13. Ad Hominem.
If you can't fix it with duct tape, you haven't used enough duct tape.
~

"Ow."

"Stop squirming."

"Ii hurrsh."

"I know, deal with it."

"Nnggrrr."

"Nearly done – stop poking at it, you're messing up the angle. And licking me."

"Ii hurrsh."

"Yeah, heard you the first time. Just … almost… There."

"Mbleh." The pod finally installed in my gum, I was at last able to close my mouth and move my jaw freely. "Does it have to taste like that?"

Kaji wiped his hands on the dishcloth. "Flavour wasn't top of the priority list for this design."

"Neither was ergonomics, I assume." I had had less uncomfortable dental procedures…

"Well, you have to be able to get it back out in a hurry. –You remember how to do that, right?"

"Tilt my head and make a uvular trill," I recited. Hopefully I would then be deploying it at the Matsushiro NERV facility that day to scramble the signature of Evangelion Unit 09's dummy plug, and thereby disguise its match with my own.

"Exactly." He passed me a glass filled with water. "It'll stay put until you need to activate it … unless you forget, and do a Wookie impression…"

"Oh! I know what that is!"

"Aida made you watch the movies, didn't he."

"Under threat of bodily harm, presumedly via lightsabre. He was also impressed that I am capable of articulating that particular phoneme, though as yet he has not utilised it for espionage."

"Well, it's early days."

Suddenly, but with unexpected gentleness, Kaji's hand lit on the side of my face, over the stealthily smuggled data drive.

"Kaji?" I asked, and his distant frown settled further.

"Don't say 'don't worry'," he muttered.

"I was not going to…"

"Good."

"…Because why would you be worried? I have successfully completed covert operations before – your own continued survival is proof of this."

His expression turned exasperated. "I swear, Kaworu, every time I think you're getting the hang of the 'human emotions' thing, I find another gap."

I recoiled, stung. "I could say the same of some Lilim I have known, and they have far less excuse."

But my bantering response did not fool him with attempted flippancy, and his face softened.

"Sorry," he said gently. "I am worried, and it's making me grumpy. Shouldn't be taking it out on you." He drew me into a half-hug, and I did not bother with a sham of resistance before nestling comfortably into his side.

"Even though I am the cause of your worry?"

"Yeah, even though." He sighed. "Look, you know what you're capable of better than I do, but please – be cautious, okay? Pick your moment, and only if it's a good one. If you don't get a clear chance today we'll think of something else. Just – be careful, okay Kaworu?"

"I will be," I promised.

# Now on final approach to the Matsushiro Secondary Experiment Facility. Passengers, please be seated and fasten seatbelts. #

I blinked out of memory to the present, as the plane banked into a turn, and the base airfield came into view from the lower window.

"I will be," I reminded myself.

"Kaworu?" intruded Shinji's voice. "Something up?"

Smiling at him, I shook my head. "Nothing, just thinking aloud."

"Right." He smiled in return, and resumed fastening his seat belt – or at least, attempting to. Apparently the (admittedly uncommon) style of buckle was unfamiliar to him.

"Here, let me." I reached across and loosened the strap, then snapped the closure in place for him. His t-shirt had ridden up slightly and my fingers brushed against his stomach – his skin was warm, and seemed to heat further at my touch.

"Ah – th-thanks," he said. His face was red.

Suddenly feeling awkward, I retreated to my own seat. "You're welcome."

I looked around in case my assistance was needed elsewhere, but neither of our fellow passengers had had difficulty with their seatbelts; Misato was hastily finishing her in-flight beverage, while Rei looked out the window with no visible sign of either boredom or interest in the view. My gaze slid back to Shinji (seemingly its favourite resting point) just in time to catch him averting his own from me.

It took me several moments – until the plane landed with a jolt on the runway – to realise that I had been unconsciously returning the stare. Shinji's blushing profile had apparently been so fascinating as to hold my gaze without any intent on my part, or any effort on his.

The plane cruised to a stop, and we released ourselves from our seats. As Misato and Rei preceded me down the aisle though, I became conscious of Shinji's hesitance.

"Um … Kaworu?"

Sure enough, he had not yet undone his seatbelt. I smiled and sat back down, and reached over to unclasp it. Again his t-shirt exposed a sliver of skin, and a warm tingle spread through me from the point of contact. But before I could take my hands away he grabbed them.

"Shinji?" I looked at him, to see that his cheeks were redder than ever.

Then his face drew closer to mine, almost touching, and I realised in a rush what I had been so naïve not to see – in either of us.

He hesitated at the last instant, our mouths separated by only a centimetre.

Reckless, wanting, I dove forward, only to crash into him as in the same instant he rediscovered his courage, and we collided with painful force.

"Ow!"

"Ouch..."

We both froze again, eyes locked; my heart hammered in my chest and our hands were sweaty. Shinji swallowed heavily, and we gathered ourselves to lean in again.

"Hey, you guys okay?" broke in Misato's voice, and I thought Shinji would faint.

We jumped apart as she reappeared by our seats. "Fine," I managed to say croakily, though I felt dizzy and my face burned.

"Oh, good. Heard someone say 'ow'."

"N-no, we're okay," said Shinji, his voice uneven.

Awkwardly he and I got to our feet, and followed the smiling Misato from the plane. I was intensely conscious of only two things in the world: Shinji's presence behind me, and a desire that his guardian be anywhere on the planet other than here.

I found myself unable to meet Shinji's eyes as we crossed the tarmac to where General Watanabe waited; at the edge of my gaze I saw that he was similarly avoiding mine, and though the heat cooled from my face I still felt distracted and preoccupied. I was continually aware of him, whatever else was happening, and my lips felt swollen and hyper-sensitive. Apparently romantic interest, now that I had finally recognised it as such, was more affecting than I had suspected.

"Welcome," said the Commander as we reached her. She shook hands with Misato and nodded at Shinji, Rei and I. "I trust your journey wasn't unpleasant."

"Not at all," said Misato. "I'd forgotten how close Matsushiro was by air."

"Close in location and spirit," Watanabe smiled. "Please, this way."

There was an open-top jeep waiting, with a young sergeant at the wheel, but Watanabe waved him aside and took the wheel herself, to everyone's surprise.

"I never liked being taken places," she remarked, adjusting her still-buckled sword point-downwards in the footwell; "I prefer to be directly in control."

"I know the feeling," said Misato as she sat beside the Commander. We pilots took the rear seat – Rei was between Shinji and I, but I couldn't shake the nonsensical idea that I could perceive his body heat and movements through her.

Watanabe drove us down into the main base, and a labyrinthine series of corridors similar to Tokyo-3, though the different layout created a somewhat jarring effect as familiar was juxtaposed and alternated with unfamiliar. A combination of older and newer building work contributed to this feeling.

On our arrival at the central cage, into which Evangelion Unit 09 would be transferred shortly, we were greeted by Vice-Commander Shimada. He saluted smartly, but frowned at his superior.

"Ma'am, there was no need for you to facilitate your own transportation," he said gruffly. "If the assigned driver was unsatisfactory, I as your subordinate would have been most amenable to providing said transport."

Watanabe's lips were pressed into a thin line. "Yes, I know, Haru. And you know that I like to drive myself."

"Understood, ma'am." But he opened her door for her in what was obviously another unrequested gesture.

Even without my powers I could sense that something was off between the two; from Misato's raised eyebrow, I inferred that she had perceived it as well.

"You guys must be pretty nervous, right?" said Misato. "The last Eva to be tested here was Unit 03."

Shinji flinched. Reflexively I put my hand on his arm in support, but the contact took me back in a flash to our failed kiss earlier, and I hastily withdrew in embarrassment.

Meanwhile, Watanabe was saying, "Indeed, that was a terrible ordeal. However I don't expect a repetition, unless the final Angel chooses to grace us with its presence today."

I suppressed, harshly, a terrible urge to giggle. I suppose this must be what they call 'black humour'... I thought. Shinji had also looked awkward for a second before controlling himself, while Rei was impassive as usual.

Misato had been keeping half an eye on Shinji, her sympathy written clearly in her expression. His sudden start she must have attributed to the pain of the memory, as she hastily said, "But how's the transfer of Unit 09 coming? No problems so far, I hope?"

"As seamlessly as could be hoped for," said the Commander, "which is to say, barely within schedule and a blizzard of documentation. It's enough to make you wish the Vatican Treaty had gone through after all."

Misato smiled ruefully. "True, having only three Eva units allowed per country would cut down on paperwork."

"And, of course, lessen the capacity of any one nation to threaten the rest of the world," said Watanabe mildly, one hand on her sword hilt, "or any one base, for that matter."

Misato's smile became forced. "Yes, well, I think we've recently seen that paranoia and ambition don't necessarily correlate with the capacity for action."

"Quite right, and there are unfortunately those who will get caught up in petty human squabbles when there are greater battles to be fought. Has any progress been made in re-analysing the Dead Sea Scrolls for predictions of the seventeenth Angel?"

"I'm afraid I can't really discuss that," said Misato, coldly as she was reminded how she had been – was still being – kept in the dark by her colleagues.

"Oh?" Watanabe was a paragon of smooth civility. "Kozou was saying there was some indication the behaviour of the final messenger may be somewhat … unforeseeable."

You could say that, I thought, but kept my face blank.

"Unfortunately I'm not at liberty to talk about that topic."

"Hm. Some people would expect a strategic alliance to entail, even encourage, the sharing of tactical information among allies..." The Commander allowed silence to draw out, apparently indifferent to Misato's obvious discomfort, before waving a hand dismissively. "No matter. Perhaps in my next little chat with Kozou I can persuade him to trust me with some small tidbit." She started off toward the observation box.

Misato followed, her fists clenched. General Watanabe knew as well as I did that only SEELE and the NERV top brass were familiar with the Scrolls; for Misato to have even heard of them was only due to Kaji's inclusion of her in his espionage. The Matsushiro commander had deliberately displayed her advantage in knowledge, and therefore power – it seemed inter-branch rivalry did not immediately disappear with the formation of alliances.

We reached the observation box, situated at a nexus looking down into three adjacent cages, and were confronted by a scene of destruction – the still-unmended damage from Unit 03's catastrophic activation. Whereas the rest of the facility that we had seen was either freshly repaired or in the process, this area was sealed off and apparently untouched since that day.

One wall was entirely cratered in; others bore massive cracks and gouges like vertical canyons. The floor was broken and criss-crossed by trenches, and scattered with pieces of the huge restraints that Unit 03 had broken and escaped from. Paint had been scoured off and the surfaces beneath burnt.

Shinji stared. "It's worse than when Unit 00 went berserk."

"Eva Unit 00 broke free of its restraints and commenced to attack the observation box," said Colonel Shimada solemnly. "Unit 03, by contrast, generated a high-energy explosion around itself, emitting greater destructive force although for less time."

"It's amazing we're still here," said Watanabe, confirming that she and her Vice-Commander had been at the scene that day along with Misato, Dr Akagi and the other staff. Gesturing to the battered testing cage, she said, "We left this area intact as a memorial to those who were taken that day."

Added the Colonel, "And to remind ourselves of the risks and dangers all of us face, even in that which facilitates our safety – as a warning that we can never be permitted to let our guard down, never cease vigilance." His jaw clenched.

"Yes, thank you, Haru," said Watanabe shortly. She looked at Misato, but I thought her attention was also on us. "How is that young pilot? Suzuhara, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Toji Suzuhara," Misato confirmed. "He was badly injured, and his recovery is going to take a long time still. But he's doing much better, isn't he, guys?"

Shinji nodded, but his expression was distant. "Yeah, he's come a long way. They think he'll be able to leave the rehab clinic soon – his grandpa is going to retire so he can support Toji and Sakura when they go home." The optimism of his words contrasted with the hollowness in his voice. Beside him, Rei also appeared preoccupied, doubtless recalling her experience in the battle with Unit 03 and her own acquaintance with Toji.

I found myself unable to speak up similarly – seeing the damage caused by my sibling Bardiel had reminded me, when Toji's buoyancy during our recent visits had almost overwritten, the consequences of my failure at Nevada with Unit 04. Not for the first time I wished I could return in time to that day, though what I might do or accomplish I could not have said.

"Commander?" A junior engineer had appeared beside us, making everybody jump as we were disturbed from our thoughts.

"Yes?" said Watanabe.

The engineer saluted. "Ma'am, the plane has docked at the transfer point. Unit 09 will be conveyed to the cage in five minutes."

"Excellent." She turned to a nearby control panel and swiftly typed a passcode – I noted and memorised the sequence, but as the final key was her thumbprint, it was probably a fruitless task. "Cage doors unlocked."

Along the border of the observation window was a semi-transparent display of the base layout and transport routes. We watched as Unit 09's signal moved from the external terminus towards the cage, with what seemed like a great deal of noise and activity.

"Our logistics aren't as streamlined as those at your base," commented Shimada, "on account of this being a testing facility, not optimised for battle mobility. We're after all a supportive point of operations."

"It's always an effort deploying the Evas," Misato demurred.

"Fortunately Tokyo-3 receives ample resources to do so," said Watanabe, "while we understand the limits of our own claims, being naturally lower priority than the primary interception point." The smooth civility of her tone again belied the barb in her words.

"So our base handles military aggression and theirs passive," I murmured, just loud enough for Misato to hear; she cast me a stern look, but a smile brimmed beneath it.

"Opening cage doors," called out a tech, and with a rumble the massive barriers slid aside, and Evangelion Unit 09 loomed into view.

Up close, and without the protection of an Evangelion myself, I found it even more intimidating than its predecessors.

"Why couldn't they have given them faces?" I heard Shinji mutter.

"It's reminding me of when the fourteenth Angel breached HQ," Misato said under her breath.

Intellectually I knew the Evangelion was inactive, but to my eye it seemed to be smirking up at me – a trick of the light and shadows, no doubt.

I shuffled closer to the control panel; there were several promising-looking ports where my data pod might find a surreptitious home…

"All right, let's get it settled in," said the General, and her words prompted a renewed flurry of activity.

"Commence stationing checklist!" called Shimada.

"Transport tracks aligned in sectors four and seven."

"Exoskeleton anchor joints stable."

"Brachial frameworks engaged."

"List clear through 108."

There was an even louder clang as the Evangelion settled into place, and a low hum commenced. All eyes were on the artificial humanoid; all ears crowded by mechanical and vocal noise. I took a steadying breath and tilted my head.

"Umbilical cable redundancies established."

"Radiography online."

"Reciprocal anomalies within containment."

"Cerebro-fluid pressure is nominal."

"Neuro connections prepared to point A-3, A-7, A-13."

I started in surprise. This was an initiation sequence!

Misato whirled on Watanabe. "You're activating it? But it hasn't cleared security yet – the crew at Mumbai NERV could've left malicious programs in the armour!"

"Of course." A cold smile spread across the Commander's face. "We're counting on it."

"…What?"

"Mumbai prepared everything for us," said Shimada, "and now all the Eva pilots are out of the way – there's nothing to defend Tokyo-3." As Misato whirled on him I realised there was a gun in his hand, aimed at Shinji.

Everything happened in an instant, yet time seemed to slow – I launched myself towards them, reflexively reaching for my AT field only to stumble as I was hampered by that mental strangulation.

Misato was quicker, and got in front of Shinji before the gun fired.

She fell to the floor.

"Misato!" Shinji screamed, and dropped to his knees at her side.

I tried again to move towards them, but something held me in place – a sharp tug in my chest. I looked down, to find the point of a sword protruding from my torso just below the collarbone. Numbness took me between one heartbeat and the next – my legs folded, but a cruel grip at my neck held me upright.

Inside my soul, Adam howled.

Behind me, General Watanabe muttered, "No need for the Chairman's original when we've got a spare."

She raised her voice. "Take the other two pilots to the detention wing." Shinji and Rei looked up at us, and their faces drained.

Shimada stepped up to them, gun reversed in his hand to whip across the back of Rei's head, and she crumpled.

Shinji threw himself in a punch at the Colonel's face, but was blocked, and slammed to the floor.

Then another gunshot, but this time red bloomed between Shimada's eyes and he fell backwards.

"Haru!" shouted Watanabe and ripped her sword free, and I collapsed sideways against the platform barrier – I thought I had known pain before, during my siblings' deaths, but this was an entire world of agony.

Dark spots crowded my vision as Misato rolled onto her side – the only thing my eyes could focus on was the cross pendant half-embedded in her sternum, a dint in its surface where a bullet had ricocheted – and the gun she had concealed wavered only enough for her next shot to take the General's arm instead of her face.

Then a rumbling sound that had been at the edge of hearing burst into a roar, and the barrier I leant against was ripped away.

Below me Evangelion Unit 09 stretched out its neck and its jaws gaped; through open air I plummeted and its teeth closed behind me, and all was dark.