Chapter 4

The Man Who Should Not Exist

"Our deepest apologies, boss!" The Flying Fisher Riders looked nervously at Duval. "We'll pull them into the ocean right—"

"Get out of my way!" Motobaro's hooves closer to the platform, forcing Hachi to jump out of the way as to not get trampled. Duval didn't care for his men's excuses, "I have no business with fishmen or mermaids! If you want to escape, then go wherever the hell you want!" —or his prisoners. No, Duvall's focus was primarily on the Thousand Sunny.

"…Boys, you know I haven't been running this operation because I enjoy it, don't you…!?"

"Of course boss!" one of his men called out.

Duval shivered in anticipation. "Today is a glorious day…! The man I've wanted to kill… That I've wanted to kill so badly that I see it in my dreams—! Now he's right before my eyes! I'm so grateful. God must be smiling down upon me!"

"Is he talking about us over here?" Usopp asked out loud. When Duval showed up all of the Flying Fish Riders had stopped flying around the Thousand Sunny. They were either underwater or in the water, paying attention to their boss. Max and the remaining crew had come over to the port side to observe this head honcho.

"The man who suddenly condemned me to to this hell…" Duval pointed right at the Straw-Hat crew, "Right here. Right now! I'll kill you, even if I have to kill myself to do it! YOU! BLACK LEG, SANJI!"

"…Sanji?" Maxwell raised an eyebrow, looking between their chef and the crime boss.

"Me!? That guy wants to kill me?" Sanji just as confused as the rest of the crew.

"Sanji, who is that guy? He looks like he's got a grudge against you," Franky asked their chef. Their chef was an ass, but as far as they knew, neither the crew or Sanji had ever encountered this Duval before.

"Is he someone from your time on the Baratie?" Nami questioned. "Think back!"

"Jeez, that was so long ago…" Sanji started rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I did get into a lot of fights with people back then." He even started counting the number men he fought on the Baratie, using his fingers. And he was quickly losing count…

Usopp and Chopper crowded their delinquent cook. "This is your comeuppance." "Don't cause any more trouble. That guy's scary."

You'd think you'd remember a guy three times your size…

"DON'T PLAY DUMB, BLACK LEG! THIS HAPPENED JUST RECENTLY!" Duval aimed his hornet's nest launcher at the Thousand Sunny and fired it's payload at the chef.

"Look out! Take cover!" Usopp shouted. Everybody took cover as a volley of harpoon tips came at them. Mostly, everyone ducked, except for Maxwell. He instead donned the Fade Cloak and let the darts pass through him. They were certainly powerful, like ballista bolts. A cluster even managed to break a part of the side rails!

"Something recent!?" Sanji looked back up at the helmed rider. "Gah, this is getting more confusing!"

"…Wait! There's something weird about these harpoons!" Usopp exclaimed, seeing the harpoons start to smoke in the lawn. Maxwell immediately cast Barrier on everyone. If those harpoons were fast enough to break Sunny's side rails, he did not want anyone to know what they were laced with.

Duval loaded another payload into his launcher. "These harpoons are dosed with scorpion venom! Just one scratch and you'll be dead in three minutes! Have a taste of my anger!" Duval fired the happen launcher again, "You and your comrades are all going to die!"

Maxwell immediately stepped in front of Robin, and telekinetically spun his staff to deflect any stray harpoons. They bounced against the metal staff with sharp ringing note. Usopp and Chopper immediately ran behind the mage to get out of danger, but Nami had no choice but to dive back.

"Nami, look out!" Sanji jumped in front of Nami as she screamed and kicked about a half-dozen spears out of the air. She was safe, but even as he deflected the projectiles, he had to lean and twist to avoid being skewered by more harpoons. "That bastard! I just can't remember him! Who the hell are you!?"

Duval kept firing at the Thousand Sunny. His rage ignored everything else, but his desire to kill "Black Leg" Sanji. However, the hail of harpoons came to a stop when their captain ran up to Duval and kicked that iron mask clean off his face! He had forgotten part of the Straw-Hat Pirates were still on the platform with him.

"ACK!" "THAT BASTARD!" "Duval's iron mask.!"

"It's fine!" Duval called out to his henchmen. The kick had hurt, but he accepted the pain. "Take a good look…! TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT MY HAUNTED FACE!" the head rider roared at the Sunny, revealing his face to the entire crew.

"WHAT THE—!?"

"WHAT!?"

"No way…!"

"How in Andraste's scared—!"

Duval's face…

…

…

…

…looked exactly like Sanji's wanted poster.

"He's…!" "Well, now." "Oh my." "Uooo… I'm crying."

Sanji's crudely drawn, cartoonish replacement for a wanted photo, on his wanted poster. And it looked just like Duval!

"Ie ha bin waiten fo this day… I wen oun ta sea with me heart set on killin' you! But finding you was too difficult… because the face on the wanted poster was different from the real man's face!"

He had split ends, in a shaggy blonde hair cut that covered one eye. His lips were thick and plush, with a sharp divot under his doggy paw nose. Duval even had the same eclipsed rhombus eye and a curling spiral eyebrow!

"If any marine or bounty hunter saw the man on this poster, they wouldn't just walk by! No, that would never happen! They would have thought they found you!" And when they find me, they would say, 'We found you, Black Leg Sanji!' And then I would tell them… YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG MAN! I'M NOT EVEN A PIRATE!"

Duval's wrath had manifested into painful tears, "Do you understand the fear I felt at suddenly having people after my head!? The marines started coming after me! Infamous bounty hunters were even trying to kill me! JUST WHAT DID I DO!? GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK!"

"NOT MY PROBLEM!" Sanji jumped and kicked Duval straight across his face. While Duval had been monologuing his entire predicament, Sanji had dove straight into the water to reach the platform and confront the slaver.

"…What do you mean, 'Not my problem!?'" Duval yelled back at the chef, after he straightened back up onto his buffalo mount. "You have to take responsibility for this!"

"SHUT UP!" Sanji barked at the crime boss, "I'm the one who should be ashamed of that poster!" Sanji absolutely loathed the fact that his wanted photo was an inaccurate hand-drawn approximation of his face. His photo should have been the envy of men, where woman swooned to his dashingly handsome rogue looks! Not that piece of crap!

"I'm so surprised… The world's such a big place…" Nami honestly couldn't believe her eyes, and neither could most of the crew.

"Was Sanji born under a miraculous star of something?" Usopp was studying both of their faces, as if trying to calculate the possibility of this happening.

"I'm sure he'll have a fascinating death someday."

"Who? Sanji or his doppelgänger?" Maxwell asked their archeologist.

Franky kept crying at the unfortunate circumstance, "I feel so sorry for that Duval guy."

"So stuff like this actually does happen…" Chopper look on in awe.

Back at the pier, Hachi, Camie, Pappagu, Brook, and Zoro were also looking between the two outlaws.

"Nyu~ They look just like eachother."

Zoro crossed his arms, "Like two peas in a pod."

"YOHOHOHOHOHO! YOHOHOHOHOHO!" Brook had actually fallen down laughing. Pounding the ground as he couldn't hold back his mirth!

"BROOK! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS LATER! YOU HEAR ME!" Sanji didn't appreciate Brook's suddenly found funny bone tingling his skeleton.

"Okay Sanji, we'll go on ahead," Luffy waved at his hand in a dismissive manner.

"ARE YOU SAYING THIS IS MY FAULT!?" Sanji yelled at his captain while pointing at his look-alike. Growling, he turned his attention back to Duval, "Did you even think about ways to make yourself look different from the wanted posters!? Change your hair, grow a beard, or something!?"

…

…

…

Duval and his crew all widened their eyes in realization, catching their fists like a wooden mallet. "Oh yeah! We could have done that!"

"YOU'RE ALL COMPLETE MORONS!"

"We're not morons, Black Leg! We're…!" Duvall's voice softened as he became reminiscent, "We were, once, just a small time mafia outfit in the backwaters of the South Blue… We'd go around threatening villagers, extorting stores, picking fights… It was a happy life…!"

…Huh?

"But then one day.,, A bunch of marines, who were on a whole other level from us, showed up. I got this big scar on my back while running away… And I donned the Iron Mask to never show my face again…!"

Maxwell blinked again… Nothing between Duval's words, or his sentiment, should have matched.

"It's your fault my life has become so messed up!" Duval accused Sanji. "I'll chase you into the depths of hell! If you have a problem with that, then just kill me now!"

Sanji then tackled Duval, and pinned him down by stepping on his throat.

"ACK! You're… killing… me…!"

"BOSS!" the Flying Fish Riders called out.

Sanji glared down at the gangster, "I didn't hear anything in your lame accusations that explains why you would put Nami in danger too!"

"Grk!" Duval glared up at him even with Sanji's foot on his throat, "That ship is the reason why you became such a notorious pirate in the first place! Of course my hatred would extend to the rest of your crew! You can all go to hell!" Duval then raised his launcher again and fired at Sanji. The chef jumped out of the way, flipping head over heel as Duval unloaded his weapon at him. He barely avoided being pierced by harpoons, or being touched by their poison laced barbs.

Duval then picked up the receiver of his den-den mushi sitting on his saddle, "Get into position!"

Two Flying Fish Riders then burst out of the water, holding a giant fishing net between the two of them. They were zooming like rockets, swiftly banking to catch Sanji in their net! Sanji, being close to the water's edge, realized he was in trouble. He didn't have time to react or get out of the way!

"Sanji!" "Break the net! They're trying to pull you into the water!"

However, this was no ordinary fishing net. This was a galvanized steel cable, weaved into a net! Much stronger than your usual stringed fibres. "Crap!"

"Suffer, and drown!"

"SANJI!" Chopper called out.

The Flying Fish Riders dove into the ocean, dragging Sanji down with them, caught in the net.

Franky immediately towards the porthole near the mast, "Crap! Usopp help me get—" Maxwell stepped in front of the cyborg before he could get to far.

"If you get in the water, your a dead man!" He was looking between Franky and where the Flying Fish Riders had caught Sanji. "Even if you're in the shark submerge, their planning to drown us all as soon as we give them a chance!"

That didn't stop the group on the platform though, "Shit! I'll save—!"

Zoro immediately jumped in front of Luffy, "You can't go, you idiot!" —making sure he didn't dive into the ocean again. "I'll go get him!"

"Wait!" Hachi called out, "A human can't catch them in the water! Leave it to me!"

"Hahahaha!" Duvall laughed at their futility, "You fool, even a fishman won't be able to catch them! Flying fish have the top highest speed among any animal in the ocean!"

"Nyu!?" Hachi skid in his tracks, realizing he wasn't going to be able to catch up with them.

"Plus my riders are carrying oxygen tanks, so they can stay underwater for several minutes! We call this the Watery Grave punishment! The next time Black Leg sees the surface, he'll be a drowned corpse!" Duval then began to laugh, having finally felt some semblance of satisfaction for his revenge.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Luffy wanted Duval to say that again, so he could kick his ass!

"It's okay! I'll save him!" Amazingly, it was Camie who jumped first into the water.

"Hey, cowboy. You seem to be forgetting something." Duval looked down to see Pappagu standing on the platform with his two "arms" crossed. "It's true that flying fish are faster than any animal in the ocean. But the 'top highest speed' in the ocean?' Ha! No. That title is reserved for no one but the mermaids! Nothing in this whole wide world can match a mermaid in the water!"

"Nothing can match her?" Luffy looked at the starfish, dubiously.

"Trust me! It's hard for anybody to catch a mermaid when they're really paying attention!"

Luffy nods, "I see," taking the starfish's word for it. "Camie! Take care of Sanji!"

Maxwell also wished her all speed, even as he heard something come out of the water. The Flying Fish Riders were flying out of the water again, only they were flying around in a low corkscrew. Each flying fish had a cable attached to their harness, flying higher and higher. They were pulling something out of the water. A giant anchor, almost as large as the Thousand Sunny itself!

"Huh!?" "What's that!?" "That giant anchor is way too huge!"

"[Target the Straw-Hat's ship!]" Duval said over the intercom, "[Drop it right in the middle and sink them! They've got Devil Fruit users! If we get them in the water, victory is ours!]"

"This is bad!" Franky put on his sunglasses, suddenly serious, "If they drop that, they'll sink us in one shot!" Adam treasure wood may create a rather impervious ship, but that did not make the Thousand Sunny indestructible!

"We have to evade it! Can we use Coup de Burst or the Paddle Sunny to make it in time!?" Usopp suggested.

"No, they're too slow!" Franky replied. But he did take Usopp up to the helm. "Usopp! Get in the bow and wait for my signal!"

"Get in the bow?" Usopp looked at Franky confused. There wasn't any between the the wheel and the stairs leading on Sunny's figurehead! "Er—Okay!" He started looking around, trying to figure out what Franky meant.

"We're using our emergency secret weapon!"

"Secret weapon!?" Usopp's head snapped back to look at the cyborg.

Maxwell gaze was more focused on the anchor. "Sunny, please tell me Franky actually gave you some hidden function to get us out of here…!" He whispered a thought out to Sunny. While the chimera klabauterman didn't respond with an answer, Maxwell certainly felt a rather smug sensation ebbing through the Fade.

Then the tethers keeping the anchor aloft snapped!

"Have faith in the ship!" Franky called out. And somehow, the petals of Sunny's stylized mane began to spin!

"Sink!" Everybody looked at the anchor with dreadful anticipation. It was like Garp's giant meteor all over again! Like watching a guillotine fall to chop off your head!

"Emergency Evasion Secret Weapon!" Franky called out, and then pulled the leaver, "CHICKEN VOYAGE!"

The blades of Sunny's mane then reved up to impossible speed, creating an air current around them. It actually had enough force to push Sunny backwards! Like the propellers in the Shark Submerge!

"Holy—!" "They dodged it!" "That's impossible! I've never heard of a ship that could back up !"

"Usopp get in the bow, now!"

"The bow? But how—!?" Usopp then heard a clicking noise again and looked at the staircase. There was a seam misaligned with the haul's edge. Usopp then pulled back the staircase back, revealing a chamber inside. "I can go inside!?"

"Don't think we're only evading!"

Maxwell then felt Sunny prowling in the Fade. He was waiting for something, like a predator stalking his prey! Then the muzzle of Sunny's lion figurehead dropped down, revealing a cannon hidden between Sunny's jaws.

"AWESOME!" Chopper looked at the hidden gun with twinkling eyes. It was so cool! Luffy was probably just as enamoured.

"Get as many as you can in the ring!" Franky shouted out instructions, "Then lock on and pull the lever!"

Usopp must have done something, because the gun muzzle began to glow wth gathering energy!

"Thousand Sunny Secret Weapon: GAON CANNON!"

A giant beam of pure energy fired from Sunnny's muzzle! It shot at the platform with a deafening boom! Wood and straw when flying, as a wave of pure destruction burst forth from the gaon's impact! Most of the Flying Fish Riders had been caught up in that blast, having collected above the platform's buildings.

Maxwell looked back at the platform, felling Sunny's victorious satisfaction in the Fade. All the buildings in front of the Thousand Sunny had been leveled. Nothing but broken wood had been left in it's wake, and Maxwell could distinctly see Luffy looking at the carnage with stars in his eyes.

"HAHAHA!" Franky laughed seeing the handiwork of his masterpiece, "Witness the Thousand Sunny's true power!"

"Most of the Flying Fish riders were taken out by that attack!" Nami and Robin also looked around, seeing the Flying Fish Riders knocked back into the sea.

"That's because of Usopp's sniper skills! Not bad for your first time, Usopp! Great shot!"

Usopp climbed out of the hidden chamber and looked at what the Gaon Cannon had done, "…What firepower…!" And like Luffy and Chopper, he too had stars twinkling in his eyes.

"YOUR AMAZING LION-CHAN!" Maxwell head Brook shout out. "I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head!"

Luffy also joined Brook in cheering, "SUNNY!"

Franky then took out a bottle of cola from his iron abbed compartment stomach, "The forward blast uses about three barrels of cola—" The cyborg smiled as he took a swig, "But to prevent the ship from flying backwards, another two barrels are used for the Coup de Burst. It uses a lot of cola, so we can't use it too often."

"By the Maker…!" Maxwell then realized this had been the first large scale weapon he'd seen that didn't involve a Devil Fruit, magic, or some form of gaatlok. And Franky had figured out how to do it without all three! And if Sunny was able to replicate whatever his body could do… Well, he felt bad for Mordred.

"HEY!"

A splash then emerged from the ocean, revealing their friend of a mermaid. "Camie!"

"Thank goodness! Is Sanji okay!" Chopper joined Nami at the port side.

"Everyone!" Camie started swimming towards the dock, Sanji held in her arms, "—This is bad! Sanji-chin is losing a lot of blood!"

"Did they beat him up underwater!?" Chopper asked, shocked at the thought of the brutality.

"I thought I saved him, but he just started bleeding from his nose as we came up!"

"A nosebleed…!?"

…

…

…

Maxwell facepalmed, "Oh for the love of…!"

Usopp had also caught on to the source of Sanji's malady, "…Whatever, just leave him… if he dies, so be it…"

Sanji was having a nosebleed from Camie holding him near her bosom.

"I'm with Usopp. He can patch himself up too!" Maxwell walked away from the rails. He didn't want to deal with whatever thoughts was running through that pervert's head either.

"He looks happy anyway," Usopp commented.

"Damn it! He's still alive!" Duval cursed seeing the chef being kept afloat by that pink tailed mermaid.

"You don't have to many guys left," Luffy told the gangster.

"Why you—!" Duval's fury crackled like campfire logs. It's sparks suddenly catching Luffy as the object of his ire.

"You think you can say that so casually, you little punk!?" Duval didn't care what Luffy's bounty was, "Then I'll have you know just how fearsome Motobaro is."

"I've lost count of how many people have fallen prey to his horns!" Motobaro snorted as Duval sat properly in the saddle. The buffalo scraped it's hoof across the platform, ready to charge at any moment. "Motobaro has opened up holes in the village dam. And if he's caged up, then he'll just break out! The only reason I managed to escape from the marines is because of this guy's horns!"

Luffy just cracked his knuckles, "Alright, I'll stop him."

"He's called the Heart Stopping Horns! Go, Motobaro!" The buffalo charged at Luffy at a dead sprint.

"Luffy, look out!" Chopper warned his captain. However, all that hype had been for nothing.

"He's not even using his horns!" Luffy had caught the charging bull, but it looked like Motobaro had only tried to run him over, not gore him.

"You know it's pointless to fight me," Luffy told the bison.

"Argh!" Then pain suddenly flared in Maxwell's head as he felt something try to press into his mind. It was that that sensation again! The same one he felt when the cerberus had been tamed!

Maxwell immediately returned to the rail and looked at where Luffy was standing. "Hm? Hey, what's wrong, Motobaro!?" Duval asked his mount. The massive buffalo was suddenly very skittish, backing away from Luffy.

Maxwell was amazed. He remembered druffalo grazing in the fields as he wandered Thedas. No cattle like creature Maxwell had ever seen suddenly stopped rampaging. Their anger only ever dissipated until it's target ran away, or dead under it's hooves.

Was this what Alabasta had warned him about…?

*BUOO—BUOOO~!* The buffalo swerved, it's massive bulk swaying as it turned. Motobaro was running away, and it had thrown his rider in the process.

"Hey! Motobaro! Where are you going!?" Motobaro didn't go far. The animal had been so distressed it lost it's footing and fell over. Duval's faithful mount had fainted, frothing at the mouth.

"What happened? What did Luffy do!?" Nami asked not understanding why the bull acted like that.

Luffy looked just as confused as everyone else, "I didn't do anything!" except for Maxwell and Duval. Maxwell had an inkling to what this might be, but even he didn't exactly understand it. Duval was acting like the animal had died, trying to wake his comrade.

"It didn't look like he attacked," Robin observed. "It looked like Luffy just simply intimidated the cow with his presence."

"That's a pretty overwhelming victory, right?" Usopp asked, "That huge thing just fainted!" And there was barely any other enemies.

"Is that even possible?" Franky wondered.

Duval suddenly turned, picked up his launcher, "Goddamn you, Straw-Hat Pirates!" Luffy raised his fist, ready to fight this guy one-on-one, but stopped when a voice spoke behind him.

"Hey. Wait a second Luffy…"

It was Sanji, waterlogged, and exhausted from nearly drowning. He was walking towards them like some haunting ghost.

"Sanji! I'm glad you're okay!" Luffy smiled, happy his friend was doing alright. Camie had brought him not the pier to recover, but the chef had gotten up anyways.

The chef barely acknowledged Luffy's well wishes, "This whole accusation mess with this idiot… I'm going to put an end to it…!"

"'Put an end to it…' 'Put an end to it,' Black Leg!?" Duval aimed his hornet's nest, "Then die! As long as you live, and continue being a pirate, I'll never be able to live in peace! I've had enough of these false accusations!" Duval fired the harpoons at his most hated enemy, intending to kill this man once and for all!

Sanji kicked, jumping out of the way of the harpoons and towards Duval, "Shut up! I don't even want to see that scribbled face on my wanted poster either! That guy doesn't exist!"

"OEIL!" "GYAAAH!"

Sanji had kicked Duval right at the centre of his face, but the chef didn't stop there.

"NEZ—! JOUE—! BOUCHE—! DENT—! MENTON—!" "P-Please stop—!"

Sanji kept kicking Duval in the face, one kick after another. He was relentless, accenting every strike with his usual orlesian naming scheme, and building up to his final blow!

"PARAGE SHOT!"