Chapter 5

Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos - your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape

                ~Evanescence, Imaginary

Will was waiting anxiously when she got home, appearing by her side as soon as he heard the door open.

        "Are you ok Syd? You were gone for almost two hours." Sydney looked startled, turning to find a clock.

        "I'm sorry Will, I didn't realize how long it had been." As she spoke, she made her way over to the couch and dropped into it.

        "Well, that was either a really, really good run… or I'm missing something." Will gave her a pointed look as he sat down next to her.

        "I saw Sark… and Vaughn."

        "Vaughn? I told him not to go after you."

        "Guess he didn't quite listen."

        "Do you want to talk about it?" Will asked haltingly.

        "Will, you are wonderful... but I don't want to be such a burden. And besides," she continued, cutting off his protest, "I know it must be hard to just listen to all of this," she concluded, subtly steering the conversation back to what it had been earlier that evening. She could see it in his eyes; he knew exactly what she was getting at.

        "Yes, it is hard, I'm not going to deny it. Syd, I love you, and you know that. But I just want you to be happy. I'm not the one who can make that happen… and I'm ok with that. I've come to accept it. After two years without you, I'm just happy to have my best friend back."

        "Thank you," Sydney said quietly.

        "You're welcome… now it's your turn. Talk," he ordered light-heartedly. She smiled briefly, and explained to him all that had taken place since she ran out earlier.

        "Ok… and what, you can't decide between Sark and Vaughn?" she shook her head emphatically.

        "That's not it, at all… Vaughn's married Will, I won't come between that."

        "So what's the dilemma?" Sydney stared at him thoughtfully, but before she could formulate a response, the doorbell rang. She and Will exchanged cautious looks.

        "I'll get this one," Will said. Sydney listened carefully as he went to the door.

        "Eric?"

        "Hey Will… Syd's here, right?"

        "Yeah, why?"

        "Can I see her?"

        "Uh…" Before Will could turn him away, Sydney put in an appearance.

        "Eric, what are you doing here? It's almost midnight… don't tell me you're just getting out of work." He shrugged.

        "You know how it is… no rest for the weary. Or something."

        "Want to come in?" Sydney asked.

        "Oh, no… I know it's late, I just wanted to stop by to see how you're doing."

        "You came all the way out here at this time just for that?"

        "Yeah… why? That a problem?"

        "No, not at all… it was very sweet of you. Thanks." Weiss gave her a smile.

        "You don't have to thank me. It's what friends are for, right?"

        "Well, as your friend, I'm ordering you to go home and get some sleep." Weiss pretended to be hurt.

        "Syd, friendship isn't about ordering people around." She gave him a gentle shove, and he laughed as he walked back out to his car. With a quick wave, he was gone.

        "He's a great guy," Will observed.

        "Yeah he is. Did you two keep in touch at all?"

        "A little bit, yeah. We'd call each other up every so often, that was about it."

        "I think I'm going to make some tea…want some?" Will shook his head.

        "Nah… I'm headed to bed now." Sydney gave him a look.

        "Please tell me you didn't just stay up because of me…" Will shrugged lightly.

        "I was worried."

        "You didn't need to be… but thank you."

        "Night Syd." They went their separate ways then, with Will retreating to his bedroom as Sydney wandered into the kitchen. She leaned back and closed her eyes as she sipped the smooth French Vanilla liquid. Suddenly, a memory was sparked.

        [I]She was sitting at a large desk, sipping a cup of tea. Sark sat across from her, simply watching her grade papers.

        "Ready to leave, Adam?"

        "Whenever you are, love." She smiled at him as he took her hand and led her out.[/I]

        Sydney sat there rigidly, staring into her tea as though it could peer into the future… or perhaps the past. She quickly stood and walked outside, and was somehow less than surprised when Sark approached her moments later. She stared at him, not saying a word, waiting for him to speak first.

        "What is it?" he finally questioned.

        "I was a teacher?" She raised an eyebrow, and saw hints of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

        "A substitute, actually, at a school near Bern."

        "So we were in Switzerland?"

        "In the month before you disappeared, yes."

        "And the months before that?" Sark gave her a look.

        "You know I won't tell you." 

        "Damn it, Adam, why not? This is my life we're talking about; don't you think I deserve to know?"

        "Of course I do, Sydney, and you should know I'd like nothing more than to fill in all the blanks. But it's too much to take in all at once. It would cause you too much grief to try fitting it all together right now. That's why I keep saying you need to remember on your own." Sydney stared at him before looking up to the stars.

        "Between grief, and nothing… I'll take grief."

        "I know you would, and I understand…"

        "Evidently you don't, Adam. If you truly did, you would tell me what I need to know."  

        "I will not tell you everything," he began, holding up a hand to silence her, "but I will tell you where we were." Sydney nodded slowly.

        "Ok. It's a start, at least."

        "Keep in mind, I don't know your whereabouts for the year and a half before what I'm about to tell you. The first two months, we were in Germany- mostly Munich, with a few excursions out to Frankfurt, Heidelberg, and Berlin. The next four months were split between England and Ireland, and then into Switzerland for the last month."

        "Thank you, Adam."

        "You're welcome. I know it's not much to go on, but it's a start."

        "It is. You said you don't know anything about the year and a half or so before that?"

        "Correct."

        "But you know of someone who might." He looked slightly startled, but nodded.

        "Yes."       

        "Who might that be?" He gave her a look, and she sighed lightly.

        "Irina Derevko."