LISA
Jisoo's developed quite the attitude since the night she attempted to assault me. She threw a tantrum at the airport when she saw me standing at the baggage claim and realized I was here to pick her up instead of her mum. Karen had agreed to allow me to pick her daughter up, maybe because she didn't want to go out after Vance's party, or maybe because she pities me. I'm not sure either way, but I'm glad she did.
For her part, Jisoo is flat-out annoyed, claiming that I'm the biggest asshole she's ever met, and refusing to get into the car with me at first. It took me nearly twenty minutes to convince my lovely stepsister that riding with me had to be better than walking thirty miles in the middle of the night.
After a few miles of driving in silence, I pick up the conversation where we agreed to let it die back in the terminal. "Well, I'm here, Jisoo, and I need you to tell me what I should do. I'm split. Right down the fucking middle."
"Between what and what?" she asks.
"Between leaving here and going back home to Thailand to ensure that Jennie has the life that she deserves, and driving over to Rosé's and fucking murdering her."
"Where does she fit into the latter of those?"
I look at her and shrug. "I would make her come with me after I murder her."
"That's the problem here. You think you can make her do whatever you want, and look where that got you."
"I didn't mean it like that. I just mean . . ." I know she's right, so I don't even try to finish that thought. "But she's with Rose—I mean, how did that even happen? I can't fucking see straight thinking about it." I groan, rubbing my temples.
"Well, maybe I should drive, then?" Jisoo is so fucking annoying.
"Lisa, she stayed the night with her Friday and hung out with her all day Saturday."
My vision literally goes black. "What? So . . . she's just . . . so she's dating her?"
Jisoo traces a pattern on the window. "I don't know if she's dating her . . . but I do know that when I talked to her Saturday she said she'd laughed for the first time since you deserted her."
I scoff. "She doesn't even know her." I can't believe this shit's happening.
"Not to be a jerk, but you can't ignore the irony of the fact that you were so obsessed with her being with someone like her, but she ends up seeing someone just like you," Jisoo says.
"She's nothing like me," I say and try to focus on the road before I end up breaking down in front of Jisoo. I stay quiet the rest of the ride to my father's house.
"Did she cry at all?" I finally ask when I pull up to the driveway.
Jisoo looks at me incredulously. "Yes, for a week straight." Then she shakes her head. "Man, you have no idea what you've done to her, and you didn't even care. You're still only thinking about yourself."
"How can you say that when I've done this for her? I've kept myself away so that she can move on. I don't deserve her, you told me that yourself, remember?"
"I do, and I still mean it. But I also think she should be the one to decide what she deserves," she says with a huff and gets out of my car.
HANBIN TAKES A PUFF from his joint, then looks at it intensely. "I haven't really been doing shit lately, just hanging out. Bambam barely comes around anymore; he's stuck up Wendy's ass."
"Hmm," I murmur. I take a sip from my beer and look around his shit apartment. I don't even know why I came here in the first place, but I didn't know where else to go. I'm sure as hell not going back to that apartment tonight. I can't believe Jennie is with Rosé—what the actual fuck.
And Jisoo wouldn't call Jennie and trick her into coming back to my father's house no matter how many times I tried to force her to. She's a dick.
Still, I have to admit I admire her loyalty, but not when it stands in the way of what I want. Jisoo said I should allow Jennie to make the choice whether she wants to be with me or not, but I know what she'd choose. Well, I thought I did.
I was completely blindsided by Rosé picking her up and having spent almost the entire weekend with her.
"What's going on with you?" Hanbin asks me, his pot smoke blowing right in my face.
"Nothing."
"I must say I was pretty surprised to have you show up at my door tonight after what happened the last time I saw you," he reminds me.
"You know why I'm here." "Do I?" he taunts.
"Jennie and Rosé. I know you know about it."
"Jennie? Jennie Kim and Rosé Park?" He smiles. "Tell me." He needs to wipe that goddamned smile off his face.
After I meet him with silence, he shrugs. "I don't know anything about it, honest." He takes another drag, and small flakes of the white paper fall onto his lap, not that he seems to notice.
"You're never honest." I take another sip.
"Yes, I am. So they're fucking?" He raises a brow.
I nearly choke on my breath from his question. "Don't fucking go there. Have you seen them together?" I breathe in and out slowly.
"Nope, I don't know anything about them." Hanbin puts his joint in the ashtray. "I thought she was dating some high school chick."
I stare at a pile of dirty laundry in the corner of the room. "So did I." "So she ditched you for Rosé?"
"Don't mock me, I'm not in the mood."
"You came here asking questions. I'm not mocking you," Hanbin sneers.
"I heard they were together on Friday, and I wanted to know who was there."
"I don't know. I wasn't, though. Don't you two live together or some shit?" He takes his wannabe-hipster glasses off and places them on the table.
"Yes. Why do you think I'm so pissed about this shit with Rosé." "Well, you know how she's after what you—"
"I know." I hate Hanbin, I really do. And Rosé. Couldn't Jennie have chosen Taehyung to move on with? Holy shit, I never thought I would consider her being with Taehyung a positive.
I roll my eyes and fight the urge to knock Hanbin through his coffee table. This is getting me nowhere, none of this is—the drinking, the anger, none of it.
"You're sure you don't know shit, because if I find out you do, I will kill you. You know that, don't you?" I threaten, meaning every word.
"Yes, dude, we all know how psychotic you are over this chick. Stop being such a dick."
"I'm just warning you," I tell him, and he rolls his eyes.
Why did I start hanging out with him in the first place? He's a fucking slime ball, and I should have let our so-called friendship end with me beating his ass.
Hanbin gets up and does a slow stretch. "Well, man, I'm going to bed now. It's four a.m. You can crash on the couch if you want." "No, I'm good," I say and head for the door.
It's four in the morning, and it's cold outside, but I'll never be able to sleep knowing she's with Rosé. At her apartment. What if she's touching her? What if she spent this entire weekend touching her?
Would Jennie fuck her to spite me?
No, I know her better than that. This is a girl who still blushes each time I slide her panties down her thighs. However, Rosé can be pretty convincing, and she could have her drinking. I know she can't handle alcohol—two drinks and she starts cursing like a sailor and trying to unfasten my belt.
Fuck, i Rosé gets her drunk and touches her . . .
I make a U-turn right in the middle of the intersection and hope there are no cops around, especially since they'll smell the beer on my breath.
Fuck this staying-away-from-her shit. I may have been a dick to her, and I have treated her like shit—but Rosé is far worse than me. I love her more than Rosé do, or any other man, possibly could. I know what I had now. I know what the fuck I had to lose—and now that I've lost it, I need it back. Rosé can't have her, no one can. No one except me.
Goddammit. Why didn't I just apologize to her at the party? That's what I should have done. I should have dropped to my knees in front of everyone and begged for her to forgive me, and we could be in our bed together right now. Instead I argued with her, and accidentally knocked her over when I was so mad I couldn't tell who was who.
Rosé is a fucking prick. Who the fuck does she think she is, picking her up from that party? Is she serious?
My anger is getting the best of me again. I need to calm down before I get there. If I stay calm she'll speak to me, I hope.
By the time I get to Rosé's door, it's four thirty in the morning. I stop and stand still for a few minutes in an attempt to calm myself down. Finally, I knock and wait impatiently.
Just as I'm about to turn my knocking into pounding, the door swings open, revealing Tyler, Rosé's roommate, who I've spoken to a few times when they had parties here.
"Manoban? What's up, man?" he slurs.
"Where's Rosé?" I push past him, not wasting any time.
He rubs his eyes. "Dude, you know it's like five in the morning, right?" "Nope, only four thirty. Where . . ." But then I notice the folded-up blanket on the couch. Neatly folded: a Jennie indicator. It takes a moment for my brain to connect to the fact that the couch is empty.
Where is she if she's not on the couch?
Bile rises in my throat, and I lose the ability to breathe for the hundredth time tonight. I storm across the apartment, leaving a confused Tyler in my wake.
When I open Rosé's bedroom, it's dark, near pitch black. I pull my phone from my pocket and switch on its flashlight. Jennie brunette hair is sprawled out on the pillow under her, and Rosé is shirtless.
Oh my fucking God.
When I find the light switch and flip it on, Jennie stirs and rolls over onto her side. My boot hits the edge of a desk with a loud thud. She scrunches her eyes shut and then opens them slightly to find the source of disruption.
I try to think of what to say as I process the scene in front of me. Jen and Rosé in bed, together.
"Lisa?" she whines, and a frown takes over as she appears to wake up. She looks over to Rosé before she looks up at me, clearly shocked. "What . . . what are you doing here?" she asks frantically.
"No, no. What are you doing here! In bed with her?" I try my best not to shout, my fingernails digging into my palm.
If she fucked her, I'm done, completely and utterly fucking done with her.
"How did you get in here?" she asks, her face full of sadness. "Tyler let me in. You're in her bed? How could you be in her bed?"
Rosé rolls over onto her back and wipes her eyes, then she pops up and sits ready, eyeing me where I stand in the doorway. "What the hell are you doing in my room?" she demands.
Don't, Lisa. Stay still. I have to stay fucking still or someone will end up in the hospital. That someone is Rosé, but if I'm going to get Jennie away from her, I have to stay as calm as possible.
"I came to get you, Jennie. Let's go," I say and reach my hand out, even though I'm across the room.
Her brow furrows. "Excuse me?"
Here comes the infamous Jennie attitude . . .
"You can't just come to my apartment and tell her to leave." Rosé moves to get out of bed, and I see she's only in loose gym shorts that sag down to show her boxers.
I don't think I can stay calm.
"I can, and I just did. Jennie . . ." I wait for her to get off the bed, but she doesn't move.
"I'm not going anywhere with you, Lisa," she tells me.
"You heard her, man. She's not coming with you," Rosé taunts me.
"I wouldn't start that shit right now. I'm trying with every fucking fiber of my being not to do anything that I'll regret, so just shut the fuck up," I growl.
Rosé throws her arms wide in challenge to me. "It's my apartment, my bedroom at that—and she doesn't want to go with you, so she's not. If you want to fight me, then go ahead. But I'm not going to force her to go if she doesn't want to." When she finishes, she gives her the fakest concerned expression I've ever seen.
I let out an evil laugh. "That's the plan, though, isn't it? You get me mad enough so I beat your ass, and she'll feel bad for you, and I'll be the monster who everyone is afraid of? Don't buy into this shit, Jennie!" I shout. I can't stand the fact that she's still sitting in Rosé's bed, and even more I can't stand the fact that I can't beat the shit out of Rosé for it because that's exactly what she wants.
Jennie sighs. "Just go."
"Jennie, listen to me. She isn't who you think she is, she's not Ms. Fucking Innocent."
"And how's that?" she challenges.
"Because . . . well, I don't know—yet. But I know she's using you for something. She just wants to fuck you—you know this," I tell her, struggling to keep hold of my emotions.
"No, she doesn't." She says it flatly, but I can see she's getting angry. "Dude, you should just go—she doesn't want to leave. You're making a fool out of yourself."
When the words leave her busted lip, my body starts to shake. I have way too much anger that I need to let out.
"I warned you—to shut the fuck up. Jennie, stop being difficult and let's go. We need to talk."
"It's the middle of the night, and you—" she begins, but I cut her off. "Please, Jennie."
Her expression changes as she hears my words, and I have no idea why. "No, Lisa, you can't just come here and demand that I leave with you!"
Rosé shrugs and nonchalantly says, "Don't make me call the cops, Lisa."
And that's it. I take a step toward her, but Jennie jumps up off the bed and steps between us. "Don't. Not again," she begs, her eyes staring directly into mine.
"Then come with me. You can't trust her," I tell her.
Rosé scoffs. "And she can trust you? You blew it, just face it. She deserves better than you, and if you would just let her be happy—"
"Let her be happy? With you? As if you actually want a relationship with her? I know you only want to get in her pants!"
"That's not true! I care about her and I could treat her better than you ever did!" she shouts back in my face, and Jennie presses her palms against my chest.
I know it's stupid, but I can't help but revel in her touch, the way her hands feel against me. I haven't felt her touch in so long.
"Both of you stop, please! Lisa, you have to go."
"I'm not leaving, Jennie. You're too naïve, she could give a shit about you!" I yell in her face.
She doesn't even blink. "And you do? You were 'too busy' to call me for eleven days! She was there when you weren't, and if . . ." she shouts, and continues shouting something at me, but right then I notice her clothing.
Is she? She isn't . . .
I take a step back to find out for sure. "Are those . . . what the hell are you wearing?" I stammer and begin to pace back and forth.
She looks down, seeming to have forgotten her attire.
"Are those her fucking clothes?!" I nearly scream. My voice cracks and I tug at my hair.
"Lisa . . ." She tries to speak. "Indeed they are," Rosé answers for her.
If she's wearing Rosé clothes . . . "Did you fuck her?" I croak, tears threatening to spill at any given moment.
Her eyes go wide. "No! Of course not!"
"Tell me the truth right fucking now, Jennie! Did you fuck her?" "I already answered you!" she shouts back.
Rosé stands back and watches with a worried look on her bruised face. I should have done more damage.
"Did you touch her? Oh my fucking God! Did she touch you?" I'm frantic and I don't give a shit. I can't handle this; if she touched her I couldn't stand it, I wouldn't be able to.
I turn to Rosé before either of them can answer. "If you touched her at all, I swear to fucking God I don't give a shit if she's here or not, I'll—"
She steps between us again, and I see fear in her eyes.
"Get out of my apartment now or I'm calling the police," Rosé threatens me.
"The police? You think I give a flying—"
"I'll go." Jennie's voice is soft in the middle of the chaos. "What?" Rosé and I say in unison.
"I'll go with you, Lisa, only because I know you won't leave unless I do."
And I feel relief. Well, a little. I don't give a fuck why she's coming, only that she is.
Rosé turns to her, almost pleading. "Jennie, you don't have to go; I can call the cops. You don't have to leave with her. This is what she does,she controls you by frightening you and everyone around you."
"You're not wrong . . ." She sighs. "But I'm exhausted, and it's five in the morning, and we do have stuff to talk about, so this is the easiest way."
"It doesn't have to—"
"She's coming with me," I tell Rosé, and Jennie shoots me a glare that would surely kill me dead if it could.
"Rosé, let me just call you tomorrow. I'm so sorry that she came here," she tells her softly, and at last she nods, finally understanding that I've won. She's fucking sulking, and she better not fall for it.
Actually, I'm really surprised she's agreeing to come with me so easily . . . but she does know me better than anyone else, so she was right when she said I wouldn't leave until she came with me.
"Don't apologize. Be careful, and if you need anything, don't hesitate for a moment to call me," Rosé says to her.
It must suck to be a little bitch and not be able to do shit about me showing up at her apartment in the middle of the night and taking Jennie with me.
Jennie doesn't speak a word as she walks out of her bedroom and stalks to the bathroom across the hall.
"Don't come near her again. I've already warned you before, and you haven't gotten the hint yet," I say when I reach the bedroom door.
Rosé glowers at me, and if it weren't for Jennie calling my name from the living room, I would have snapped her neck.
"If you hurt her, I swear to God I will make it the last time!" she says loud enough for her to hear as we walk through the door and out into the snow.