Hi, so here is another chapter, I hope that you enjoy this one because this was really emotional for me to write. This I felt had to be said, that Georg was at his breaking point with Louisa to the point where he wasn't able to continue trying and Louisa where she still couldn't speak about her feelings. She is sixteen at this point and she's grown up in this world where she had to do it all by herself because there wasn't a parent around for her to run to. Was Georg abusive? No of course not but he was neglectful and then he made choices in quick succession that were too fast for some of his older children to understand. Adolescence is of course hard but I genuinely believe that it was harder for the elder three children because they had been old before they were supposed to. They had been adults for a long time and then they had been children again because their parent had decided to...parent them. It's hard and messy and complicated and Louisa's genuine feelings, her love for her father is explored as she head's into the war. I know that this has been a hard point for a lot of you but this is rock bottom for Georg and Louisa.

And from there on out the only way is up.

Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine.

Please Read and Review and let me know what you think.

And my understanding is that back then in the 1940s you could enlist with a parent signing for you if you were underage. I might be wrong about this so please don't take anything here as gospel.

Poetic Justice

Chapter 11-The Company

Louisa and Georg go to see Friedrich off to the war. And in doing so they have to spend time together in the car. Alone. And somehow that leads to a…conversation or sorts. The first one in years. But don't expect a happy ending.

They drove Friedrich to the bus stop that would take him to Parris Island.

It wasn't an Island. She didn't know why that was important but it was. Friedrich seemed to insist that it was and for reasons beyond her comprehension she found it funny. It made her smile and on this day, today, there was very little to smile.

Friedrich was going off to war.

He seemed…calm…Louisa was not sure what he should be. She wasn't sure what the correct approach to a thing like this was. This was only the second time that boys Friedrich's age had put down what they were doing and had gone marching off to war. For the most part he seemed fine and he took his duffel bag and slung it over his shoulder looking every inch the man that he was and not the boy that he had been.

Louisa looking at him felt her breath catch in her throat as she saw him standing there against the early morning sun. He was going to war. He was going to war. Her brother was going to war.

Their father went to get the ticket. Louisa wasn't sure if it was genuine of deliberate. If he wanted to hide his face or if he wanted to give them a moment of privacy Louisa wasn't sure but it was her and Friedrich leaning against the car doors.

"Look" Friedrich said with a sigh. His accent which like Louisa's had dimmed somewhat over the years, which had changed a little over the years into some mix of Austrian and American was suddenly thicker with the Austrian syntax than she had heard it.

"Can you just…can you let me give you some advice?"

"Sure"

"Forgive him"

He jerked his head towards their father who was still paying and Louisa sighed. There had been no doubt as to who he was talking to and she swallowed down her immediate response.

"Look Friedrich—"

"No Louisa listen to me and if I ever give you any advice that you listen to in your life, please, please let it be this. Just…forgive him. Because…he knows…you think he doesn't know that he screwed this all up? That he was absent and neglectful and it hurt us? That when he came back and suddenly started acting like a father we were scared and then we lost Liesl and Brigitta and we were angry"

"Was that what you were?" she asked suddenly desperate for the answer. "Angry at him I mean?"

"Yes" Friedrich said steadily. "But unlike you I actually talked to him about it"

"When?"

"The night I enlisted. He poured me a drink and we sat and we talked. I don't want to go into this with anything on my mind that doesn't need to be here. And I know you, I know what you are going to do, or have already done and I am telling you don't go to a place where you can't go back. Forgive him. If not for him then for yourself."

"Friedrich—"

"I know if you weren't angry you'd be crying" Friedrich said and his tone was quiet but it still had the edge to it that screamed big brother. Louisa gritted her teeth but the truth was he was right and she was not going to waste precious seconds with him arguing the point—maybe if he wasn't going away she would, but he was and he knew that because he knew her. In the contradictory way that two siblings who fought like hell but always had each other's back, they knew each other and so he knew how she was feeling, how she had felt, how she had always felt.

"And you have to be angry because you won't let yourself cry"

"I have cried" she said softly. "But yes I am angry. And no I don't know why. And no I don't have twenty bucks an hour to go and find a Doctor who will tell me why."

"I know" Friedrich said cheerfully as if this was something he had thought about long and hard about (and to be fair for Friedrich he probably had). "But what I am saying is…you shouldn't hate. I've been thinking about it, about why we had to flee, about our separation, about the horrors that are being inflicted on those left behind and God help you if your Jewish" he shook his head and Louisa understood that the thought was too horrible to put into words.

(And still the true, full horrors wouldn't come out for another three years. There on that sunny day as men said goodbye to their families and went to war, those two Von Trapp's who thought they knew all about hatred didn't realise that they did not. They did not. Not then. Not then.)

And then her brother was sighing.

"Hatred is a horrible thing" he said slowly and softly. "Louisa don't let it destroy you. Don't let it destroy the good things that you and him have. And for God sakes tell him what you're actually going to do for 'The Company'"

"It's not some secret service Friedrich"

"No but I've read enough about it to know that what it might be selling on the outside isn't going to be what it's selling on the inside"

Louisa didn't know how to unpick that statement.

"Forgive him Louisa. And if you can't do it now then at least promise me that you will try"

"He…he abandoned us time and time again and then he asked us to trust him and we lost—"

"I know"

"And then he manages to magically pull himself together when he hears of a new baby—"

"Nah he did that when he heard what you said"

"How do you know? Did you ask him?"

And suddenly she was afraid of the answer.

That was the problem. Always being afraid of the answer.

"I didn't have to" Friedrich said quietly. "I can see it in his eyes. And so would you if you could stand to look at him in the face for more than ten seconds. Just…just don't write him off. It's…it's hard for him. I know it doesn't excuse how he made us feel for so long but…one day ask him why and if you hate him after that…then at least I can go to my grave knowing I tried"

"You're not going to go to a grave over there" Louisa said firmly. Their father was coming back now.

And Friedrich was smiling as if he had already made peace with the fact that the odds were stacked against him, that there was a chance that he could die, a very good chance. As if he had thought long and hard about that and Louisa couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand a world such as this, a cold, cruel world where they sent boys off to die in thousands all so a few could impose their will over the many. All because of some lunatic's grand plan for a grand empire. Evil did exist in this world and it was firmly rooted in Adolf Hitler and the men that followed him.

"See you soon" he said finally and then they were hugging and Louisa who had thought that she was going to memorise all of this moment found that her brother had slipped out of her arms and then had spoken and hugged their father and then within minutes (thought it felt like seconds) and then he was one the bus and he was gone.

He was gone.

Friedrich was gone.

And she felt like she was going to be sick.

"Louisa?"

"Hmm?"

"You ready to go?"

"Yes" she said finally and then she tore her eyes away from the now empty road and slipped into the front seat of the car and buckled herself in as her father did the same. It was going to be an hour and a half in the car with her father all alone. She was not sure how she was going to survive it.

Actually she was not sure how she was going to survive any of it.

But at some point she had to tell him.

"Father?"

"Yes?"

"I enlisted"

Thank God they were on a patch of dirt road because he nearly swerve the car into a ditch. Finally he slammed his foot onto the brakes and turned to face her.

"YOU DID WHAT?"

"I enlisted"

"You…as what?"

"Translator for the Office of Strategic Services"

"A TRANSLATOR?"

God did he have to sound so insulting?"

"Father" she said trying not to lose her patience. "You were the one who paid for my education. I am reasonably fluent in several languages because of that"

He checked a little at that one as if he didn't know what to say to that.

"Why did you not come to me about this?"

"Would you have let me?" Louisa asked honestly.

"No"

She raised an eyebrow and didn't say anything. She shrugged.

"Well it's done now"

"Jesus Christ how much do you hate me?"

She turned to him staring at him. He had caught her by surprise by the comment and so she answered him honestly.

"I don't hate you"

"No? This punishment that I am to face, this purgatory from you, never moving forwards from the past and never going back to discuss it is just what? For kicks?"

Louisa said nothing for a second.

"I don't know" she said as honestly as she could. "I don't…I can't help how I feel. And I don't know how I feel about you. About this new life. All I know is I want to run away from it. And being angry helps because if I don't then I have to cry and crying is just exhausting."

"And your enlistment was what? To punish me?"

"No. No it wasn't. You know that. I was always going to go."

"Your sixteen which means you need me to sign"

"Yes"

"And this is your way of asking me?"

"Yes"

"Jesus Louisa" he got out of the car and slammed the door shut staring out in the landscape that was where they had parked and Louisa got out the car too and watched him for a long time.

"I'll do it anyway!"

"Will you?"

"Yes"

"I see"

He still wouldn't look at her and for the first time she thought that she wanted him too. Fuck…Friedrich was right.

"You left us" she said finally. "You left us and you made us feel like shit on your shoes. And Liesl she had to become a Mum overnight and she did. She soothed nightmares, she checked the closet for monsters, she played the games and told the bedtime stories. She wrote cards in your name on birthdays and she was the one who protected your children from the governesses that were abusive. We formed this little pack and we survived as we did all of us, Friedrich me and Liesl leading the charge, and then you came back and suddenly…that you were changed and it was like we were supposed to forget. And maybe…I don't know maybe if Liesl was here she could talk me through it but she's not. So here I am, with all this feeling inside of me and I need to go somewhere and let it out before I say things that I can't take back"

It was the closest she could say, to explain how angry she was. How furious she was. How she wanted to rip and tear and scream and hate. She did not know then that she needed to break down, she needed to feel all the emotions inside of her to move on. She didn't know there and then that she couldn't do it alone, that nothing good came from burying your feelings deep inside. So deep inside that you would do anything to keep them from coming out. She was sixteen, she didn't fully understand what the damage bottling your feelings up could do to you.

She would understand that later.

But not then.

Not now.

But later.

Her father turned to look at her then and there was something in his expression that she didn't understand.

"No"

"No what?"

"No I'm not signing for you"

"Oh for—I am in uniform but I am just reading and translating some documents! I am hardly going overseas"

"They will have you overseas eventually"

"How do you know?"

"Because I know a bit more about the Office of Strategic Services more than you do"

Brushing aside that comment for a later day she shook her head.

"It's already done. You know that. I am sixteen and I do need you to sign for me but I will go when I'm eighteen nonetheless. And I won't come back"

Her father gave a harsh laugh.

"So an ultimatum"

"Yes"

He nodded his eyes filled with something that she did not understand but made her feel…fear.

"Very well" he said getting in the car and slamming the door shut and Louisa feeling out of place did the same. Her father didn't even look at her as he started the car.

"I stood up for you" he said finally. "It was your words Louisa. But now…now I wish to God I did not know what a heavy burden it would be"

And with that he started the car and drove them home in silence with Louisa fighting back tears all the way.

And yeah, I did promise you that it wouldn't be a happy ending. But here we are. The only way now is back up.

And I will bring you the next chapter as soon as I have written it.

Next Chapter-Georg's point of view of this chapter, saying goodbye to Friedrich, Louisa's decision and whatever the hell comes next.