. Something was wrong, Jared was.....wrong. He flung himself at me, his whining rapidly increasing in volume to become a deafening scream that spilt my head open. My ears felt like they were bleeding and I wanted to die. Anything to stop that horrible noise of something dying inside, of something without humanity. Jared snapped his teeth, biting at me, trying to get at my throat. "No! Please God!" He had grabbed my shoulder, the bare skin of my shoulder and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I tried so hard to pull away from him, my friend, who was too doped up to realize that I was hurting him, that he could die. That he was dying. That this glorious feeling that was filling my very being and stretching the world to lay bear at my feet was destroying every fiber that made him mortal. A human being. I watched myself through his eyes as I flailed my arms, trying to escape from him, to save my friend. His thoughts, dissoluted and meaningless filtered into my own thoughts and became one. I began screaming the words that he was thinking, that kept coming every single second. " Hurt me! Hurt me! HURT ME!!!" My thoughts penetrated his head and he began screaming what I was thinking. "I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" Jared's hold on my shoulder loosened, he twitched several times before falling back to the carpet, chest heaving, the sweat still glistening in the azure light and his eyes bottomless pits of pain and torture that had finally come to surface this night, for me to weather and for him to explode. His trembling movements stilled, his heaving chest fell and I was left alone. No one would ever know that he had become a part of me. The only person to ever accept me as I truly was, he would always be a part of me-
he would always be a part of her, unless he let go. "GET OFF!" The choice was taken out of Rogue's hands as Kurt came rocketing out of nowhere, his feet hitting the chest of the boy who had hold of her. Just like Jared had been, he did not feel the impact and stayed where he had fallen. But he was still breathing, unlike Jared.
The music was still pounding away in the house, only half of the occupants actually realized what was going on, that some mutants had crashed. Rogue wasn't even hardly aware of what was going on, she wasn't brain dead, just dissenthesized to any emotions or outward happenings. Her mind was shutting down, too much was happening. This time she would not be able to weather. She was not strong enough- "Please, take her," her vision was still horrible, nothing was making sense. Was that Nightcrawler? No- Kurt, he was only Kurt.If he was only Kurt, he couldn't be taken away from her. "Remy know's a place, least 'til she get her senses." "Fine, I 'vhill make some excuses to 'ze others." With a nod, Remy bent beside Rogue and took her hand. "You are cold as ice, young belle." Rogue's unseeing eyes kept to the carpet.
"Ice princess." Was all she muttered. He examined her, worried that maybe this all wasn't just the effects of drugs. Her attitude seemed to be playing a major part in the stupor she had settled into. "Rogue? Can you stand?" She did not look at him.
"Call me Marie." He said nothing, only wrapped her arm around his neck and supported her around the waist.
Rogue did not actually remember the walk back to the bus station, nor the ride downtown. All she was aware of was the resounding heartbeat in her ears and wrist, the only certain thing to her now. If she died, that would certain too, only her death and continued living torment was real. Reality.
Nothing was absolute. Nobody was permanent. They all lied.
"Belle, please lay down." He pushed her down into the couch, and she just barely felt his breath against her neck. Despite the state of uselessness she was in, Rogue felt she had to say something. "You didn't have to." He cocked his head to the side, not sure what to think.
"Did not have to what?" She blinked, her eyes seemingly as dead as shark eyes.
"Pretend that you cared." Remy could not think of what to say to this, his apartment did not offer any solutions, as he looked around it. There was too much relying on his words..what if he did not say the right thing?
Sighing deeply, he decided to wait on it. Remy pulled the quilt from the back of the couch, wrapping it around Rogue's head and shoulders, then laid back against the cushions, pulling Rogue to rest against his chest.
She did not expect to hear a heartbeat in the morning, did not wait to hear the resounding end of the fandango. Nobody could stay. She knew the Rogue was just destined to be alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ok, not done yet. Things will soon be resolved in the world, I hope. Just be patient. For right now, thanks for all the reviews, Ishandahalf, you scare me.
Awesome! Non ti scordor di me
Many people around the house were dancing, laughing and being wildly happy. Rogue looked around her, taking all of this in and felt herself standing on the edge of the precipice that was this party. She was not smiling, in this state of euphoria she felt only the shambles of her thoughts and emotions. Drugs never made her happy, like the way stimulants effected some people, they only brought her to a point of dissolution. Nothing mattered. She was carefree.
She was distantly aware that she had moved through the house, into darker corners and places without so much lighting. The music had changed to a legatto, drowning tune that made her head spin slowly around. She tripped, but was not aware of it. Someone handed her a soda, her hands worked of their own accord to grasp the cup, but not firmly enough. The damn drink spilled down her front.
The party had started out as bash to end all bashes, Risty certainly seemed proud of it. She ran....or walked...(Rogue felt everything was slowing down) to Rogue, slapping her on the back and laughing energetically. Rogue wondered where she got so much energy...how could she move so fast...the room was spinning. Rogue gripped her forehead, trying to stop the wild ride, it was not working...she would be driven into a wall. Someone grabbed her by the arms and threw her to the floor, this also happened in the slow frame so as she fell the room was not insync with itself at all....it kept doubling and re-doubling in her vision. This guy, who was he? Why did he keep grabbing at her shirt....my skin...no, not my shirt..
"Stop, you don't know-" His words were coming out of his mouth so fast and Rogue could still see the drunken glory and bliss of euphoria in his eyes, he didn't know, she had to tell him. "Not immortal, don't-" But the words would not form correctly on her lips. Why was he so stupid - hadn't they ever told him? "Scars..too many...not...invited.."
The soft, open expanse of flesh was Rogue's stomach, like the underbelly of a seagull- thought the boy who had grabbed her.
Rogue's thoughts flashed in turn before her eyes, another boy looking at her so frantically...his mouth was an open gash of fear and confusion. She was imprinting him-
Jared lay back against the wall, his chest heaving and sweat standing out on his face and forehead like diamonds in the darkness. Blue silhoette cast everything in the room into shadows, it threw his features into sharp relief. I flinched as he spasmed, then groaned and let his head fall to his knees with a dull thud. It was so cold in that room, the window was open, the night air poured inside and left both of them shivering. But Jared could not feel it, he was wearing no shirt and I knew he would get sick if it stayed open. My hands trembled before my face. This was not happening. I had never wanted to be so stupid. Had never wanted anything more than to be a normal kid. Normal kids experimented now and then, but I hadn't been expecting this.
Jared's under more stress..... He was hurting so bad..... His parents were so harsh.....
He had taken two heads of acid to escape, in a fit of glorious rebellion and raging torment. He and I both knew there was no escape from the thoughts in your head. No escaping the midnight dialogues that plagued us both, we knew there was no caustic end to this. Jared never cared that I was a freak of nature. All he had ever asked of me was "Don't talk about it." We did not talk about our problems. His father the alchoholic, my tribulations as a mutant- this was not a psyciatric relationship. Neither of us wanted to deal. So we didn't.
He just couldn't take it. Jared had broken.
And I was the only one here to weather it with him.
"Jared." I said only his name, I didn't even think he heard me. It took several moments before his shaggy brown head lifted from his knees to look at me. When he did, the blood drained from my face. His breathing was chaotic, spittle formed the edges around his mouth and his teeth were incredibly white against the darkness of his face. A sound began in his throat, a high whining sound, he slumped on his side and began clawing the wall, the whining sound reminding me too much a caged animal gone rabid.
I stood, keeping my back to the wall and close to the window. Something was wrong, Jared was.....wrong. He flung himself at me, his whining rapidly increasing in volume to become a deafening scream that spilt my head open. My ears felt like they were bleeding and I wanted to die. Anything to stop that horrible noise of something dying inside, of something without humanity. Jared snapped his teeth, biting at me, trying to get at my throat. "No! Please God!" He had grabbed my shoulder, the bare skin of my shoulder and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I tried so hard to pull away from him, my friend, who was too doped up to realize that I was hurting him, that he could die. That he was dying. That this glorious feeling that was filling my very being and stretching the world to lay bear at my feet was destroying every fiber that made him mortal. A human being. I watched myself through his eyes as I flailed my arms, trying to escape from him, to save my friend. His thoughts, dissoluted and meaningless filtered into my own thoughts and became one. I began screaming the words that he was thinking, that kept coming every single second. " Hurt me! Hurt me! HURT ME!!!" My thoughts penetrated his head and he began screaming what I was thinking. "I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" Jared's hold on my shoulder loosened, he twitched several times before falling back to the carpet, chest heaving, the sweat still glistening in the azure light and his eyes bottomless pits of pain and torture that had finally come to surface this night, for me to weather and for him to explode. His trembling movements stilled, his heaving chest fell and I was left alone. No one would ever know that he had become a part of me. The only person to ever accept me as I truly was, he would always be a part of me-
he would always be a part of her, unless he let go. "GET OFF!" The choice was taken out of Rogue's hands as Kurt came rocketing out of nowhere, his feet hitting the chest of the boy who had hold of her. Just like Jared had been, he did not feel the impact and stayed where he had fallen. But he was still breathing, unlike Jared.
The music was still pounding away in the house, only half of the occupants actually realized what was going on, that some mutants had crashed. Rogue wasn't even hardly aware of what was going on, she wasn't brain dead, just dissenthesized to any emotions or outward happenings. Her mind was shutting down, too much was happening. This time she would not be able to weather. She was not strong enough- "Please, take her," her vision was still horrible, nothing was making sense. Was that Nightcrawler? No- Kurt, he was only Kurt.If he was only Kurt, he couldn't be taken away from her. "Remy know's a place, least 'til she get her senses." "Fine, I 'vhill make some excuses to 'ze others." With a nod, Remy bent beside Rogue and took her hand. "You are cold as ice, young belle." Rogue's unseeing eyes kept to the carpet.
"Ice princess." Was all she muttered. He examined her, worried that maybe this all wasn't just the effects of drugs. Her attitude seemed to be playing a major part in the stupor she had settled into. "Rogue? Can you stand?" She did not look at him.
"Call me Marie." He said nothing, only wrapped her arm around his neck and supported her around the waist.
Rogue did not actually remember the walk back to the bus station, nor the ride downtown. All she was aware of was the resounding heartbeat in her ears and wrist, the only certain thing to her now. If she died, that would certain too, only her death and continued living torment was real. Reality.
Nothing was absolute. Nobody was permanent. They all lied.
"Belle, please lay down." He pushed her down into the couch, and she just barely felt his breath against her neck. Despite the state of uselessness she was in, Rogue felt she had to say something. "You didn't have to." He cocked his head to the side, not sure what to think.
"Did not have to what?" She blinked, her eyes seemingly as dead as shark eyes.
"Pretend that you cared." Remy could not think of what to say to this, his apartment did not offer any solutions, as he looked around it. There was too much relying on his words..what if he did not say the right thing?
Sighing deeply, he decided to wait on it. Remy pulled the quilt from the back of the couch, wrapping it around Rogue's head and shoulders, then laid back against the cushions, pulling Rogue to rest against his chest.
She did not expect to hear a heartbeat in the morning, did not wait to hear the resounding end of the fandango. Nobody could stay. She knew the Rogue was just destined to be alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ok, not done yet. Things will soon be resolved in the world, I hope. Just be patient. For right now, thanks for all the reviews, Ishandahalf, you scare me.
Awesome! Non ti scordor di me