A/N: Once upon a time, Tamsy and I were bored because Daine was away, so I
wrote this silly story.
Disclaimer: I own none of the people, places, icky potions teachers, or spells in this one shot.
Ron whistled cheerfully as he walked down the corridor, head filled with thoughts of his favourite girl. Taking the downward steps by three, he tripped over one of Filch's water buckets and fell headlong down the stairs, periodically thwacking his head on the banister. After a quarter of an hour spent in convalescence, he muttered to himself 'Stupid Blonde moments' and righted the water bucket. He went to the broom closet and reached inside it, looking for a mop. Instead, his hand collided with a soft bushy substance that yelled when he endeavoured to pull it out. He opened the broom closet door more to see what the heck was going on.
"HERMIONE? MALFOY??????"
The two previously entwined figures shot apart like bullets. And yelled. Loud.
"Ron, what in the name of Merlin are you doing here?"
"I was trying to find a mop. BUT INSTEAD, I FIND MY GIRLFRIEND OF SIX MONTHS SNOGGING WITH MY WORST ENEMY!!!!!"
Ron slammed the door and locked it, kicking it into the bargain as he walked away. Several people stared at him.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ One hour later ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Harry walked down the hallway after an exhausting Quidditch practice, during which the resident keeper had been suspiciously surly. Every part of his body ached. His head, his stomach, his legs, his feet. He felt like he would collapse. He walked up several steps and stubbed his already in pain toe on a water bucket.
"OWW! Somebody should clean that stupid bucket up." (It never occurred to him that maybe he should.)
Something stirred in the nearby broom closet and called out.
"Hey, can you get me out of here? I'm locked in."
Harry jumped a foot in the air and opened the door (after his heart started beating again).
Hermione jumped out and hugged Harry before even realizing who he was. "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"
"Hermione? How did you get locked in that closet anyway?"
"I'll explain later. Draco. Wake up! C'mon Draco. Yo! Ferret! Wake up! C'mon!" Hermione prodded Draco's gently nodding form. He started up and hit his head on the ceiling.
"Oww! What're you looking at Potter? Chill. A snog's no big deal, but, oh, yes, they're so rare for you."
"Shut up ferret-grease. You don't know anything."
Hermione grabbed Harry by the arm and pulled him violently up the steps, without saying bye to Draco.
"Hermione Marie Granger, tell me honestly, were you snogging in the closet with Draco Malfoy?"
"I told you, I'll explain later! We have to get to the common room soon. If we don't, and Filch catches us, he'll have our tanned backsides."
They walked for several minutes, Harry asking whispered questions and Hermione insisting that she'd answer him later.
"Yorkshire Pudding." Whispered Hermione, and they were in the common room. Ron sat on the couch by the fire, waiting for them.
"So Hermione, do you think that I deserve an explanation NOW? Or have you just decided to keep me in the dark, or, rather, Malfoy in the dark of the BROOM CLOSET."
"Ron it's just a quick snog, no big deal!!! What's your problem? You think I'm to delicate to want to be kissed!"
"Hermione?" ventured Harry bravely. "I think that the problem is that you're his girlfriend and Malfoy is his worst enemy!" Harry couldn't help taking sides on this one. I mean. Hermione was being pretty unreasonable.
"Why do you ALWAYS TAKE HIS SIDE?"
"Actually, last week, and the week before, and the week before that, and the weeks after and before Christmas, I took your side."
"HELLO, PEOPLE! THIS ARGUMENT IS ABOUT ME AND HERMIONE! NOT HARRY TAKING MY SIDE BECAUSE HERMIONE'S BEING TOTALLY UNREASONABLE!"
"Fine, I'll go to bed then."
"So Hermione, back to the point!"
"Sorry, I'm going to bed now. An hour's snog in a broom closet wore me out."
"You said it was QUICK!"
"Well, you are the one that locked us in. Not my fault we had nothing else to do!"
As Hermione walked away, Ron called after her, "HOW ABOUT STAYING ON OPPOSITE SIDES AND TAKING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HATE EACH OTHER?"
~ * ~ * ~ next day at breakfast ~ * ~ * ~
"Ron, I told you I'm sorry already!"
"Yeah, well. sorry doesn't mean anything right now."
"This doesn't mean you're breaking up with me, does it Ron?"
"What do you think Granger?" The hall went silent as Ron turned and walked away. Hermione burst into a flood of anguished tears. A grinning Draco walked over to Hermione and put his arms around her shoulder.
"It's okay Granger. I'll comfort you. Welcome to my broom closet."
"Shut up Mal-ferret. I snogged with you for a couple of minutes. It doesn't mean anything. Draco paled.
"Ya, well he dumped you Mudblood, so get over it someday, or better yet, die of misery."
Hermione shoved her plate of bacon and eggs to the middle of the table and broke down in regretful tears.
~ * ~ * ~ Two hours later. Potions class ~ * ~ * ~
"Class, pay attention. Now, the antidote to the Conjonctivious Potion is- Potter, listen up. Granger, stop writing. Give me that note. 'Ron, please forgive me. I miss you and am hating myself for doing this to me and to you. Yours forever, Love, Hermione.' Isn't that despicably sweet? So, Mr. Weasley, since we are all involved now, pray tell, have you forgiven her?" Snape laughed a quiet, evil little laugh to himself. And for the Slytherins, who were rolling on the floor with laughter.
Hermione and Ron were both the colour of tomatoes. Well, that's one thing that they have in common right now. That's something. Take what you can get, eh? (a/n: I'm Canadian, eh? You knew that, eh?) Suddenly Hermione's face lost all colour, except for a faint blush of victory. She jumped up, seized the note, tore it neatly into four and, in one mad leap, reached her desk and threw it into her Conjonctivious Potion. It immediately dissolved in a burst of blue flame. In another frenzied leap she reached Ron's desk and leaned over it. She grabbed Ron and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Understandably dazed, Ron pulled away and grinned.
"That was nice." He declared stupidly, while several Slytherin losers looked on in envy. (a/n: I made Hermione a hunk magnet in this story)
Hermione grabbed his sleeve and pulled him out the door.
"There's more where that came from. Come on, I know a cozy lil' broom closet on the 4th floor."
A/n: There, isn't my lil' story SO lovely? Hee hee ya right. Well, anyway, please review if you love Ron or Harry or Draco. Although how anybody could love Draco is beyond me. *Daine steps out from behind curtain and attacks Lilac* "DIE LILAC! DRACO IS BEAUTIFUL!" *Lilac chokes Daine* "RON IS BEAUTIFUL" *Tamsy steps from behind curtain* "HARRY IS BEAUTIFUL" Everybody chokes every body until Lilac wakes up and realizes it was one farfetched dream.
Disclaimer: I own none of the people, places, icky potions teachers, or spells in this one shot.
Ron whistled cheerfully as he walked down the corridor, head filled with thoughts of his favourite girl. Taking the downward steps by three, he tripped over one of Filch's water buckets and fell headlong down the stairs, periodically thwacking his head on the banister. After a quarter of an hour spent in convalescence, he muttered to himself 'Stupid Blonde moments' and righted the water bucket. He went to the broom closet and reached inside it, looking for a mop. Instead, his hand collided with a soft bushy substance that yelled when he endeavoured to pull it out. He opened the broom closet door more to see what the heck was going on.
"HERMIONE? MALFOY??????"
The two previously entwined figures shot apart like bullets. And yelled. Loud.
"Ron, what in the name of Merlin are you doing here?"
"I was trying to find a mop. BUT INSTEAD, I FIND MY GIRLFRIEND OF SIX MONTHS SNOGGING WITH MY WORST ENEMY!!!!!"
Ron slammed the door and locked it, kicking it into the bargain as he walked away. Several people stared at him.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ One hour later ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Harry walked down the hallway after an exhausting Quidditch practice, during which the resident keeper had been suspiciously surly. Every part of his body ached. His head, his stomach, his legs, his feet. He felt like he would collapse. He walked up several steps and stubbed his already in pain toe on a water bucket.
"OWW! Somebody should clean that stupid bucket up." (It never occurred to him that maybe he should.)
Something stirred in the nearby broom closet and called out.
"Hey, can you get me out of here? I'm locked in."
Harry jumped a foot in the air and opened the door (after his heart started beating again).
Hermione jumped out and hugged Harry before even realizing who he was. "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"
"Hermione? How did you get locked in that closet anyway?"
"I'll explain later. Draco. Wake up! C'mon Draco. Yo! Ferret! Wake up! C'mon!" Hermione prodded Draco's gently nodding form. He started up and hit his head on the ceiling.
"Oww! What're you looking at Potter? Chill. A snog's no big deal, but, oh, yes, they're so rare for you."
"Shut up ferret-grease. You don't know anything."
Hermione grabbed Harry by the arm and pulled him violently up the steps, without saying bye to Draco.
"Hermione Marie Granger, tell me honestly, were you snogging in the closet with Draco Malfoy?"
"I told you, I'll explain later! We have to get to the common room soon. If we don't, and Filch catches us, he'll have our tanned backsides."
They walked for several minutes, Harry asking whispered questions and Hermione insisting that she'd answer him later.
"Yorkshire Pudding." Whispered Hermione, and they were in the common room. Ron sat on the couch by the fire, waiting for them.
"So Hermione, do you think that I deserve an explanation NOW? Or have you just decided to keep me in the dark, or, rather, Malfoy in the dark of the BROOM CLOSET."
"Ron it's just a quick snog, no big deal!!! What's your problem? You think I'm to delicate to want to be kissed!"
"Hermione?" ventured Harry bravely. "I think that the problem is that you're his girlfriend and Malfoy is his worst enemy!" Harry couldn't help taking sides on this one. I mean. Hermione was being pretty unreasonable.
"Why do you ALWAYS TAKE HIS SIDE?"
"Actually, last week, and the week before, and the week before that, and the weeks after and before Christmas, I took your side."
"HELLO, PEOPLE! THIS ARGUMENT IS ABOUT ME AND HERMIONE! NOT HARRY TAKING MY SIDE BECAUSE HERMIONE'S BEING TOTALLY UNREASONABLE!"
"Fine, I'll go to bed then."
"So Hermione, back to the point!"
"Sorry, I'm going to bed now. An hour's snog in a broom closet wore me out."
"You said it was QUICK!"
"Well, you are the one that locked us in. Not my fault we had nothing else to do!"
As Hermione walked away, Ron called after her, "HOW ABOUT STAYING ON OPPOSITE SIDES AND TAKING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HATE EACH OTHER?"
~ * ~ * ~ next day at breakfast ~ * ~ * ~
"Ron, I told you I'm sorry already!"
"Yeah, well. sorry doesn't mean anything right now."
"This doesn't mean you're breaking up with me, does it Ron?"
"What do you think Granger?" The hall went silent as Ron turned and walked away. Hermione burst into a flood of anguished tears. A grinning Draco walked over to Hermione and put his arms around her shoulder.
"It's okay Granger. I'll comfort you. Welcome to my broom closet."
"Shut up Mal-ferret. I snogged with you for a couple of minutes. It doesn't mean anything. Draco paled.
"Ya, well he dumped you Mudblood, so get over it someday, or better yet, die of misery."
Hermione shoved her plate of bacon and eggs to the middle of the table and broke down in regretful tears.
~ * ~ * ~ Two hours later. Potions class ~ * ~ * ~
"Class, pay attention. Now, the antidote to the Conjonctivious Potion is- Potter, listen up. Granger, stop writing. Give me that note. 'Ron, please forgive me. I miss you and am hating myself for doing this to me and to you. Yours forever, Love, Hermione.' Isn't that despicably sweet? So, Mr. Weasley, since we are all involved now, pray tell, have you forgiven her?" Snape laughed a quiet, evil little laugh to himself. And for the Slytherins, who were rolling on the floor with laughter.
Hermione and Ron were both the colour of tomatoes. Well, that's one thing that they have in common right now. That's something. Take what you can get, eh? (a/n: I'm Canadian, eh? You knew that, eh?) Suddenly Hermione's face lost all colour, except for a faint blush of victory. She jumped up, seized the note, tore it neatly into four and, in one mad leap, reached her desk and threw it into her Conjonctivious Potion. It immediately dissolved in a burst of blue flame. In another frenzied leap she reached Ron's desk and leaned over it. She grabbed Ron and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Understandably dazed, Ron pulled away and grinned.
"That was nice." He declared stupidly, while several Slytherin losers looked on in envy. (a/n: I made Hermione a hunk magnet in this story)
Hermione grabbed his sleeve and pulled him out the door.
"There's more where that came from. Come on, I know a cozy lil' broom closet on the 4th floor."
A/n: There, isn't my lil' story SO lovely? Hee hee ya right. Well, anyway, please review if you love Ron or Harry or Draco. Although how anybody could love Draco is beyond me. *Daine steps out from behind curtain and attacks Lilac* "DIE LILAC! DRACO IS BEAUTIFUL!" *Lilac chokes Daine* "RON IS BEAUTIFUL" *Tamsy steps from behind curtain* "HARRY IS BEAUTIFUL" Everybody chokes every body until Lilac wakes up and realizes it was one farfetched dream.