DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to offend anyone. I am only exercising my 1st amendment right to express my opinion about the recall election in California through a comedic, spoof entirely fictional story. I am not a resident of California and I do not know the feelings of its residents towards this event, however if they are/were in favor of it, then by all means it is their right as citizens of a democracy. I used the fictional characters of the movie Total Recall instead of the real people involved to meet FanFic's guidelines and with respect to those actually, non-fictionally involved. Use your imagination to replace the fictional characters with whoever you want.
TOTAL RECALL (of California)
The crowd begins gathering as spot lights cast a red glow upon the debate podium, where two figures stand ready for furious debating. The two stare each other down in glances of sheer dislike for one another. One a politician, the other a celebrity. Suddenly a reporter begins the debate by throwing a question. The celebrity is immediately perplexed by the complicated vocabulary of the question. Having been disoriented slips, and falls off the stage. He comes to rest on the ground and begins choking, followed by his eyes popping out he sockets as if he were on a planet with a less dense atmosphere, say Mars.
The lights in a bedroom go on and the celebrity is jolted out of his sound sleep, his wife is awakened by the commotion.
"Doug, what's wrong?", his wife asked him with concern.
"I had a bad dream.", he replied.
"About debating and loosing the election?", she asked.
He nodded.
"Poor baby", she hugged him.
"Were they there?", she asked with some jealousy in her voice.
"Who?" he he replied as if not know what she was talking about.
"You know the Brunette -s, -and...Blondes -and....Redheads, that claimed you...."
"Honey you can't be jealous of false accusations.", he cut in.
"Who are they?" she asked.
"Nobody....nobody at all."
"I'll give you something to dream about..." she put in a seductive voice.
Well if you saw the movie, you know what happens next so I won't even bother to write it, use your imagination, but I sure as hell don't want to envision it.
Next morning the celebrity was preparing to have breakfast as his wife came into the kitchen. He was watching the news as they sat down at they table. The news was reporting on illegal immigrants. It was showing a battle waged between illegal immigrants and California border troopers, until one trooper knocked the camera out of view.
"No wonder why you're always having those bad dreams you're always watching the news.", she commented.
"Honey, I'm going to do it.", he stated.
"Do What?"
"Run for governor of California."
She looked at him, then grabbed her forehead.
"Honey we've been through this, you can't even pronounce California."
"Com'on Cohagan no that is not a typo I don't want to get sued is unpopular, nobody likes him. I can do a better job." he put.
He kissed her good-bye and left for work. He went downstairs through his private security system and into his limo.
His driver turned to him.
"HI, I'm JOHNNY limo driver, destination please." he asked.
"What are you automated", the celebrity replied.
"No just on crack.", replied Johnny.
"Oh..ok to the studio then." the celebrity ordered.
He turned on the TV in his limo and began reading a script, when suddenly a commercial came on that caught his attention.
-ARE YOU AN AGING ACTOR? HAVE AN UNPOPULAR GOVERNOR? IS YOUR STATE GOING DOWN THE TUBE? THINK YOU CAN DO A BETTER JOB? THEN HAVE A RECALL ELECTION AND RUN ALONG WITH A HUNDRED OTHERS.-
A chorus jingle broke in.
FOR THE JOB OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFE TIME...........RECALL.......RECALL.......RECALL
"Hey that sounds like a good idea" he thought to himself.
TO BE CONTINUED.....if I didn't piss off alot of Californians.
TOTAL RECALL (of California)
The crowd begins gathering as spot lights cast a red glow upon the debate podium, where two figures stand ready for furious debating. The two stare each other down in glances of sheer dislike for one another. One a politician, the other a celebrity. Suddenly a reporter begins the debate by throwing a question. The celebrity is immediately perplexed by the complicated vocabulary of the question. Having been disoriented slips, and falls off the stage. He comes to rest on the ground and begins choking, followed by his eyes popping out he sockets as if he were on a planet with a less dense atmosphere, say Mars.
The lights in a bedroom go on and the celebrity is jolted out of his sound sleep, his wife is awakened by the commotion.
"Doug, what's wrong?", his wife asked him with concern.
"I had a bad dream.", he replied.
"About debating and loosing the election?", she asked.
He nodded.
"Poor baby", she hugged him.
"Were they there?", she asked with some jealousy in her voice.
"Who?" he he replied as if not know what she was talking about.
"You know the Brunette -s, -and...Blondes -and....Redheads, that claimed you...."
"Honey you can't be jealous of false accusations.", he cut in.
"Who are they?" she asked.
"Nobody....nobody at all."
"I'll give you something to dream about..." she put in a seductive voice.
Well if you saw the movie, you know what happens next so I won't even bother to write it, use your imagination, but I sure as hell don't want to envision it.
Next morning the celebrity was preparing to have breakfast as his wife came into the kitchen. He was watching the news as they sat down at they table. The news was reporting on illegal immigrants. It was showing a battle waged between illegal immigrants and California border troopers, until one trooper knocked the camera out of view.
"No wonder why you're always having those bad dreams you're always watching the news.", she commented.
"Honey, I'm going to do it.", he stated.
"Do What?"
"Run for governor of California."
She looked at him, then grabbed her forehead.
"Honey we've been through this, you can't even pronounce California."
"Com'on Cohagan no that is not a typo I don't want to get sued is unpopular, nobody likes him. I can do a better job." he put.
He kissed her good-bye and left for work. He went downstairs through his private security system and into his limo.
His driver turned to him.
"HI, I'm JOHNNY limo driver, destination please." he asked.
"What are you automated", the celebrity replied.
"No just on crack.", replied Johnny.
"Oh..ok to the studio then." the celebrity ordered.
He turned on the TV in his limo and began reading a script, when suddenly a commercial came on that caught his attention.
-ARE YOU AN AGING ACTOR? HAVE AN UNPOPULAR GOVERNOR? IS YOUR STATE GOING DOWN THE TUBE? THINK YOU CAN DO A BETTER JOB? THEN HAVE A RECALL ELECTION AND RUN ALONG WITH A HUNDRED OTHERS.-
A chorus jingle broke in.
FOR THE JOB OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFE TIME...........RECALL.......RECALL.......RECALL
"Hey that sounds like a good idea" he thought to himself.
TO BE CONTINUED.....if I didn't piss off alot of Californians.