A Fanfic by Yomi no Miko
Chapter 13: Death
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After that evening I decided that I couldn't wait anymore. I had to regain control over my own life and to fight for my goals as it always had been.
I thought about what happened, I mean, about what almost happened between Kurama and I. I just couldn't understand the reason why I acted the way I did. Even after all the crazy things I did for him, it was that time that I realized that I loved him, as I had never loved anyone in my whole life. I just couldn't deny it any longer. What for? Kurama had started ruling my heart and my thoughts since the first time I saw him. It was like a sickness and yet, I didn't want to be cured.
In the past, an old demon told me that youkai can't love, that feelings like that are a human weakness. At least in one thing I had to agree with him. It was a hell of a weakness. How could that kid have such power over me?
Unnecessary to mention I didn't have courage to talk to him about our little moment near the lake. I knew he wouldn't believe me anyway. Even though, I hoped he'd remember it one day...
Also, I couldn't help noticing how much Kurama changed after he was set free. In the first days, I thought it was just an effect of all he had been through. Besides, it was not only him who seemed different. Even Kaizo became more quiet and less provocative. Kurama's imprisonment wasn't a secret to anyone. Maybe only then those boys realized that Kurama and Najah's affair wasn't something to play with. I had never seen those tunnels so silent as in those Spring days.
Kurama was the quietest of all. His body healed as fast as he had told me, but sorrow seemed to be the deepest of his wounds. He didn't talk to me anymore. He hardly answered to my worried questions. No swimming, no reading, no robbing. He just spent hours lay on the floor, in his fox aspect, behaving like one. Then he'd sleep, wake and wander the woods. Many nights he wouldn't return. He didn't seem to care about anything or anyone. Worst of all, each day he was more distant... even from me.
As for Najah, no one had seen him those days. He disappeared from the underground. Deep inside, I wished he'd never come back again.
On the day he returned, Kurama left the tunnels early in the morning. I didn't even get to see him leaving... However, although I was preoccupied with his recent attitudes, knowing that he'd not spent the whole day sleeping made me happy. I thought that could mean a good sign.
Some moments later, I found something in my pocket. It was a little piece of that leaf-like yellow surface, covered with weird signs. I had seen that kind of material many times in Kurama's hands. I figured out it was a kind of message, left to me by Kurama while I was sleeping. That made me confuse. How would I know what was it about if I didn't know how to read?
The night came and Kurama didn't return. It was raining like hell. All the boys were in the main room, as usual. Some played cards, other made bets. Kaizo was quiet and alone, sat near Koji who slept peacefully.
I came next to him. I knew he was able to read. He once told me that before Kurama was taken to the underground, Najah used to teach the kids. So I asked him to read that piece of paper for me. He took a quick glance at the message and then stared at me.
"I don't love you. Please go away."
"Hn??"
"It's what the message says..."
"It can't be... Read it again."
"Kurama left you that..."
Najah entered the room. The silence caused by his entrance made us forget about the message. It was the first time he appeared in more than thirty days. He sat in his habitual armchair and stared at us. The younger youkai seemed frightened and he certainly noticed it. He asked about Kurama. Kaizo told him that the youko had left in the morning and yet didn't return. Then Najah ordered him to stay outside and wait for Kurama. I saw that Kaizo made an angry expression as he obeyed.
Only then I realized that Najah was observing me. I managed to face him back. I wanted to challenge him so bad that I didn't mind being reckless.
I saw when he called one of the kids and told him something in private. The boy came towards me.
"The master wants to speak to you, follow me." I did as I was told, as I tried to erase any trace of fear from my troubled expression.
I was taken to a small chamber, distant from the main area of the underground. I guess I never got to know all those tunnels very well even after I was given a copy of the famous Kurama's map. That place looked rather familiar to me. I remembered that it was the room where I had seen Kurama being beaten up over one year ago, in my first day as Najah's guest. That made me fell a chill.
Najah entered. He took a long gaze at me. I noticed that there was a certain grief in his expression.
"Horns?" He asked.
"Quite so."
"Just wait till they're large. Horns aren't good for anything but pain and discomfort."
"They're power signs."
"Do you really believe in this nonsense? Take this childish idea out of your mind. Power comes from youki. It isn't got anything to do with horns, wings, fangs, scales or... whatever."
I could fell my blood boil. That bastard... as if the things he did were not bad enough, he also thought he could treat me as one of his juvenile servants.
Then, he caught a dagger and pointed it towards his own belly.
"Let make things clear, Yomi. If you want to kill me, do it now, 'cause it's going to be your last chance."
I didn't move, too shocked with his attitude.
"Well, since you decided to remain still, I think we can talk like adults... By the way, how old are you?"
"Almost a hundred."
"You're just a kid. Nevertheless you seem to be a little more experienced than the other boys that I've welcomed here. An impetuous kid, perhaps. One day you will learn to control yourself if you live and if you are lucky enough for that."
"Who do you think you are? A clairvoyant?" I asked, trying to dominate the fear. He interrupted me.
"I'm not finished yet. Don't miss the chance to listen when someone over ten times older than you speaks."
He was so old. Probably one of the ancient demons who used to cross the barrier between worlds. For any youkai like me, it was like an impossible dream to be face to face with one of those great figures of the past. Damn, I knew he was old, I knew he was powerful, but not that much...
He continued.
"You've got potential. I can feel some power in you. Have you ever thought about learning how to develop it?"
"Yes, I mean... well. It's not of your concern."
"I think you should try to learn something useful. As far as I know, you're just a mediocre swordsman."
That was to much for me to stand. I tried to hit him but before I could touch him I felt my body paralyze. A strange energy wrapped me up and I couldn't move no matter how hard I tried.
"Relax, kid. Don't fight with your body, do it with your mind, with your spirit."
He didn't move a finger but, somehow, he attacked me. I felt a sharp pain run along my spine. The more I struggled, the less I could move.
"Stupid boy. Concentrate!"
I stopped. All my effort had been useless anyway. For no reason, I decided to follow the old man's advice. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. The pain started to fade. I wasn't so tired anymore. Then, the energy was gone.
"Very nice...You did very well for someone who had never manifested power before."
That did make me confused. I hated that youkai for the things that he did with the person that I loved but, at that moment, I'd be capable of kissing him for what he had just done for me. I didn't know what to say.
"So... Do you still hate me that much?"
"I don't hate you," I answered, not knowing if I was lying or not.
"Sure you do. You know I'm cruel to Kurama... and you are in love with him, isn't that true? Or a youkai like you wouldn't be living in a place like this. You entered this room with hate in your eyes and now you're confused because my attitudes surprised you. Don't get me wrong, Yomi, but you're a very predictable youkai."
"You know nothing about me." I affirmed. There was nothing else I could say.
"Is that so? Tell me if I'm wrong. Your appearance says that you came from the South of the Makai. You're a half-breed youkai, and, naturally you hate to be reminded of that. Probably you used to have a pathetic mother and several brothers, but no father. Your family made your life a living hell even though you loved them and tried your best to prevent them from starving. One day, for no particular reason, you got sick of it and left. As you had your mind full of illusions, you traveled around this land, searching for adventure but instead you found as much misery as you had in your homeland. Somehow you managed to survive. Years later you decided to go west in order to join Raizen's army and become a real soldier. So, how was I?"
It was like if he had read my mind. Everything he said was right... well, almost everything. More than surprised, his words made me terribly embarrassed. No one had even spoken like that to me before. I was so angry and ashamed that I couldn't stand his stare anymore.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of, kid. There aren't any golden cradles in this land. You've got potential. Don't waste it. The rest in unimportant."
"Why are you telling me all that?" I asked.
"You can leave now," he spoke, turning his back to me.
"Please, answer my question."
"I'm old," he said, without moving, "I know that my end in near. It's time, I lived much more than I intended to live. I don't know why, but I felt that I had the obligation of helping you, even if only a little, to get rid of this great ignorance of yours. Now go!"
I obeyed. I didn't know if I was feeling anger, pity or respect for
that youkai. Maybe all at the same time, I guess. I returned to the room
where I was before, still not knowing what to think. I remembered Kurama.
It was night and yet he didn't come back. I ended up not worrying so much
about him, believing that the storm had prevented him from returning home.
Most of the kids slept. It didn't take much for me to join them.
An unexpected roar woke up us all of a sudden. It was dawn. The sleepy kids got up at once, with clumsy movements. There was no doubt about what was happening. The underground hidden-place was being invaded. No one knew about Kaizo, Kurama or Najah. Without the usual leaders those kids seemed rats in a trap. I had to kick some butts before any defensive act could be started.
However, all our efforts were useless. As the invaders came forwards, we had to retreat. In fact, we were being pushed towards the narrower passages, to the dead end. Najah's kids could be experts as thieves but they knew nothing about direct confrontations. Many died in the first few minutes of that hell as they tried desperately to strike back or to run away. Only then I realized that the time I had spend as a soldier wasn't such a waste after all. I had to defend the youger boys and myself as well. Even though I did the best I could, Koji and I were the only ones to reach Najah's chambers. I called for him but there was no answer. Koji screamed as a sharp arrow-like metal crossed his chest. I knew he was dying but I couldn't leave him behind, so I carried him through the dark corridor, not minding if he was still alive or not. Finally, I found Najah, sat on the floor in one of the last compartments. He was apathetic and distant as if his soul had left his body.
"Najah, get up. We've got to leave this place!"
Koji didn't breathe any longer. I laid him on the floor.
"Dammit, Najah! Do something. They're all dead and you let it happen you great son of a bitch! Where's that great power of yours now? They're almost here!"
Then my body was thrown against the stone wall. The blow was so violent that for an instant I could see no more than a black space in front of my eyes. I though I'd pass out, but somehow my senses didn't fade completely. I even recognized that energy.
"Najah... why?"
"Stay out of this, kid. That's between he and me."
I noticed that the invaders were already inside, but I couldn't move a finger. There was blood everywhere, on my hands, my clothes and even inside my mouth. I couldn't feel anything.
I expected that room to be invaded by a bunch of those brutal youkai but that didn't happen. Only one of them came. I couldn't see clear but I'd be impossible not to recognize him. Kurama had jut entered. I tried to call him but my voice failed. For a moment I believed that he had come for us.
"You're late," said Najah, "I'm here, my son."
He got near to Kurama, silent.
"Have mercy for a weak old youkai, my beautiful child," Najah whispered as he caressed some traces of Kurama's hair.
Then he got on his knees and hugged him tight. As far as I could see, Kurama was still like a piece of stone. The youkai kissed him.
"Thank you, my son. I hope you'll forgive me one day..."
I don't remember the rest of scene. I must have fainted before it came
to an end.
I have no idea for how long did I sleep. When I woke up I felt like I had been sleeping for weeks. Only some minutes later my memory came back to me and I started to remember what had happened. Although I couldn't see very well, I realized I was still in the same place. It was still dark, but not as dark as before.
I tried to move, but I felt like if my body had been ground. It took me a great effort to seat. Sight became more clear little by little. The first thing I could distinguish was the shape of Kurama's body, also seated on the floor. The second was Najah. He was lying down in front of him.
I called him, but he didn't answer. I managed to drag myself towards him. Najah was dead. There was a kind of plant all around his huge body. He had been strangled by it.
I stared at the youko. There was tiny drops of blood on his face, but no wounds that I could see. He was staring the corpse emotionlessly. He didn't blink; it was like he was dead too. I called him several times. I tried to shake him wake, but nothing seemed to help.
I sat beside him. Then I started to think about all that terrible mess around me. Kurama had finally had his revenge, which took not only Najah's life, but destroyed all that could be related to him as well. It had been like a fury outbreak, or worse. At that time, I wasn't aware enough to question myself how could he have done all that on his own...
He stayed like that for a long time. I wanted to get out of that place so bad, but at the same time I knew I'd be incapable of leaving him behind. Besides, I was too beaten to carry him. So, I remained there, waiting.
Then he started to tremble lightly. His breathing accelerated. A pair of bloody tears rolled down his cheek. It was like if reality had finally become accessible to his senses. Kurama cried out and twisted his own body backwards, covering his face with his hands. I just watched while he wept like a helpless child. I've never seen anyone so desperate and miserable in my whole life. I didn't know what to do.
"What have I done?" he repeated a couple of times in such a low tone that it made me conclude that he was asking no one but himself. I decided it was time for me to do something.
"It's over now, Kurama. Let's get out of this damned tunnels..."
He wasn't crying anymore but his face was still hidden behind his arms and knees.
"C'mon... This place isn't good for you," I insisted.
As he didn't move, I tried to hold him, in order to help him to stand up, but he pushed me so hard that I fell on my back. His movement was so abrupt that I had no chance of avoiding it.
A push... a little sample of what would come next.
"It was you..." he said with a trembling voice. He was looking at me then, with terrifying mixture of rage and despair reflected on his eyes, "It'd never have happened if you weren't here and I hate you for that... I killed my own father... I'm lost forever."
In a fast move, the tormented youko ran to the button of the room. There
were some barrels there and he promptly knocked them over, spilling its
content on the ground. It was the oil, which feed all the lamps that illuminated
the underground. Then he threw a candle against it. The fire grew with
amazing speed. The flames spread so fast that in a blink of an eye I couldn't
reach Kurama anymore. There was a wall of fire between us and no way out
on his side. I called for him, I tried all that I could to find a way to
put the fire out, but there was nothing I could use and no one to help
us. Only after I couldn't see Kurama anymore that I started to get worried
about my own escape. I ran as I never had run before, the faster I could,
not minding the corpses on my way. By the time I left the subterranean
tunnels, I was already feeling the smoke suffocating me. I kept on running
till I reached the lake. I couldn't think. It was like my legs were moving
on its own will. I dove into the waters, feeling its freshness run through
my body. I don't remember much of what happened after that. I guess I just
got out of the water and fell to the ground, completely exhausted.
When I opened my eyes, it was morning again. I stood up and saw the trail of smoke scratching the sky. I returned immediately.
In the place where the entrance used to be located, there was no more than burned land, so hot and deteriorated as hell's ground should be. The fire had destroyed all the complex support of those tunnels, burying the tragedy of the day before with it.
Before such desolated view, I couldn't hide myself in a meaningless hope. Kurama was dead. I was absolutely certain of that. His destiny had been fulfilled. He'd find some peace at least, or so I thought, trying to find some sense in that bitter end, although sadness only became more overwhelming as minutes passed.
I felt something slide down my face. I cleaned it with my fingers, certain
that it'd be some more blood drops from a cut on my cheek. I was wrong.
The drops weren't red. They were transparent. A tear. The first and the
least that I shed in my life.
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Shrine to Yomi-Sama -