"This is so weird," Claire said as they crossed their backyards. "It doesn't feel real. I feel like I'm going to just go back to my awful life tomorrow morning."
"We're going to try really hard to figure something out," Trent said.
"And I appreciate that, it's just...I feel really weird right now."
"I get that, I feel weird so often," Mae said. "Sometimes this all seems like a dream. Also, Trent, uh, will you not tell my mom and dad about last night? I don't want them freaking."
"All right," he replied.
"Thanks."
They got to the back door and knocked. As they waited, they heard giggling. Trent looked at Mae, who looked almost concerned. The door opened and Candy greeted them with a big smile on her face. "Mae! Trent! Donna! Sorry, Claire! Come in!"
"Hi, mom…" Mae murmured as they stepped into the kitchen. "You seem, uh, different...wait," Mae sniffed a few times, then her eyes bloomed in size and a huge smile came onto her face. "Holy shit, are you guys stoned!?"
"Shh, Mae!" Candy replied, shutting the back door, then giggled again.
"Oh no, don't tell anyone!" someone else said from the living room.
"Wait...Lucy?" Trent asked.
"Hi! Don't tell Lori, please?!"
"Grab some chairs, bring them in," Candy said. "And we can talk!"
"This is amazing," Mae whispered as they grabbed chairs from the kitchen and followed Candy into the living room, where they found Stan and Lori's stepmom sitting on the couch, and there was definitely the smell of weed on the air.
"Dad! Mom! I just...I can't believe this!" Mae cried.
Stan laughed. "Well...we weren't always old, Mae, and this is your fault."
"What?! Really!?"
"Yes...now, take it down some decibels, sweetheart," Candy said as she sat down on the couch and the three of them settled in their chairs.
"Sorry, it's just-this is unbelievable! I never thought I'd see you guys toking up!"
"It is four twenty…" Lucy murmured.
"Are you guys friends now!?" Mae demanded. "Are you mom friends?!"
Candy giggled again. "Yes, sweetheart. Lucy reached out to me at your suggestion, and so we've tried hanging out. It's been fun!"
"Yes, definitely fun," Lucy agreed. She looked at Trent and Mae beseechingly "I really mean it, though. Can you please not tell Lori about this? I know it's hypocritical, but-"
"What you do in your spare time, as long as it's not hurting anyone, is your business," Trent said.
"Yeah," Mae agreed.
"Oh...well, thank you. God, you all are so much more mature than I was at your age."
"That they are," Candy agreed.
"Where'd you get this weed?" Mae asked.
"Well, we reconnected with an old friend at some point, and we all used to, uh, toke up back in the day…"
"It's Jacob, isn't it?" Trent asked.
For the first time, Candy looked honestly surprised, and at a loss for words. He and Mae shared a laugh.
"It's okay, mom, we know," Mae said.
"Have you been smoking, Mae?!" Candy demanded.
"I knew I smelled some over there that one time," Stan murmured.
"Are you really gonna hit me with that, mom?" Mae asked. "With a blunt in your hand?"
Candy frowned, then sighed heavily and shook her head. "No, I'm not. I just...you're so young."
"I'm twenty one now!"
"And that is so young," Candy said. "But...it's your life, Mae. I just want you to be responsible. And...given who you're living with, you probably are being responsible." She took a deep breath, then let it out, seemed to center herself. "Okay, you said you wanted to help Claire. I'm sorry, we got off track. What's going on, exactly?"
"Maybe this isn't the best conversation to have stoned…" Claire murmured.
"Don't worry, Stan and I are here, present in the moment. Honestly, we haven't smoked that much. We're just a little toasty." Mae laughed softly, and then Candy started giggling, and so did Lucy. Candy cleared her throat, getting herself under control. "We're here. What's wrong, Claire?"
"Uh, well...my life has become intolerable. I hate my two jobs, I hate my apartment, I have no money for living my life, I'm depressed and angry all the time, and I see no way out of this situation," Claire replied.
"Oh. My," Candy murmured.
"Sorry to kill the mood," Claire said.
"No, it's okay. Mae has taught us to be...more truthful, more open. And we're trying to embrace that. I don't like not talking about things just because they're sad or awkward. And I understand depression and money troubles, dear."
"God, so do I," Lucy muttered. "You're describing something dangerously close to my life. So fucking glad I got out of that."
"How'd you get out?" Claire asked.
Lucy looked down, clearly uncomfortable. "I...got lucky. Too lucky. You could almost say I cheated my way out. I...met a man. Lori's father. This was a couple years ago. He's about ten years older than me, but he's so sweet and handsome and he had a decent job. We started dating, he pursued me, well, kind of aggressively, and I liked it. He proposed to me within six months and I said yes. It just felt right. Still does. I was still working, but knowing I could quit whenever I wanted and have some time off, like...it helped so much. And then our luck turned around. He got a promotion and a raise, and I won this stupid scratch-off ticket that I bought on a total whim. And...I just, sometimes I feel like a gold-digger, you know?"
"You love him, Lucy," Candy said. "That's obvious. You love him, and you love Lori, and you love Jessie, and they all love you. Those girls love you, and that man loves you. And I heard you talking on the phone with Lori earlier, you care about her, you're looking after her. You aren't a gold-digger."
"Yeah, Lori was really gushing about you awhile ago," Mae said.
"Really?" Lucy asked.
"Yeah. We ran into her back in March, right when she started filming Gasmask, and she was talking about how great you were, and how you were helping her get medication and therapy, and it's helping. Like, it's really helping. I first met her in August and she was pretty...anxious. She freaked out kind of easy. But when we met back up again in March, like, she was more able to handle it."
"That's so good to hear, I just want her to be happy and safe," Lucy murmured.
"That's how I know you're a good mother," Candy said.
"I'm not her mother, though…"
"Lucy, you're her mother. She calls you mom. You're her mother, okay?"
Lucy let out an awkward laugh, looking up at the ceiling. She reached up and brushed at her eyes. "Yeah, okay. I'm sorry, keep going, I got us all off track. Keep going."
"All right, so...how can we help, Claire? I want to help you," Candy asked.
"Well, um, oh man, this is actually really hard," she muttered. She looked at Trent for help.
He decided to press forward recklessly, like he did in most other conversations in his life now. "Claire wants to quit her jobs, give up her apartment, and move into Mae's old room until she gets back on her feet, sorts out her depression and stress problems, and figures her life out. We were hoping we could work out A, if you're okay with this happening and B, the specifics of it if you are."
"Oh, that would be wonderful!" Candy replied.
"I...really?" Claire asked.
"Yes! I'm so bad at empty-nesting! When Mae left for college, I was so lonely with just Stan and I here. I wanted other people around, but it just wasn't really happening. We were both working too much, or too tired from working. But then Mae came back, and she's encouraged us to find new friends and reconnect with old friends and it's been wonderful! I love having people around! And I think it'd be fun to have a roommate again, but a responsible and reasonable one," Candy replied.
"Dad, you aren't really saying anything, how do you feel about this?" Mae asked.
"Hmm? Oh. So long as you aren't loud, messy, or disrespectful, I'm onboard with this. I have to admit, it would be nice. It was good having you back in the house, kitten, and I love having the four of you pretty much in our backyard." He was staring at a joint that he'd lit at some point. Trent had to admit, it was a very surreal sight. But he also knew that way more people smoked weed every now and then than seemed likely. He took a pull on it suddenly, then set it down in an ashtray beside him. He leaned forward and focused on them.
"I used to think I wanted to just live with my family, but I also had this idea in the back of my head for a long time that you aren't really supposed to live with people who aren't your family. If you do, something's gone wrong, or it's weird, but I didn't really think much about it, about why. And I find myself missing living with roommates. Cool ones, obviously. I don't miss the loud music, the arguments, the dirty dishes, the bad stuff. But I do miss the good roommates, and just having people around, you know? I love living with your mom, obviously, and I missed having you around, but I didn't really realize how much I missed living with people coming and going fairly regularly until all of you moved into your house. So I'm okay with this. And I've always tried to help people, so if this will help you, Claire, then I'm even more okay with it."
"I think that's the most I've ever heard you say all at one time," Mae murmured.
Stan laughed. "Weed makes me talkative, I guess."
"Yes it does," Candy replied, then laughed.
"It makes mom giggly apparently," Mae said.
"Shush you," Candy said, then giggled and rolled her eyes.
"Okay, so...what about, like, rent? I have some money, and I think I'll have a little leftover after I pay the bills, but…"
"Well, it's late April right now," Candy said, "so, how about you move in whenever you feel ready to, and we see where we're all at in the beginning of June?"
"I'd be cool with that. Honestly, I'd love to move in, like, as soon as possible. If you're okay with it, I'd do it tomorrow. Although I'll need a truck…"
"Germ's dad has a truck," Trent said.
"You think he'd let us borrow it?"
"I'm fairly confident he would."
"Huh, I don't really know...Germ? I don't even know Germ. Who are we talking about?" Claire asked.
"The Wartons," Trent clarified. "His father is Jacob Warton, his, uh, legal name is Jeremy."
"Oh! Yeah, okay, I kinda know them."
"They'll help," Mae said. "Our two families are really close. We went through a lot together."
"Oh...wow, all right. Jeez, this feels so weird. Everyone's being so nice and offering to do all this stuff for me and for free. I'm gonna owe you guys a lot…"
"Claire," Trent said. "I...at one point, Germ's dad helped Mae and I do something incredibly dangerous that we can't talk about. But I told him I never knew how I was ever going to repay him, and he told me, some things go beyond debt. Some things you do because they're right. And personally, I think the best thing you can do when someone gives you an opportunity and does something good for you, is to use it as best you can, and to someday do the same thing for someone else."
"That's...a very good and humane idea," Claire replied after a long moment.
"God," Lucy whispered, "I don't know if I was just really immature or if you all are really mature or my perceptions are warped. I never had conversations like this when I was twenty. Also, sorry, don't let me interrupt again."
"You can move in tomorrow," Candy said. "If you want, I can make up the couch for you and you can sleep over. I'd offer you Mae's futon upstairs but she broke it."
"It was an accident!" Mae cried.
"I'm sure it was," Candy said.
"Oh no, thanks, I appreciate it, but I'm staying the night with Trent," Claire replied.
"Oh. You're...involved with Trent too?" Candy asked. Claire opened her mouth, then closed it, seemingly uncertain of what to say.
"No," she managed finally.
"Oh. Oops! Shut up, Candy," she whispered, putting a hand over her own mouth, then she started giggling.
Trent sighed softly and Mae started laughing.
"Wait, what am I missing here?" Lucy asked. "Involved? What do you mean?"
"Nothing," Candy replied.
"Obviously it means something."
"Oh, hey! I have a question and I'm sorry but also not sorry for interrupting this but I want to ask before I forget again-Lucy. Why did you want to talk to Trent and Bea the first time we met?" Mae asked.
"Oh, uh...you know, I just wanted to thank them, for helping make the movie," Lucy replied awkwardly.
"Yeah but I helped make it a lot, like it's dedicated to me," Mae replied.
"I know, I'm not saying-um, oh. Hmm. How do I say this?" she muttered.
"Ooh! Grownups only say that when there's something really interesting they want to say!" Mae said, leaning forward. "What is it? I want to hear."
Trent was trying to think of a way to derail the conversation even further, because ironically Mae was actually leading it back around to where it had been going in the first place, and he was amazed by how often this came up nowadays.
"Okay, okay," Lucy said, "I asked the two of them out there because I thought they were a couple and sort of the, um...heads of the household, I guess? So, uh...sorry. I was just confused, about who was dating who."
It was silent for a long moment in the living room. Then Candy let out a snort. Trent looked at her, and saw the most absurd expression of trying to hold in laughter that he'd ever seen on a middle-aged woman.
"I'm sorry," she managed, "this isn't funny. It's definitely not funny." Then she laughed.
"It's kinda funny," Mae said, giggling.
"Okay, what am I missing here?" Lucy asked. "I'm obviously missing something but I have no idea what it is."
"This is one of those things you're probably better off not knowing," Stan muttered.
"I always want to know," Lucy replied in a surprisingly stubborn tone of voice.
"No, no, it's...personal," Candy said. "And Trent and Mae have a right to their personal life and privacy."
Lucy let out a long sigh of frustration. "Yes, that's true, and I-wait. Wait. Was I right? Was I right about Trent and Bea?" she asked suddenly. Trent glanced at Mae, fully prepared to keep his mouth shut, but Mae was just grinning in a really obvious way. "I was!" Lucy cried.
"Mae, oh my fucking God, you have absolutely zero poker face," Trent groaned.
"I'm sorry! I can't help it!" Mae replied.
"This is one hundred percent not what I expected to happen when I came over here," Claire murmured.
"Wait, so you're in a polyamorous relationship? With Bea? I knew that kiss was real! Oh my goodness, I have questions," Lucy said.
Mae suddenly grew serious. "Okay, I'm willing to talk about my relationship, with permission from my partners, but I am not willing to talk about it in front of my mom and dad."
"Oh...yeah. Okay. That's-that'd be weird, yeah. Okay, shutting up," Lucy said. "Just-ignore me. I'm just," she grabbed a joint from out of the ashtray, "I'm just smoking a little weed and not saying anything."
"Now that that completely embarrassing conversation is out of the way," Trent said, "maybe Claire would like to see Mae's room?"
"Yes!" Candy said, shooting to her feet. "That sounds like a great idea. Come along!"