Only the voices remained. There was nothing else left in Rogue. No essence
within the husk of mortal life.
She was a broken toy. That was that.
"Belle....please look at Remy, open your eyes.." Remy willed the girl laying on his couch to show signs of life. Her breathing was so slow, so catalyptic that he wondered if she had gone into some sort of permanent hibernation. A coma. He shrugged these thoughts away, concentrating on getting her to wake up. At his urging, she finally opened her eyes. He began to smile, not the usual rakish smirk that befell his lips when encountering a female, but a true smile. The action died just as soon as it began, for he saw her eyes. They were the normal deep forest green they had always been, but they were blank. Lifeless. There may have been breath in her lungs and a heartbeat in her chest, but there was no one upstairs. No one was stirring behind the windows of her soul. This house had been abandoned.
Remy felt the cold seep across his shoulders and chest. A guilt, an anger, and the icy unsureness of fear. God help her.
"What is this?" It was incredibly white all around. A color that seemed too pure for snow or unicorns, all the things that Marie had believed in long ago. This place had no matter, no substance to it. There was only the ivory threshold of no sky or ground or walls. It scared her, this place that was a dream. The fear tugged at her stomach, knotted in her brain. Did she even have a body?
Yes. She looked at her hand, pale as always, but paler in the luminous white, like standing in moonlight. She felt her hair, her face, she was wearing nothing. Marie was not cold. She did not really feel anything, only knew that everything was there. "Am I going by Marie again?" It was strange to her, her thoughts were being spoken aloud. But..it didn't feel to her that she was talking. What the hell was this? One part of her felt like curling into a small corner, shutting her eyes and waiting for the nightmare to end. Another part of her wanted to thrash out into the white nothingness and scream and rip away, to fight the invisible force that kept her here.
"What's stopping you?" Marie felt, rather than saw the person standing to her right. It was incredulous to believe, but in this place seemed absolutely normal to see her own body there. An exact copy of Rogue.
"What happened to Marie?" Again, her thoughts were being projected loudly, the pseudo-Rogue smirked and jerked her head to the left.
"She's still there." Marie was standing to her left, arms wrapped protectively around her bare stomach and looking at the floor. Her face seemed taut with some kind of emotion, whether it was fear or sadness, she could not tell. "So what's stopping you from ripping away?" Rogue clicked her tongue impatiently, raising her eyebrows expectantly for her answer.
"Um, I don't think I can." Rogue rolled her eyes.
"You mean she can't," she jabbed her thumb at the other girl. "I could rip, "she went on, "if I wanted to. " Marie watched as pseudo-Rogue clicked her tongue again and flipped her long dark hair back. Her eyes went back to the still silent female who also resembled her, another Rogue. Or was it Marie?
"Who are you?" She directed her question to the first Rogue, who answered plaintively.
"Rogue, of course. " Once again, she jabbed her thumb in then other girl's direction. "She's Marie."
"But then, who am I?"
"You are me."
"I am you?"
"And her, too." Pseudo-Rogue rolled her eyes again at mentioned of the other, she didn't seem to like the shy one very much.
"So I am both you."
"As we are both of you."
"I don't understand. " Pseudo-Rogue stepped closer, speaking rapidly, her hands fidgeting at her sides.
"When does anybody understand anything? It's stupid anyhow, this setup. Wasn't supposed to be this screwed up. " This Rogue looked down at herself, as though resenting everything about herself also.
"I'm screwed up." Was the only way she thought to reply. Pseudo-Rogue blanched visibly, her eyes widened.
"You're not supposed to say that!"
"And why not? It's true isn't it?" As she spoke, the pseudo-Rogue seemed to be getting more vivid, her cheeks were gaining color and her eyes were becoming a more distinct green. But when she looked back at the other girl, whom still had not spoken, she noticed she seemed paler by comparison. She was like a wil-o-the-wisp. "It's just like I've always known, God made a toy....but it got broken. He doesn't want a toy that's broken."
"Who the hell are you to decide you're broken!?" Rogue was now glaring at her, full in the face and looking a great deal more real than moments before. The other girl, Marie was becoming more and more like a cartoon on paper.
"Stop! You'll disappear!" She moved as though to touch Marie, to help her, but the fragile girl only shifted away, weak and almost transparent.
"Don't you want it? You're doing it, you know." Rogue touched her on the shoulder, and she felt her hand was very warm. In contrast, she felt herself was very cold.
"I am not! Why would I do that?"
"Because it's all you know. It's all we know. Everytime something doesn't work, we move on to the next thing. In this case, she is not working very well as a shield so she's disappearing. You're dissolving her. "
"I'm not using her as a shield."
"Oh, haven't you? You use me all too often. "
"I-...what?" Rogue did not answer or repeat her question, she only looked very carefully at her. They both knew what she meant, only one knew why. "Why is this happening?"
"You live in a world that is shattered by pain, so you rebuild from the inside peice by peice and try to protect yourself by pulling away from anyone and everyone. But then something bad happens-
Jared's face flashed in her eyes-
- and everything collapses from the outside in. Come on idiot! Think!" Rogue slapped her across the face, and she did not feel the sting of her hand, only the thoughts that were supposed to come with it.
"What's wrong with my world? I'm safe here, if I've got both of you as my protection, why do I need anyone else?" Rogue raised her hand to the air, two fingers sliding across space.
"Man was not meant to be alone. You can't survive by yourself, inside yourself. Therefore, we can't survive either. More and more you have used me, Rogue, as your cover shield and I've grown stronger with each blow I block. " Rogue walked to where Marie was now crouched on her knees, shivering with no cold. She touched Marie on the shoulder. "She has remained dormant for so long that you have begun to phase her out. "
"But, who is she?!" She pointed at the crouching girl, her hand shaking slightly. "That's not me! And you aren't either! I know who I am. "
"Do you?" Cold silence only greeted these last words. "You use us in turn to deflect everyone else. If you are not me and you are not her, then what exactly are you?"
"I'm human."
"Human's can withstand the cold pain of life. You,"Rogue turned her hand, palm side up to me, "cannot."
"I am all that I need to be!"
"You are not. Humans need to be loving, and be loved in return. You have not loved another being in so long...you have come to believe that you are unloveable. What is a human being without love?"
A flash of Jared, alone and dead
"What is happiness without pain?" She said tonelessly.
"Exactly. Rogue and Marie are the same, you cannot be one without the other. You cannot seperate us without killing all of us. "
"All?"
"You too, you are the very core of what is the human being. Not just a fleshy body. There is a soul that must be nurtured. You have to stop hurting yourself. "
"I'm not hurting myself."
"You cut yourself off."
"I was protecting myself."
"You were killing yourself."
A flash of the orange pill bottle
"I was only taking them to sleep."
"You are killing all of us."
"I did nothing."
"And nothing you became. You understand why you are here?" She looked away from Rogue and back at Marie, who was still transparent as a ghost. Her breath was only a whisper in space. Who can hear a whisper in space?
"Yes. " All of them were connected then, a thread that golden and silver wound through their featureless selves. God, to never be disconnected! Never be dissolved! To be whole and not broken! "I am not broken!" Her voice reverbated and bounced back like an echo, but not so. It held her like a vowed promise, it straightened her back and lifted her eyes. She fell to her knees not in weakness, but in the strength of knowing she was strong. This was what it was to be strong! To know you are worth thought and emotion, to think of yourself as a being of worthy cause and future. No more shattered reality and nightmarish pain! No more wilting down as dying flower to be trampled on by the world and it's hate. She could be the world, she could be anything.
"You must not remain solitary."
"You never were." Marie had finally spoken, she was no longer transparent and wistful, she was standing vibrant and strong. She was a light beaming across the space and time, just as Rogue was, just as the soul was that had been mended.
All three took hands, finally reunited and bonded together. One.
"One."
~ Remy felt the electricity as her eyes cleared, he felt it flow through his face in a flush of heat and cold like he had never known in his life. Rogue recognized him slowly, then gave him a hesitant smile. "Hi." She whispered.
"Hi." He said back. Nothing was mentioned for a while, they simply remained where they were. Rogue was still lying down on the couch with the quilt wrapped around her, and Remy was still sitting on the floor beside her.
"How are you?" He finally said. She opened her mouth to speak, to say something, but the words would not come. She smiled again, instead and he accepted this. "That good, huh?"
"Not really, but..."she hesitated, taking a deep breath, " it's getting better by the minute."
"Do you want to talk about.." Rogue shook her head. "I didn't think so. Later then?" She watched his face, noticed the way the morning light fell across his red eyes and lit them like a furnace. Another human being, another soul just waiting to be touched and to touch her. She wanted to reach up and feel his face and to know that he was real, after the dream she could not get enough of reality. She answered his question.
"Let me tell you everything."
~ Dedicated to Allen Clayton
****************
Hope you guys liked it! I'm happy that everyone has reviewed up til now, give me all your reports if you will please, even if you think it sucked. I'd like to hear about it.
In the beginning, I started to do another action and romance sort of thing. But I realized something over the past few weeks, before you can handle some major things in your life, you need to find out what's going on inside of you. Examine yourself, you may be suprised at what you find.
-Ash
"Belle....please look at Remy, open your eyes.." Remy willed the girl laying on his couch to show signs of life. Her breathing was so slow, so catalyptic that he wondered if she had gone into some sort of permanent hibernation. A coma. He shrugged these thoughts away, concentrating on getting her to wake up. At his urging, she finally opened her eyes. He began to smile, not the usual rakish smirk that befell his lips when encountering a female, but a true smile. The action died just as soon as it began, for he saw her eyes. They were the normal deep forest green they had always been, but they were blank. Lifeless. There may have been breath in her lungs and a heartbeat in her chest, but there was no one upstairs. No one was stirring behind the windows of her soul. This house had been abandoned.
Remy felt the cold seep across his shoulders and chest. A guilt, an anger, and the icy unsureness of fear. God help her.
"What is this?" It was incredibly white all around. A color that seemed too pure for snow or unicorns, all the things that Marie had believed in long ago. This place had no matter, no substance to it. There was only the ivory threshold of no sky or ground or walls. It scared her, this place that was a dream. The fear tugged at her stomach, knotted in her brain. Did she even have a body?
Yes. She looked at her hand, pale as always, but paler in the luminous white, like standing in moonlight. She felt her hair, her face, she was wearing nothing. Marie was not cold. She did not really feel anything, only knew that everything was there. "Am I going by Marie again?" It was strange to her, her thoughts were being spoken aloud. But..it didn't feel to her that she was talking. What the hell was this? One part of her felt like curling into a small corner, shutting her eyes and waiting for the nightmare to end. Another part of her wanted to thrash out into the white nothingness and scream and rip away, to fight the invisible force that kept her here.
"What's stopping you?" Marie felt, rather than saw the person standing to her right. It was incredulous to believe, but in this place seemed absolutely normal to see her own body there. An exact copy of Rogue.
"What happened to Marie?" Again, her thoughts were being projected loudly, the pseudo-Rogue smirked and jerked her head to the left.
"She's still there." Marie was standing to her left, arms wrapped protectively around her bare stomach and looking at the floor. Her face seemed taut with some kind of emotion, whether it was fear or sadness, she could not tell. "So what's stopping you from ripping away?" Rogue clicked her tongue impatiently, raising her eyebrows expectantly for her answer.
"Um, I don't think I can." Rogue rolled her eyes.
"You mean she can't," she jabbed her thumb at the other girl. "I could rip, "she went on, "if I wanted to. " Marie watched as pseudo-Rogue clicked her tongue again and flipped her long dark hair back. Her eyes went back to the still silent female who also resembled her, another Rogue. Or was it Marie?
"Who are you?" She directed her question to the first Rogue, who answered plaintively.
"Rogue, of course. " Once again, she jabbed her thumb in then other girl's direction. "She's Marie."
"But then, who am I?"
"You are me."
"I am you?"
"And her, too." Pseudo-Rogue rolled her eyes again at mentioned of the other, she didn't seem to like the shy one very much.
"So I am both you."
"As we are both of you."
"I don't understand. " Pseudo-Rogue stepped closer, speaking rapidly, her hands fidgeting at her sides.
"When does anybody understand anything? It's stupid anyhow, this setup. Wasn't supposed to be this screwed up. " This Rogue looked down at herself, as though resenting everything about herself also.
"I'm screwed up." Was the only way she thought to reply. Pseudo-Rogue blanched visibly, her eyes widened.
"You're not supposed to say that!"
"And why not? It's true isn't it?" As she spoke, the pseudo-Rogue seemed to be getting more vivid, her cheeks were gaining color and her eyes were becoming a more distinct green. But when she looked back at the other girl, whom still had not spoken, she noticed she seemed paler by comparison. She was like a wil-o-the-wisp. "It's just like I've always known, God made a toy....but it got broken. He doesn't want a toy that's broken."
"Who the hell are you to decide you're broken!?" Rogue was now glaring at her, full in the face and looking a great deal more real than moments before. The other girl, Marie was becoming more and more like a cartoon on paper.
"Stop! You'll disappear!" She moved as though to touch Marie, to help her, but the fragile girl only shifted away, weak and almost transparent.
"Don't you want it? You're doing it, you know." Rogue touched her on the shoulder, and she felt her hand was very warm. In contrast, she felt herself was very cold.
"I am not! Why would I do that?"
"Because it's all you know. It's all we know. Everytime something doesn't work, we move on to the next thing. In this case, she is not working very well as a shield so she's disappearing. You're dissolving her. "
"I'm not using her as a shield."
"Oh, haven't you? You use me all too often. "
"I-...what?" Rogue did not answer or repeat her question, she only looked very carefully at her. They both knew what she meant, only one knew why. "Why is this happening?"
"You live in a world that is shattered by pain, so you rebuild from the inside peice by peice and try to protect yourself by pulling away from anyone and everyone. But then something bad happens-
Jared's face flashed in her eyes-
- and everything collapses from the outside in. Come on idiot! Think!" Rogue slapped her across the face, and she did not feel the sting of her hand, only the thoughts that were supposed to come with it.
"What's wrong with my world? I'm safe here, if I've got both of you as my protection, why do I need anyone else?" Rogue raised her hand to the air, two fingers sliding across space.
"Man was not meant to be alone. You can't survive by yourself, inside yourself. Therefore, we can't survive either. More and more you have used me, Rogue, as your cover shield and I've grown stronger with each blow I block. " Rogue walked to where Marie was now crouched on her knees, shivering with no cold. She touched Marie on the shoulder. "She has remained dormant for so long that you have begun to phase her out. "
"But, who is she?!" She pointed at the crouching girl, her hand shaking slightly. "That's not me! And you aren't either! I know who I am. "
"Do you?" Cold silence only greeted these last words. "You use us in turn to deflect everyone else. If you are not me and you are not her, then what exactly are you?"
"I'm human."
"Human's can withstand the cold pain of life. You,"Rogue turned her hand, palm side up to me, "cannot."
"I am all that I need to be!"
"You are not. Humans need to be loving, and be loved in return. You have not loved another being in so long...you have come to believe that you are unloveable. What is a human being without love?"
A flash of Jared, alone and dead
"What is happiness without pain?" She said tonelessly.
"Exactly. Rogue and Marie are the same, you cannot be one without the other. You cannot seperate us without killing all of us. "
"All?"
"You too, you are the very core of what is the human being. Not just a fleshy body. There is a soul that must be nurtured. You have to stop hurting yourself. "
"I'm not hurting myself."
"You cut yourself off."
"I was protecting myself."
"You were killing yourself."
A flash of the orange pill bottle
"I was only taking them to sleep."
"You are killing all of us."
"I did nothing."
"And nothing you became. You understand why you are here?" She looked away from Rogue and back at Marie, who was still transparent as a ghost. Her breath was only a whisper in space. Who can hear a whisper in space?
"Yes. " All of them were connected then, a thread that golden and silver wound through their featureless selves. God, to never be disconnected! Never be dissolved! To be whole and not broken! "I am not broken!" Her voice reverbated and bounced back like an echo, but not so. It held her like a vowed promise, it straightened her back and lifted her eyes. She fell to her knees not in weakness, but in the strength of knowing she was strong. This was what it was to be strong! To know you are worth thought and emotion, to think of yourself as a being of worthy cause and future. No more shattered reality and nightmarish pain! No more wilting down as dying flower to be trampled on by the world and it's hate. She could be the world, she could be anything.
"You must not remain solitary."
"You never were." Marie had finally spoken, she was no longer transparent and wistful, she was standing vibrant and strong. She was a light beaming across the space and time, just as Rogue was, just as the soul was that had been mended.
All three took hands, finally reunited and bonded together. One.
"One."
~ Remy felt the electricity as her eyes cleared, he felt it flow through his face in a flush of heat and cold like he had never known in his life. Rogue recognized him slowly, then gave him a hesitant smile. "Hi." She whispered.
"Hi." He said back. Nothing was mentioned for a while, they simply remained where they were. Rogue was still lying down on the couch with the quilt wrapped around her, and Remy was still sitting on the floor beside her.
"How are you?" He finally said. She opened her mouth to speak, to say something, but the words would not come. She smiled again, instead and he accepted this. "That good, huh?"
"Not really, but..."she hesitated, taking a deep breath, " it's getting better by the minute."
"Do you want to talk about.." Rogue shook her head. "I didn't think so. Later then?" She watched his face, noticed the way the morning light fell across his red eyes and lit them like a furnace. Another human being, another soul just waiting to be touched and to touch her. She wanted to reach up and feel his face and to know that he was real, after the dream she could not get enough of reality. She answered his question.
"Let me tell you everything."
~ Dedicated to Allen Clayton
****************
Hope you guys liked it! I'm happy that everyone has reviewed up til now, give me all your reports if you will please, even if you think it sucked. I'd like to hear about it.
In the beginning, I started to do another action and romance sort of thing. But I realized something over the past few weeks, before you can handle some major things in your life, you need to find out what's going on inside of you. Examine yourself, you may be suprised at what you find.
-Ash