She bit her lip and exhaled. Holding her bag tightly she entered the
hospital. She had given no sign that she was returning and she wondered if
anybody ever thought about her anymore, if anybody even remembered. She
wondered how things were back up in Ward 17. Was Terri still the calm,
together NUM and girlfriend of Mitch, was Nelson still the tactless,
controlling 2IC, Charlotte still the dry, realistic Medical Registrar.
Only a matter of minutes would tell.
So far she hadn't run in to anyone she knew yet and it felt strange, feeling so connected to a place, whilst also feeling so detached. It was a very unnerving feeling.
She stepped into a lift. She was the only person in the elevator. She adjusted her red lace tank top, that she always thought had looked good on her slim figure but that today didn't seem quite right, over her bootleg denim jeans.
She emerged from the lift and was immediately flooded with the noise and blare of the busy workday. She spotted Bron who had cut her hair into a shorter style and was showing a pregnancy bump, taking a patient's file from Luke, who looked exactly the same in his snappy shirts, spiky streaked hair and earring. Charlotte was running around trying to find a patient's file that Paula suspected had been left in the sunroom. Von enduring a telling off by Nelson, who was on warpath storming after a patient, Von looking at wit's end disappearing into the Supply Closet. It was like she had never left. Suddenly she felt a wave of uncertainty come over her. What was she supposed to do? Waltz in and sing 'Hi guys, I'm back?' After such a disgrace she had left in so many years ago? But before she could decide she heard her name called out.
"Paula?"
She whirled around and found her face just inches from Terri and was immediately flooded with memories. Terri her ex-NUM. Terri who had fired her from her job, despite knowing that she was a single parent, who had just lost her mother whom she was very close to and had just been raped and fallen pregnant. Terri who had betrayed her and caused her so much pain. Terri.
"Paula?" Repeated Terri. It was one of the only time she had seen Terri uncertain but this was it at it's best.
Suddenly Paula was overcome with the feeling of panic. She knew it was going to be hard but this was too much. Trapped and not seeing any other option, she bolted for the stairs. "Paula!" Yelled Terri.
Paula sensed Terri's footsteps chasing her but didn't stop nor turn around.
Tears were now rolling down her face. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have thought that she could just waltz back into All Saints like everything was okay? Everything wasn't okay, that was why she had left. In fact it had been a downright mess.
Paula was a strong person who didn't like to show her feelings and she had become accustomed to erecting barricades to herself, especially after the events of the past few years, not allowing people to come too close to her, afraid of the consequential hurt she might suffer. But this flood of emotions was too much. She quickly took the stairs two at a time stumbling on the last step. She broke her fall with her hands but didn't stop. Crying openly she ran out of the hospital - right into the path of a speeding car.
"Paula!"
So far she hadn't run in to anyone she knew yet and it felt strange, feeling so connected to a place, whilst also feeling so detached. It was a very unnerving feeling.
She stepped into a lift. She was the only person in the elevator. She adjusted her red lace tank top, that she always thought had looked good on her slim figure but that today didn't seem quite right, over her bootleg denim jeans.
She emerged from the lift and was immediately flooded with the noise and blare of the busy workday. She spotted Bron who had cut her hair into a shorter style and was showing a pregnancy bump, taking a patient's file from Luke, who looked exactly the same in his snappy shirts, spiky streaked hair and earring. Charlotte was running around trying to find a patient's file that Paula suspected had been left in the sunroom. Von enduring a telling off by Nelson, who was on warpath storming after a patient, Von looking at wit's end disappearing into the Supply Closet. It was like she had never left. Suddenly she felt a wave of uncertainty come over her. What was she supposed to do? Waltz in and sing 'Hi guys, I'm back?' After such a disgrace she had left in so many years ago? But before she could decide she heard her name called out.
"Paula?"
She whirled around and found her face just inches from Terri and was immediately flooded with memories. Terri her ex-NUM. Terri who had fired her from her job, despite knowing that she was a single parent, who had just lost her mother whom she was very close to and had just been raped and fallen pregnant. Terri who had betrayed her and caused her so much pain. Terri.
"Paula?" Repeated Terri. It was one of the only time she had seen Terri uncertain but this was it at it's best.
Suddenly Paula was overcome with the feeling of panic. She knew it was going to be hard but this was too much. Trapped and not seeing any other option, she bolted for the stairs. "Paula!" Yelled Terri.
Paula sensed Terri's footsteps chasing her but didn't stop nor turn around.
Tears were now rolling down her face. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have thought that she could just waltz back into All Saints like everything was okay? Everything wasn't okay, that was why she had left. In fact it had been a downright mess.
Paula was a strong person who didn't like to show her feelings and she had become accustomed to erecting barricades to herself, especially after the events of the past few years, not allowing people to come too close to her, afraid of the consequential hurt she might suffer. But this flood of emotions was too much. She quickly took the stairs two at a time stumbling on the last step. She broke her fall with her hands but didn't stop. Crying openly she ran out of the hospital - right into the path of a speeding car.
"Paula!"