Let me know what you think, as always....I'll try to get another part up
tomorrow, but if not then, definitely the beginning of the week. I need
feedback in order to function!!!
Katie
Part 7:
Rachel sat in a park not too far away from her mother's house, sitting on a swing and gently pushing herself back and forward. The small neighborhood park was empty, most of the area kids were in school or day care, the park would undoubtedly be full by the late afternoon...it was amazing how much of the little things she remembered from her past.
Wiping away a few tears, she looked around the small playground, smiling as she remembered the days when her Mom or Dad would bring her, Jill, and Amy down to play. They'd spend hours running around and trying out every single toy until they found the one they liked the most. Jill would be running up the steps to the jungle gym and sliding down the slide, repeatedly until worn out, then she'd wander over to the benches and lay down for a nap, sometimes just watching her sisters play. Amy would spend the majority of her time on the swings, pretending like she could fly, and Rachel's favorite thing to do was be pushed on the tire swing. She'd beg whichever parent accompanied them to push her faster, seeing how fast she could spin.
The wind whipped through her light sweater and she wished she had brought a jacket. It was in the mid 70s outside, but the wind was picking up, it would probably rain later that afternoon. It was perfect for her mood, the overcast skies and the light drizzle that came down every so often. It was like the world was crying with her.
Dragging her feet in the sand, she pulled her sweater tighter, taking a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh. If she was in New York, she'd just be getting off of school, and she'd be rushing home to get her assignments completed so she could have the afternoon to sit around and do nothing.
In fact, she had brought her books with her, and the more she thought of it, the better a day of Biology sounded to her. Anything to keep her mind off of this awful situation they were in.
It was true. Her mother was dating her lawyer, Gregory....not Greg, but Gregory. They were pretty close....the reason Amy even found out was because he had left some of his things over. Gregory had a son and a daughter, 11 and 14 respectively. And they were all coming over for dinner...how fun would that be?
Rachel scowled at the thought of those people in her home. Well, it wasn't her home now, but her father hadn't passed that long ago, it definitely wasn't time yet for her mother to be sleeping with someone else. And she definitely didn't want to meet his bratty kids. That would only make her miss her own friends more.
Her mother promised it would be fun, but Rachel found that very hard to believe. She didn't know this man at all, or his kids...she barely knew her own mother! Kicking a foot full of sand into the air angrily, she let out a strangled scream. It was past time to go home already, and it was only her second day. Could this trip get any worse?
A voice behind her brought her from her bitter thoughts, "We're going to the Soup Shop for lunch, want to come?" Amy said gently, "Aunt Faye and Uncle John are taking us. Mom's with her attorney."
"He's letting her see his briefs?" Rachel asked with a smirk, "Am I the only one who finds that arrangement crazy?"
Amy shook her head, "No, I think it's insane too. Not to mention disgusting. I've met her lawyer, he's not too easy on the eyes."
"But he's rich." Rachel said dryly, swinging herself up into the air a bit, "And you know she cares about money."
Amy shrugged, "She wants to keep her house, I guess."
"I think I'll pass on lunch, I'm not that hungry." Rachel said gloomily. "I don't feel like visiting anyway."
Amy put her hands on her hips, "You haven't eaten since the day before yesterday, get your butt out of that swing and come with us. I don't think Aunt Faye and Uncle John really expect us to visit much."
"Whatever." Rachel mumbled, following her sister, her face in a frown as she drug her feet in the sand. "I hate this."
"Oh really?" Amy asked sarcastically, "I hadn't noticed."
~*~
Laying on his bed, Ross stared at the ceiling, his body exhausted. He had spent the entire day thinking of ways to keep busy without thinking of Rachel...of course, it was impossible not to think of her, so he really just ended up wearing himself out and still feeling the empty hole in his chest.
It was time for her to come back, he couldn't take another day without her. Looking at his calendar, he knew it wasn't as simple as that. He just hoped her mother didn't screw with her head anymore while she was there.
The phone rang and he jumped to answer it, "Hello?"
"Hey, it's me." Rachel said on the other end, "What's up?"
"Not much." Ross replied, laying back on his bed, "We just finished dinner, Monica's doing the dishes. The guys and I went to look for Joey's Mom's birthday present...we couldn't find anything. And I had a trig test today...that's about it. How's Houston?"
Rachel sighed, "Awful. Amy found out Mom and her lawyer are dating, we had to spend an awful lunch with my Aunt, who wouldn't shut up. And now the lawyer and his kids are here for dinner....I decided to just stay in my room until it's all over."
"We really miss you." Ross said gently, sighing, "I wish you could come home tonight."
"You and me both." Rachel said her voice bitter as she continued, "Well, Mom's fussing for Amy and me to go downstairs, I'll talk to you later."
"Hang in there....I'll talk to you tomorrow."
They hung up and Rachel slammed her Algebra book shut, throwing her pencil on the floor where she was laying and standing, giving herself a nasty look in the mirror. She really hadn't planned on going downstairs and visiting, her hair and clothes were a mess. Slipping on a different shirt and quickly running a brush through her hair, she walked heavily down the hall, bumping into Amy who had the same mean look on her face.
"I hate her. I hate this all." Amy hissed, stomping down the stairs, "This sucks."
"Who the hell does he think he is anyway? Daddy just died, he's stepping in a little too soon." Rachel hissed back, the scowl still on her face as she walked into the family room where her mother and guest were waiting.
"Gregory, this is Rachel, and you remember Amy, right?" Sandra said politely, "Girls?"
"I remember." Amy sighed, while Rachel just stared at him, the dislike evident in her face.
"Amy, Rachel, these are my children, Casey and Jamie." Gregory said, motioning to his son and daughter, "Maybe the four of you could run along and play."
"8 year olds play." Amy snapped, turning and stomping up the stairs, her bedroom door shutting seconds later.
Rachel stared at the 4 people in front of her, unsure of what her reaction should be. Remaining silent, she gave an apologetic smile to her mother and fled in her sister's path, resuming her position in front of her Algebra book, laying on her stomach with her legs bent at the knees, kicking slowly in the air.
After a few minutes passed, there was a soft knock on her door. Muttered an expletive softly, Rachel stood and opened the door, revealing Gregory's daughter, Jamie.
"Yes?" Rachel asked, her arms crossed.
Jamie looked down, as uncomfortable as Rachel was, "Your Mom said I could come up and hang out with you or something."
Rachel shrugged, letting Jamie in, "I'm just doing homework, I don't really have anything fun to do, I don't live here."
"I know." Jamie replied, sitting on Rachel's bed, "Your Mom told me."
"Okay." Rachel said, going back to her homework and doing her best to ignore the other girl.
"What grade are you in?"
"9th." Rachel said with an irritated sigh, hoping Jamie would get the hint.
"I'm in 9th too." Jamie said, "Are you in any clubs? I do gymnastics. I won the state finals last year."
"That's nice." Rachel muttered, "I'm really trying to concentrate."
"Are you doing Algebra? I tested out of freshman algebra at my school, I'm taking Geometry."
"Good for you." Rachel snapped, looking pointedly at Jamie, "Why don't you go bother Amy for a bit? Just because you can test out of a stupid math class doesn't mean I don't have to study for mine."
Jamie looked down tearfully, "I was just trying to make conversation."
Rachel almost apologized for being rude, she normally would, but at this point she really didn't care. Staring at Jamie and hoping to make her uncomfortable, Rachel realized how angry she was.
Since she arrived, she knew she was unhappy, but she never realized how mad she was at her Mom, her life, her Mom's life...everything about this awful place. When she saw Jamie wasn't leaving, she scooped up her book and notebook, walking into Amy's room and tossing it on her bed, "Can I do my homework in here?"
"Sure." Amy replied, glaring at the girl who followed her sister, "Go away, we didn't invite you."
Jamie turned around and fled downstairs, undoubtedly going to tell her Dad on the Greene girls.
"I can't stand her." Rachel sighed, tapping her pencil on the book, "Think we can get out of here tomorrow?"
Amy shrugged, "It just depends on if we can piss off Mom enough to send us back."
"After tonight, that shouldn't be a problem." Rachel said with a sly smile, "Think we could make her ship us back?"
Meeting her sister's gaze with a mischievous one of her own, Amy nodded, "That doesn't sound like a bad plan."
~*~
The table was silent as Sandra and Gregory passed the food around, everyone uncomfortable. Jamie and Casey each took a small piece of chicken, looking down the entire time. Sandra was angrily eyeing her own girls, silently conveying that she was not pleased by the turn of events.
Gregory just watched the scene with dread, knowing that in order for he and Sandra to work, he'd have to get Rachel and Amy on his side.
"Amy, are you trying to look like a pig?" Sandra commented as Amy took another spoonful of potatoes, "It seems like you're putting on a few pounds as it is."
"No she's not." Rachel said in defense of her sister, the only one in this house that was remotely on her side. "What do you know anyway?"
"I know that a certain little girl needs to keep her mouth shut before she's sent to her room without dinner." Sandra replied calmly, taking a roll from the basket, "This doesn't concern you."
"Leave her alone." Amy said quickly, slamming her fork down, "Why are you being such a bitch tonight?"
"Both of you are about to be put to your rooms." Sandra said, only a tiny hint of anger audible, her eyes actually showing the girls how angry she was.
Rachel opened her mouth to make a comment, but Amy beat her to it, "Or what? You're going to shoot us?" she turned to Gregory, "I really hope you know what you're getting yourself into."
"Go to your room!" Sandra yelled, slamming her fist on the table, "And apologize to everyone at this table for being so rude."
Amy stood up, knocking over her chair and throwing her napkin on the table, "Go to hell." She stormed out of the room, her angry footsteps echoing as she went up the staircase.
Sandra crossed her arms, "I suppose you're planning on making a statement as well?" She asked Rachel pointedly, "Or do you plan on just going to your room and saving us the earful?"
"You're just great at sending people away." Rachel said softly, staring at her mother without even a blink, "But I can't go to my room, my room's in New York." She looked down at her plate, standing up, "I think I'll just go get a sandwich and go upstairs."
Sandra shook her head, "Eat what's on the table or don't eat at all."
"That's fine too." Rachel hissed, storming upstairs and letting her bedroom door shut as well.
"I think we better just go." Gregory said apologetically, standing and motioning for his two children to follow, "It's clear you guys still have some issues."
"Amy's just in a bad mood and Rachel's crazy." Sandra replied, "You don't have to leave, really. They'll stay in their rooms for the rest of the night, they won't bother us."
"I think it's better to do this another night." Gregory whispered, kissing Sandra's cheek, "I'll give you a call."
Gregory, Casey, and Jamie left, and Sandra stormed up the stairs, banging on both Rachel and Amy's doors, "We need to talk, NOW."
Amy opened her door, "There's nothing to talk about. We're not going to like him, and it doesn't matter anyway, we're leaving."
"Not for several more days." Sandra hissed, "I've tried to be sensitive to your feelings, but I'm through with that! You are both being unreasonable and I won't tolerate it." She looked at Rachel's door, "And since your sister is being too much of a brat to even listen to me!" she said loudly, "I'll have this talk with her later, when I'm much angrier!"
"She doesn't care." Amy informed Sandra, "I know you don't want to hear that, but she just doesn't. Grandmother is her Mom now, and Grandmother isn't a heinous bitch."
Sandra's hand rose, and Amy grabbed it, "It starts with a slap doesn't it? Then you throw some stuff around, get a little more angry...then you lose control and start punching and pulling hair, making threats. And you know what happens next? Problem solved, person gone."
"You can't make me feel any more guilty than I already feel." Sandra said coldly, "No matter how hard you try, it won't change how you feel, it won't change how I feel, and it won't change what happened. I'd advise you to just stop before you make a bad situation worse."
~*~
Rachel sat on her floor, schoolbooks surrounding her, all abandoned thoughts as Rachel stared at her wall, her mind drifting as far away from school as possible. Her heart was pounding in her ears, anger and hurt consuming her entire body.
How dare her mother expect them to make nice with her new boyfriend? And his kids? His perfect replacement kids. They were quiet, subdued, smart...everything Sandra had always complained about with Rachel and her sisters. It wouldn't be too long before Amy and Rachel were faded memories, gone from Texas, gone from her life, gone from her thoughts. Just like their father. Just like she had always been.
She heard Amy and her mother yelling in the hallway, but she chose to tune them out. She didn't want to be brought into it, she didn't want to be more hurt and angry than she already was. She didn't want to hate her mother, but they were quickly getting to that point.
She took out her old pocketknife, tempted to rely on that cold steel blade to fix her problems, but deciding that would be too easy on her mother. That's what Sandra wanted, right? Her annoying, less-than-perfect, not-too- smart middle child to be out of the picture? Besides, she couldn't do that to Ross, it would break his heart. And she had promised Phoebe she wouldn't. She may do a lot of things she wasn't proud of, but breaking promises wasn't one of those things.
She opened her duffel bag, taking out a bag of cookies and eating a few, starting to do her homework once again. She knew if she could take her mind off of this mess, she could keep herself from going insane. And furthermore, she knew if she didn't study her butt off, she'd fail 9th grade from being too far behind. Missing school was one sure way to flunk out of high school.
45 graphing equations later, the bag of cookies was gone and Rachel was moving on to writing her essay on "Romeo and Juliet", a bag of miniature chocolates keeping her eyes awake and focused on the task at hand.
The sounds of Amy and Sandra fighting eventually faded away into the back of Rachel's mind, and time quickly passed as she got more and more involved in her now 10-page long essay. When she finally finished, the house was silent, the clock reading 2:13 am. Her notebook was easily a quarter filled with her long essay, which just needed to be brought to the library and typed out.
Rolling her eyes, she grabbed her notebook, making her way downstairs and into her Dad's office, turning on his computer. She could just as easily work on her paper here. As she waited for the computer to boot, she sleepily walked into the kitchen, grabbing a soda and a few brownies from the box in the pantry.
Sitting behind the computer, she began to type, finally finishing her paper after nearly an hour of steady work. She printed it out, reading over it once more and turning his computer off. She looked around the room sadly, her heart aching as she thought about how much her father used to love to sit behind his large oak desk, resting in his high-backed leather chair and smoking a cigarette, attending to any work that needed to be done while sipping on a scotch and water. Bills were still arranged neatly on his desk, his tie draped over a chair in the corner.
She picked up a framed picture from the corner of his desk, taken of the two of them when she was about 9 or 10 years old. Slipping that in her backpack with her report, she walked towards the door. She stopped again, taking his suede jacket and his brown tie from the chair, carrying them upstairs with her, a sad smile on her face. She assumed it would be okay to take a few of her father's things, after all, if she didn't, Gregory may just step in and assume her father's role.
She opened the door to her bedroom, groaning when she saw the mess she had made while doing several hours of homework. Putting her Biology, Algebra, English, and History books in her backpack, she noticed all of the junk food wrappers cluttering her floor. She scooped them up, dumping them in the trashcan and sighing as she sat on her bed.
She bit her lip, making a quick decision. She crept into the bathroom downstairs, making sure she was far away from her mother and sister and knelt on the floor, shutting her eyes tightly as dread filled her body. She wasn't sure she could bring herself to do this again, it was absolute torture to force herself to do something which would bring such nasty consequences.
But on the other hand, she knew that if she didn't, the next time they sat around a table, her mother would be calling her the pig, and when she returned home, Ross would leave her for a prettier girl. Her mind also flashed to Jamie, Gregory's petite gymnast daughter who couldn't weigh more than 95 pounds. No wonder she was able to flip all over the place, there was nothing holding her down.
Pinching her stomach, Rachel shook her head. She had to do this. She shoved her finger down her throat, shuddering and coughing, but unable to do it long enough to throw up. Sighing, she stood and rummaged through the cabinets until she found a first aid kit. Lifting the lid, she immediately found the bottle of ipecac in the box. Knowing that was what her mother used to make Jill throw up that one time her little sister took a bottle of vitamins on accident, Rachel flipped the bottle over, reading the directions.
Not wanting to wait 20 minutes for it to work, Rachel took double the dose, figuring that it would work in half the time. She quickly drank the liquid, making a face as it went down. That stuff was definitely not pleasant tasting. She thought about returning to her room and waiting for the sick feeling to overpower her, but as she walked down the hall, she changed her mind.
Deciding that she was going to be sick anyway, she grabbed a bag of chips, eating as much as she could shove into her mouth, feeling a little less guilty about taking the medicine over a few cookies. She finished the bag before she knew it, and hid it at the bottom of the trash can, deciding that if she was going to puke anyway, she may as well eat all of the stuff she normally wouldn't touch too much of. Within the next 5 minutes, she had eaten several bowls of chocolate cereals, another half a bag of potato chips, and another soda.
She walked upstairs, heading for her room and laying down on her bed, wondering what exactly would happen once that medicine took effect. After all, the only time she remembered it being used was when Jill was a baby, and that had been several years past. Her stomach cramped slightly, and she decided it may be better to go back downstairs. She took a sip of water from the kitchen sink, and was suddenly hit with nausea.
She made it to the bathroom just in time before she threw up, hardly able to breathe as her body went through several spasms. She knelt on the floor for nearly an hour before she felt like she would be able to get up and make it upstairs without vomiting again.
She collapsed on her bed, curling up with her comforter and wiping a few tears from her eyes. She had never felt so awful in her entire life. Even swallowing saliva was making her gag. After half an hour of trying to calm her body down, she fell into a fitful sleep.
~*~
Rachel spent the next few days in a tailspin, her days spent moping and fighting with her mother, her nights spent eating, going through her dad's things and picking out items that she had fond memories of, hiding them in her bags, and doing her nightly ritual of throwing up all of the crap she put into her body. She was usually so worn out that she slept half the day away, which proved good for keeping the fighting to a minimum.
It was their last night in Houston, and Sandra was attempting to give Amy and Rachel another chance to bond with Gregory and his kids. Needless to say, that idea didn't go over too well with Rachel or Amy, so most of the afternoon was spent with the girls insisting they were not going to be a part of it, and Sandra insisting they be social and polite.
When 5 pm came along, Sandra had convinced the girls to say a nice "hello" and excuse themselves to pack for their trip to New York. They were to stay quiet and clear of Jamie, Casey, and Gregory until dinner was ready, and then they promised to behave during the meal, excusing themselves again afterwards.
Downstairs, Rachel could hear her mother and Gregory talking and laughing, and she pulled her pillow over her head to block it out. This was crazy, there was no reason her mother should be laughing. She was going to go to jail forever! This was totally insane.
She wanted to call Ross, she hadn't talked to him since early that morning, but he had already told her he was going bowling with the rest of the group. How she wished she was there! And then again....she would miss the comforting late night pattern she had fallen into. There was no way to continue that in New York! She shrugged the sorrow off, it wasn't as if she couldn't live without it, she wouldn't need comforting once she was back home.
Sandra called up to them that dinner was ready, and Rachel rolled out of bed, forcing herself to be somewhat cheerful as she descended the stairs. It was the least she could do for her mother....after all, Sandra gave them each 200 dollars if they'd behave. Neither she nor Amy could argue with that.
They sat at the table, the tension still there. As they served themselves, Amy took extra of everything, just to see if her mother would make a comment. Sandra didn't, and Amy passed the dishes down to Rachel, who took just as much, lately eating until she was certain she was going to bust from fullness.
The dinner went smoothly, and the night was the same as all of the others. Morning came before they knew it, and Sandra was driving them back to the airport, all silent. Not a word was spoken of goodbyes, the girls boarded their plane, not even giving Sandra a second look.
"What are you going to do when we get back?" Amy asked Rachel, who was pulling her CD player from her backpack, along with her History book.
Rachel shrugged, "Probably go over to Ross and Monica's. You?"
"I don't know." Amy replied, "I'm so glad to be gone, I may just enjoy being alone without anyone nagging me again."
Rachel smiled, watching the ground get smaller as the plane took off into the sky, "I just can't wait to get back to normal."
"When is anything ever normal with us?" Amy asked with a smirk, "Why do you always have a book in front of your face?"
"So I can get better grades and get a scholarship to a college thousands of miles away." Rachel replied softly, "And because it passes the time."
"Do you ever think about trying to kill yourself again?" Amy asked after being quiet for a few minutes, "I mean, do you ever feel that low sometimes?"
Rachel shrugged, "Sometimes, why?"
"I was just wondering...." Amy said quietly, "You always seem so quiet and depressed....I just wanted to know if that was how you really felt or if it was just the way you seem."
Rachel shrugged again, "I don't know. That's just the way I feel sometimes."
"The other night you said that we all forgot you when you left. That's not true. Daddy missed you a lot, so did Mom. They were going to bring you back after a few months in New York, but they were afraid you didn't want to come back." Amy admitted, "Daddy held you up on a pedestal, even after all of that. Jill and I hated you for that."
Rachel looked at Amy, her head tilted to the side, "I didn't know that. I'm sorry."
"I just wanted to let you know that we didn't forget you."
"I think I knew that."
The rest of the ride was in silence.
~*~
Later that night, Rachel was curled up on the sofa with Ross, a bowl of popcorn between them, Monica and Chandler laying on the floor nearby, just waiting for Joey and Phoebe to show up before they turned on a movie.
It had taken Rachel nearly half an hour to convince her grandmother to let her go out after dark on a school night and to spend the night there. She still wasn't sure why her grandmother relented, although she had a feeling Amy had a hand in it.
She had been so happy to see her friends again, she could have cried with joy. It was such a relief to be back in her "normal" life, away from the haunting memories and emotions that bombarded her the entire time she was in Houston.
Joey and Phoebe rushed in, both out of breath and wheezing. Chandler looked at them curiously, "What's up?"
"I win!" Phoebe exclaimed, falling into a chair, "I told Joey I could outrun him, and we raced from the train here, and I totally beat him."
"By like two seconds." Joey said, rolling his eyes, "I want a rematch."
Phoebe smiled, slapping his butt gently as she stood, walking over to Rachel and giving her a quick hug, "We missed you, how was your trip?"
"Awful." Rachel replied with a shrug, "What could I expect, you know? My Mom's got a boyfriend and his kids are perfect. She just can't wait to replace me and my sisters."
"Did you get a chance to bond or whatever she wanted to do?" Joey asked, rolling his eyes again.
Rachel shook her head, "Not really....well, at first we did a bit, but after that, it was just fighting. Tons and tons of fighting."
"We're going to order a pizza." Monica said, changing the subject and hoping to get her friend's spirits lifted, "Pepperoni's good?"
Everyone agreed, and Monica went to the phone. Rachel stood to go to the bathroom, and Phoebe followed.
"I know what you're doing, and it's just not going to work...." Phoebe said with a frown.
***TBC.....***
Katie
Part 7:
Rachel sat in a park not too far away from her mother's house, sitting on a swing and gently pushing herself back and forward. The small neighborhood park was empty, most of the area kids were in school or day care, the park would undoubtedly be full by the late afternoon...it was amazing how much of the little things she remembered from her past.
Wiping away a few tears, she looked around the small playground, smiling as she remembered the days when her Mom or Dad would bring her, Jill, and Amy down to play. They'd spend hours running around and trying out every single toy until they found the one they liked the most. Jill would be running up the steps to the jungle gym and sliding down the slide, repeatedly until worn out, then she'd wander over to the benches and lay down for a nap, sometimes just watching her sisters play. Amy would spend the majority of her time on the swings, pretending like she could fly, and Rachel's favorite thing to do was be pushed on the tire swing. She'd beg whichever parent accompanied them to push her faster, seeing how fast she could spin.
The wind whipped through her light sweater and she wished she had brought a jacket. It was in the mid 70s outside, but the wind was picking up, it would probably rain later that afternoon. It was perfect for her mood, the overcast skies and the light drizzle that came down every so often. It was like the world was crying with her.
Dragging her feet in the sand, she pulled her sweater tighter, taking a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh. If she was in New York, she'd just be getting off of school, and she'd be rushing home to get her assignments completed so she could have the afternoon to sit around and do nothing.
In fact, she had brought her books with her, and the more she thought of it, the better a day of Biology sounded to her. Anything to keep her mind off of this awful situation they were in.
It was true. Her mother was dating her lawyer, Gregory....not Greg, but Gregory. They were pretty close....the reason Amy even found out was because he had left some of his things over. Gregory had a son and a daughter, 11 and 14 respectively. And they were all coming over for dinner...how fun would that be?
Rachel scowled at the thought of those people in her home. Well, it wasn't her home now, but her father hadn't passed that long ago, it definitely wasn't time yet for her mother to be sleeping with someone else. And she definitely didn't want to meet his bratty kids. That would only make her miss her own friends more.
Her mother promised it would be fun, but Rachel found that very hard to believe. She didn't know this man at all, or his kids...she barely knew her own mother! Kicking a foot full of sand into the air angrily, she let out a strangled scream. It was past time to go home already, and it was only her second day. Could this trip get any worse?
A voice behind her brought her from her bitter thoughts, "We're going to the Soup Shop for lunch, want to come?" Amy said gently, "Aunt Faye and Uncle John are taking us. Mom's with her attorney."
"He's letting her see his briefs?" Rachel asked with a smirk, "Am I the only one who finds that arrangement crazy?"
Amy shook her head, "No, I think it's insane too. Not to mention disgusting. I've met her lawyer, he's not too easy on the eyes."
"But he's rich." Rachel said dryly, swinging herself up into the air a bit, "And you know she cares about money."
Amy shrugged, "She wants to keep her house, I guess."
"I think I'll pass on lunch, I'm not that hungry." Rachel said gloomily. "I don't feel like visiting anyway."
Amy put her hands on her hips, "You haven't eaten since the day before yesterday, get your butt out of that swing and come with us. I don't think Aunt Faye and Uncle John really expect us to visit much."
"Whatever." Rachel mumbled, following her sister, her face in a frown as she drug her feet in the sand. "I hate this."
"Oh really?" Amy asked sarcastically, "I hadn't noticed."
~*~
Laying on his bed, Ross stared at the ceiling, his body exhausted. He had spent the entire day thinking of ways to keep busy without thinking of Rachel...of course, it was impossible not to think of her, so he really just ended up wearing himself out and still feeling the empty hole in his chest.
It was time for her to come back, he couldn't take another day without her. Looking at his calendar, he knew it wasn't as simple as that. He just hoped her mother didn't screw with her head anymore while she was there.
The phone rang and he jumped to answer it, "Hello?"
"Hey, it's me." Rachel said on the other end, "What's up?"
"Not much." Ross replied, laying back on his bed, "We just finished dinner, Monica's doing the dishes. The guys and I went to look for Joey's Mom's birthday present...we couldn't find anything. And I had a trig test today...that's about it. How's Houston?"
Rachel sighed, "Awful. Amy found out Mom and her lawyer are dating, we had to spend an awful lunch with my Aunt, who wouldn't shut up. And now the lawyer and his kids are here for dinner....I decided to just stay in my room until it's all over."
"We really miss you." Ross said gently, sighing, "I wish you could come home tonight."
"You and me both." Rachel said her voice bitter as she continued, "Well, Mom's fussing for Amy and me to go downstairs, I'll talk to you later."
"Hang in there....I'll talk to you tomorrow."
They hung up and Rachel slammed her Algebra book shut, throwing her pencil on the floor where she was laying and standing, giving herself a nasty look in the mirror. She really hadn't planned on going downstairs and visiting, her hair and clothes were a mess. Slipping on a different shirt and quickly running a brush through her hair, she walked heavily down the hall, bumping into Amy who had the same mean look on her face.
"I hate her. I hate this all." Amy hissed, stomping down the stairs, "This sucks."
"Who the hell does he think he is anyway? Daddy just died, he's stepping in a little too soon." Rachel hissed back, the scowl still on her face as she walked into the family room where her mother and guest were waiting.
"Gregory, this is Rachel, and you remember Amy, right?" Sandra said politely, "Girls?"
"I remember." Amy sighed, while Rachel just stared at him, the dislike evident in her face.
"Amy, Rachel, these are my children, Casey and Jamie." Gregory said, motioning to his son and daughter, "Maybe the four of you could run along and play."
"8 year olds play." Amy snapped, turning and stomping up the stairs, her bedroom door shutting seconds later.
Rachel stared at the 4 people in front of her, unsure of what her reaction should be. Remaining silent, she gave an apologetic smile to her mother and fled in her sister's path, resuming her position in front of her Algebra book, laying on her stomach with her legs bent at the knees, kicking slowly in the air.
After a few minutes passed, there was a soft knock on her door. Muttered an expletive softly, Rachel stood and opened the door, revealing Gregory's daughter, Jamie.
"Yes?" Rachel asked, her arms crossed.
Jamie looked down, as uncomfortable as Rachel was, "Your Mom said I could come up and hang out with you or something."
Rachel shrugged, letting Jamie in, "I'm just doing homework, I don't really have anything fun to do, I don't live here."
"I know." Jamie replied, sitting on Rachel's bed, "Your Mom told me."
"Okay." Rachel said, going back to her homework and doing her best to ignore the other girl.
"What grade are you in?"
"9th." Rachel said with an irritated sigh, hoping Jamie would get the hint.
"I'm in 9th too." Jamie said, "Are you in any clubs? I do gymnastics. I won the state finals last year."
"That's nice." Rachel muttered, "I'm really trying to concentrate."
"Are you doing Algebra? I tested out of freshman algebra at my school, I'm taking Geometry."
"Good for you." Rachel snapped, looking pointedly at Jamie, "Why don't you go bother Amy for a bit? Just because you can test out of a stupid math class doesn't mean I don't have to study for mine."
Jamie looked down tearfully, "I was just trying to make conversation."
Rachel almost apologized for being rude, she normally would, but at this point she really didn't care. Staring at Jamie and hoping to make her uncomfortable, Rachel realized how angry she was.
Since she arrived, she knew she was unhappy, but she never realized how mad she was at her Mom, her life, her Mom's life...everything about this awful place. When she saw Jamie wasn't leaving, she scooped up her book and notebook, walking into Amy's room and tossing it on her bed, "Can I do my homework in here?"
"Sure." Amy replied, glaring at the girl who followed her sister, "Go away, we didn't invite you."
Jamie turned around and fled downstairs, undoubtedly going to tell her Dad on the Greene girls.
"I can't stand her." Rachel sighed, tapping her pencil on the book, "Think we can get out of here tomorrow?"
Amy shrugged, "It just depends on if we can piss off Mom enough to send us back."
"After tonight, that shouldn't be a problem." Rachel said with a sly smile, "Think we could make her ship us back?"
Meeting her sister's gaze with a mischievous one of her own, Amy nodded, "That doesn't sound like a bad plan."
~*~
The table was silent as Sandra and Gregory passed the food around, everyone uncomfortable. Jamie and Casey each took a small piece of chicken, looking down the entire time. Sandra was angrily eyeing her own girls, silently conveying that she was not pleased by the turn of events.
Gregory just watched the scene with dread, knowing that in order for he and Sandra to work, he'd have to get Rachel and Amy on his side.
"Amy, are you trying to look like a pig?" Sandra commented as Amy took another spoonful of potatoes, "It seems like you're putting on a few pounds as it is."
"No she's not." Rachel said in defense of her sister, the only one in this house that was remotely on her side. "What do you know anyway?"
"I know that a certain little girl needs to keep her mouth shut before she's sent to her room without dinner." Sandra replied calmly, taking a roll from the basket, "This doesn't concern you."
"Leave her alone." Amy said quickly, slamming her fork down, "Why are you being such a bitch tonight?"
"Both of you are about to be put to your rooms." Sandra said, only a tiny hint of anger audible, her eyes actually showing the girls how angry she was.
Rachel opened her mouth to make a comment, but Amy beat her to it, "Or what? You're going to shoot us?" she turned to Gregory, "I really hope you know what you're getting yourself into."
"Go to your room!" Sandra yelled, slamming her fist on the table, "And apologize to everyone at this table for being so rude."
Amy stood up, knocking over her chair and throwing her napkin on the table, "Go to hell." She stormed out of the room, her angry footsteps echoing as she went up the staircase.
Sandra crossed her arms, "I suppose you're planning on making a statement as well?" She asked Rachel pointedly, "Or do you plan on just going to your room and saving us the earful?"
"You're just great at sending people away." Rachel said softly, staring at her mother without even a blink, "But I can't go to my room, my room's in New York." She looked down at her plate, standing up, "I think I'll just go get a sandwich and go upstairs."
Sandra shook her head, "Eat what's on the table or don't eat at all."
"That's fine too." Rachel hissed, storming upstairs and letting her bedroom door shut as well.
"I think we better just go." Gregory said apologetically, standing and motioning for his two children to follow, "It's clear you guys still have some issues."
"Amy's just in a bad mood and Rachel's crazy." Sandra replied, "You don't have to leave, really. They'll stay in their rooms for the rest of the night, they won't bother us."
"I think it's better to do this another night." Gregory whispered, kissing Sandra's cheek, "I'll give you a call."
Gregory, Casey, and Jamie left, and Sandra stormed up the stairs, banging on both Rachel and Amy's doors, "We need to talk, NOW."
Amy opened her door, "There's nothing to talk about. We're not going to like him, and it doesn't matter anyway, we're leaving."
"Not for several more days." Sandra hissed, "I've tried to be sensitive to your feelings, but I'm through with that! You are both being unreasonable and I won't tolerate it." She looked at Rachel's door, "And since your sister is being too much of a brat to even listen to me!" she said loudly, "I'll have this talk with her later, when I'm much angrier!"
"She doesn't care." Amy informed Sandra, "I know you don't want to hear that, but she just doesn't. Grandmother is her Mom now, and Grandmother isn't a heinous bitch."
Sandra's hand rose, and Amy grabbed it, "It starts with a slap doesn't it? Then you throw some stuff around, get a little more angry...then you lose control and start punching and pulling hair, making threats. And you know what happens next? Problem solved, person gone."
"You can't make me feel any more guilty than I already feel." Sandra said coldly, "No matter how hard you try, it won't change how you feel, it won't change how I feel, and it won't change what happened. I'd advise you to just stop before you make a bad situation worse."
~*~
Rachel sat on her floor, schoolbooks surrounding her, all abandoned thoughts as Rachel stared at her wall, her mind drifting as far away from school as possible. Her heart was pounding in her ears, anger and hurt consuming her entire body.
How dare her mother expect them to make nice with her new boyfriend? And his kids? His perfect replacement kids. They were quiet, subdued, smart...everything Sandra had always complained about with Rachel and her sisters. It wouldn't be too long before Amy and Rachel were faded memories, gone from Texas, gone from her life, gone from her thoughts. Just like their father. Just like she had always been.
She heard Amy and her mother yelling in the hallway, but she chose to tune them out. She didn't want to be brought into it, she didn't want to be more hurt and angry than she already was. She didn't want to hate her mother, but they were quickly getting to that point.
She took out her old pocketknife, tempted to rely on that cold steel blade to fix her problems, but deciding that would be too easy on her mother. That's what Sandra wanted, right? Her annoying, less-than-perfect, not-too- smart middle child to be out of the picture? Besides, she couldn't do that to Ross, it would break his heart. And she had promised Phoebe she wouldn't. She may do a lot of things she wasn't proud of, but breaking promises wasn't one of those things.
She opened her duffel bag, taking out a bag of cookies and eating a few, starting to do her homework once again. She knew if she could take her mind off of this mess, she could keep herself from going insane. And furthermore, she knew if she didn't study her butt off, she'd fail 9th grade from being too far behind. Missing school was one sure way to flunk out of high school.
45 graphing equations later, the bag of cookies was gone and Rachel was moving on to writing her essay on "Romeo and Juliet", a bag of miniature chocolates keeping her eyes awake and focused on the task at hand.
The sounds of Amy and Sandra fighting eventually faded away into the back of Rachel's mind, and time quickly passed as she got more and more involved in her now 10-page long essay. When she finally finished, the house was silent, the clock reading 2:13 am. Her notebook was easily a quarter filled with her long essay, which just needed to be brought to the library and typed out.
Rolling her eyes, she grabbed her notebook, making her way downstairs and into her Dad's office, turning on his computer. She could just as easily work on her paper here. As she waited for the computer to boot, she sleepily walked into the kitchen, grabbing a soda and a few brownies from the box in the pantry.
Sitting behind the computer, she began to type, finally finishing her paper after nearly an hour of steady work. She printed it out, reading over it once more and turning his computer off. She looked around the room sadly, her heart aching as she thought about how much her father used to love to sit behind his large oak desk, resting in his high-backed leather chair and smoking a cigarette, attending to any work that needed to be done while sipping on a scotch and water. Bills were still arranged neatly on his desk, his tie draped over a chair in the corner.
She picked up a framed picture from the corner of his desk, taken of the two of them when she was about 9 or 10 years old. Slipping that in her backpack with her report, she walked towards the door. She stopped again, taking his suede jacket and his brown tie from the chair, carrying them upstairs with her, a sad smile on her face. She assumed it would be okay to take a few of her father's things, after all, if she didn't, Gregory may just step in and assume her father's role.
She opened the door to her bedroom, groaning when she saw the mess she had made while doing several hours of homework. Putting her Biology, Algebra, English, and History books in her backpack, she noticed all of the junk food wrappers cluttering her floor. She scooped them up, dumping them in the trashcan and sighing as she sat on her bed.
She bit her lip, making a quick decision. She crept into the bathroom downstairs, making sure she was far away from her mother and sister and knelt on the floor, shutting her eyes tightly as dread filled her body. She wasn't sure she could bring herself to do this again, it was absolute torture to force herself to do something which would bring such nasty consequences.
But on the other hand, she knew that if she didn't, the next time they sat around a table, her mother would be calling her the pig, and when she returned home, Ross would leave her for a prettier girl. Her mind also flashed to Jamie, Gregory's petite gymnast daughter who couldn't weigh more than 95 pounds. No wonder she was able to flip all over the place, there was nothing holding her down.
Pinching her stomach, Rachel shook her head. She had to do this. She shoved her finger down her throat, shuddering and coughing, but unable to do it long enough to throw up. Sighing, she stood and rummaged through the cabinets until she found a first aid kit. Lifting the lid, she immediately found the bottle of ipecac in the box. Knowing that was what her mother used to make Jill throw up that one time her little sister took a bottle of vitamins on accident, Rachel flipped the bottle over, reading the directions.
Not wanting to wait 20 minutes for it to work, Rachel took double the dose, figuring that it would work in half the time. She quickly drank the liquid, making a face as it went down. That stuff was definitely not pleasant tasting. She thought about returning to her room and waiting for the sick feeling to overpower her, but as she walked down the hall, she changed her mind.
Deciding that she was going to be sick anyway, she grabbed a bag of chips, eating as much as she could shove into her mouth, feeling a little less guilty about taking the medicine over a few cookies. She finished the bag before she knew it, and hid it at the bottom of the trash can, deciding that if she was going to puke anyway, she may as well eat all of the stuff she normally wouldn't touch too much of. Within the next 5 minutes, she had eaten several bowls of chocolate cereals, another half a bag of potato chips, and another soda.
She walked upstairs, heading for her room and laying down on her bed, wondering what exactly would happen once that medicine took effect. After all, the only time she remembered it being used was when Jill was a baby, and that had been several years past. Her stomach cramped slightly, and she decided it may be better to go back downstairs. She took a sip of water from the kitchen sink, and was suddenly hit with nausea.
She made it to the bathroom just in time before she threw up, hardly able to breathe as her body went through several spasms. She knelt on the floor for nearly an hour before she felt like she would be able to get up and make it upstairs without vomiting again.
She collapsed on her bed, curling up with her comforter and wiping a few tears from her eyes. She had never felt so awful in her entire life. Even swallowing saliva was making her gag. After half an hour of trying to calm her body down, she fell into a fitful sleep.
~*~
Rachel spent the next few days in a tailspin, her days spent moping and fighting with her mother, her nights spent eating, going through her dad's things and picking out items that she had fond memories of, hiding them in her bags, and doing her nightly ritual of throwing up all of the crap she put into her body. She was usually so worn out that she slept half the day away, which proved good for keeping the fighting to a minimum.
It was their last night in Houston, and Sandra was attempting to give Amy and Rachel another chance to bond with Gregory and his kids. Needless to say, that idea didn't go over too well with Rachel or Amy, so most of the afternoon was spent with the girls insisting they were not going to be a part of it, and Sandra insisting they be social and polite.
When 5 pm came along, Sandra had convinced the girls to say a nice "hello" and excuse themselves to pack for their trip to New York. They were to stay quiet and clear of Jamie, Casey, and Gregory until dinner was ready, and then they promised to behave during the meal, excusing themselves again afterwards.
Downstairs, Rachel could hear her mother and Gregory talking and laughing, and she pulled her pillow over her head to block it out. This was crazy, there was no reason her mother should be laughing. She was going to go to jail forever! This was totally insane.
She wanted to call Ross, she hadn't talked to him since early that morning, but he had already told her he was going bowling with the rest of the group. How she wished she was there! And then again....she would miss the comforting late night pattern she had fallen into. There was no way to continue that in New York! She shrugged the sorrow off, it wasn't as if she couldn't live without it, she wouldn't need comforting once she was back home.
Sandra called up to them that dinner was ready, and Rachel rolled out of bed, forcing herself to be somewhat cheerful as she descended the stairs. It was the least she could do for her mother....after all, Sandra gave them each 200 dollars if they'd behave. Neither she nor Amy could argue with that.
They sat at the table, the tension still there. As they served themselves, Amy took extra of everything, just to see if her mother would make a comment. Sandra didn't, and Amy passed the dishes down to Rachel, who took just as much, lately eating until she was certain she was going to bust from fullness.
The dinner went smoothly, and the night was the same as all of the others. Morning came before they knew it, and Sandra was driving them back to the airport, all silent. Not a word was spoken of goodbyes, the girls boarded their plane, not even giving Sandra a second look.
"What are you going to do when we get back?" Amy asked Rachel, who was pulling her CD player from her backpack, along with her History book.
Rachel shrugged, "Probably go over to Ross and Monica's. You?"
"I don't know." Amy replied, "I'm so glad to be gone, I may just enjoy being alone without anyone nagging me again."
Rachel smiled, watching the ground get smaller as the plane took off into the sky, "I just can't wait to get back to normal."
"When is anything ever normal with us?" Amy asked with a smirk, "Why do you always have a book in front of your face?"
"So I can get better grades and get a scholarship to a college thousands of miles away." Rachel replied softly, "And because it passes the time."
"Do you ever think about trying to kill yourself again?" Amy asked after being quiet for a few minutes, "I mean, do you ever feel that low sometimes?"
Rachel shrugged, "Sometimes, why?"
"I was just wondering...." Amy said quietly, "You always seem so quiet and depressed....I just wanted to know if that was how you really felt or if it was just the way you seem."
Rachel shrugged again, "I don't know. That's just the way I feel sometimes."
"The other night you said that we all forgot you when you left. That's not true. Daddy missed you a lot, so did Mom. They were going to bring you back after a few months in New York, but they were afraid you didn't want to come back." Amy admitted, "Daddy held you up on a pedestal, even after all of that. Jill and I hated you for that."
Rachel looked at Amy, her head tilted to the side, "I didn't know that. I'm sorry."
"I just wanted to let you know that we didn't forget you."
"I think I knew that."
The rest of the ride was in silence.
~*~
Later that night, Rachel was curled up on the sofa with Ross, a bowl of popcorn between them, Monica and Chandler laying on the floor nearby, just waiting for Joey and Phoebe to show up before they turned on a movie.
It had taken Rachel nearly half an hour to convince her grandmother to let her go out after dark on a school night and to spend the night there. She still wasn't sure why her grandmother relented, although she had a feeling Amy had a hand in it.
She had been so happy to see her friends again, she could have cried with joy. It was such a relief to be back in her "normal" life, away from the haunting memories and emotions that bombarded her the entire time she was in Houston.
Joey and Phoebe rushed in, both out of breath and wheezing. Chandler looked at them curiously, "What's up?"
"I win!" Phoebe exclaimed, falling into a chair, "I told Joey I could outrun him, and we raced from the train here, and I totally beat him."
"By like two seconds." Joey said, rolling his eyes, "I want a rematch."
Phoebe smiled, slapping his butt gently as she stood, walking over to Rachel and giving her a quick hug, "We missed you, how was your trip?"
"Awful." Rachel replied with a shrug, "What could I expect, you know? My Mom's got a boyfriend and his kids are perfect. She just can't wait to replace me and my sisters."
"Did you get a chance to bond or whatever she wanted to do?" Joey asked, rolling his eyes again.
Rachel shook her head, "Not really....well, at first we did a bit, but after that, it was just fighting. Tons and tons of fighting."
"We're going to order a pizza." Monica said, changing the subject and hoping to get her friend's spirits lifted, "Pepperoni's good?"
Everyone agreed, and Monica went to the phone. Rachel stood to go to the bathroom, and Phoebe followed.
"I know what you're doing, and it's just not going to work...." Phoebe said with a frown.
***TBC.....***