Xena vs. The Lord of the Rings
Part 5: A funky town
5.1 - Men behaving badly
Seven days after leaving Lorien, Xena and Gabrielle finally arrived in the vicinity of Rhosgobel. For two days they had traveled on the boat before sending it down the river and back to the Elves. Then they had advanced warily across plains into the cover of Mirkwood where they had to watch out for giant spiders. At last they had passed through the forest darkened by thick spider webs, and reached the plains of East Bight on the other side. On the way they hadn't seen any people; not a friend nor an enemy. That wasn't too unexpected as there had been no one living in that direction since the war against the Witch decades before.
"You know what's the first thing I'll do when we arrive in Rhosgobel? asked Gabrielle.
"That's easy. You'll get something to eat in my mother's tavern," Xena suggested.
"Oh, sure, but right after that?"
"I dunno."
"I'll go shopping. I need new clothes to replace these rags."
Xena took another look at her friend, measuring her from tip to toe, with an amused expression. "Why? I kind of like that new style of yours. That sleeveless top matches perfectly with that short, brown skirt."
"But it shows everything!" whined the bard.
"What can I say? Your everything looks good to me. You shouldn't feel the slightest bit ashamed of showing it."
"Oh, Xena, let me take you back to Lorien. The poison is affecting you again," said Gabrielle with a concerned tone, but in reality, she was flattered.
Xena laughed. It was hearty, happy laughter that had been kept back all too long. "It's funny, you know. In Lorien you wore those very same rags, and didn't feel any need to change them. And now that we're getting back to human world..."
"You're right. It is a little odd. Those Elves were so close to nature that it never occurred to me until now. I don't think they'd have cared no matter what we'd been wearing."
"You may be right. Hey, listen. You hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"The bird. That one singing louder than others. There!"
"I don't remember that you've cared of birds' singing before."
"That one only lives in Mirkwood. I've never heard it anywhere else. And I recognize these places! Just like I hadn't been away at all."
"So that's why you've been so brisk today. It's the magic of homecoming. Brings back memories, doesn't it?"
"Something like that. Like, you see that stone over there?"
"Oh, that little, round, very ordinary stone? You certainly can't mean that funny, crouching-giant-looking stone."
"Yeah, that's the one. A story tells it once was a troll who robbed gold and valuables from people passing by. Then one time, he was so absorbed by the loot that he didn't realize the sun was rising before it was too late. Because trolls can't bear sunlight, he was petrified into that position."
"You know, you should do this more often. It was a good story."
"I knew you'd like it. You must ask my mother for a better version. She can tell it properly. That stone also means that we're not far from the town."
"Good. Oh, look! Sheep. We really are near the town."
"Yes, except... You see a shepherd anywhere?"
"Now that you mention it... no. Do you think they're strayed?"
"Maybe, but I have a bad feeling about this. Something doesn't match. We should travel the rest of the way in the cover of forest, just in case."
They proceeded inside the thick forest, which slowed them down, and so it was nearly evening before they got the city into sight. It was built in the middle of an opening, or rather the woods had been cut around the town to form an opening. It would be impossible to reach the city wall unnoticed in daylight.
At first, everything looked normal. Guardsmen stood on the walls and at the gates in the way Xena had instructed many years before. But any keen-eyed observer would have seen that those men were not locals.
"I don't like this," Xena said to Gabrielle, as they were hiding in the underbrush near the rim of the Mirkwood. "Those men, they are Easterlings. As you know, they are ruthless warriors. That's one reason I once employed them myself. The citizens must be real desperate if they've hired them to guard the town."
Gabrielle didn't buy the explanation. "You really don't believe they're hired, do you, Xena?" she asked.
"No, and that scares the Mordor out of me. We must find out what they're doing there."
"To do that we must get inside the walls, right? We can't risk the chance of getting caught, and avoiding that may be hard at daytime."
"Then we'll wait until it's dark. You see that guard up in the watch tower? If we could just turn his attention elsewhere, we could advance to that recess over there. Then we'd wait until they change guards, cause some disorder, and slip inside in the confusion."
"So, all we really need is a diversion. What do you have in mind?"
"Well, I don't think it suits here."
"You do have a plan! Come on, tell me."
Xena grunted uneasily. "We could use the Three Trolls tactics, without the third troll, of course? But that would put you into too much a danger. This time we're opposed to a rude and erratic horde of Easterlings."
"Come on. I could take them out if I had to. With this staff I can do anything."
Xena frowned at her, and said, "Well, if you're so sure about this. Okay, you know the drill. Just be careful and... Wait! What's that?"
They hid themselves better in the underbrush, and soon the reason for Xena's reaction came into sight. It was a funnily armored man, and he was singing, "... through the country side; never needs a place to hide; he is Gondor's greatest scout; snakes of Mordor, you watch out..."
"Oh no," Gabrielle groaned with despair, "It can't be. Tell me it's not him."
But it was; Joxer the Mighty in person. When he had the gate in his sight, he stopped singing and walked straight to the guards. "Hi, guys," he said smiling half-mindedly, "I'm on an important mission from Minas Tirith. Is it still far to Dol Guldur, would you know?"
The guards shared a look, laughed, and one of them said, "Dol Guldur, huh? You ain't having too much brains, do you, mate? You come from south and you look for Dol Guldur, which you passed a hundred miles ago. Hear that?!"
"Uhm, a hundred miles that way, you say?" Joxer asked, turning to look at where he had come from, and ignoring the mockery. "Thanks. I'll just get on my way, then."
"No, you won't," the guards said, took a hold under his arms, and started dragging him towards the gate with laughter.
"Come, that's our diversion," Xena said, and the women ran across the open field, and slipped inside before the gate was closed again.
"That was easy," Gabrielle stated. "Now what?"
"I'll go this way, you go that way. Meet me back here in an hour. Let's see what's behind this."
Xena left the bard in the dark alley behind the watch tower, and advanced up the empty streets towards the city heart. She passed the blacksmith's place and neared the bakery, both of which were not only deserted but looted as well. She then took a side street to avoid the roadhouse that had lights on, and where a bunch of thugs were hanging out at the porch. It looked like they had found a store with funny herbs in the healer's house nearby. But the local people, the real inhabitants, they were missing all together.
She went around the block, passed a little jailhouse with two cells, and headed towards her mother's tavern. It lay near the northern side of the town square, not being right on the edge, though. Xena remembered how she as a kid used to reach out from the second floor window, her left foot outside on a narrow ledge and her right one inside keeping her from falling, and like that she was just be able to see to the market place. It had made her mother mad whenever she had caught her daughter doing that foolhardy stunt. The tavern was still there, but now it was possessed by a mob of Easterlings.
Then a crash behind her made her swing around. It came from another narrow side street. She went to inspect the reason, and saw a man trying to break into a house. He used the hilt of his axe to hammer the lock on the front door, and finally he managed to break it. He kicked the door open and stepped in. But someone was expecting him inside.
"The back door was open," said Xena laconically while she closed the front door behind him.
"Huh?" yelped the man surprised, and turned around. And then he fell down to the floor, as Xena's hands did a trick on his throat.
"Alright, scum," spat the warrior woman as she knelt by his side and held him by his collar, "I've cut the flow of blood to your brains. You'll be dead in thirty seconds unless you answer my questions..."
----
Gabrielle's hideout was behind a rose bed in front of a house by the town square. In the middle of the square she saw the guards holding Joxer between them before a group of men. She was too far to hear what they said to him, but she was sure it wasn't baby talk. Soon another two men joined them, and the one of them took her breath away. He was ruggedly handsome with a somewhat exotic look that a woman could die for. His well defined muscles bulged as he deliberately stretched in front of his poor captive. He must have been the leader as the others seemed to either respect or fear him. At first he just talked, but then he hit Joxer in the face, and yelled at him, and his malicious facial expressions scared the bard. The next hit had Gabrielle look away; a few more and she almost ran out of her hiding place to stop him.
At last they stopped beating Joxer and put him in stocks instead. The leader and his men left with the exception of two who stayed behind and hung around the stocks. They didn't touch him, but they didn't leave him alone either. It made Gabrielle mad with anger, and perhaps because of that she became careless, and so her staff accidentally hit an empty steel bucket. She froze, and hoped the men didn't hear that. But the hope was futile.
"Heard that, Jax?" asked the other man.
"I sure heard something," said the one called Jax. "Better go check it out. Stay here with the prisoner."
Jax drew his weapon, and walked at Gabrielle's direction while she crawled backwards to get into cover. Fortunately, it was dark, so that he didn't see her right away. She got behind a corner of the house, stood up and ran. Just before she made it behind another corner, the man appeared from behind the first one, saw a glimpse of her, and started the pursuit. Gabrielle heard him coming, and increased speed. Behind the next corner she suddenly hit someone, and was tripped down.
It took only a second for Xena to realize the situation and act. She had heard something coming her direction. She had waited for it. She had tripped it down, and pulled her sword back, as she recognized Gabrielle. She understood the bard was being chased. Then she timed it perfectly, stepped out behind the corner, and punched the surprised Jax unconscious.
"You're late," Xena said while dragging the man into shelter.
"Yes, Xena. Sorry, Xena," Gabrielle responded from the darkness. "I could have taken him down myself."
"I know you could. What happened."
"First, I crept along the wallside for a while, got bored seeing no one, and walked right into the middle. There I saw some very bad people put Joxer into stocks, and then one of them chased me here. That's about all I know. You?"
"I caught a thug and interrogated him. He said the town was already empty when they arrived. But he mentioned that their leader might know more."
"Great! I think I know where their leader is."
"So do I, but there's a problem. Their leader... uh."
"What? Don't tell me you know him?
"It's Draco."
"Draco," Gabrielle gasped. She was shivering. She remembered Xena telling about this merciless warlord from her past, and didn't like it at all.
"Yes. I'm afraid that if we ever want to find out what happened here, he's our best starting point.
"Well, how hard can it be? We break in, you put a pinch on him, we get the information, and then we leave."
"It's not that simple. I doubt if he would talk. And I believe that he doesn't know much more than the first guy, so I may have to stay in the town for a few days to inspect the mystery in a more subtle way. I want you to get out as soon as possible and wait for me in the forest. It's dangerous enough for one of us here inside."
Gabrielle shook her head, and said, "How many times have we gone through this? I can take care of myself."
"Don't argue with me, Gabrielle."
"No! Don't you argue with me! If this is so dangerous as you think, then you will need my help if they expose you. Besides, Galadriel said that we mustn't split up. I'm coming with you, and that's final."
"Gabrielle, we don't have time for this. They'll start looking for this man that chased you, and the other I pinched, and then they'll realize something's wrong, and we'll be in trouble. Fine, you can stay. But you'll keep low profile and do exactly as I tell you!"
"Don't I always."
"Good. Now, follow me."
----
Draco was having a bad morning. He had been waken up in the middle of his sweetest dreams, and he didn't like it at all. One of his men claimed that he had been struck unconscious by someone fast and strong whom he had been chasing, and another was still missing. The guards hadn't seen a thing, and the rest of his men were bored, uneasy, or drunk. The spy in the stocks still refused to give him the information he wanted. And he was hungry like a wolf. He strode angrily up the porch stairs, three at a time, into the tavern where he had been keeping his quarters, just waiting for the moment to get his fingers into the left-overs of yesterday's roast chicken.
He found the bowl that had been half full of food in the evening. Now it was empty. Furiously he smashed it at the opposite wall, and took a sip from a wine bottle. But it was empty as well. And the fruit basket was missing altogether.
He was about to lash out and let his men know what he thought about this outrageous behavior, when his eyes caught a bedroom door slightly open. He was sure he had closed it when he had left earlier. Cautious as always, he drew his sword and used it to push the door fully open.
There was a woman lying on his sofa. "Hello, Draco," she said softly.
"Xena!"
"So, you still remember me."
"What are you doing here?!"
"Now, now. I was expecting a somewhat more..." Xena paused, took a cherry from the basket in her lap, and played it on her lips awhile before consuming it, "...friendlier welcoming." She spat out the cherry's stem with a beautiful knot in it.
"Well, er, hmm, so, it was you who attacked Jax, weren't you? And Elohir, too?"
"I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble. If I had known it was you in charge here, it all could've been avoided. But I didn't know," she purred, and took another cherry.
Draco still kept his sword in his hand, but he raised it against his shoulder. "That brings us back to the question. What are you doing here?"
"Eating cherries."
"Xena!"
"Okay, I'll tell. This is my hometown, remember? I come here and find it deserted with the exception of a bunch of Easterlings. What should I think of it?"
"What?"
"You tell me."
The conversation paused and they just watched each other, until Draco said, "You want to know where the townspeople are? Maybe I killed them. Took the town, slaughtered everybody, put them into a big pile, and burned them."
"You didn't do that. You would, if you caught them, and you would put their heads on stakes around the city as tokens of victory. No, I think you rode here and found it already abandoned."
"You're as perceptive as ever. So, what are you going to do about it?"
"About what?"
"Well, this is your hometown, and now it's run by a fierce warlord."
"Oh, that. Well, why should I do anything?"
"The Xena I knew may not have cared, but since then I've heard you turned all goody-goody."
"Oh, but that's what I want everybody to believe."
"Ah, tactics, huh? Sorry if I don't believe you."
"Whatever. Listen, I'm gonna hang around for a while, anyway, so I need a place to spend a night. Could you arrange me one?" She smiled sheepishly and blinked her lashes like only she could.
Draco came closer, and sat on the sofa near Xena's feet, letting his hand slide up her leg, and talked sweetly, "What's wrong with this place? It could be like the old times."
But Xena drew her leg back, sat up, and laid the basket between them. "Sorry, Draco. That wouldn't be a good idea, remembering what happened the last time."
"I could take the pain, but if this is what you want, I'll allow it. You must give me something in exchange, though. What do you have?"
"I can find the townspeople for you. You would like that, would you? Spare my mother and a few others, and you can have the rest. I never really cared for them, anyway."
Draco gave her a suspicious look. "If you can do that, then we have a deal. But double-cross me, and I will have your head."
----
"Hey. It's me," whispered Xena to the empty walls of the house in which she had questioned Elohir a day earlier. In a dark corner a pile of sacks moved, rose up, and a cloaked figure the height of Gabrielle slid across the floor.
"It was about time," came a mumble behind a hood that completely covered the young woman's face. "I was becoming worried of you. Everything all right?"
"So far, yes. Here, take this." She handed her a leather wrapped packet.
"Thanks. Any news?" Gabrielle responded while unwrapping a quarter of a roast chicken, and an apple.
"I talked with a few men who were there already when I was in charge. They told me that when they arrived, Draco gave the villagers one day to surrender before he would take the town by force. After that they laid siege for three whole days before they noticed that the city was empty. Draco went mad with rage. They couldn't understand how the people could break their siege.
"I don't blame them. A thousand people can't just disappear like that."
"Actually, I think I know what happened. Don't forget I designed this town's defense. Somewhere here is the head of a tunnel leading out. My idea, too, but I never had time to finish it before... you know. They're hiding somewhere out there. We just need to find the outer exit of the tunnel and start following the tracks. I'm sure there still are some."
"What about Joxer? I admit he's a pain at times, but nevertheless, he is our friend."
Xena sighed, and answered reluctantly, "They would kill him, eventually."
"Xena, we must get him out."
"It won't be easy, Gabrielle. It's one thing to release him from the stocks, and another to get him out of the gates. We will expose ourselves trying that."
"Maybe you can smuggle him out. I'm sure Draco trades supplies with the outside world. It might give us a chance."
"Hmm. I fear it's the hit-and-run tactics again that will work. We'll release Joxer and escape through the tunnel. We just need to find it first. If we're lucky, Draco won't even know we're gone until it's too late."
----
"Why do I have to stand guard," Jax whined in the watch tower at the gates. "I was on the gate watch yesterday. No one was supposed to have two days on guard in a row. It's Elohir's turn, anyway."
"Well, Elohir was found unconscious in a gutter just hours ago. He's got a head ache," answered Bogas Gol, the other guard on duty.
"Hey, I could have a head ache, too. Someone attacked me as well, and I bet it was that Xena-woman. It's a strange thing, you know. Very strange. Or have you ever seen Draco act like that after making out with a woman."
"You don't know Xena. I do. I rode with her once. And so did Draco."
"What? You say she... and Draco..." He stopped talking and peered into darkness. "Hey! Who goes there?!" he yelled.
"Where? What did you see?"
"Over there, near the well. I'm sure I saw something. Like a shadow, but it's gone now. A shadow with a white rod."
----
"Joxer," came a whisper in the darkness.
"Go away," said the tired man in the stocks.
"Joxer, it's me, Gabrielle," said a hooded figure stepping into his sight.
"Gabri..."
"Sshhh! Not so loud," the hooded woman said, putting her hand over his mouth.
"Gabrielle, what are you doing here. It's dangerous. Where's Xena?"
"She's making a plan to save your head. I can't talk long. Here's water. Drink. I'll bring you food later if I can." She poured some water to his mouth from a water skin.
"Hey, aren't you setting me free?"
"Keep your voice down," said the woman again, gazing nervously around. "I can't release you yet. Trust me. We won't let anything happen to you. Just hold on." And then she was gone, just in time, as the guards for the next shift were passing by on their way to the gates.
"Hey! Who were you talking to, wimp?" asked the first one rudely.
"Who, me?" Joxer answered. "Sorry, I wasn't sure who you were calling wimp. Nobody. I talked to nobody. There's noo-body here but me. None at all. I'm so lonely."
"I heard you talk to someone."
"No-no-no, I was just practicing new words to my theme song. Wanna hear?" And not waiting for permission, he started singing in his own, original tone, "Joxer the innocent, he was everybody's friend, now he's bound into a pole, wishing just to get back home..."
"Oh, shut up you idiot," snapped the second guard, and they left towards the gates.
----
"Good morning, Xena," said Draco as he peeked in to the house assigned to Xena for the night. "Slept well?"
"Like a little hobbit," Xena replied from her bench, but she was lying. She had spent all night rummaging through the village, searching for the tunnel, but her search had been unsuccessful. Gabrielle had been on the other side of the town where it was less crowded and therefore safer, but she hadn't found anything, either. There was still a vast area yet to inspect, and they had to be thorough, as their target was obviously very well hidden.
"No, Xena," Draco continued, shaking his head, "You don't sleep like a hobbit. You sleep like a dog." He paused to see the effect of his words, and added, "And that is warily and lightly. Care to join me for a breakfast?"
"Why, honey, I thought you'd never ask," Xena answered. She laid the mug she had been holding down to a table in front of her, and stood up, took the warlord's arm, and they left out together. A minute passed, and another, and then the bench on which Xena had sat, it moved and rose up, slightly trembling. A sack cloth slipped down to floor, and Gabrielle uncovered took a deep breath. She realized that if Draco had seen her, no explanation could have saved them from a fight. Fortunately, Xena's quick wits had saved the day once again.
The bard picked up her own mug of tea from the floor under the table, and took a sip from it. She then grimaced and threw it away, as the tea was lukewarm and disgusting, and she was too shaken to digest anything, anyway. She sat on the corner of the table, shook her head, and sighed into her hands. This game of hide and seek was getting on her nerves. She wanted action, though only a moment ago she was close to getting plenty.
Suddenly, a drunken yell from outside interrupted her thoughts. "Hey, lovely woman, Come out. I've some-[hickup]-thing to show you!" Gabrielle pulled her hood back on and peeked cautiously out of the window, seeing two men leaning on each other and drawing courage from a bottle of brown liquid. "Why don't you come out, Zee-naah? Don't you wanna play with us?" said the other man when she didn't answer, and took another sip from the bottle.
Good, they don't know it's me in here, she thought, and yelled back, "Stay away, I'm tired," trying to imitate Xena's deeper voice and intonation.
Maybe the men were not familiar with Xena's reputation, as they said, "Very well, we'll come in to play, then." The first one kicked the door open, and entered. At once, he encountered someone head taller than he, who right after his realization smashed him back to street, using a white, spear-like thing. His companion was luckier, and maybe less drunk, as he still had the wits to step back in time and run away.
Gabrielle dropped down from a chair she had stood on, and slipped out before the first guy would wake up, or his friend would gather enough courage (or more men) to come back. Nonetheless, it was too dangerous to stay. Xena had instructed her to stay inside at day time, but as she had no other place safe, she decided to go and continue her previous nighttime search.
She used the shadows of the city wall to make her way to the other side of the town, and started her search where it had ended earlier. The smith's house was small and unlikely to hold a tunnel, but she searched it anyway. No sign of much, though, as was expected. The same thing with the house next door, and the next. Then she entered a little larger house with at least four rooms. In a spacious kitchen there was a mess, as the Easterlings had maltreated anything that was not nailed into wall. But the floor looked suspicious to her, and she spent a while knocking and stomping on it, looking for a loose plank or something. Then she moved on to the next room, where the mess was, if possible, even worse. A narrow table by the western wall had been turned over, and anything once on it was now scattered over the floor as sharp pieces of glass. Beside the table was a sofa which looked like someone had been using it to make camp fire, but failing to keep it burning, which would be a remarkable accomplishment. A half open door led to the backyard with a small guard house on the other side, and another door with its lock broken went to a storeroom.
Watching out for the shards of glass she walked to the storeroom, and opened the door. There was a man inside; a squinty eyed man with roll of smoking grass under his nose. He noticed her, and started, and stepping back he grabbed one of the shelves, and hardly managed to keep his balance. Gabrielle had thought that she was alone, and blaming herself for her carelessness she tried to decide what to do. If she attacked him, he might still have enough time to yell for help. He was probably trying to make out who she was, which wasn't easy as she was still having her hood on. For a moment that felt like eternity, they stared at each other.
Then she saluted him, slammed the door closed, and quickly ducked down behind the sofa. She used her staff to push the back door closed, so that he would think she'd left the house. The plan worked; he came out of the storeroom and strode out, looking for her, and yelled, "Hey, stop right there!" Then he ran into some guards outside. "Did you see him? Where did he go?" he asked them.
"What do you mean?" asked the guard.
"Someone just left the house. Who was it?"
"Nobody came out," a guard said, "You're just seeing things again, aren't you, Gormstool? Go sleep it off. And stop smoking those herbs. They're not good for you."
"But I really saw someone."
"Yeah, yeah. Come on, we'll take you to him. Easy now." And they guided him towards the guard house. One of them turned back, though, and entered the house, suspiciously looking through every room. But, by then, Gabrielle was already gone.
----
"...and he was holding a scythe, or that's what it appeared to be in the beginning, and I thought that my end had come, but then he just left for some reason. I ran after him and, I swear, I nearly caught him, when he suddenly disappeared. It was scary, but maybe he just realized I was too tough for him.
"Hey, I think I saw him yesterday, too. He wore a black cloak, and he was at least eight feet tall! Isn't that right, Gormstool?"
"Uhm, yes, Maddog, eight feet. Maybe even nine!"
"And it was an enormous, white spear he held. I can easily understand that you were scared. He was in the house of the boss's new woman."
"Have you told him about this?" asked Elohir, who had listened to this conversation a few yards off, but now it was getting too absurd.
"The boss?" Maddog asked back, and his arrogance was gone. "No, not yet. I don't think he'd believe me."
Elohir's eyes narrowed, and he said, "You weren't drunk again, both of you? I bet you saw a shadow of a bird passing the sun, and you thought it was a monster. Aren't you useless!"
"A shadow?! A shadow can't knock me unconscious! This one did."
"So does booze." This wasn't the first time these morons saw monsters, Elohir thought, though usually they saw Orcs or dragons or something more obvious. Shaking his head, he left to turn in. He was now off-duty, and nothing could interest him, other than a good night of sleep. He decided to go and check the prisoner in stocks at the same time, and maybe have some fun with teasing him, as he was by his route, anyway. But when he got to the town square, there was already someone else talking with him. It was a dark figure obscured by darkness, who swiftly fled in another direction as soon as he appeared on the other side of the square.
"Who's there?" he yelled, but the cloaked one ignored him, or didn't hear him at all. So he hastened his pace and got closer, and then he saw the suspicious figure was hiding something under his cloak. "Hey!" he yelled, and started running, and the cloaked one started running as well, quickly disappearing between houses. But Elohir got a sight of him again in the next alley, and the chase was on. The figure didn't try to hide his bearing any more, and Elohir saw it was a white rod or staff. This made him wonder whether there was some truth in Maddog's and Gormstool's visions after all, and he was determined to find out about it.
They meandered between the houses a few minutes. Elohir was a fast runner but so was his prey who seemed to have more endurance, as the distance separating them was starting to grow. But then he knew he'd catch him soon, when he turned to a street that was a dead end. There was nothing but a little stable on that street, and it was nailed shut. He turned around the last corner -- and got whacked down by the staff the hooded figure held. Then the figure pulled the hood down, and he recognized it was Xena.
"Why do you run after me, Elohir?" she asked coldly.
"But I... but I..." he stammered. He hadn't known it had been Xena. Somehow the dusk must have fooled him, as he had seen her as smaller a moment ago. But it was Xena holding the staff. It was Xena wearing the cloak. It must have been Xena he had chased. And she didn't look pleased.
"Go get lost," said the warrior woman, and turned her back at him. Elohir didn't need another chance to get up and run.
Right after that, the water surface broke in a horse trough behind Xena, and Gabrielle emerged, gasping for air. "That was close," she said.
"Too close," Xena said, "What took you so long?"
"Well, I found this barn that I think is worth another look. I had to see a lot of trouble getting in, as it was locked. Locked from inside! When at last I did get in, I saw that there was something... hmm. It was too clean, and then again, it wasn't. Messy in the wrong kind of way, if you know what I mean."
"Like the dirt had been placed there on purpose?"
"Something like that. I had to leave in a hurry, before I was done with it."
"Very good, Gabrielle. You may be on to something. I'll go and check it out myself as soon as possible. You must hide now, and take some rest if you can. Be prepared to take action tonight."
"Xena, it's possibly nothing."
"And then again, it may be the way out." Xena turned away, and muttered hardly audibly, "Joxer's way out."
After making sure that Gabrielle was safely in her hiding place, Xena went to see the barn that the bard had found. She opened one of its doors, ensured that she was alone, and slipped inside.
The back of the barn was filled to the roof with hay, and in the front the floor was covered with a thinner layer. Up over the rafters holding the roof up there hung empty grain sacks put there to dry. Near the doorway a couple of pitchforks were leaning against the wall, and the third had fallen down beside them. Immediately Xena saw what the younger woman had meant; there definitely was something wrong with the picture. She also saw that someone had been moving some hay recently, and concluded it had been no other than Gabrielle.
But surely the tunnel couldn't be here. If it was, it had to be under the hay, and that meant that some of the townspeople had closed it and covered it. That would have left those few people on the wrong side, without hope of escaping Draco's men. Unless... Xena peered suspiciously at the grain sacks, and flipped up to the rafters to inspect them better. And then she realized how it all was done.
----
During the next night and day, a plan was formed and necessary preparations were taken. Xena went to fetch Joxer from the stocks but she found out that Draco was already there. "Hello, Draco. What's up?" she asked.
"Oh, Xena. I just finished questioning this prisoner," Draco answered. "Interested in knowing what I found out?"
Something in his voice rang Xena's alert bell. "By all means. Tell me," she replied casually, but she feared Joxer had blown her cover.
"Nothing. The idiot knows nothing about nothing! Can you believe they sent him from Minas Tirith onto a mission to get reinforcements from Dol Guldur! He didn't know there's only Orcs there."
"Who sent you?" Xena asked Joxer directly.
"It was the chief of their army, Boromir himself."
"Boromir, huh? I've heard of him," said Xena coldly, but she was greatly understating. In reality, Boromir was a good friend of hers, and even if he was known for his sometimes twisted sense of humour, this time he had gone too far. Xena decided to bring it up with him the next time she'd see him. Then she glanced Draco, smiling crookedly, and said, "I think I like this Boromir already. He makes funny jokes."
"Well, what should I do with this one? I think I'll just throw him down from the wall. He'll make a nice splash, I'll bet."
"Throw him down the wall," said Xena thoughtfully, "I have a better idea."
"What's that?"
"Take him down and follow me. You're gonna love this."
"What do you plan, Xena?"
"No, no. It must be a surprise. You wouldn't wanna spoil the fun, would you?" Two men released Joxer and held him between them as they dragged him after Xena to an unknown destination. After a while they arrived to an opening in front of a barn, and there Xena stopped.
"Well, where's the fun?" asked Draco impatiently.
"In a moment," Xena replied, and took Joxer from the men and lifted him on her shoulders. She took a few carefree steps, and then started running towards the barn. "Open the doors!" she yelled, and immediately one of the double doors in the front started moving, and only a hem of a cloak that flashed in the gap told that there was anyone inside pulling it.
"Get them! It's a trick!" Draco cried at last, but Xena was nearly inside already, and then the doors were closed and securely bolted after her.
In the barn, Gabrielle lowered the hood and looked Xena into her eyes with a questioning expression, and the warrior nodded quickly. Nothing else was needed, and so the bard crouched down, took her finger into a knot hole in the floor, and pulled a trapdoor open. Xena climbed down the ladders, still carrying Joxer, and Gabrielle followed, closing the trapdoor after her. "Can you walk?" Xena whispered to Joxer.
"I don't know, but let me down", the man answered, "This is humiliating."
Xena dropped him down, and he gained his balance only by taking support from Gabrielle. Xena went to the other side of the ladders and untied four knots in four ropes that went up through holes in the floor. She pulled each of them, and at the same time, the grain sacks in roof the barn were pulled aside, dropping down the hay that had been piled upon them, and thus camouflaging the trapdoor.
"You've got the light?" the warrior woman then asked.
"Here," answered her best friend, and lit an oil lamp that she had brought with her.
"Good. Now let's go before they get in and find the trapdoor." And with Xena in front with the lamp they advanced down the tunnel which they found to be long and skillfully dug.
Xena vs. The Lord of the Rings
Part 5: A funky town
5.2 - Welcome home, Xena
"There. That should do it," announced Xena as she came out from the tunnel which she had safely blocked with a rockslide. Gabrielle was already outside, nearly a mile away from the city, and she was checking Joxer's wounds which fortunately were not serious. "Are you two ready?" the warrior asked.
"Yes," Gabrielle replied, and Joxer sprang up like he'd never been readier, then stumbled over his own feet, and fell.
"Good," said Xena. "Let's follow the track."
"Xena, you're amazing!" the bard wondered. "I don't see any track here."
"Of course there's a track. Hundreds of people marched here a few weeks ago, and they stomped down everything that's green. Now the nature has recovered and young plants are taking over. It couldn't be more clear. There it goes. See?"
The bard tried and tried, but she still found it hard to make it out. That's why she gladly let Xena lead, and followed a few steps behind with Joxer. The man seemed tired and Gabrielle decided to cheer him up with a set of how-to-light-a-torch-jokes she had been developing for some time. However, either her jokes were bad or he was too stupid to understand them. She tried explaining them to him, which naturally took the best edge away. "...and that's why there must four Dwarves to light a torch. Get it now?"
"Four... and a torch..." Joxer mumbled, "Oh yes, I get it!"
"Good!" the bard said.
"Yes, but why won't those Dwarves use lanterns...?"
"Joxer!" yelled the bard desperately, but took a deep breath then, and made herself calm down. "Okay, let's try another one. Do you know, how many Hobbits does it take to light a torch?"
"Uhmm, no?"
"Two. One will hold the torch and another climbs onto his shoulders to light it!" She chuckled heavily, and in a while the man straightened up with a wide smile.
"Oh, now I get it," he announced triumphantly. "The Dwarves don't HAVE any lanterns!" His conclusion made the young woman roll her eyes and grit her teeth with frustration, but he was just warming up. "Hey, I've got one too. How many Warrior Princesses does it take to light a torch?"
"Careful, Joxer," Gabrielle warned the man, who was stepping into a dangerous zone.
"None. A torch will be so scared to hear a Warrior Princess is coming that it will ignite itself!"
Xena heard the answer, and stopped, but the joking twosome were unable to see her face. Gabrielle misinterpreted that the stop was because she was about to give Joxer a hard time, and rushed to the rescue. "Okay, ignore that, Xena. Now you answer. How does a dragon light a torch?
"Hmm?"
"It doesn't have to. Dragons ARE torches!" She burst into laughter as this was the top of her series. But both Xena and Joxer seemed either dull or distracted. "Hey, that was funny! Dragons breath fire and... Xena!"
"What?!"
"You're not listening. What is it?"
"Well, I.." Xena started with a slight embarassment in her voice.
Gabrielle watched her a while in silence and then her eyes widened up in disbelief as she realized; "You've lost the trail!"
"I haven't lost the trail!" snapped the warrior. "I just don't know where goes at the moment."
"In other words; you've lost the trail! How can you lose a trail of a thousand people!"
"It was right there, and then, it wasn't. I don't get it," the warrior groaned.
"This is SO unbelievable."
"Well you find it if you think it's easy!"
"Guys, guys, chill out," said Joxer, stepping in between them. "It can happen to anyone. I've lost a trail hundreds of times. Now, hug and it'll be all right again. Right? Guys?"
"Joxer," retorted Gabrielle, and snatched his nose with a painful grip between her fingers. "Not now." Then she turned back at the warrior. "Okay, Xena. Where did you saw it last? Let's return there and see if you missed something."
"I already tried that," Xena retorted, "You were too busy playing with Joxer to notice. The track just vanishes."
"No wonder Draco couldn't find it. Then we need another approach, I believe. Like, if I was a townful of people, where would I go?"
"That wasn't helpful, Gabrielle," Xena said, casting a sharp glare at her friend.
"What can we do, then?"
"I don't know. But I know someone who might. I hope he's home."
"Who?"
"An old friend. You'll see..." said the warrior mysteriously, and suddenly she was smiling.
Xena led them deeper and deeper into the forest, where trees grew higher and thicker. Everywhere around them there was life; digging roots for food, hunting critters, flying around and above their heads, singing warnings. Just a few miles north, and it all was gone, as there began the area ruled by giant spiders. But here it was different; still as beautiful as the whole forest ages before.
But the beauty didn't let Xena off guard. "Gabrielle," she suddenly whispered.
"The feeling?" asked the bard.
"The feeling," Xena confirmed.
"The staff?"
"The staff."
The bard held the Spear of Alatariel tighter, and still they advanced. The birds stopped singing. Badgers didn't dig any more. The forest enveloped them in thick green gloom, and it looked like they couldn't go further, so they stopped.
"Xena, I know this place!" Gabrielle suddenly announced.
"What?! But you've never been in this forest before."
"In the dream, Xena! This is the exact place I saw in the vision that I had in Bree."
Xena gave her a thoughtful look, but they were interrupted before she could draw any conclusions. "What are you doing here?" asked an angry voice above them, making Joxer turn back and hide. The women looked up but saw only trees and leaves.
"We're tracing the people of Rhosgobel," Xena yelled. "I thought you might know something about them. Am I right, Radagast?"
"Radagast!" Gabrielle yelped, "Radagast the Brown? The Wizard of forests and wildlife?" Xena nodded and the bard shook her head in disbelief.
"I know you're trailing them!" the cranky voice answered to Xena, and an old man with a staff and a brown cloak appeared between plants. "Yes, yes! I hid their track. But you were not supposed to be here at all." And he turned his angry gaze to Gabrielle, saying, "Don't you ever listen?"
"But I... Hey, I was only told to go after Xena, and I did. If it's my dream you mean."
"That was only the smallest part," the Wizard groaned, and strode forth and back in frustration. "So much more I said to you. Did you even tell her about the Ring?"
"But Galadriel said... I mean, yes, I told Xena about Smeagol's ring."
"Obviously not enough. You were supposed to follow the Ringbearer!"
"Why do you blame me for this. Why didn't you go into Xena's dream?"
"Oh, I tried, but she's too thick-headed. I coudn't get through."
"Wait! Would someone tell me what's going on!" Xena interrupted.
Radagast stopped striding, looked at both women sharply, and said, "The One Ring is coming this way, carried by a Hobbit, Frodo Baggins. He'll soon be in Lorien, if he's lucky. He would be there already if someone," he said, glaring at Gabrielle, "had spent less time daydreaming of Princes and listened to me. He needs you for protection, Xena."
"And what exactly is this One Ring?" Xena asked. Gabrielle twitched, and Xena turned her suspicious gaze at the younger woman. "Do you know something I don't?"
"It could be used to take over the world," said the bard quietly, and she couldn't stand looking Xena into eyes.
"Is that true?" Xena asked from the Wizard. "Could I beat Sauron with this ring?"
"Oh yes, most likely," he replied nonchalantly.
"But Galadriel said it will corrupt its wielder! Good will turn to evil." Gabrielle cried.
"Well, it's all so relative. After all, is there really good or evil? Can you draw the line between them?" he continued. "What? Do you rather believe in an Elf woman or a Wizard who's been there from the beginning of time? The truth is that the One Ring is the only thing that can destroy Sauron for good."
"You knew about this and didn't tell me?" Xena asked Gabrielle.
But Radagast whistled, and at the same time, an enormous bird high, high above the forest started gliding down. "I'll leave you two settle things up," he said. "Now I'm a bit in a hurry. Galadriel was extremely annoyed to learn that I had been using her mirror to look into the future and alter people's dreams. I must make it up somehow. Ta ta!" The bird landed down nearby, and they saw it was a noble eagle, and the wizard mounted onto its back with a young man's agility.
"Wait!" Xena yelled after him, "Tell me where they are!"
"At the Black Mountains," he yelled back while the eagle was already taking off. "Go straight up the hill from the Old Mulberry." And then his voice trailed away as the eagle gained altitude.
Xena let her gaze follow him until he vanished above tree tops. Then she turned back to Gabrielle who had gathered her courage to face her. The bard had some explaining to do, not just about the Ring itself, but also about her reasons to keep it secret from Xena as well. Finally Xena believed that she had done it all in good faith, believing to protect Xena's soul from the Ring and thus defend the world from Xena in the same time. Gabrielle's miserable, remorseful face gave her no option but to hug and forgive her.
The women walked back the path they had came from, and called for Joxer who soon appeared in front of them, claiming he had been covering their back. Knowing the truth, they let him think they believed his explanation, and found a place to camp for the night. In the morning, they headed for the Black Mountains which were about a half day march away. Xena found the Old Mulberry easily, as it had been one of her land marks when she had still lived in the town and hunted in these woods. It was a tree hundreds of years old, with a thick and hollow trunk, and limbs reaching sixty feet out. From there they took a direct course up the hill, and found a path.
"Why are they called Black Mountains?" asked Joxer, as he had noticed that they were not black in color, and hardly mountains in size. They were merely large hills. Xena explained that there was a well in a deep cave on the other side, where black oil gushed out, and the people of Rhosgobel had employed it for generations to make lamp oil.
They arrived at an opening where Xena saw many signs of humans having been there. "Careful now, Gabrielle," she said, and suddenly there was an arrow in the air, aimed at her chest. "Amateurs," she grunted as she easily caught it midair.
"Stop it right there," yelled the guard appearing behind a stone, and pulled another arrow out of his quiver. "Stay where I can see you and tell me who you are!"
"My name is Xena, and the next arrow you shoot will be your last. Take me to the city council. I need to talk to them."
"About what?"
"About ways to take back the town."
The young guard was not very helpful until Xena helped him to get rid of his bow, and used her sword to alter his attitude. His name was Ettin and he was sixteen. His strikingly blond hair was cut short, his slim face had paint to make him appear scarier. His deer-skin jacket was old and patched, but the boy underneath was in good shape and strong for his age.
Reluctantly he led them to a cave opening, and inside to the mountain. After the narrow opening the passage widened up and sloped slightly down, making a few sharp turns, and then suddenly, a brightly lit hall opened up before them.
They stood on a balcony several feet above the floor level, and marvelled at the enormous hall. If the floor was far below them, then the ceiling was even higher. Hundreds of lanterns and burning bowls lit the walls. Apparently, a word of their arrival had come before them as the people downstairs were in full alert. Dogs barked and a baby cried somewhere as they followed Ettin down the stone staircase, and then passed hundreds of silent, suspicious people on the way through the hall, just to arrive at another passage, and then another hall, only slightly smaller then the first one.
Still nobody spoke as they passed. The people just glared them suspiciously and warily, while keeping fires in simple fireplaces, and doing other tasks. Nearly every one of them were women, and if a man was seen, he was either very old, or very young, or crippled.
The third hall was the largest and brightest of all, due to a black lake of raw, unrefined oil in the middle, burning with small flame all over. No other light source was needed. The fire burned out the toxic gases, and a refreshing breeze took most of the bad smell away. The system was so clever that it had to be designed by the very best.
"These are Dwarven halls," Xena stated. She hadn't been aware about them, so they needed to be very new.
"You are right, Xena," answered an older woman making her way to the newcomers. She was sturdy, about Gabrielle's height, and her auburn hair with a hint of gray was loosely tied behind her head. "They thought they'd find gold here, but only found oil," she continued.
"Hello, mother," Xena said, "I've returned."
"So you have," said her mother in a cold tone. "Why?"
"To see that you're all right."
"Well, now you've seen it. You can go again."
"No! This isn't right. You're in exile from your own town. I'll help you get it back," Xena said.
"The last time you helped our town, you nearly destroyed it. No, we don't need that kind of help any more."
"It wouldn't go like that. Isn't that the matter of the city council to decide, anyway?"
"I am the city council, Xena. I've been ever since the last member of the last one died. I wish I could say you had nothing to do with that happening."
Xena had nothing to say against that, as it seemed that she couldn't make a sound argument. It was time for a professional to interrupt. "Come on!" yelped Joxer, "This is crazy!"
"Are you calling me crazy, young man," said Xena's mother sharply. "What's your name, anyway?"
Joxer's courage went quickly back where it had come from, and suddenly he could just stutter. "He is Joxer, and he has a point," said the young woman stepping from behind him to the front row, and offering her hand to the head of the city, who shook it a little surprised and introduced herself as Cyrene. "I am Gabrielle. I've been Xena's friend for years, and if she can't speak up for herself, then I will." And she turned about to address her words to everyone around. "She has changed after the last time you saw her. I can tell a thousand stories about it. You all know what she is capable of. Now she only uses her skills for good. Anyone who doesn't believe that she's your best, last and only hope right now, is a fool."
The crowd was silent, but Ettin coughed a couple of times and said, "We have sent out messengers. It's still possible that some of them will return with help."
"Right," Gabrielle retorted, "and waiting for that to happen, just how long do you think you could keep hiding here before your provisions run out, or Draco finds you? He will find you, eventually."
The people moved uneasily, looking at each other, and Cyrene wasn't so confident any longer, either. "What... what should we do, then?" she asked from Gabrielle, who again turned her gaze at her taller friend.
"Well," Xena started with hesitation, and cleared her throat. "You have to confront him sooner or later. At least you can choose the time and place to do that."
"Xena, we are not fighters. They were spent in your army, as were all the other men. To go up against Draco wouldn't do any good."
"I know. I'll think of something else if you let me."
Cyrene was still dubious, but the other people had been more affected by Gabrielle's speech, and they encouraged her to let Xena have a try. If the warrior princess couldn't come up with a feasible plan, they could still pull back. And so she decided to go along with them, which made especially the younger citizens hopeful and enthusiastic.
While forming up a plan, Xena put Gabrielle to find out what the people could do; what were their capabilities in combat, and what special skills they might have. In conclusion, there were fourteen men or women who could use a sword or other heavy weapon, and about four dozen boys and women, who could more or less use a bow. Then there was a bulky woman, strong like an ox, who had taken over her late husbands job as a blacksmith, even though she had never forged a weapon. A healer and a few carpenters, all woman, and a miscellaneous bunch of other professions; anything expected to be found in a usual town. The amount of capable fighters was small, but most of the remaining people could be trained.
Xena herself inspected the whole cave system which she found out to be enormous. There were seventeen larger halls and a countless number of smaller ones. Tunnels had been quarried deep into bedrock, and they were full of pits and other dangers, and many of them ended up into an oil well. Of the four exits the largest one had collapsed soon after the Dwarves had left out of frustration, but the other three were still usable. For two days she wandered in the tunnels, on tops of the mountains, and in the surrounding woods, until she finally came up with a plan.
Xena vs. The Lord of the Rings
Part 5: A funky town
5.3 - Draco's bane
It was a week after they had escaped from Rhosgobel when Xena was once more lurking outside the city wall. The town seemed as peaceful as ever. "Okay, Joxer. It's time," she said to the man by her side. "You know what to do. I'll see you get to other side, but after that you're on your own. We'll meet at the Black Mountains tomorrow."
The man nodded nervously, rose up, and adjusted his armor. Then he sprang into a run across the open field, but kept out of the range of the archers upon the city wall. The guards raised an alarm when he was over half the way, and soon a few men ran out and started to chase him. But at that time he was nearly in the cover of the forest on the other side, and Draco's men had no hope of catching him.
Xena watched him disappear in the thick woods long ahead of his pursuers, and she reckoned that he was safe, as he would now be out of their sight and they would have to track him down slowly. But she was wrong. As she turned and entered the woods herself, Joxer ran into two horsemen who had been scouting the surroundings. They captured him easily, and so he was dragged into the city once again.
The warrior princess had a bad feeling, and she returned to her hideout outside the city, just in time to see how Joxer was brought in by the horsemen. She cursed his bad luck and incompetence, and for a while she considered leaving him behind. But then again, Draco would certainly torture him to reveal the hiding place of the townspeople, and then he would kill him. That wouldn't be good. She had to help him, but how? Getting in wouldn't be any easier than a week before, and this time she couldn't count on Gabrielle to make a diversion. The bard was managing their defence preparations at the Black Mountains.
Xena was already prepared to take a risk when she heard noises on the road, coming towards her position. Soon a four wheeled cart pulled by two strong mules appeared from the woods. It was Draco's supply wagon. The warrior reacted quickly, and when the driver wasn't watching, she ran to the wagon from behind and slipped beneath it. There she clung to its bottom, and so she was driven safely into the city with groceries.
Finally inside, Xena waited for the proper moment, and then she bolted out and under cover without anyone seeing her. She started looking for Joxer in the stocks at the town square, but he wasn't there. In Draco's place there was nobody but Draco and few of his closest men. Listening to them she learned that Joxer had been put into the city prison to wait for questioning. However, when she got there, she found the cells empty.
Only a few minutes afterwards, the supply wagon had been unloaded, and it started out of the city once more. On its way out, too, it had a hidden passenger, who took off as soon as the wagon reached the rim of the forest. Joxer had escaped, and he thought he had done it most cleverly by stealing his guard's keys from upon his desk. Xena would be so proud of him. What he failed to notice in his enthusiasm, was a party of three men who very silently followed him into the woods. Up on the city wall, four smiling people saw this all; Draco, who smiled crookedly because Joxer the Stupid was about to lead his scouts to the townspeople. Two guards, who smiled only because Draco was smiling. And Xena, who smiled because things were going according to the plan.
----
Gabrielle walked up the tunnel leading outside, and heard a thunder storm over the mountain. It was still an early morning, but Joxer's snoring had woken him up. His return two nights earlier had been a sign that the conclusion was near, and Xena appearing only a few hours later had confirmed it.
She arrived at the tunnel opening where her best friend already kept shelter from the rain. "Good morning, Xena," she said.
"Good morning," the warrior answered.
"Couldn't sleep either, huh?"
"Hmm."
"What are you doing?"
"Just watching the storm."
"You like it? Figures."
"Yeah, I like it."
"Why? It's wet and cold and unfriendly in every way!"
"That's why most people avoid it, enemies included. It works in favour of defenders. That's why you should keep bad weather as your friend." That moment, a lightning bolt lit the sky, followed by thunder almost instantly. The storm was right over them. The bard shivered, but Xena uttered with admiration in her voice, "Can you but respect its power?"
"I respect it, but I still like the sun better."
"You're wish is soon coming true. It's already getting lighter at the horizon."
"I see that. Well, I'm glad the storm is soon over."
"It also means Draco's men will start preparing."
"Yeah. Let them come. We're prepared, so the sooner the better, right?"
"Right. You and me are used to waiting but these people aren't."
"Speaking of Draco, are you sure you can hold him long enough?" asked the bard with a concerned look.
Xena grinned, and looked her friend into eyes. "If I can take out four Elves, I can take a few easterlings."
"Maybe so, if only you had taken them out. They took you out, just to remind you."
"With practice weapons, yes. It's different with real ones, as you can't afford being careless. I could have won against them."
"And I won against you, so it should be me instead of you inside there."
"Gabrielle! Let's not go there, shall we," Xena groaned.
"Okay, okay," said the bard and backed off a little, before turning serious again. "I really think you should let me come with you."
"I know, but I need you on this side," Xena assured and held Gabrielle on her shoulder, "I need someone I can trust -- Someone who will get the job done. You don't like this because you think it's an easy job, but it's a critical one. Don't take any risks, though. If something goes wrong, I want you to lead the people into shelter and keep quiet. I don't want anyone to get hurt."
Gabrielle nodded, "And if that doesn't work? What's plan B?
"Well, the plan should be pretty foolproof, but..."
"What about Joxer-proof?" the bard interrupted.
Xena took a moment before she answered. "I'll try to get back as fast as I can. There are a few things that you could try, though. First, use your reputation."
"Uhm, I don't think I have any reputation."
"Among these men -- yes, you do. You'll see it yourself if you just stop to think about it. Second, if that runs out, use mine." The bard nodded, as this seemed like a much better resource to her. "Third, do what you do best."
"You mean, whack'em with my staff?" the bard said, and spinned her weapon.
"No. Talk their brains out. That's still your best skill. Fighting should always be the last resort. Yes, I know, I don't always play by that rule myself. Okay? Ready?"
"Yes, I hope."
"Good. Go wake up your team, and take your positions. We don't have much time."
The wait was long until at last Draco's men were seen under the hill. Xena blew into a horn, and the battle began. The Easterlings ran up the hill and met Xena's fighters at the cave opening. Soon they overpowered the defenders who had to retreat into the cave, where there was less space, and Xena alone could hold the tunnel while her troops reorganized. But even she had to pull back, and fighting all the way they arrived into the first cave, where a swarm of arrows welcomed them right after Xena had flipped out of the way. In that cave there was an open panic, as the last people were rushing out of the way of the enemy.
But Draco's men were well trained in combat. They brought strong shields, and arrows couldn't get to them. "Retreat!" Xena yelled to her troops while she stayed behind to defend the connecting passage. "Reform in the second chamber! Protect the weak."
"Xena! Give it up," shouted Draco, as he clashed together with her.
"No, Draco! These people haven't done anything to you! I'll defend them against you even if it's the last thing I'll do."
"And it will be if you won't surrender. Your army is too weak. I've seen them. They're just women and children, and their numbers are less than mine. I'll win, Xena."
"Why do you do this, Draco? Why do you fight for Sauron?"
"Well, I may as well tell you. I have a deal with the Big Guy. He promised me everything east from Mirkwood."
"And you believed him? You're not that stupid that you'd trust his word."
"No, I don't trust him for a second. But so far no one else has given a better offer. In the end, I'm going to stand on the winning side, and he's winning."
"Then I've got news for you. I have something to bring him down."
"Oh yeah? Show it, and we'll talk."
"Well, obviously I don't have it here with me."
"That's what I thought. Now stop talking and fight." With those words Draco pushed her through the second passage. She fought like a lioness protecting her young, but they were too many. Each time she struck one down, two more came through. The last of the townspeople had escaped to even more distant chambers, and soon the Easterlings saw despair on the faces of Xena's host. Even as they had to pull back tunnel after tunnel, hall after hall, chamber after chamber, the warrior princess didn't stop fighting.
But she was getting tired, and her host got smaller, and unable to give her any support. "Get back," she yelled to them, "Run to the last haven and set up the fort."
"Already finished, Xena?" Draco mocked, as he followed his tired prey giving weaker and weaker resistance, to a narrow and dark tunnel which soon opened up into a chamber lit brighter. There the tired woman suddenly straightened up, and kicked his opponent hard to his chest, making him fly back against his troops, and block the way in.
"No, I'm not finished yet," she said, and made a backflip to the opposite wall with another tunnel end. "But you are," she continued, took her chakram and grinned, peering up at the ceiling.
"Get back!" yelled Draco to his men entering from the tunnel behind him. He was panicking. "Go back! It's a trap!"
And then the roof came down.
----
On the other side of the mountain, Gabrielle sprang up. "Now! Get the gate," she yelled, and all the people ran out from their hiding places. Hastily they removed trees and bushes camouflaging a heavy door, and using ropes and rolls they started to pull it towards the cave opening, Gabrielle supervising their work. The people were nervous but they made steady progress, so she thought she should go into the cave to make sure it was still safe, and Joxer took over.
"Come on, pull it! Yeah, just like that," the man guided. "Good, very good. Keep it coming... good... A little left now. Left I said! What the... My left, not yours! Look out!"
Just when Gabrielle got to the cave, she heard Joxer's panicked yells behind her, followed by a huge crash. She turned around and saw that the worst had happened. One of the rolls had turned sideways and the door had fallen down, breaking up. All the people were dead quiet, and their faces had desperate looks. They looked at her, like she could undo the misfortune.
She ran to the door to check the damage, then turned to the carpenter. "Can it be repaired?" she asked.
"Yes, but we don't have the time," said the sturdy woman with tension in her voice.
"How much do you need?"
"At least half an hour, and I'll need everybody's help. But they'll be here in twenty minutes."
"No, they won't. Not if I can help it," said the young woman quietly. With determination she started to stride back to the cave. Ettin intercepted her, and said he wanted to fight with her and stall the enemy. Soon he got most of the young and eager local warriors to join him, but she told them otherwise. "You stay here and help the carpenter. Just fix that gate! And pray that Xena gets here in time."
----
Draco's men smelt the trap, and ran like they had never run before. They got to the main entrance, just to see that the passage there was on fire. Flames rose from the bare sand on the floor. "What sorcery is this?" one of the thugs asked in awe.
"It's not sorcery, you idiot," Draco yelled. "It's oil. It means we can put it out. Throw sand into it." A good idea with one problem; the fire burned too hot so that any man could go anywhere near. When Draco noticed this, he cursed Xena, and said to his men, "Don't worry, it won't burn forever. We'll get out."
There had been only a limited amount of oil which was quickly burnt out. Draco's men stomped out the last flames separating them from freedom. But right then, another burst of flames rose up ten yards further, and in front of those a hooded figure appeared. This figure was fully cloaked, holding a white staff; a silhouette standing there with flames behind. The effect was dramatic.
For a while everything was still. The men couldn't help but stare at the immobile warrior who watched them back with eyes dimly glimmering behind the hood like distant stars. At last, one of Draco's men broke silence, breaking into the first row. "It's the Shadow! What did I tell you, and you didn't believe me? He does exist!"
"Shut up, Gormstoolm," Draco said, and watched his opponent sharply. "You were in town, rescuing that spy with Xena," he stated, expecting the other to say something. But that didn't happen. "Well, you really think you can hold us all?" he continued, straightening up and pulling on a self-confident grin.
Under her hood, Gabrielle swallowed, and clenched the staff tighter. If they really wanted, they could easily overpower her.
"What's your name?" Draco asked, but she kept her facade, remaining silent. "Still playing mysterious, aren't you?" he added. "I must admit you're doing a good job. Being a girl, that is." A rustle went through his men, and the bard shivered. Draco saw this, and triumphantly shouted at his troops, "She's only a woman! She can't possibly be any threat to us. You, Jax, go get her."
So this was it. A man separated from the group, and approached Gabrielle. Suddenly, he started to run at her, sword first. Then he met the bard, and suddenly again, he lay very still.
"Xena is only a woman," Gabrielle stated as her opening line. "Would you challenge Xena?" She said it quietly, but her words echoed in the cave, and every man, even those at the very back, could hear them.
"Even Xena can't beat us all," Draco responded.
"Maybe not, but you wouldn't want to test her," she said. She pulled her hood down and let her blond hair lie freely. Another rustle went among the troops, as they saw her innocent face uncovered. Even Draco got lost in his thoughts for a while. "So, what gave me away?" she continued.
"Um, what do you mean?"
"How did you know I was a woman?"
"Oh, that. Your hands. Too small, too petite. Not manly at all."
"Oh," Gabrielle said, glancing at her palms. "Quite clever."
"Thank you. Now, we would like to get out of this hole. You two," he addressed his words to two men at his left, "Get her out of the way. And, please, be more subtle than Jax." The men he had spoken to, approached her and attacked, just to meet the floor after a very brief fight.
"Bravo! I'm impressed," said Draco dryly, slowly clapping his hands. "Never let anyone else do the job you can do yourself." He raised his sword, and picked another from one of his men, and approached.
Gabrielle realized that her time was running out. Once Draco got tired playing with her, she would be history. "Draco, just out of curiosity; have you ever beaten Xena in a fight?"
"What kind of a question is that?"
"I'll take that as a no. I just thought I should inform you, that I have."
"You! You've beaten Xena? Was she asleep at the time? Oh, let me laugh!" And he did. And then he attacked, thinking to get her by surprise. He couldn't have been more wrong. He came in, using both his swords, but the woman was able to parry him, although barely. Then she made a strike at his right arm, that made him lose a sword. Her next strike was a miss as he tumbled out of her reach. "Is that the best you can do?" he mocked at a short distance away.
"Yes," Gabrielle answered, "and this is the worst." And she twisted her weapon which clicked, and out popped the sharp spear heads.
"Cute AND spunky. I like that," Draco said. He still smiled, but now the smile was constrained and forced. He was getting worried for the first time. It was clear that a single, skilled warrior could hold this narrow passage quite a long time, and if this young woman really was a match to Xena, she might succeed. There was something screwy going on, he could smell it. He took a few steps back, and quietly called; "Archers." He just wanted to get out before the plan, what ever it was, was completed.
That was the time Gabrielle decided that she had done everything she could. She used her spear to smash an oil barrel into pieces, and with another hit she dropped a lamp from its wall mount to the middle of the leaking oil, thus igniting it. Flames hit the ceiling and gave her time to pull back safely as the Easterlings couldn't stand the heat. She ran out and found out that the door was fixed, and they pushed it against the cave opening. It wouldn't hold Draco forever but they would strengthen it by piling up stones against it.
The defenders watched their work in quiet, until suddenly, someone realized that it was all over and they had won, as the raiders were now safely trapped inside the mountain for good. The joy in their hearts was inconceivable, and they held each other, and wept in relief. Gabrielle had to sit down on a stone, and let the stress wear off. People came to thank her of her wise leadership, and wanted to know what had happened in the cave, but she only warned them not to tell Xena anything about it. And then she noticed a familiar figure running up the slope, and soon the warrior stopped in front of her.
"Xena! Finally. I was worried about you," said the bard lying upon her rock, and still gathering her strength.
"I came as fast as I could. Did it go as planned?"
"Like a dream!"
"Oh yeah? No setbacks?"
"Not a single one."
"Uh-huh? So, why's the gate upside down?"
"Oh, you noticed. You know, a funny thing happened..." But stalling was of no use. Gabrielle had played and lost. She had to tell the whole story, and observe how Xena's look got more and more tense as she neared the end.
A long silence followed the story. "Xena, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I realize it was a great risk that I took, and I know you want to protect me from any danger. But I wouldn't have done it if there had been any other way. It was the townspeople I was thinking about. You know, the greater good and stuff."
Xena frowned and said slowly, "You know I hate it when you act like a hero, but that's only because I care about you, and don't want you getting hurt. Heroes risk their own lives instead of others. You've always had a hero's heart, Gabrielle, and what you did today was a hero's thing to do. It was the right thing."
"So... you accept it?"
"Well.. yeah, for now. But if the next time you get killed trying something like that, I swear I'll have your hide!"
"Thank you, Xena," Gabrielle said, and placed her hand on Xena's, who took it and squeezed tenderly. "You don't know how much that meant to me."
"No, thank you. You saved the town,"
"...like you had nothing to do with it," the bard continued mischievously.
"Well..." the warrior started, but then she glanced her friend, and laughed. "I've taught you too well."
"Yes, I guess you have," said Gabrielle, and grinned. "But I couldn't have dared to do it without this spear Galadriel gave me. It's amazing!"
"So it seems. But still, to go alone against all those thugs. And Draco! The situation was scary, but you pulled it off very well."
"Scared?! Me? Naah, they were only two hundred."
"Seriously?"
"Nearly wet my pants."
----
The townspeople gathered together, and the following day they marched to Rhosgobel. A few of Draco's men had stayed in the town to keep it guarded, but they surrendered without a fight when they saw all the people at their gates, and Xena in the lead. They were stripped of their weapons and equipment, and banished from the town, barefoot and disgraced.
After that was the time to celebrate. No one remembered having doubts about Xena only a few days before, as her plan had been an utter success. They had reclaimed their town, captured the conqueror, and lost none of their own. The only few injuries had happened when people had tripped on their way out of the cave, and sprained an ankle, and things like that.
Cleaning up the city was the next task, and Xena started it by helping her mother putting the tavern up once more. It was a job of one full day; still the tavern was one of those settlements with less damage. In the evening, the warrior was resting and sipping ale on the porch with Gabrielle and Joxer, looking at the slowly recovering town, when her mother joined them.
"Thank you, Xena," said Cyrene. "I feed bad about not trusting you. I hope you can forgive me."
"Mother, there's nothing to forgive. You had every right to doubt me or be angry at me. I'm the one who should be sorry. Not because of what happened ten years ago, as nothing can forgive me that, but because I didn't come to see you sooner."
"You're here now, and I'm glad you are. Tell me, how you've been?"
"Better, all the time. I've had ups and downs, but I'm going in the right direction now." She threw a quick glance at the blonde woman standing nearby.
"I'm glad. And your son?"
"My son is... safe. I, err..." She turned her eyes away and down. Her mother looked at her suspiciously, but her face was nothing compared to Gabrielle's.
"You have a child, Xena?" yelled the bard dumbfoundedly.
"Uh-huh."
"And you never told me about him!"
"You never asked."
"I'm asking now!"
"Later, Gabrielle."
"No, not later. Now, Xena. Now! Or I'll walk right out of here."
Xena saw the young woman was serious. "Okay, okay, what do you want to know?" she said.
"Everything, Xena. When did it happen? Where's he now? Who's the father?"
They moved inside from the porch, and Xena started her story. "After being beaten by the Elves of Lorien, I gathered my remaining troops and moved north. While my men tended their wounds, I decided to inspect the northern folk a little closer. That's how I ran into Grimbeorn. I saw his people as an enemy, but he didn't recognize me at all. On the contrary, he invited me as a guest in his house, and there I spent weeks. We were so much alike; wild, hot tempered, arrogant."
"Did you love him?" asked the bard.
"I don't know. Possibly yes, but I couldn't see it at the time, even less admit it. Nevertheless, it didn't last forever, as Grimbeorn's father, Old Beorn, had finally found out about me, and his temper was hotter than his son's. One evening he came to me and... I'll save you from the details. We fought, he lost. I really didn't have a choice, it was him or me. Then I ran, and Grimbeorn ran after me, wanting to revenge his father's death. But little did he know that I was already expecting his child."
"Then I went back to my troops who were waiting for me a few days march away. I tried to raise them against Grimbeorn, but I had been away too long, and they revolted with their new leader. They made me walk the gauntlet, which I barely survived. For seven months I lived in the Mirkwood as a refugee, chased both by Beornings and my own men. When the delivery was near, the latter nearly caught me, but Thorongil saved me from them. Then he helped me deliver. He had learned my story from Grimbeorn, but he didn't let it blind him. Maybe he still saw some goodness in me, as he didn't turn me in. I was amazed, but I still kept my distance. Soon I realized I couldn't fight all my enemies and keep my son at the same time, so I returned home to give him to my mother to raise. But she didn't want to hear about me, and so again I was alone with Solan. That's his name. Alone and rejected I decided to leave this land behind, and left south, but then I was attacked by another old enemy; the Orcs of Dol Guldur. I couldn't defend my child against them all, but after some complex turns, Thorongil saved me and my child again. Then I decided to give my baby to him, and he said that he would keep him safe. That was the last time I saw him, before this fall."
"And you don't even know where he is? Can't you ask Strider about it?"
"I don't think he'd tell me."
"So, your son would be, what? Seven by now? Makes me wonder..."
"What, Gabrielle? Are you hiding things from me again?"
"No, no! Just a thing I had forgotten. I saw a child when we were in Lorien. I didn't think it was important, but he was a dark haired boy of about seven. Galadriel called him Estel, though. She didn't seem pleased when she caught him watching you and me."
"Gabrielle, that must be him. That must be Solan! No wonder I couldn't find him. It never occurred to me that he could be living with the Elves."
"So, let's go see him," said the bard. "You do want to see him, don't you?"
But Xena pulled back, saying she had think about it. There was so many things she had to consider. How would it affect the child if she appeared? What would he think of her? Would the Elves allow her to meet him at all? It was a decision she needed to ponder with time, and fortunately, now she had the time.
Two months later, the city was mostly repaired, Xena's relationships with the townspeople had been reformed, the bandits had been imprisoned, and she had made her decision. And so, one cold February morning, while Joxer the Mighty was left to defend the town, the woman headed back to Lorien.
End of part 5.
May 1, 2002, Man of Void (mov@iki.fi)
Updated: August 18, 2003