Around the World, Across the Stars
It was all good that Delenn and John had adopted G'Kem, but he still didn't know who his real parents were. The feeling of longing really surfaced when Susan made contact with her mother. One morning, he woke up with a driving urge to locate them, or at least find out who they were.
There were resources to find people. The most accessible, if not the most accurate, were the telepath family birth records put together after the war. If G'Kem knew anything about recent history it was that his telepathy most-likely came from his human half.
He arranged for a search of the records for any people who had a partial DNA match to his own. It was unlikely that his human parent was on record as it was only personal accounts of births. Still, he thought, he must have some cousins somewhere who could be tracked back to his human parent.
Getting the authorization to do this search took some doing. He was eager to use it as soon as he got it, but decided to do the search after he'd slept on the idea.
Each dream you dream has a different emotion to it. An emotion unique to that night which you never experience again after that day. But somehow G'Kem remembered this emotion. Long-lost memories now resurfaced. His search for his parents had pushed them forward.
Maybe he was three years old. Maybe four. He was still with the Vorlons at the time. He talked to the Vorlons, and they talked to him. And she talked to him, and she talked to the Vorlons. He was amazed that he remembered, but surprised he had forgotten so long. She was the one who had stood up to the Vorlons and demanded that they give him a name from his own heritage. Oh, she wasn't his mother, but still he was surprised that he had forgotten her for so long. If it wasn't for her brief visit with the Vorlons, he probably could never have adapted to life among his own kind so quickly. He remembered her with her red hair and solid black eyes.
Fortunately, it was a weekend. Even after G'Kem woke up, he stayed in bed with his eyes closed, not daring to get up and risk the dream fading. He wracked his memory for the woman's name. After two and a half hours, he gave up. He walked drowsily to the computer terminal and pushed the data crystal in. He linked his DNA pattern to the data bank.
There were more people than he had expected. A man on Earth, twins on Zion, a few references to archive articles and medical logs. One log caught his eye. It was a cross-reference to the personal log of Earthforce doctor Heather O'Day, dated May 17, 2264. He pulled it. It had once been encrypted, but it wasn't now. It was short, and meaningful only to a few people. G'Kem happened to be one of them.
Doctor Heather O'Day, Personal Log From the ship's computer, I found the telekinetic who ripped Captain Ivanova's spinal cord. Her name is Darya Freeman. I don't plan to tell Susan though. This is between me and me.
G'Kem could never have hated Heather O'Day more than at that moment. She had known all these years! She had never told Susan! How could she? He thought that they had been friends. If Susan ever found out she would probably kill O'Day before thinking of Darya Freeman.
"What's the reference to the match of the DNA sample in question?" G'Kem asked the computer.
"Darya Freeman."
"Locate all references to the name Darya Freeman."
One other reference appeared on the screen. It was the crew manifest from the rogue telepath ship Remarkable. There was a short background on Darya.
Name: Darya Freeman DOB: 7/24/29 POB: Atchison, Kansas, North American Consortium, Earth Gender: female Teep rating: low P8 Teek rating: high K12
Discovered at age 16. Brief period at Psi Corps, broke away in 2251. Joined telepath resistance in 2257.
G'Kem gasped when he read the very last part. "Spent six months on Narn. Is reported to have been with the Vorlons for at least four. This is doubtful and Darya may not be entirely trustworthy."
He read it again.
"What's the relationship between Darya Freeman and the DNA in question?" he finally managed.
"Parental."
He was more nervous than he ever was before. He was going to contact Darya Freeman. He had to. He nervously told the computer to contact her. He got an audio.
"Freeman. Who is this?"
"Um... My name's G'Kem. This isn't a prank call. Is it true that you were with the Vorlons a few months after being on Narn?"
The screen flashed on. G'Kem cringed slightly, thinking she might know what a Narn/human looked like.
She had gray hair which had most likely been blond at one time. Her eyes were hazel. He had thought that his human parent might have eyes about that color. Sometimes he had wondered if his own would have ended up purple if theirs were blue! But of course eye color was not paint.
No matter at the moment.
"What business do you have asking that?" she snapped.
"Well, it's just sort of that I'm half human and I was raised by Vorlons and-"
"Who are you?"
"Well, lets see, I don't really know. That's the problem. I've been trying to track down my biological parents and I was wondering..."
"Wait a minute. What year were you born?"
"About 2258."
"Geez, what's been out to get me lately?"
"Uh?"
"Are you sure this isn't a joke you're playing on me?" she asked.
"No joke. I swear."
"Dana Richard?"
It hit him hard. What did she mean?
"What?" he exclaimed.
"Sorry. If you are who I think you are, you wouldn't know anyway."
"Who do you think I am?" he asked, thinking that he knew the answer.
"Do you think I'm your mother?"
G'Kem nodded tentatively.
"Then I think you're my son, pardon me if I'm wrong."
"You'll get no objection from me Ms. Freeman."
"Why didn't you try to contact me?"
"I just did. Why didn't you?"
"I didn't know you were alive," she said.
"Couldn't you have at least tried to find out?" he asked calmly.
"Never mind." She stood up and paced back and forth, in and out of his view.
"Well," said G'Kem, needing to get something else cleared up, "You were on the telepath ship Remarkable during the war?"
"Yes. I was fighting for a good cause."
"Did you have any contact with Captain Susan Ivanova?"
"No."
G'Kem couldn't sense her thoughts across a comm terminal, but he could tell she was denying something.
"Are you sure you haven't heard of her?" At the moment, he had nothing much to lose. "Well I have."
"How much?" she demanded.
"I suppose if I'm your son than I can be honest with you. I care about her like a mother. And I care about what you did to her during the telepath war."
She turned away from him.
"Oh that," she said quietly.
"So there you did do it."
"It seems you already knew, what's there to admit?"
"I've known about the event since I was eight, it was only this morning that I found out who did it. It's a bit strange talking to the very person that Susan would probably like to make miserable."
"What are you going to do? Tell her where I live?"
"No, I'm going to ask you to talk to her."
"You want me to talk to her. To say I'm sorry for what I did? Well I suppose I could if you really wanted me to... I've done worse. It was war. I killed people, she killed people. I never killed her."
"Darya--can I call you that? I'm not going to tell you what to do. Just talk to her, okay?"
Susan Ivanova's comm line blinked 'live message.'
"Answer."
The woman on the screen pointed to her.
"I think I remember you Ivanova."
"Oh my god... What the hell is your problem? Can't you leave me alone? I'm surprised you aren't dead by now. But you might be if you weren't so lucky as to have this screen in front of you. To rephrase politely, what are you doing?" She smiled an exaggerated smile.
"Would you really be interested?" Darya Freeman asked.
"Probably not. And have you noticed what time it is?"
"It's only midnight."
"Well here it's eight."
"That's early!"
"I'm nocturnal."
"Very funny."
"Why am I arguing with you anyway?" Ivanova demanded.
"Because I'm G'Kem Sheridan's mother."
Ivanova whipped around.
"WHAT?"
"I said, I'm G'Kem's mother. Who called him that anyway? I like Narns but I don't care for their names."
"Do we have to talk about this right now?"
"No, not really, I suppose."
"Good," said Ivanova cheerfully, "Then I'm just going to hit this little button here--"
Darya never got to hear the end of her sentence. Ivanova cut the transmission.
Ivanova probably felt the same way that Darya did earlier that day: "What is out to get me lately?" Not that she was going to believe that scum immediately, but she was a bit unsettled. Who might know something besides G'Kem? She turned back to the computer.
"Contact David Sheridan."
"Yes? Oh hi Susan."
"Hi Steph. Is David there?"
"No, actually. He'll be back in about an hour. Was there something you wanted?"
"Oh, nothing really. Just tell him to get back to me."
"Sure."
David's wife Stephanie was half human, half Minbari, a hybrid by genetics. Because of this she looked a bit different than Delenn had ended up half human with the chrysalis. Stephanie had almost a full Minbari bone with hair growing out of it like plants in a rock. Her hair was blond, and she smoothed it down so if you saw her from a distance, all you could see was the top of her bone. On top of her head all her hair grew from the base of the bone, all around. If she cut it or tied it up she had a bald spot on the top of her head. When she was around Humans she brushed it onto her forehead and did end up looking similar to Delenn.
Delenn. She might know something.
"Delenn," she told the computer.
"Yes?"
"It's Susan. I need to ask you something."
Delenn put on her visual.
"What is it?"
"Well," Ivanova began, "G'Kem... he found, well, I don't know. I think G'Kem found his birth mother." Ivanova wasn't sure how Delenn would react.
"He did. I just got a message from him a few minutes ago. It's very strange, I know. I said he was feeling jealous that you had found your mother."
"But do you know who she is?" Ivanova demanded.
"No."
"Darya Freeman!"
"Am I supposed to know her?"
"She's the telekinetic I ran into during the war! G'Kem's mother!"
"In Valen's name," Delenn breathed.
Ivanova complained.
"I invited you to my birthday party, that's all," G'Kem said. "If you don't want to come because Darya's going to be there..." It seemed sort of like a 'so there' threat, but G'Kem wasn't sure how to finish it.
"G'Kem, I want to come to your party. But just keep your mother away from me."
"What?"
"Haven't you been listening to a word I said? You may think she's a nice person but I don't want to have anything to do with her."
"Oh come on Susan. Just forget it. She was really mad when your people caught her. It wasn't anything personal."
Ivanova glared at G'Kem.
"How can I forget when I'm reminded every minute of every day what she did to me thirty years ago? How can I forget if the only reason I managed to keep my career was that Earthforce was too involved in the aftermath of the telepath war to notice me before I managed to prove myself? How can I forget, G'Kem?"
"Okay, okay, you don't have to have anything to do with her. Just come."
Sophie walked up to her daughter.
"Susan, I was talking to Darya."
"You were? Great, now you're socializing with her. What a creep."
"I just found out something really fascinating about her."
"Uh-hu."
"It's the reason she was with the Vorlons. She was one of the people that they abducted and kept until the 'time was right.' They gave her telepathy and telekinesis. She wasn't with the Vorlons for a couple of years, and she met G'Kem's father on Narn. She ended up getting pregnant but was called back by the Vorlons. When they went beyond the Rim, she was separated from G'Kem. But the interesting thing is this." Sophie handed a small object to Ivanova.
"American 20th century flyer wings. Model for the Earthforce shoulder patch. Where'd she get these?"
"They're hers."
"Amelia Earhart. That's not her name on it."
"No one on Earth had her name on file and she started calling herself Darya Freeman."
"Alright, but what's the big deal with this?"
"She was a pilot. In 1937, she attempted to fly around the world but somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, the Vorlons got her airplane."
"Good for her."
"I just find that really fascinating. A living person from the 20th century," insisted Sophie.
"If it was anyone else, I'd go up and shake their hand. Her, I don't care."
"Come on, Susan!"
"She shouldn't be here."
"Don't say that so loud."
"I don't care," Ivanova mumbled.
Maybe she was interested, but she was too stubborn to talk to Darya.
"I want to go ask G'Kem something," she said. She found him talking to David.
"Hi Susan," David said.
"Can I talk to G'Kem for a minute?"
"Okay."
Ivanova turned to G'Kem.
"Why didn't you tell me you went back in time?"
"Because I didn't think you would want to know when you were going to die. Life energy acts strangely when it's not the energy you've had from birth. It doesn't quite fit into your biofunction as naturally. That was why John died so quickly, not as naturally. That'll probably happen to you too. You're not only living on Marcus's life energy, you're living on mine. I only gave you enough to live long enough to save Ganya, and a little longer."
"I understand," she said quietly, "I guess I won't live much longer then."
"I don't think so."
"It's about time. Who wants to live forever?"
G'Kem nodded. He wondered just how much extra life energy he had given her. Long enough for her to spend some time with her mother? Long enough to see David and Stephanie's daughter born? Long enough to see the turn of the century? He knew the answer. She would live the time in her life that G'Kem had taken off the end of his. It wasn't that much.
Epilogue
The Vorlons will ask: "So you think you have a destiny?" Very few have one that concerns the old races. They will ask: "Who are you?" Very few people have an answer that they can put into words. G'Kem could have asked Susan Ivanova and the answer could have been "I'm this." Nothing you can put into words. Her destiny concerned the Vorlons--would have concerned the Vorlons if they knew. It concerned the Shadows. Most anything that concerns the Shadows concerns the Vorlons as well. A boy raised by Vorlons couldn't help wondering: Who was Susan Ivanova? What did she do? She helped defeat the Shadows--the Vorlons would be interested in that. She helped defeat the Shadows several times over. Who was she? Sometimes she had been hard to get along with, but she was a lovable person, even though she had been out of the practice of loving other people for so long.
G'Kem wondered if a person's soul enters them the moment they're conceived or the moment they're born. He hoped it was when they were born because then he could retain the belief that maybe Susan was still around in David and Stephanie's daughter Caroline, who was born a week after Susan died. He couldn't prove that, but he could take comfort in the fact that he couldn't disprove it either. That secret was only for the triluminary to know.
It was all good that Delenn and John had adopted G'Kem, but he still didn't know who his real parents were. The feeling of longing really surfaced when Susan made contact with her mother. One morning, he woke up with a driving urge to locate them, or at least find out who they were.
There were resources to find people. The most accessible, if not the most accurate, were the telepath family birth records put together after the war. If G'Kem knew anything about recent history it was that his telepathy most-likely came from his human half.
He arranged for a search of the records for any people who had a partial DNA match to his own. It was unlikely that his human parent was on record as it was only personal accounts of births. Still, he thought, he must have some cousins somewhere who could be tracked back to his human parent.
Getting the authorization to do this search took some doing. He was eager to use it as soon as he got it, but decided to do the search after he'd slept on the idea.
Each dream you dream has a different emotion to it. An emotion unique to that night which you never experience again after that day. But somehow G'Kem remembered this emotion. Long-lost memories now resurfaced. His search for his parents had pushed them forward.
Maybe he was three years old. Maybe four. He was still with the Vorlons at the time. He talked to the Vorlons, and they talked to him. And she talked to him, and she talked to the Vorlons. He was amazed that he remembered, but surprised he had forgotten so long. She was the one who had stood up to the Vorlons and demanded that they give him a name from his own heritage. Oh, she wasn't his mother, but still he was surprised that he had forgotten her for so long. If it wasn't for her brief visit with the Vorlons, he probably could never have adapted to life among his own kind so quickly. He remembered her with her red hair and solid black eyes.
Fortunately, it was a weekend. Even after G'Kem woke up, he stayed in bed with his eyes closed, not daring to get up and risk the dream fading. He wracked his memory for the woman's name. After two and a half hours, he gave up. He walked drowsily to the computer terminal and pushed the data crystal in. He linked his DNA pattern to the data bank.
There were more people than he had expected. A man on Earth, twins on Zion, a few references to archive articles and medical logs. One log caught his eye. It was a cross-reference to the personal log of Earthforce doctor Heather O'Day, dated May 17, 2264. He pulled it. It had once been encrypted, but it wasn't now. It was short, and meaningful only to a few people. G'Kem happened to be one of them.
Doctor Heather O'Day, Personal Log From the ship's computer, I found the telekinetic who ripped Captain Ivanova's spinal cord. Her name is Darya Freeman. I don't plan to tell Susan though. This is between me and me.
G'Kem could never have hated Heather O'Day more than at that moment. She had known all these years! She had never told Susan! How could she? He thought that they had been friends. If Susan ever found out she would probably kill O'Day before thinking of Darya Freeman.
"What's the reference to the match of the DNA sample in question?" G'Kem asked the computer.
"Darya Freeman."
"Locate all references to the name Darya Freeman."
One other reference appeared on the screen. It was the crew manifest from the rogue telepath ship Remarkable. There was a short background on Darya.
Name: Darya Freeman DOB: 7/24/29 POB: Atchison, Kansas, North American Consortium, Earth Gender: female Teep rating: low P8 Teek rating: high K12
Discovered at age 16. Brief period at Psi Corps, broke away in 2251. Joined telepath resistance in 2257.
G'Kem gasped when he read the very last part. "Spent six months on Narn. Is reported to have been with the Vorlons for at least four. This is doubtful and Darya may not be entirely trustworthy."
He read it again.
"What's the relationship between Darya Freeman and the DNA in question?" he finally managed.
"Parental."
He was more nervous than he ever was before. He was going to contact Darya Freeman. He had to. He nervously told the computer to contact her. He got an audio.
"Freeman. Who is this?"
"Um... My name's G'Kem. This isn't a prank call. Is it true that you were with the Vorlons a few months after being on Narn?"
The screen flashed on. G'Kem cringed slightly, thinking she might know what a Narn/human looked like.
She had gray hair which had most likely been blond at one time. Her eyes were hazel. He had thought that his human parent might have eyes about that color. Sometimes he had wondered if his own would have ended up purple if theirs were blue! But of course eye color was not paint.
No matter at the moment.
"What business do you have asking that?" she snapped.
"Well, it's just sort of that I'm half human and I was raised by Vorlons and-"
"Who are you?"
"Well, lets see, I don't really know. That's the problem. I've been trying to track down my biological parents and I was wondering..."
"Wait a minute. What year were you born?"
"About 2258."
"Geez, what's been out to get me lately?"
"Uh?"
"Are you sure this isn't a joke you're playing on me?" she asked.
"No joke. I swear."
"Dana Richard?"
It hit him hard. What did she mean?
"What?" he exclaimed.
"Sorry. If you are who I think you are, you wouldn't know anyway."
"Who do you think I am?" he asked, thinking that he knew the answer.
"Do you think I'm your mother?"
G'Kem nodded tentatively.
"Then I think you're my son, pardon me if I'm wrong."
"You'll get no objection from me Ms. Freeman."
"Why didn't you try to contact me?"
"I just did. Why didn't you?"
"I didn't know you were alive," she said.
"Couldn't you have at least tried to find out?" he asked calmly.
"Never mind." She stood up and paced back and forth, in and out of his view.
"Well," said G'Kem, needing to get something else cleared up, "You were on the telepath ship Remarkable during the war?"
"Yes. I was fighting for a good cause."
"Did you have any contact with Captain Susan Ivanova?"
"No."
G'Kem couldn't sense her thoughts across a comm terminal, but he could tell she was denying something.
"Are you sure you haven't heard of her?" At the moment, he had nothing much to lose. "Well I have."
"How much?" she demanded.
"I suppose if I'm your son than I can be honest with you. I care about her like a mother. And I care about what you did to her during the telepath war."
She turned away from him.
"Oh that," she said quietly.
"So there you did do it."
"It seems you already knew, what's there to admit?"
"I've known about the event since I was eight, it was only this morning that I found out who did it. It's a bit strange talking to the very person that Susan would probably like to make miserable."
"What are you going to do? Tell her where I live?"
"No, I'm going to ask you to talk to her."
"You want me to talk to her. To say I'm sorry for what I did? Well I suppose I could if you really wanted me to... I've done worse. It was war. I killed people, she killed people. I never killed her."
"Darya--can I call you that? I'm not going to tell you what to do. Just talk to her, okay?"
Susan Ivanova's comm line blinked 'live message.'
"Answer."
The woman on the screen pointed to her.
"I think I remember you Ivanova."
"Oh my god... What the hell is your problem? Can't you leave me alone? I'm surprised you aren't dead by now. But you might be if you weren't so lucky as to have this screen in front of you. To rephrase politely, what are you doing?" She smiled an exaggerated smile.
"Would you really be interested?" Darya Freeman asked.
"Probably not. And have you noticed what time it is?"
"It's only midnight."
"Well here it's eight."
"That's early!"
"I'm nocturnal."
"Very funny."
"Why am I arguing with you anyway?" Ivanova demanded.
"Because I'm G'Kem Sheridan's mother."
Ivanova whipped around.
"WHAT?"
"I said, I'm G'Kem's mother. Who called him that anyway? I like Narns but I don't care for their names."
"Do we have to talk about this right now?"
"No, not really, I suppose."
"Good," said Ivanova cheerfully, "Then I'm just going to hit this little button here--"
Darya never got to hear the end of her sentence. Ivanova cut the transmission.
Ivanova probably felt the same way that Darya did earlier that day: "What is out to get me lately?" Not that she was going to believe that scum immediately, but she was a bit unsettled. Who might know something besides G'Kem? She turned back to the computer.
"Contact David Sheridan."
"Yes? Oh hi Susan."
"Hi Steph. Is David there?"
"No, actually. He'll be back in about an hour. Was there something you wanted?"
"Oh, nothing really. Just tell him to get back to me."
"Sure."
David's wife Stephanie was half human, half Minbari, a hybrid by genetics. Because of this she looked a bit different than Delenn had ended up half human with the chrysalis. Stephanie had almost a full Minbari bone with hair growing out of it like plants in a rock. Her hair was blond, and she smoothed it down so if you saw her from a distance, all you could see was the top of her bone. On top of her head all her hair grew from the base of the bone, all around. If she cut it or tied it up she had a bald spot on the top of her head. When she was around Humans she brushed it onto her forehead and did end up looking similar to Delenn.
Delenn. She might know something.
"Delenn," she told the computer.
"Yes?"
"It's Susan. I need to ask you something."
Delenn put on her visual.
"What is it?"
"Well," Ivanova began, "G'Kem... he found, well, I don't know. I think G'Kem found his birth mother." Ivanova wasn't sure how Delenn would react.
"He did. I just got a message from him a few minutes ago. It's very strange, I know. I said he was feeling jealous that you had found your mother."
"But do you know who she is?" Ivanova demanded.
"No."
"Darya Freeman!"
"Am I supposed to know her?"
"She's the telekinetic I ran into during the war! G'Kem's mother!"
"In Valen's name," Delenn breathed.
Ivanova complained.
"I invited you to my birthday party, that's all," G'Kem said. "If you don't want to come because Darya's going to be there..." It seemed sort of like a 'so there' threat, but G'Kem wasn't sure how to finish it.
"G'Kem, I want to come to your party. But just keep your mother away from me."
"What?"
"Haven't you been listening to a word I said? You may think she's a nice person but I don't want to have anything to do with her."
"Oh come on Susan. Just forget it. She was really mad when your people caught her. It wasn't anything personal."
Ivanova glared at G'Kem.
"How can I forget when I'm reminded every minute of every day what she did to me thirty years ago? How can I forget if the only reason I managed to keep my career was that Earthforce was too involved in the aftermath of the telepath war to notice me before I managed to prove myself? How can I forget, G'Kem?"
"Okay, okay, you don't have to have anything to do with her. Just come."
Sophie walked up to her daughter.
"Susan, I was talking to Darya."
"You were? Great, now you're socializing with her. What a creep."
"I just found out something really fascinating about her."
"Uh-hu."
"It's the reason she was with the Vorlons. She was one of the people that they abducted and kept until the 'time was right.' They gave her telepathy and telekinesis. She wasn't with the Vorlons for a couple of years, and she met G'Kem's father on Narn. She ended up getting pregnant but was called back by the Vorlons. When they went beyond the Rim, she was separated from G'Kem. But the interesting thing is this." Sophie handed a small object to Ivanova.
"American 20th century flyer wings. Model for the Earthforce shoulder patch. Where'd she get these?"
"They're hers."
"Amelia Earhart. That's not her name on it."
"No one on Earth had her name on file and she started calling herself Darya Freeman."
"Alright, but what's the big deal with this?"
"She was a pilot. In 1937, she attempted to fly around the world but somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, the Vorlons got her airplane."
"Good for her."
"I just find that really fascinating. A living person from the 20th century," insisted Sophie.
"If it was anyone else, I'd go up and shake their hand. Her, I don't care."
"Come on, Susan!"
"She shouldn't be here."
"Don't say that so loud."
"I don't care," Ivanova mumbled.
Maybe she was interested, but she was too stubborn to talk to Darya.
"I want to go ask G'Kem something," she said. She found him talking to David.
"Hi Susan," David said.
"Can I talk to G'Kem for a minute?"
"Okay."
Ivanova turned to G'Kem.
"Why didn't you tell me you went back in time?"
"Because I didn't think you would want to know when you were going to die. Life energy acts strangely when it's not the energy you've had from birth. It doesn't quite fit into your biofunction as naturally. That was why John died so quickly, not as naturally. That'll probably happen to you too. You're not only living on Marcus's life energy, you're living on mine. I only gave you enough to live long enough to save Ganya, and a little longer."
"I understand," she said quietly, "I guess I won't live much longer then."
"I don't think so."
"It's about time. Who wants to live forever?"
G'Kem nodded. He wondered just how much extra life energy he had given her. Long enough for her to spend some time with her mother? Long enough to see David and Stephanie's daughter born? Long enough to see the turn of the century? He knew the answer. She would live the time in her life that G'Kem had taken off the end of his. It wasn't that much.
Epilogue
The Vorlons will ask: "So you think you have a destiny?" Very few have one that concerns the old races. They will ask: "Who are you?" Very few people have an answer that they can put into words. G'Kem could have asked Susan Ivanova and the answer could have been "I'm this." Nothing you can put into words. Her destiny concerned the Vorlons--would have concerned the Vorlons if they knew. It concerned the Shadows. Most anything that concerns the Shadows concerns the Vorlons as well. A boy raised by Vorlons couldn't help wondering: Who was Susan Ivanova? What did she do? She helped defeat the Shadows--the Vorlons would be interested in that. She helped defeat the Shadows several times over. Who was she? Sometimes she had been hard to get along with, but she was a lovable person, even though she had been out of the practice of loving other people for so long.
G'Kem wondered if a person's soul enters them the moment they're conceived or the moment they're born. He hoped it was when they were born because then he could retain the belief that maybe Susan was still around in David and Stephanie's daughter Caroline, who was born a week after Susan died. He couldn't prove that, but he could take comfort in the fact that he couldn't disprove it either. That secret was only for the triluminary to know.