MEMORIES
Fanfic by Yomi no Miko


Chapter 22: A small victory
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Kurama buried Naomi in the woods. The death of the human girl upset him a great deal. It was like he knew the girl had been murdered but he couldn't prove. I was the one who could provide him a little proof, but Hiyuga managed to keep me silent. As for me, I never thought the loss of a weird looking chick could have any connection with the crisis that was yet to come.

The winter that followed was one of the worst periods for us all. Snow was too thick for us to leave the fortress. The only one that did it on a regularly bases was Kurama. Not even Hekel knew where he went. It seemed that he was acting on his own and no one could guess what the hell he was doing anyway. All that I knew for sure was that he and Hekel weren't so close anymore. However, Hekel had his own diehard allies, while Kurama insisted on his somehow inflexible ways. As a leader, Kurama was able to come up with the most unpredictable ideas, and he definitely knew to take the best advantage of working with a crew, but on the other hand, he didn't know how to compromise. He was too independent and self-assured for that. The band was a mere tool for him and that would never change. Without Hekel's support, Kurama increased our list of enemies. And no matter how strong we were, no one likes to make foes in both sides of the border. Besides, there were rumors again. A lot of them. Rumors that made the thieves uneasy. Some feared that we could be invaded anytime.

When there was nothing else I could do to calm those youkai, I decided that it was time for someone to talk to the leader, since there was no use talking to Hekel anymore. The worse things got, the better for him, or so it seemed.

One day Hiyuga told me that Kurama was alone in the main room. It was the chance I expected. I hoped that finally we were going to have an adult conversation, since my purpose was a hundred percent professional. Once more, I was mistaken.

"You what? Who are you to tell me what to do?"

"I'm just reminding you that the guys out there are all shook up. No one tells them anything! Listen, why have we stopped? What have you been doing outside the territory all these day? Don't you know that asshole partner of yours is spreading lots of bullshit about you?"

"Get the fuck outta here, Yomi. Mess with your own life. I don't care if those youkai are so stupid or what, I don't give a shit. I'm not holding anyone here. They can leave."

Something was happening. I knew that, but what? There was no point arguing with Kurama if he didn't tell me.

"Kurama... I didn't come here to pick up a fight with you. If there's something wrong, just tell me what it is! You know you can trust me. I..."

"Cut it off, Yomi. Look, once you told me you wanted to leave. Why don't you just do it?"

"Cause I'm stupid enough to care about you, that's why!"

"At least you know what you are."

"What the fuck you do that for? Do you think I'll love you for the rest of my life? One day, Kurama, I 'll forget you. Or better than that, I 'll look behind and feel sorry for you."

I turned my back to him and left the room. I don't know where those words came from and probably I regretted them the minute I stepped outside. I must have sounded as bitter as him. Nevertheless, I had to carry on. I was tied to the band and its fate and, at the same time, I wished to have a goal of my own. So far, so close. That's how I felt at that time.




After that last quarrel with Kurama, I decided to take care of my life. There was nothing left for me to do. So, I got back to training as hard as I could. I cut out the booze (or most of it) and all the little lies that kept me all those years like a dog following its own tail. Kurama despised me but I had become one of his commanders anyway. All I needed was focus. I even asked Hiyuga to teach me how to read which turned out to be a lot easier than I thought.

When the spring began, I picked up some guys and created a separate faction inside the band. For the start, we chose easy and small targets. I knew Kurama wouldn't mind that, but at that point I didn't mind his opinion as well. As a matter of fact, we became quite popular among the thieves. Our plans were simpler, easier and far more direct. As the weeks passed, we became more audacious and imprudent. Many of my followers died. And as they were also band members, I was accused of putting the whole band in danger. Finally, I had made a hell of a reputation for myself. Everyday I had to meet one of the Hekel's friends and give lots of explanations about my group activities. They tried to threaten me but the only thing I'd listen would be the leader himself. However, Kurama still didn't seem to bother yet.

Summer passed and we became even more active than the official band. For each attack lead by Kurama, there was other ten lead by me. I believed that ignoring me was his way to deal with the situation. Maybe his way to punish me too.

The leaves were already covering the ground when I decided to attack a fortress which wasn't so distant from Kurama's territory. It was known for being a poor and desolated place, but I convinced my group that it could worth the effort. However, the whole action was like a living nightmare. The fortress was a living trap. Most of my crew was wounded as we passed the gates. The wise thing to be done was to retreat but I didn't give up. There was something about that place I had to find out. But as I crossed a long passageway, I was caught in a trap. Everything happened so fast that I couldn't avoid it. The floor just disappeared under my feet and I fell into a cave. I was surrounded by the enemy. Anger was even greater than my fear. How could I be defeated like that?

Those youkai wicked smiles gave me a hint of what was ahead. Probably I would be tortured for days and even so I hoped that they didn't know that I was related to Kurama. I'd be very humiliating to be used as a hostage or something. I was about to try my last defensive resource (a pretty useless one, as a matter of fact) when I heard screams. Dead bodies fell like stones into the cave. Then I saw Kurama, standing on the border of that stinking hole staring at me with cold golden eyes. Kurama always knew how to make someone feel like shit just by the look in his eyes. I was glad and angry at the same time. I didn't know what to think.

"If you go on like that, you'll find yourself nothing but trouble."

He turned his back to me and disappeared. Some days later, I got to know that the place I attacked belonged to an ally. My lack of prudence cost Kurama the lives of fifteen youkai and one precious partnership.

I may look like madness now, but I kept doing whatever I wanted, despite all threats and advises. The fortress attack reminded me that Kurama's attitudes still could make my blood boil. No matter how many successful assaults we had had, Kurama still thought he was my boss, and worse, that he could treat me like a child.

Nevertheless I was still a member of the band. One of the main commanders, despite all Hekel's conspiracy against me. Not that he cared so much about all the youkai I lead to death. Since he couldn't have me as his new plaything, he decided to be my shadow.




I pushed the situation as far as I would. In less than one year those adventures cost the lives of over thirty thieves. It was painful and insane must of times, but my will was stronger than any sense of reason. I knew each time I left, Hekel put pressure on Kurama, trying to make him stop me. And all I got to know was that Kurama refused to listen, which was a strange behavior indeed. Kurama always cared for his followers, in a very pragmatic way, but he did. He hardly attended the high rank reunions. Even I was more assiduous than him. There was something happening. Maybe if I weren't so involved in my own plans, I would have guessed what. Kurama had rescued me that night and I just could not figure out his reason. Did he care about me? Could that be really possible or was I just trying to fool myself one more time?

At the first night of snow, there was another of those tense reunions, but at that time, Kurama was there since the beginning. It was the first time I saw him since the end of fall. Hekel spent most of time trying to convince everybody that the thieves acted too recklessly and therefore our territory was too vulnerable. He spoke about what we should and should not do in case of invasion. I noticed Kurama wasn't paying attention at all and I couldn't blame him for that. It was a very boring speech, although Hekel was known to be a nice blabber. But in the end, he revealed his real purpose by accusing me of being the main responsible for the bands current problems and for creating a faction of my own. Moreover, he demanded a punishment for my subversive manners.

"How can we trust a commander who disappears for days? Who kills our subordinates. Who convince them to join to most absurd assaults!"

"I'm not acting against Kurama's orders!" I said, standing. I would never allow that jerk to call me a traitor "People follow me 'cause they want to! I never told them to be unloyal to Kurama and I never will. You all fucking know that!"

At least we made that reunion a little more exciting.

"You aren't the leader. It's not up to you to decide if what you're doing is right."

"And who is supposed to do that? You, Hekel? You're not the leader too."

"So that's it. You need Kurama to tell you, that's fine. Kurama, tell him. Let's put an end to this madness."

Everybody in that room stared at Kurama. The youko seemed absent-minded, but as soon as the attentions turned to him, he rose his eyes to me.

"Let him kill himself, Hekel. I don't give a damn about it anyway."

"But Kurama, and the..."

"I've answered your question. Now what?"

Hekel frowned. I knew that his words would not be easily forgotten, and that from that night on, I'd be seen as nothing but a trouble-maker. However, I enjoyed my little victory with delightful pleasure.


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Shrine to Yomi-Sama -