Samurai Pizza Cats in
"Nightmare on Little Tokyo"
Starring: Speedy Cerviche
Polly Ester
Guido Anchovy
Francine Manx
Christopher Julius And guest starring: Freddy Krueger
NOTE: I do NOT own anything from either Samurai Pizza Cats or Nightmare on Elm Street. With the exception of Christopher Julius and Mogo, who are copyrighted by me.
}}Chapter 1: The First Victim{{
{The scene fades in from black with a close up of C.J.'s bare chest. He has a deep scratch mark across it.}
C.J.: I just woke up this way.
Guido: You probably scratched it to hard.
C.J.: Bull shit. Why would I do this to myself?
{camera pans back, showing that all the cats are in the empty parlor. It's night time and everyone is in bathrobes. Except C.J., who only has his blue pants on.}}
Polly: {surprised by his response.} I though the writing didn't want any serious profanity.
C.J.: Fuck that! This is a fucking "R" rated fucking fanfic! I could say any fucking word I want. No one's gonna fuck with me!
Speedy: Why is he having us do a parody of a horror movie?
Fran: Cause he's a fucking fuckhead.
C.J.: Let's get back to this fucking story. I woke this way. The strange thing was. it was after I had a horrible nightmare.
Guido: A nightmare did this to you?
C.J.: You slow as fuck. Of course it did! This is a horror story!
Speedy: What was your nightmare about?
C.J.: Well. {scene ripples into his dream.} I knew it was strange from the start, cause I usually dream about.
Guido: Naked chicks dancing around you, right?
C.J.: That's YOUR dream, ass wipe! My dream is about.{pauses} How'd you know that's what I dream?
Fran: [sarcastic] Great. 2 perverted motherfuckers.
Speedy: {sheepishly.} Make that 3.
C.J.: So any way. {Cut to a scene of C.J. walking down Elm Street. It is dark and quiet.} I was walking down the weird street. It was quiet. it was night time. I just kept walkin'.
{C.J. is walking down the street.}
C.J. {still walking.} Where's the naked chicks?! {sees a shadow of a person in the distance. It's wearing a thin rimmed hat and has claws on his right hand.} Who's there?
Shadowy Figure: {spooky voice.} Don't you know it's dangerous to walk the streets at night?
C.J.: Don't you know I don't give a shit what you say! Show yourself!
{the shadow walks up closer, showing he's Freddy Krueger.}
Freddy: Welcome to my nightmare!!!
C.J.: {shouting.} WHAT!?
Freddy: Welcome to my nightmare!!!
C.J.: I can't hear you! Come closer!
Freddy: The hell with it. {camera cuts to C.J. Freddy is standing behind him.} Are you scared yet?
C.J.: [surprised.] AHH! {turns around backs away from Freddy.} How'd you do that?
Freddy: Oh. I can do much more. {takes off hat.} Watch this. {he sticks his hand inside it and pulls out a small white rabbit by the ears.}
C.J.: [amused] Not bad. {Freddy puts his hat back on and slashes the rabbit into four pieces with his claws. The bloody pieces of the rabbit fall to the ground.} [nervous] That's not right.
Freddy: What about this? {he puts his hand in his mouth and pulls out a long rainbow colored cloth like magicians do.}
C.J. [amused.] That's cool! {Freddy keeps pulling the cloth until his insides start coming out with it. They drip blood on the ground.} [nervous] Not cool. Not cool.
Freddy: {does the trick where it looks like he's pulling his finger off.} Ohh. How does he do that?
C.J.: [not amused] I can do that.
Freddy: {looks at C.J. and smiles evilly.} Catch! {he's throws his index finger at C.J.}
C.J.: {catches the finger.} [shocked] WHOA!!! {he throws the finger off screen.} That's gross, man! Shit!
Freddy: {starts to walk closer to C.J.} I want you to spread the word, that I'm coming back!
C.J.: Who are you?
Freddy: {stops walking.} No. You see, I'm not supposed to tell you my name. That defeats the purpose of a horror movie. You're suppose to do hours and hours of research trying to find out what all my victims have in common, figure out what makes me stronger, and try your best to prevent that from happening. That's how it works.
C.J. [puzzled] Could you um. say the thing about. the thing you were talkin'. what?
Freddy: [annoyed] Figures the first person I terrorize is the slowest person in the city. Just tell your friends about this dream, okay? {He then rises his clawed hand in the air and takes a swipe at C.J.'s chest, leaving a bloody claw mark.}
C.J.: {looks at his wound.} [shouting] The fuck's the matter with you, ass wipe!!!
Freddy: Just shut up and wake up! {he laughs evilly.}
{C.J. wakes up in his room and looks at his chest. It was the same mark from the dream.}
C.J.: Holy shit!!! I just bought this shirt!
{cut back to present time. C.J. is finishing his story.}
C.J.: And when I woke up, I had the same scratch.
Speedy: You're tellin' us a nightmare did this to you?
C.J.: [annoyed] Yeah! I think that was the point of the story!
{Guido, Speedy, and Polly start laughing.}
Guido: {between laughs.} Oh man! Whadda story! A nightmare did this to ya?
Polly: That's impossible!
C.J.: Well it happened to me! And believe me, I ain't goin' back to sleep!
Speedy: Go ahead. Be a paranoid, fetal positioned, insomniac.
C.J.: Could ya tell me the meaning of some of those words?
Polly: C'mon Speedy. {walking toward the stairs.} We have to "move the bed around."
Speedy: {grins smugly.} I'll be right.
Guido: {sarcastic.} Great. Now I won't get any sleep.
C.J.: I live right below you two. I wouldn't get a decent sleep if I tried!
Speedy: What are you guys talkin' 'bout? We're just "moving the bed around."
C.J.: Before or after sex?
Polly: {from upstairs.} Speedy! The bed won't move itself. {thinks.} Or maybe it will.
Speedy: {quickly.} I gotta go! {runs upstairs.}
C.J.: Well I got a lot of not sleeping to do. {walks to the kitchen and grabs a pot of coffee. He drinks the whole thing down.} [quickly] Now I can't get to sleep, and if I don't go to sleep, he can't kill me, because I didn't go to sleep, and since I'm the opposite of asleep, I'm awake, and since I'm awake, I'm not sleeping so he won't kill me.
Guido: {over C.J.'s babbling.} Talk about paranoid. {looks at Fran, who's asleep at the table. He walks over and takes her in his arms and takes her to her room.} I guess his story bored her to sleep. Well it's just a story.
C.J.: [quickly.] I'm awake, not asleep, not gonna die, awake, not asleep, not gonna die, awake, not asleep, not gonna die, awake, not asleep, not gonna die, awake, not asleep, not gonna die. {the lights turn off. He's eyes snap open.} What was dat? {looks around.} Who's there? I'm alone. I might get killed. I. {looks on the ground.} Hey! A penny! {picks it up.} [disappointed] Dammit. It's just a piece of copper. {throws it off screen.} [scared] Can't sleep. gonna die. Can't sleep.gonna die.
{cut to Fran's room. She's in her bed and fast asleep.}
Fran: {breathing slightly. Slowly her eyes open, when a loud creaking sound is hear.} What's that? {looks at the door. It slightly open.} Guido? Is that you? {The door slams shut.} [slightly scared.] Guido, this isn't funny. {windows open and shut repetitively} [more scared.] What's happening? {a small blue jay flies in through the window and lands on her bed. It tweets a little.} [relieved] Hi there little guy. {anime smile.} You're cute!
Bird: {tweets a little more than it head turns into Freddy Krueger's head.} [evil voice.] Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!
Fran: {screams.} AHH! {she jumps out of bed. She's wearing green pajamas.}
{The bird turns into Freddy Krueger and stands in front of Fran. She's whimpering a little.}
Freddy: Hello. {sniffs her.} You smell kinda nice. Is that perfume?
Fran: {nods her head.} It's rose berry.
Freddy: {excited.} Rose Berry? That's the same company that makes my cologne! They call it Deformed Murderer.
Fran: {smiles.} It smells nice.
Freddy: You think so? I've thinking of trying out this new one, Scarred Killer, but it sounded to close to what I already. {realizes he's wasting time.} [annoyed] Don't try to change the subject, bitch! I got work to do! [evilly.] You're going to die now.
Fran: [scared] What? Why?
Freddy: {whispers in her ear.} Don't worry. In this kinda situation, the virgin never gets killed.
Fran: {angry.} VIRGIN!? What makes you think I'm a virgin?
Freddy: Read the script! It says you're a virgin and that's all there is to it. {smiles evilly.} It also says that I have to do this.
{he wraps his arms around as she screams for help. He puts his hands up the back of her shirt and tries to undo her bra.}
Fran: {screams.} Let me go! Don't do this! Please don't!!! {Freddy is struggling with her bra. He can't get it off.} Help!!! {she looks at him and sighs impatiently.} Well?
Freddy: {struggling.} Well what?
Fran: [annoyed] Can we do this and end this scene already?
Freddy: {still struggling.} I'm trying! It's like opening a pad lock! Wait. {pulls back his hands and turns Fran around. He uses his claw to tear the back of her shirt off her. She's wearing a white bra and on the hook is a combination pad lock.} The hell is this? What's with the lock?
Fran: I'm not that easy.
Freddy: The virgins are never easy. Screw the script! I'll just kill you! {He readies his claws and is about to slash her.}
Fran: {screams} HELP!!!
{cut back to C.J. He's holding a cup of coffee and shaking nervously.}
C.J.: {sitting at the table with a insane smile on his face.} {laughs like Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head. He takes a sip of his coffee and laughs like that again.} I am so paranoid right now. {hears Fran screams and returns to normal.} WHAT?! That's Francine! {runs up stairs.}
{cut to Speedy and Polly rooms. They are both under the covers, rolling around and giggling. They hear Fran. They both stick there heads from out of the covers.}
Both: THAT'S FRAN!!!
{cut to Fran's room. She's backed up towards the wall, but still asleep. Freddy is still terrorizing her in her dream. C.J. dashes in and looks at Fran.}
C.J.: Fran! {sees a cut wound appear across her cheek.} What the? {eyes snap opens.} IT'S HIM!!! {see Fran struggling to get free. He tries to shake her awake.} Fran! Wake up! It's a nightmare! You gotta wake up! {she's still asleep.} Fuck! {gets an idea.} If you won't come out, I'll go in! {closes his eyes and falls asleep. He opens then and see Freddy choking Fran.} You sick fuck!!! {Freddy stops and looks at him.} Get away from her!
Freddy: {angry.} Go to hell!
C.J.: {runs toward Freddy.} After you!!! {tackles him into a wall and starts strangling him.} Die!
Freddy: {the two roll around and now Freddy is choking C.J.} You first!
C.J.: {same except he's choking Freddy.} I insist!
Freddy: {same} Be my guest!
C.J.: {same} Parzavou and I do mean you!
Freddy: {same} Ladies first!
{cut to reality. Speedy and Polly are fully dressed in armor and sees Fran against the wall and C.J. strangling air. They are both asleep.}
C.J.: Not before you! {he gets switched around and is now being straggled.}
Speedy: [puzzled] Care to tell me what's goin' on?
Polly: [same] Don't look at me.
Fran: {snaps awake.} Huh? It was all a nightmare? {sees C.J.} Oh my God!
{they all try to shake C.J. awake. He snaps open his eyes.}
C.J.: What happened? I was winning!
Polly: What the hell happened to you too?
Fran: {thinks, then gasps.} Guido! {runs out the room. Just like her dream, the back of her shirt is gone.}
{Polly, Speedy, and C.J. follow her.}
C.J.: I'm gonna kick the sorry bastard's ass!!!
{They all run to Guido's door, but stop as they reach it.}
Polly: Why'd we stop?
C.J.: Before we go in, Fran I need to ask you something.
Fran: Yes?
C.J.: What's with the lock, anyway?
Fran: {annoyed, she glares at him then opens the door. Guido is standing up with his backed turned toward the door. He's wearing a blue robe.} {smiles.} Guido! You're. {sees something. She then drops he smile.} NOT OKAY!!!
{Guido has red strings attached to his feet and hands. He's moving around like a puppet.}
Guido: {he's still asleep.} Help me!
C.J.: Wake up, stupid!!! It's a nightmare!!!
{Freddy is in the night sky, pulling the strings.}
Freddy: {laughing evilly.} My parents always said I'd make a great puppeteer.
Polly: {tries to catch Guido, but he moves out the way too quickly.} We gotta wake him!!!
Speedy: {runs towards him, but Guido jumps over him. Speedy crashes into a wall.} Fuck, man! He's too fast!
Fran: {shaking him to wake him, but Guido knocks her away.} He's in too deep a sleep!
C.J.: {thinks} I got it! {shouting to Guido.} The entire cast of "Charlie's Angels" are in pink thongs and wants to make Guido Anchovy EXTREMELY happy!!!
Guido: {snaps awake.} No kidding?! {the strings disappear.}
C.J.: {chuckles.} Works every time!
Guido: {confused.} Huh? What happened?
Speedy: {rubbing his head.} Read the damn script! We've wasted enough time on this story already!
{cut to the restaurant. Everyone is sitting at a table. They have coffee cups around them and look tired. They don't say anything for a while.}
C.J.: {breaks the silence.} I hate to say I told ya so, but.
All but C.J.: Shut the fuck up!
C.J.: I hate to say.
All but C.J.: Shut the fuck up!
C.J.: I.
All but C.J.: Shut the fuck up!
Speedy: We get it already! You were right and we were wrong.
C.J.: {smiling.} Say that again.
Speedy: [annoyed] You were right and we.
C.J.: {smiling more.} Say it with a smile.
Polly: Shut up you two! This conversation is gonna bore me to sleep.
Guido: So we can't go to sleep until we figure out how to stop this freak?
Fran: We don't even know who he is.
C.J.: {thinks.} This does seem vaguely familiar. a group of young people, can't go to asleep because of psychotic killer who kills you in your dreams. {thinks} I got it!!!
Everyone else: [amazed] You do!?
C.J.: Yeah! If we go to sleep, the killer will get us!!!
Everyone else: {falls down when they hear his comment.} IDIOT!!!
C.J.: Hey! At least I HAD an idea!
Fran: A stupid one!!!
Speedy: Look. Until we figure this out, {points to 6 cans of coffee on the table.} These are the only things separating us from death. None of else can sleep, {close up of his face.} Or it will mean certain doom.
C.J.: How many times has THAT been said in a horror movie? Couldn't you think of somethin' original? Like "You snooze, you die?"
Speedy: {annoyed.} Fine. {close up of his face.} You snooze. you die.
C.J.: {takes a sip from his coffee cup.} How can we kill the fucker before he kills us?
{5 hours later. it's now 3 AM. The cats are doing their best to stay awake. Guido and C.J. are playing cards. Speedy is loud rock music on a head set. Polly and Fran are reading magazines. Slowly the 6 cans of coffee reduce to 2. C.J. takes a sip of his cup, followed by Speedy, Guido, Polly, and Fran.}
C.J.: {excited.} I got it!
Everyone else.: {groan.} What is it?
C.J.: What if we sleep in shifts? Then if one of us in trouble, the others will wake them up.
Speedy: That's a great idea! {thinks.} Did you really think that up yourself?
C.J.: Hey! I'm just reading the script!
Polly: So who goes to sleep first?
{Everyone looks at C.J.}
C.J.: Me? No thanks!
Fran: Why not?
C.J.: It's not that I think you guys will let the killer get me but. no, wait. That's it. I don't trust you guys!
{Speedy puts his headset on C.J.'s ears, Guido puts a tape in the player. Fran puts a pillow behind his back and Polly spreads a blanket on him. The music starts playing, it's calm, soothing, beach sounds that's suppose to put people asleep.}
Polly: Tired?
Fran: {soothing.} Why don't you go asleep?
C.J.: Never! {falls fast asleep He starts snoring.}
{The cats breath a sigh of relief.}
Guido: Maybe if the killer kills someone, he'll leave everyone else alone.
Polly: Go thing he's killing a new guy.
{cut to C.J.'s dream. He's in a boiler room.}
C.J.: Fuck those guys! I can't believe they did that! I'm in a fucking boiler room! This is where someone is always guaranteed to get fragged!
{Freddy appears behind C.J.}
Freddy: Life sucks doesn't it.
C.J.: {turns around.} Fuck!
Freddy: I'll take you out of this life, through. {raises his claws.}
C.J. {ducks out of the way just as Freddy tries to slash him.} Shit! {shouting.} Someone wake me up!!! {he runs around the boiler room, trying to hide from Freddy, however Freddy is right in front of him.} Holy shit!!! {backs away.}
Freddy: {picks up a metal bar and throws it into C.J.'s stomach.} Die, bastard! {the metal bar goes right through C.J.'s stomach and out the his back. He wound starts to bleed.}
C.J.: {eyes widen as he looks at his bleeding stomach. He looks at Freddy.} Fuck.you.
Freddy: {walks up to C.J. and stabs him in the chest with his claw.} I'll make sure you have a painful death.
{cut to reality. The cats are watching C.J. as he's being killed. Speedy lifts off the blanket and sees the blood on his stomach and chest. C.J. then gets scratched in the face and chest.}
Polly: He's getting killed!
Guido: That didn't take long!
{C.J.'s opens his mouth and coughs out blood. He then falls to the fall after his throat gets a deep slash in it.}
Speedy: {shaking him awake.} C.J.! C.J.! Wake up!
{C.J. slowly opens his eyes.}
C.J.: [gargling] Speedy. is that.you?
Speedy: Yeah.
C.J.: [angrily] Fuck you! Fuck all of you! You let him kill me!
Fran: We. uh.
C.J.: Shut the fuck up! I know why you did this! You thought if he killed me, he'd leave you alone! RIGHT?! {Speedy slowly nods his head.} You're wrong. You now fear him even more. He's already chose his next victim. I won't tell you though. I'm gonna let you guys all live in fear of what happens next! To screw you guys for not waking me! FUCK YOU!!! I'LL SEE IN HELL!!! VERY SHORTLY!!!. {slowly closes his eyes. He then reopens them.} If this speech doesn't get me the "Best Actor" award, nuthin' will! {closes his eyes, and dies.}
Speedy: He's right. that oughta win him the award.
Fran: {seriously.} Looks like. it just the 4 of us.
{cut to the boiler room in C.J.'s dream. Freddy is standing in front of C.J., who's lying on the floor in a bloody mess.}
Freddy: 1 down. 4 to go. {laughs evilly. He looks at the camera.} If you like this story so far, give a review . {laughs again.}
}}END OF CHAPTER 1{{
}}BLOOPERS REEL{{
{cut to the scene where Freddy pulls the color cloth from his mouth. He then starts to gag.}
Freddy: {cough} Ack! {coughs again and spits out the cloth.} That's hard to do!
C.J.: Need some water, man?
Freddy: No, I'm good! Let's try it again.
{cut back to the Elm Street scene.}
C.J.: Who are you?
Freddy: {stops walking.} No. You see, I'm not supposed to tell you my name. That defeats the purpose of a horror movie. You're suppose to. {pause.} Know what the next line is. {C.J. starts laughing.} cause if you don't, you'll like a total idiot on camera, then the director yells a lot and we have to do the scene over again.
C.J.: {still laughing.} Could you um. say the thing about. the thing you were talkin'. {laughing louder. Freddy also laughs.}
Freddy: {laughing.} I'm sorry. I forgot what to say. can we. {laughs} Try that again?
{cut to scene where Polly walks toward the stairs.}
Polly: C'mon Speedy. {walking toward the stairs.} We have to. {smiles.} What were we suppose to do?
{Everyone starts laughing.}
Speedy: Don't you remember, we have to. {pause.} I forgot, too! {laughs louder.}
Fran: Aren't you supposed to "move the bed?"
Polly: {laughing.} That's right! That!
{cut to the scene with Fran and Freddy. He wraps his arms around as she screams for help. He puts his hands up the back of her shirt and tries to undo her bra.}
Fran: {screams.} Let me go! Don't do this! Please don't!!! {Freddy is struggling with her bra. He can't get it off. She starts giggling.} Help! {laughing.} Cut it out! You're tickling me! {still laughing. Freddy pulls out his hands.}
Freddy: Sorry 'bout that!
Fran: {giggling.} My fault! I shoulda told you I'm ticklish.
Freddy: I didn't think she'd laugh!
{cut to outside Guido's door, where C.J., Speedy, Polly, and Fran are standing by.}
Polly: Why'd we stop?
C.J.: Before we go in, Fran I need to ask you something.
Fran: Yes?
C.J.: What's with the lock, anyway?
Fran: {silent for a minute then starts laughing.} I can't hear that without laughing!
C.J.: {everyone else starts laughing.} What's so funny? I'm just sayin' my line!
{cut to C.J. sitting at a table. He's holding a cup of coffee and shaking nervously.}
C.J.: {sitting at the table with a insane smile on his face.} {laughs like Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head. He's drops the cup on the floor and breaks.} Holy shit! {the cast and crew start laughing.} {laughing.} Take a lesson from C.J.! Coffee and paranoia don't mix! {laughs a little more.}
{cut to the parlor. Speedy is about to say his line.}
Speedy: {silent. Then he starts laughing.} I forgot what to say!
{cut back to the same scene.}
Speedy: Look. Until we figure this out, {laughs.} Not again.
{Everyone else starts laughing.}
{cut to the same scene.}
Speedy: Look. Until we figure this out, {points to 6 cans of coffee on the table.} These are the only things separating us from death. None of else can sleep, {close up of his face.} Or it will mean certain doom. {everyone starts cheering. He takes a bow.}
C.J.: He finally got it!!!
Polly: About time!
{cut to the parlor}
C.J.: What if we sleep in shifts? Then if one of us in trouble, the others will wake them up.
Speedy: That's a great idea! {thinks.} Did you really think that up yourself?
C.J.: {silent.} I guess? {everyone starts laughing.} What am I supposed to say? {picks up and reads a script.} "Hey. I'm just reading the script." No I ain't if I forgot that line! {laughs.} My bad!
{cut to the parlor. The chair Guido is sitting on breaks apart. He lands on the ground.}
Guido: [surprised] Whoa! What just happened! {the crew starts laughing.}
Crew member: Sorry, Guido. We musta grabbed an old chair by mistake.
Guido: [fake anger.] Can you grab one that won't make me fall on my ass? {starts laughing.} I can't believe. how many times has that happen here?
Speedy: {also laughing.} This is the 200th time!
C.J.: Congratulations! You are the 200th unlucky bastard to have this happen to you! {cast and crew all start laughing.} What do we have for him, Johnny? {laughs.}
{cut to parlor. C.J. is being killed in his dream. He coughs.}
C.J.: {coughs. He then opens his eyes.} I think I swallowed the blood capsule!!! {runs to the bathroom. The camera follows him. {The entire cast and crew start laughing. After a minute, C.J. walks back out. His hand is closed.} I got it. Anyone want it?
Everyone else.: NO!!!
{cut to C.J.'s dying scene. He's covered in blood and laying on the ground.}
C.J.: Shut the fuck up! I know why you did this! You thought if he killed me, he's leave you alone! RIGHT?! {Speedy slowly nods his head.} You're wrong. You now fear him even more. He's already chose his next victim. I won't tell you though. {pause.} I forgot who it is! {starts laughing.} I think I need to read the script! {everyone starts laughing. He gets up.} This is going on the blooper reel, right?
{slowly fade out.}
Gamerctm: If you liked the first chapter, just wait until the next one! Review and tell me how you liked this story. Also email me at gamerctm@yahoo.com . See you next chapter!
"Nightmare on Little Tokyo"
Starring: Speedy Cerviche
Polly Ester
Guido Anchovy
Francine Manx
Christopher Julius And guest starring: Freddy Krueger
NOTE: I do NOT own anything from either Samurai Pizza Cats or Nightmare on Elm Street. With the exception of Christopher Julius and Mogo, who are copyrighted by me.
}}Chapter 1: The First Victim{{
{The scene fades in from black with a close up of C.J.'s bare chest. He has a deep scratch mark across it.}
C.J.: I just woke up this way.
Guido: You probably scratched it to hard.
C.J.: Bull shit. Why would I do this to myself?
{camera pans back, showing that all the cats are in the empty parlor. It's night time and everyone is in bathrobes. Except C.J., who only has his blue pants on.}}
Polly: {surprised by his response.} I though the writing didn't want any serious profanity.
C.J.: Fuck that! This is a fucking "R" rated fucking fanfic! I could say any fucking word I want. No one's gonna fuck with me!
Speedy: Why is he having us do a parody of a horror movie?
Fran: Cause he's a fucking fuckhead.
C.J.: Let's get back to this fucking story. I woke this way. The strange thing was. it was after I had a horrible nightmare.
Guido: A nightmare did this to you?
C.J.: You slow as fuck. Of course it did! This is a horror story!
Speedy: What was your nightmare about?
C.J.: Well. {scene ripples into his dream.} I knew it was strange from the start, cause I usually dream about.
Guido: Naked chicks dancing around you, right?
C.J.: That's YOUR dream, ass wipe! My dream is about.{pauses} How'd you know that's what I dream?
Fran: [sarcastic] Great. 2 perverted motherfuckers.
Speedy: {sheepishly.} Make that 3.
C.J.: So any way. {Cut to a scene of C.J. walking down Elm Street. It is dark and quiet.} I was walking down the weird street. It was quiet. it was night time. I just kept walkin'.
{C.J. is walking down the street.}
C.J. {still walking.} Where's the naked chicks?! {sees a shadow of a person in the distance. It's wearing a thin rimmed hat and has claws on his right hand.} Who's there?
Shadowy Figure: {spooky voice.} Don't you know it's dangerous to walk the streets at night?
C.J.: Don't you know I don't give a shit what you say! Show yourself!
{the shadow walks up closer, showing he's Freddy Krueger.}
Freddy: Welcome to my nightmare!!!
C.J.: {shouting.} WHAT!?
Freddy: Welcome to my nightmare!!!
C.J.: I can't hear you! Come closer!
Freddy: The hell with it. {camera cuts to C.J. Freddy is standing behind him.} Are you scared yet?
C.J.: [surprised.] AHH! {turns around backs away from Freddy.} How'd you do that?
Freddy: Oh. I can do much more. {takes off hat.} Watch this. {he sticks his hand inside it and pulls out a small white rabbit by the ears.}
C.J.: [amused] Not bad. {Freddy puts his hat back on and slashes the rabbit into four pieces with his claws. The bloody pieces of the rabbit fall to the ground.} [nervous] That's not right.
Freddy: What about this? {he puts his hand in his mouth and pulls out a long rainbow colored cloth like magicians do.}
C.J. [amused.] That's cool! {Freddy keeps pulling the cloth until his insides start coming out with it. They drip blood on the ground.} [nervous] Not cool. Not cool.
Freddy: {does the trick where it looks like he's pulling his finger off.} Ohh. How does he do that?
C.J.: [not amused] I can do that.
Freddy: {looks at C.J. and smiles evilly.} Catch! {he's throws his index finger at C.J.}
C.J.: {catches the finger.} [shocked] WHOA!!! {he throws the finger off screen.} That's gross, man! Shit!
Freddy: {starts to walk closer to C.J.} I want you to spread the word, that I'm coming back!
C.J.: Who are you?
Freddy: {stops walking.} No. You see, I'm not supposed to tell you my name. That defeats the purpose of a horror movie. You're suppose to do hours and hours of research trying to find out what all my victims have in common, figure out what makes me stronger, and try your best to prevent that from happening. That's how it works.
C.J. [puzzled] Could you um. say the thing about. the thing you were talkin'. what?
Freddy: [annoyed] Figures the first person I terrorize is the slowest person in the city. Just tell your friends about this dream, okay? {He then rises his clawed hand in the air and takes a swipe at C.J.'s chest, leaving a bloody claw mark.}
C.J.: {looks at his wound.} [shouting] The fuck's the matter with you, ass wipe!!!
Freddy: Just shut up and wake up! {he laughs evilly.}
{C.J. wakes up in his room and looks at his chest. It was the same mark from the dream.}
C.J.: Holy shit!!! I just bought this shirt!
{cut back to present time. C.J. is finishing his story.}
C.J.: And when I woke up, I had the same scratch.
Speedy: You're tellin' us a nightmare did this to you?
C.J.: [annoyed] Yeah! I think that was the point of the story!
{Guido, Speedy, and Polly start laughing.}
Guido: {between laughs.} Oh man! Whadda story! A nightmare did this to ya?
Polly: That's impossible!
C.J.: Well it happened to me! And believe me, I ain't goin' back to sleep!
Speedy: Go ahead. Be a paranoid, fetal positioned, insomniac.
C.J.: Could ya tell me the meaning of some of those words?
Polly: C'mon Speedy. {walking toward the stairs.} We have to "move the bed around."
Speedy: {grins smugly.} I'll be right.
Guido: {sarcastic.} Great. Now I won't get any sleep.
C.J.: I live right below you two. I wouldn't get a decent sleep if I tried!
Speedy: What are you guys talkin' 'bout? We're just "moving the bed around."
C.J.: Before or after sex?
Polly: {from upstairs.} Speedy! The bed won't move itself. {thinks.} Or maybe it will.
Speedy: {quickly.} I gotta go! {runs upstairs.}
C.J.: Well I got a lot of not sleeping to do. {walks to the kitchen and grabs a pot of coffee. He drinks the whole thing down.} [quickly] Now I can't get to sleep, and if I don't go to sleep, he can't kill me, because I didn't go to sleep, and since I'm the opposite of asleep, I'm awake, and since I'm awake, I'm not sleeping so he won't kill me.
Guido: {over C.J.'s babbling.} Talk about paranoid. {looks at Fran, who's asleep at the table. He walks over and takes her in his arms and takes her to her room.} I guess his story bored her to sleep. Well it's just a story.
C.J.: [quickly.] I'm awake, not asleep, not gonna die, awake, not asleep, not gonna die, awake, not asleep, not gonna die, awake, not asleep, not gonna die, awake, not asleep, not gonna die. {the lights turn off. He's eyes snap open.} What was dat? {looks around.} Who's there? I'm alone. I might get killed. I. {looks on the ground.} Hey! A penny! {picks it up.} [disappointed] Dammit. It's just a piece of copper. {throws it off screen.} [scared] Can't sleep. gonna die. Can't sleep.gonna die.
{cut to Fran's room. She's in her bed and fast asleep.}
Fran: {breathing slightly. Slowly her eyes open, when a loud creaking sound is hear.} What's that? {looks at the door. It slightly open.} Guido? Is that you? {The door slams shut.} [slightly scared.] Guido, this isn't funny. {windows open and shut repetitively} [more scared.] What's happening? {a small blue jay flies in through the window and lands on her bed. It tweets a little.} [relieved] Hi there little guy. {anime smile.} You're cute!
Bird: {tweets a little more than it head turns into Freddy Krueger's head.} [evil voice.] Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!
Fran: {screams.} AHH! {she jumps out of bed. She's wearing green pajamas.}
{The bird turns into Freddy Krueger and stands in front of Fran. She's whimpering a little.}
Freddy: Hello. {sniffs her.} You smell kinda nice. Is that perfume?
Fran: {nods her head.} It's rose berry.
Freddy: {excited.} Rose Berry? That's the same company that makes my cologne! They call it Deformed Murderer.
Fran: {smiles.} It smells nice.
Freddy: You think so? I've thinking of trying out this new one, Scarred Killer, but it sounded to close to what I already. {realizes he's wasting time.} [annoyed] Don't try to change the subject, bitch! I got work to do! [evilly.] You're going to die now.
Fran: [scared] What? Why?
Freddy: {whispers in her ear.} Don't worry. In this kinda situation, the virgin never gets killed.
Fran: {angry.} VIRGIN!? What makes you think I'm a virgin?
Freddy: Read the script! It says you're a virgin and that's all there is to it. {smiles evilly.} It also says that I have to do this.
{he wraps his arms around as she screams for help. He puts his hands up the back of her shirt and tries to undo her bra.}
Fran: {screams.} Let me go! Don't do this! Please don't!!! {Freddy is struggling with her bra. He can't get it off.} Help!!! {she looks at him and sighs impatiently.} Well?
Freddy: {struggling.} Well what?
Fran: [annoyed] Can we do this and end this scene already?
Freddy: {still struggling.} I'm trying! It's like opening a pad lock! Wait. {pulls back his hands and turns Fran around. He uses his claw to tear the back of her shirt off her. She's wearing a white bra and on the hook is a combination pad lock.} The hell is this? What's with the lock?
Fran: I'm not that easy.
Freddy: The virgins are never easy. Screw the script! I'll just kill you! {He readies his claws and is about to slash her.}
Fran: {screams} HELP!!!
{cut back to C.J. He's holding a cup of coffee and shaking nervously.}
C.J.: {sitting at the table with a insane smile on his face.} {laughs like Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head. He takes a sip of his coffee and laughs like that again.} I am so paranoid right now. {hears Fran screams and returns to normal.} WHAT?! That's Francine! {runs up stairs.}
{cut to Speedy and Polly rooms. They are both under the covers, rolling around and giggling. They hear Fran. They both stick there heads from out of the covers.}
Both: THAT'S FRAN!!!
{cut to Fran's room. She's backed up towards the wall, but still asleep. Freddy is still terrorizing her in her dream. C.J. dashes in and looks at Fran.}
C.J.: Fran! {sees a cut wound appear across her cheek.} What the? {eyes snap opens.} IT'S HIM!!! {see Fran struggling to get free. He tries to shake her awake.} Fran! Wake up! It's a nightmare! You gotta wake up! {she's still asleep.} Fuck! {gets an idea.} If you won't come out, I'll go in! {closes his eyes and falls asleep. He opens then and see Freddy choking Fran.} You sick fuck!!! {Freddy stops and looks at him.} Get away from her!
Freddy: {angry.} Go to hell!
C.J.: {runs toward Freddy.} After you!!! {tackles him into a wall and starts strangling him.} Die!
Freddy: {the two roll around and now Freddy is choking C.J.} You first!
C.J.: {same except he's choking Freddy.} I insist!
Freddy: {same} Be my guest!
C.J.: {same} Parzavou and I do mean you!
Freddy: {same} Ladies first!
{cut to reality. Speedy and Polly are fully dressed in armor and sees Fran against the wall and C.J. strangling air. They are both asleep.}
C.J.: Not before you! {he gets switched around and is now being straggled.}
Speedy: [puzzled] Care to tell me what's goin' on?
Polly: [same] Don't look at me.
Fran: {snaps awake.} Huh? It was all a nightmare? {sees C.J.} Oh my God!
{they all try to shake C.J. awake. He snaps open his eyes.}
C.J.: What happened? I was winning!
Polly: What the hell happened to you too?
Fran: {thinks, then gasps.} Guido! {runs out the room. Just like her dream, the back of her shirt is gone.}
{Polly, Speedy, and C.J. follow her.}
C.J.: I'm gonna kick the sorry bastard's ass!!!
{They all run to Guido's door, but stop as they reach it.}
Polly: Why'd we stop?
C.J.: Before we go in, Fran I need to ask you something.
Fran: Yes?
C.J.: What's with the lock, anyway?
Fran: {annoyed, she glares at him then opens the door. Guido is standing up with his backed turned toward the door. He's wearing a blue robe.} {smiles.} Guido! You're. {sees something. She then drops he smile.} NOT OKAY!!!
{Guido has red strings attached to his feet and hands. He's moving around like a puppet.}
Guido: {he's still asleep.} Help me!
C.J.: Wake up, stupid!!! It's a nightmare!!!
{Freddy is in the night sky, pulling the strings.}
Freddy: {laughing evilly.} My parents always said I'd make a great puppeteer.
Polly: {tries to catch Guido, but he moves out the way too quickly.} We gotta wake him!!!
Speedy: {runs towards him, but Guido jumps over him. Speedy crashes into a wall.} Fuck, man! He's too fast!
Fran: {shaking him to wake him, but Guido knocks her away.} He's in too deep a sleep!
C.J.: {thinks} I got it! {shouting to Guido.} The entire cast of "Charlie's Angels" are in pink thongs and wants to make Guido Anchovy EXTREMELY happy!!!
Guido: {snaps awake.} No kidding?! {the strings disappear.}
C.J.: {chuckles.} Works every time!
Guido: {confused.} Huh? What happened?
Speedy: {rubbing his head.} Read the damn script! We've wasted enough time on this story already!
{cut to the restaurant. Everyone is sitting at a table. They have coffee cups around them and look tired. They don't say anything for a while.}
C.J.: {breaks the silence.} I hate to say I told ya so, but.
All but C.J.: Shut the fuck up!
C.J.: I hate to say.
All but C.J.: Shut the fuck up!
C.J.: I.
All but C.J.: Shut the fuck up!
Speedy: We get it already! You were right and we were wrong.
C.J.: {smiling.} Say that again.
Speedy: [annoyed] You were right and we.
C.J.: {smiling more.} Say it with a smile.
Polly: Shut up you two! This conversation is gonna bore me to sleep.
Guido: So we can't go to sleep until we figure out how to stop this freak?
Fran: We don't even know who he is.
C.J.: {thinks.} This does seem vaguely familiar. a group of young people, can't go to asleep because of psychotic killer who kills you in your dreams. {thinks} I got it!!!
Everyone else: [amazed] You do!?
C.J.: Yeah! If we go to sleep, the killer will get us!!!
Everyone else: {falls down when they hear his comment.} IDIOT!!!
C.J.: Hey! At least I HAD an idea!
Fran: A stupid one!!!
Speedy: Look. Until we figure this out, {points to 6 cans of coffee on the table.} These are the only things separating us from death. None of else can sleep, {close up of his face.} Or it will mean certain doom.
C.J.: How many times has THAT been said in a horror movie? Couldn't you think of somethin' original? Like "You snooze, you die?"
Speedy: {annoyed.} Fine. {close up of his face.} You snooze. you die.
C.J.: {takes a sip from his coffee cup.} How can we kill the fucker before he kills us?
{5 hours later. it's now 3 AM. The cats are doing their best to stay awake. Guido and C.J. are playing cards. Speedy is loud rock music on a head set. Polly and Fran are reading magazines. Slowly the 6 cans of coffee reduce to 2. C.J. takes a sip of his cup, followed by Speedy, Guido, Polly, and Fran.}
C.J.: {excited.} I got it!
Everyone else.: {groan.} What is it?
C.J.: What if we sleep in shifts? Then if one of us in trouble, the others will wake them up.
Speedy: That's a great idea! {thinks.} Did you really think that up yourself?
C.J.: Hey! I'm just reading the script!
Polly: So who goes to sleep first?
{Everyone looks at C.J.}
C.J.: Me? No thanks!
Fran: Why not?
C.J.: It's not that I think you guys will let the killer get me but. no, wait. That's it. I don't trust you guys!
{Speedy puts his headset on C.J.'s ears, Guido puts a tape in the player. Fran puts a pillow behind his back and Polly spreads a blanket on him. The music starts playing, it's calm, soothing, beach sounds that's suppose to put people asleep.}
Polly: Tired?
Fran: {soothing.} Why don't you go asleep?
C.J.: Never! {falls fast asleep He starts snoring.}
{The cats breath a sigh of relief.}
Guido: Maybe if the killer kills someone, he'll leave everyone else alone.
Polly: Go thing he's killing a new guy.
{cut to C.J.'s dream. He's in a boiler room.}
C.J.: Fuck those guys! I can't believe they did that! I'm in a fucking boiler room! This is where someone is always guaranteed to get fragged!
{Freddy appears behind C.J.}
Freddy: Life sucks doesn't it.
C.J.: {turns around.} Fuck!
Freddy: I'll take you out of this life, through. {raises his claws.}
C.J. {ducks out of the way just as Freddy tries to slash him.} Shit! {shouting.} Someone wake me up!!! {he runs around the boiler room, trying to hide from Freddy, however Freddy is right in front of him.} Holy shit!!! {backs away.}
Freddy: {picks up a metal bar and throws it into C.J.'s stomach.} Die, bastard! {the metal bar goes right through C.J.'s stomach and out the his back. He wound starts to bleed.}
C.J.: {eyes widen as he looks at his bleeding stomach. He looks at Freddy.} Fuck.you.
Freddy: {walks up to C.J. and stabs him in the chest with his claw.} I'll make sure you have a painful death.
{cut to reality. The cats are watching C.J. as he's being killed. Speedy lifts off the blanket and sees the blood on his stomach and chest. C.J. then gets scratched in the face and chest.}
Polly: He's getting killed!
Guido: That didn't take long!
{C.J.'s opens his mouth and coughs out blood. He then falls to the fall after his throat gets a deep slash in it.}
Speedy: {shaking him awake.} C.J.! C.J.! Wake up!
{C.J. slowly opens his eyes.}
C.J.: [gargling] Speedy. is that.you?
Speedy: Yeah.
C.J.: [angrily] Fuck you! Fuck all of you! You let him kill me!
Fran: We. uh.
C.J.: Shut the fuck up! I know why you did this! You thought if he killed me, he'd leave you alone! RIGHT?! {Speedy slowly nods his head.} You're wrong. You now fear him even more. He's already chose his next victim. I won't tell you though. I'm gonna let you guys all live in fear of what happens next! To screw you guys for not waking me! FUCK YOU!!! I'LL SEE IN HELL!!! VERY SHORTLY!!!. {slowly closes his eyes. He then reopens them.} If this speech doesn't get me the "Best Actor" award, nuthin' will! {closes his eyes, and dies.}
Speedy: He's right. that oughta win him the award.
Fran: {seriously.} Looks like. it just the 4 of us.
{cut to the boiler room in C.J.'s dream. Freddy is standing in front of C.J., who's lying on the floor in a bloody mess.}
Freddy: 1 down. 4 to go. {laughs evilly. He looks at the camera.} If you like this story so far, give a review . {laughs again.}
}}END OF CHAPTER 1{{
}}BLOOPERS REEL{{
{cut to the scene where Freddy pulls the color cloth from his mouth. He then starts to gag.}
Freddy: {cough} Ack! {coughs again and spits out the cloth.} That's hard to do!
C.J.: Need some water, man?
Freddy: No, I'm good! Let's try it again.
{cut back to the Elm Street scene.}
C.J.: Who are you?
Freddy: {stops walking.} No. You see, I'm not supposed to tell you my name. That defeats the purpose of a horror movie. You're suppose to. {pause.} Know what the next line is. {C.J. starts laughing.} cause if you don't, you'll like a total idiot on camera, then the director yells a lot and we have to do the scene over again.
C.J.: {still laughing.} Could you um. say the thing about. the thing you were talkin'. {laughing louder. Freddy also laughs.}
Freddy: {laughing.} I'm sorry. I forgot what to say. can we. {laughs} Try that again?
{cut to scene where Polly walks toward the stairs.}
Polly: C'mon Speedy. {walking toward the stairs.} We have to. {smiles.} What were we suppose to do?
{Everyone starts laughing.}
Speedy: Don't you remember, we have to. {pause.} I forgot, too! {laughs louder.}
Fran: Aren't you supposed to "move the bed?"
Polly: {laughing.} That's right! That!
{cut to the scene with Fran and Freddy. He wraps his arms around as she screams for help. He puts his hands up the back of her shirt and tries to undo her bra.}
Fran: {screams.} Let me go! Don't do this! Please don't!!! {Freddy is struggling with her bra. He can't get it off. She starts giggling.} Help! {laughing.} Cut it out! You're tickling me! {still laughing. Freddy pulls out his hands.}
Freddy: Sorry 'bout that!
Fran: {giggling.} My fault! I shoulda told you I'm ticklish.
Freddy: I didn't think she'd laugh!
{cut to outside Guido's door, where C.J., Speedy, Polly, and Fran are standing by.}
Polly: Why'd we stop?
C.J.: Before we go in, Fran I need to ask you something.
Fran: Yes?
C.J.: What's with the lock, anyway?
Fran: {silent for a minute then starts laughing.} I can't hear that without laughing!
C.J.: {everyone else starts laughing.} What's so funny? I'm just sayin' my line!
{cut to C.J. sitting at a table. He's holding a cup of coffee and shaking nervously.}
C.J.: {sitting at the table with a insane smile on his face.} {laughs like Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head. He's drops the cup on the floor and breaks.} Holy shit! {the cast and crew start laughing.} {laughing.} Take a lesson from C.J.! Coffee and paranoia don't mix! {laughs a little more.}
{cut to the parlor. Speedy is about to say his line.}
Speedy: {silent. Then he starts laughing.} I forgot what to say!
{cut back to the same scene.}
Speedy: Look. Until we figure this out, {laughs.} Not again.
{Everyone else starts laughing.}
{cut to the same scene.}
Speedy: Look. Until we figure this out, {points to 6 cans of coffee on the table.} These are the only things separating us from death. None of else can sleep, {close up of his face.} Or it will mean certain doom. {everyone starts cheering. He takes a bow.}
C.J.: He finally got it!!!
Polly: About time!
{cut to the parlor}
C.J.: What if we sleep in shifts? Then if one of us in trouble, the others will wake them up.
Speedy: That's a great idea! {thinks.} Did you really think that up yourself?
C.J.: {silent.} I guess? {everyone starts laughing.} What am I supposed to say? {picks up and reads a script.} "Hey. I'm just reading the script." No I ain't if I forgot that line! {laughs.} My bad!
{cut to the parlor. The chair Guido is sitting on breaks apart. He lands on the ground.}
Guido: [surprised] Whoa! What just happened! {the crew starts laughing.}
Crew member: Sorry, Guido. We musta grabbed an old chair by mistake.
Guido: [fake anger.] Can you grab one that won't make me fall on my ass? {starts laughing.} I can't believe. how many times has that happen here?
Speedy: {also laughing.} This is the 200th time!
C.J.: Congratulations! You are the 200th unlucky bastard to have this happen to you! {cast and crew all start laughing.} What do we have for him, Johnny? {laughs.}
{cut to parlor. C.J. is being killed in his dream. He coughs.}
C.J.: {coughs. He then opens his eyes.} I think I swallowed the blood capsule!!! {runs to the bathroom. The camera follows him. {The entire cast and crew start laughing. After a minute, C.J. walks back out. His hand is closed.} I got it. Anyone want it?
Everyone else.: NO!!!
{cut to C.J.'s dying scene. He's covered in blood and laying on the ground.}
C.J.: Shut the fuck up! I know why you did this! You thought if he killed me, he's leave you alone! RIGHT?! {Speedy slowly nods his head.} You're wrong. You now fear him even more. He's already chose his next victim. I won't tell you though. {pause.} I forgot who it is! {starts laughing.} I think I need to read the script! {everyone starts laughing. He gets up.} This is going on the blooper reel, right?
{slowly fade out.}
Gamerctm: If you liked the first chapter, just wait until the next one! Review and tell me how you liked this story. Also email me at gamerctm@yahoo.com . See you next chapter!