When they arrived on the 4th floor of Angel of Mercy, the nurse led them into small
room. Kim let go of Jimmy's hand, not even remembering when she first grabbed it.
She walked to the side of Joey's bed. She placed her hands on his, and bent down to
give him a gentle kiss.
"The doctor's gave him a sedative, but I'm sure he can hear you." The nurse said as
she exited the room.
Jimmy took a deep breath, walked over to other side Joey's bed.
"Hey champ, it's Daddy. Mommy's here too." he said looking up at Kim.
Silent tears fell down Kim's face as she looked down at her son's face.
"He's so little." She said quietly to Jimmy, keeping her eyes fixed on Joey.
Joey was 7yrs old, but in size looked more like a 5yr old.
"He's strong," Jimmy replied.
Kim nodded in agreement. She thought to herself, 'Joey is stubborn like me but that
was about it. The rest of Joey is his father; his dark hair, eyebrows, and smile are
all his fathers.'
"He looks like you," she said softly to Jimmy as if it was the first time she noticed.
Jimmy smiled down proudly. He looked at his son, and thought to himself 'You're the
only thing right in life.'
"He's going to be ok." Jimmy said.
"I know," Kim answered, but she didn't really know. Every part of her body ached at
thought of losing Joey, no matter how positive she tried to think, her mind went back
to what if. Even though she was a medic herself, and knew Joey was in the best
hospital in the city, and with the best doctors, she still worried. It was part being a
mother, worrying went hand and hand with motherhood she thought to herself.
The nurse knocked lightly on the open door, "It's time to go."
Jimmy looked up and nodded, letting the nurse know he had heard her. Kim bent down,
and kissed Joey on the cheek.
"I love you sweetie, and I'll be waiting for you when you wake up." She whispered into
his ear.
Jimmy took his turn at saying goodbye. He bent down and pushed Joey's soft dark hair
off his forehead, and kissed him lightly.
"I love you buddy, I'll see you in a little while. Stay strong." By the end of this
sentence his eyes began to fill with tears and, ready to let them pour down. I can't,
he thought to himself; I have to be strong for Kim. He walked around to the other
side of the bed where Kim was standing, and lead her out gently with his hand on the
small of her back.
Jimmy, and Kim walked silently to the waiting room. The room was full of
familiar faces. The chairs were filled with the men from Jimmy's squad, his family.
They were talking amongst themselves, but stopped when they noticed the two walked
in the room.
"Hey guys," Jimmy said. He stood in front of the small crowd, not sure what he should
say or do. "Thanks for coming."
Lombardo was the first to talk, "The nurse in the ER told us they're taking Joey into
surgery, so we figured you'd all be up here."
"Thanks you guys, it's going to be awhile before we know much more. Thanks for
coming." Jimmy said.
"Can we get you anything? Do you want us to call anyone?" asked DK.
Kim looked around the room, not really paying attention to the conversation going on in
front of her.
"Where's my Mom?" she asked.
Alex stood up, and moved towards Kim.
"I called earlier, and but no one was home. I left a message, I can try her again if
you want."
"No, that's ok. I'll go call here." Kim turned to walk out the door.
"Do you want me to come?" asked Jimmy
"No, I'm ok."
Jimmy nodded, and watched Kim walk out of the room.
----------------
Kim wandered down the hall, not heading anywhere in particular. She made her way
down a flight of stairs, being in that room with all those people was too much. She
needed to be alone right now. She needed to be free to think, without having everyone
throw his or her encouragement and positive words in her face. She heard all the same
things the day Bobby died.
"He's going to be ok Kim."
"Bobby's strong Kim."
When Bobby was here, she had to be strong for his mother. She fought back
her tears, and didn't talk about what could happen, what did happen. Now, she had no
one to be strong for. Not Jimmy, he was strong enough for the two of them she
thought to herself. She could cave into every feeling she had, a curse and a blessing
at the same time.
She made her way to the chapel, not real knowing why she was going there.
She wasn't a religious person, she sent Joey to a Catholic school because it was the
only school Jimmy's parents would pay for and she felt it was safer then public school.
She walked up to the front of the chapel, and almost lit a candle. Her mind flash
backed, she was in this room with Bobby's mother praying. Then she picked up another
match, and lit a candle for Bobby, just like she did on the night he died.
She kneeled down, "Bobby, I don't know what to say. I don't know if you can hear me,
right now I don't know what to believe. I feel so lost, and it used to be when I felt
lost I turned to you. So now, here I am. I miss you so much," she said as the tears
fell down her face. "I think about you all the time, I don't talk to you like this, but
please know I haven't forgotten you. You were my best friend, and know I need you to
do me a favor. When you were here, alive, you were always there for me and for
Joey. Right now, I need you to be there for Joey. I don't know how this works, but
please don't let whoever's in control up there take him, not yet. I still love you
Bobby."
By the end of her last sentence she was crying so hard it hurt to breath. She heard
the door in the back of the chapel open. Quickly, she stood up and tried to wipe away
the tears that kept coming. She turned around to see who it was.
"Mom," she cried out. She walked fast to meet her mother half way in the aisle.
"Kim, I'm sorry. I was out with your sister. Jimmy said you went to go call me, but…"
she stopped in the middle of her sentence. "Oh, Kim come here." She said opening her
arms.
Kim collapsed into them, wrapping her arms around her mother's waist and crying into
her shoulder just like she would have done as a child. The two stood there quietly for
a few minutes. Kim slowly pulled back, and looked up at her mother.
"I'm scared Mom."
"I know Kim, lets go back upstairs. Jimmy's worried about you."
She took her mothers hand, and turned to walk out of the church.
"I love you too." She heard someone say behind her. She jumped. She turned around
and saw no one was there. She stopped and stared in the direction the voice came
from."
"What Kim? What is it?"
"Did you hear that Mom?"
"Hear what honey?"
Kim noticed the candle she lit for Bobby was blown out, but Joey's candle was glowing
brighter then any of the others.
Kim smiled, "Nothing Mom, never mind. Let's get back."
room. Kim let go of Jimmy's hand, not even remembering when she first grabbed it.
She walked to the side of Joey's bed. She placed her hands on his, and bent down to
give him a gentle kiss.
"The doctor's gave him a sedative, but I'm sure he can hear you." The nurse said as
she exited the room.
Jimmy took a deep breath, walked over to other side Joey's bed.
"Hey champ, it's Daddy. Mommy's here too." he said looking up at Kim.
Silent tears fell down Kim's face as she looked down at her son's face.
"He's so little." She said quietly to Jimmy, keeping her eyes fixed on Joey.
Joey was 7yrs old, but in size looked more like a 5yr old.
"He's strong," Jimmy replied.
Kim nodded in agreement. She thought to herself, 'Joey is stubborn like me but that
was about it. The rest of Joey is his father; his dark hair, eyebrows, and smile are
all his fathers.'
"He looks like you," she said softly to Jimmy as if it was the first time she noticed.
Jimmy smiled down proudly. He looked at his son, and thought to himself 'You're the
only thing right in life.'
"He's going to be ok." Jimmy said.
"I know," Kim answered, but she didn't really know. Every part of her body ached at
thought of losing Joey, no matter how positive she tried to think, her mind went back
to what if. Even though she was a medic herself, and knew Joey was in the best
hospital in the city, and with the best doctors, she still worried. It was part being a
mother, worrying went hand and hand with motherhood she thought to herself.
The nurse knocked lightly on the open door, "It's time to go."
Jimmy looked up and nodded, letting the nurse know he had heard her. Kim bent down,
and kissed Joey on the cheek.
"I love you sweetie, and I'll be waiting for you when you wake up." She whispered into
his ear.
Jimmy took his turn at saying goodbye. He bent down and pushed Joey's soft dark hair
off his forehead, and kissed him lightly.
"I love you buddy, I'll see you in a little while. Stay strong." By the end of this
sentence his eyes began to fill with tears and, ready to let them pour down. I can't,
he thought to himself; I have to be strong for Kim. He walked around to the other
side of the bed where Kim was standing, and lead her out gently with his hand on the
small of her back.
Jimmy, and Kim walked silently to the waiting room. The room was full of
familiar faces. The chairs were filled with the men from Jimmy's squad, his family.
They were talking amongst themselves, but stopped when they noticed the two walked
in the room.
"Hey guys," Jimmy said. He stood in front of the small crowd, not sure what he should
say or do. "Thanks for coming."
Lombardo was the first to talk, "The nurse in the ER told us they're taking Joey into
surgery, so we figured you'd all be up here."
"Thanks you guys, it's going to be awhile before we know much more. Thanks for
coming." Jimmy said.
"Can we get you anything? Do you want us to call anyone?" asked DK.
Kim looked around the room, not really paying attention to the conversation going on in
front of her.
"Where's my Mom?" she asked.
Alex stood up, and moved towards Kim.
"I called earlier, and but no one was home. I left a message, I can try her again if
you want."
"No, that's ok. I'll go call here." Kim turned to walk out the door.
"Do you want me to come?" asked Jimmy
"No, I'm ok."
Jimmy nodded, and watched Kim walk out of the room.
----------------
Kim wandered down the hall, not heading anywhere in particular. She made her way
down a flight of stairs, being in that room with all those people was too much. She
needed to be alone right now. She needed to be free to think, without having everyone
throw his or her encouragement and positive words in her face. She heard all the same
things the day Bobby died.
"He's going to be ok Kim."
"Bobby's strong Kim."
When Bobby was here, she had to be strong for his mother. She fought back
her tears, and didn't talk about what could happen, what did happen. Now, she had no
one to be strong for. Not Jimmy, he was strong enough for the two of them she
thought to herself. She could cave into every feeling she had, a curse and a blessing
at the same time.
She made her way to the chapel, not real knowing why she was going there.
She wasn't a religious person, she sent Joey to a Catholic school because it was the
only school Jimmy's parents would pay for and she felt it was safer then public school.
She walked up to the front of the chapel, and almost lit a candle. Her mind flash
backed, she was in this room with Bobby's mother praying. Then she picked up another
match, and lit a candle for Bobby, just like she did on the night he died.
She kneeled down, "Bobby, I don't know what to say. I don't know if you can hear me,
right now I don't know what to believe. I feel so lost, and it used to be when I felt
lost I turned to you. So now, here I am. I miss you so much," she said as the tears
fell down her face. "I think about you all the time, I don't talk to you like this, but
please know I haven't forgotten you. You were my best friend, and know I need you to
do me a favor. When you were here, alive, you were always there for me and for
Joey. Right now, I need you to be there for Joey. I don't know how this works, but
please don't let whoever's in control up there take him, not yet. I still love you
Bobby."
By the end of her last sentence she was crying so hard it hurt to breath. She heard
the door in the back of the chapel open. Quickly, she stood up and tried to wipe away
the tears that kept coming. She turned around to see who it was.
"Mom," she cried out. She walked fast to meet her mother half way in the aisle.
"Kim, I'm sorry. I was out with your sister. Jimmy said you went to go call me, but…"
she stopped in the middle of her sentence. "Oh, Kim come here." She said opening her
arms.
Kim collapsed into them, wrapping her arms around her mother's waist and crying into
her shoulder just like she would have done as a child. The two stood there quietly for
a few minutes. Kim slowly pulled back, and looked up at her mother.
"I'm scared Mom."
"I know Kim, lets go back upstairs. Jimmy's worried about you."
She took her mothers hand, and turned to walk out of the church.
"I love you too." She heard someone say behind her. She jumped. She turned around
and saw no one was there. She stopped and stared in the direction the voice came
from."
"What Kim? What is it?"
"Did you hear that Mom?"
"Hear what honey?"
Kim noticed the candle she lit for Bobby was blown out, but Joey's candle was glowing
brighter then any of the others.
Kim smiled, "Nothing Mom, never mind. Let's get back."