[b][u][I]If Tomorrow Never Comes[/b] - Part 18 [/u][/I]
Sydney almost felt like laughing. 'Miss him?' The class were waiting patiently for her answer as well as Vaughn. Sydney decided to play him and the class. She couldn't say anything in front of her class and she felt that her relationship with Vaughn wasn't like it used to be.
"I can't answer that, Vaughn," she said simply. She almost could hear his heart thud. Vaughn kept his face and tried not to show his disappointment. Instead, there was an awkward pause that almost killed both of them.
"I know you hate being a spy and I know you've got your own life here, but you can't turn your back on your country," Vaughn began changing the subject.
"I'm not turning my back on anything!" Sydney snapped. How dare he even suggest that. Ok, she *had* left it behind, but it didn't mean she didn't care. "I had to leave because I didn't want to hurt anybody else. I already killed Danny, Noah and Will," There were mutters around the class as their teacher admitted to killing several guys.
"Noah was an assassin, if you didn't kill him, he would have killed you," Vaughn told her. He'd reassured her on this many times.
"He was my ex-boyfriend for God's sake! I was sick of every guy I loved dying on me. I loved Danny so much but because of my big mouth, it got him killed! And then there was Will two years ago. It wasn't an accident, you know that," Sydney told Vaughn. Vaughn nodded.
"Yeah, well, there's a lot of things that wasn't an accident," Vaughn said quietly. Seeing Sydney's questioning look, he elaborated. "One of our agents was captured by Amy about 8 months after you left. SD-6 wanted information on you, but she didn't know anything - so they killed her," Sydney looked at the ground, "And what's more, they passed her body off as yours, so as far as Francie and your friends are concerned, you're dead," Vaughn finished off, softly.
Sydney gulped hard. There seemed to be no words to describe the way she was feeling. She realised she hadn't totally realised the full effects that her leaving would have done. Francie thought she was dead? Sydney wished she could go to her best friend and hug her. She didn't realised what SD-6 had done. Tears sprung into her eyes as she imagined Francie at home alone.
"I-I-I…" she struggled for words as she looked at Vaughn's expectant face. Sydney sighed. This still wasn't going to bring her back. She refused to let herself get embroiled into that life again, "In that case, there is no point in me coming back, is there?" she said crossing her arms and firmly holding her answer.
"You're just going to let Francie think you're dead?" Vaughn asked dumbfounded by Sydney's utter lack of concern.
"If I can back, it would confuse her and I'd have to tell her the truth. I don't want her to get hurt as well!"
"By not coming back, you're putting more people's lives in jeopardy," Vaughn argued back. As weird as it may have seemed, he was enjoying arguing with her. It had been a long time since he had. And truth be told, Sydney was enjoying it as well - not that she'd let on.
The school bell rang as the class groaned and were forced to leave the room. Vaughn and Sydney were both relieved but they knew kids and gossip. After lunch, Sydney's affiliations would be the talk of the school and she would have a lot of explaining to do. But that was the least of their problems.
As the last of the students filed past, Sydney sighed as she sat on her desk, putting her head in her hands to indicate how tired she was.
"I don't want to get back into that life, Vaughn," Sydney looked at the floor, "Because I'm afraid that if I do, I won't ever get back out of it," Tears sprung into her eyes.
Vaughn suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Here he was trying to convince her to come back for his benefit. He had completely forgotten everything she'd gone through. The lies, the hurt, the betrayals. All of that had plagued her all her life and he of all people should have known as he knew her best. But if she didn't come back, there was no chance of the cause of all her pain ever becoming non-existent.
"I know you've been through a lot, Syd, believe me. But think about what you'd be giving up," Vaughn sighed before going on. He knew what he was about to say might anger her, but he had to give it a shot. "Don't you feel you owe it to Danny and Will and all those other agents inside SD-6 like Dixon and Marshall?" Vaughn hazarded another step closer to the desk. "Sydney, it's not just you who has been hurt and lied to. There are hundreds of innocents - Amy among them - who have been brainwashed to believe anything that comes out of Arvin Sloane's mouth," Vaughn took her hands and crouched down in front of her. Sydney looked down at him, somewhat mesmerized.
"So please, come back," he pleaded one last time. Sydney looked up at him with tears brimming in her artificial grey eyes. She slipped her hands out of his and answered in barely a whisper.
"I…can't," she said, "Please, don't ask me again. Just leave," she added curtly. Vaughn looked up at her, knowing he'd failed. Almost on automatic pilot, he stood up, brushed down his suit and stepped back. Sydney refused to watch as the love that she'd lost walked out of the door - and out of her life.
[b]TBC[/b]
Sydney almost felt like laughing. 'Miss him?' The class were waiting patiently for her answer as well as Vaughn. Sydney decided to play him and the class. She couldn't say anything in front of her class and she felt that her relationship with Vaughn wasn't like it used to be.
"I can't answer that, Vaughn," she said simply. She almost could hear his heart thud. Vaughn kept his face and tried not to show his disappointment. Instead, there was an awkward pause that almost killed both of them.
"I know you hate being a spy and I know you've got your own life here, but you can't turn your back on your country," Vaughn began changing the subject.
"I'm not turning my back on anything!" Sydney snapped. How dare he even suggest that. Ok, she *had* left it behind, but it didn't mean she didn't care. "I had to leave because I didn't want to hurt anybody else. I already killed Danny, Noah and Will," There were mutters around the class as their teacher admitted to killing several guys.
"Noah was an assassin, if you didn't kill him, he would have killed you," Vaughn told her. He'd reassured her on this many times.
"He was my ex-boyfriend for God's sake! I was sick of every guy I loved dying on me. I loved Danny so much but because of my big mouth, it got him killed! And then there was Will two years ago. It wasn't an accident, you know that," Sydney told Vaughn. Vaughn nodded.
"Yeah, well, there's a lot of things that wasn't an accident," Vaughn said quietly. Seeing Sydney's questioning look, he elaborated. "One of our agents was captured by Amy about 8 months after you left. SD-6 wanted information on you, but she didn't know anything - so they killed her," Sydney looked at the ground, "And what's more, they passed her body off as yours, so as far as Francie and your friends are concerned, you're dead," Vaughn finished off, softly.
Sydney gulped hard. There seemed to be no words to describe the way she was feeling. She realised she hadn't totally realised the full effects that her leaving would have done. Francie thought she was dead? Sydney wished she could go to her best friend and hug her. She didn't realised what SD-6 had done. Tears sprung into her eyes as she imagined Francie at home alone.
"I-I-I…" she struggled for words as she looked at Vaughn's expectant face. Sydney sighed. This still wasn't going to bring her back. She refused to let herself get embroiled into that life again, "In that case, there is no point in me coming back, is there?" she said crossing her arms and firmly holding her answer.
"You're just going to let Francie think you're dead?" Vaughn asked dumbfounded by Sydney's utter lack of concern.
"If I can back, it would confuse her and I'd have to tell her the truth. I don't want her to get hurt as well!"
"By not coming back, you're putting more people's lives in jeopardy," Vaughn argued back. As weird as it may have seemed, he was enjoying arguing with her. It had been a long time since he had. And truth be told, Sydney was enjoying it as well - not that she'd let on.
The school bell rang as the class groaned and were forced to leave the room. Vaughn and Sydney were both relieved but they knew kids and gossip. After lunch, Sydney's affiliations would be the talk of the school and she would have a lot of explaining to do. But that was the least of their problems.
As the last of the students filed past, Sydney sighed as she sat on her desk, putting her head in her hands to indicate how tired she was.
"I don't want to get back into that life, Vaughn," Sydney looked at the floor, "Because I'm afraid that if I do, I won't ever get back out of it," Tears sprung into her eyes.
Vaughn suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Here he was trying to convince her to come back for his benefit. He had completely forgotten everything she'd gone through. The lies, the hurt, the betrayals. All of that had plagued her all her life and he of all people should have known as he knew her best. But if she didn't come back, there was no chance of the cause of all her pain ever becoming non-existent.
"I know you've been through a lot, Syd, believe me. But think about what you'd be giving up," Vaughn sighed before going on. He knew what he was about to say might anger her, but he had to give it a shot. "Don't you feel you owe it to Danny and Will and all those other agents inside SD-6 like Dixon and Marshall?" Vaughn hazarded another step closer to the desk. "Sydney, it's not just you who has been hurt and lied to. There are hundreds of innocents - Amy among them - who have been brainwashed to believe anything that comes out of Arvin Sloane's mouth," Vaughn took her hands and crouched down in front of her. Sydney looked down at him, somewhat mesmerized.
"So please, come back," he pleaded one last time. Sydney looked up at him with tears brimming in her artificial grey eyes. She slipped her hands out of his and answered in barely a whisper.
"I…can't," she said, "Please, don't ask me again. Just leave," she added curtly. Vaughn looked up at her, knowing he'd failed. Almost on automatic pilot, he stood up, brushed down his suit and stepped back. Sydney refused to watch as the love that she'd lost walked out of the door - and out of her life.
[b]TBC[/b]