The next thing Paula remembered was waking up in hospital. She struggled
to open her eyes. She tried to lift her head but gave up and let it sink
back into the pillow. Her head felt heavy and she had a pounding headache.
"Ah, you've come back to us." She recognized Von's voice.
A door opened.
"Is she awake?" She heard a murmured voice ask.
"Yes, just woke up."
"Oh, thank god."
She felt a shadow over her body and someone took her hand.
"Paula, can you remember what happened?" It was Terri.
She felt uneasy being so close to Terri but was too weak to argue.
"I-I"
She closed her eyes and thought back. She remembered the horrible panicked and trapped feeling and the bolting down the stairs right into the path of a -
"You were hit by a car." Said Terri gently. "You got a couple bruises and cuts and needed two stitches on your left elbow and you broke your left ankle but other than that you're okay."
"Can I go?" She began to ask feebly, but as she raised her head the whole room started to spin, images swimming in her head.
She sub-consciously put her hand on her forehead and sank back into bed.
"Paula we have to keep you in at least over night because you passed out for quite a while."
She paused uncomfortably as if she was working up to a big speech.
"Look, Paula, I know you're angry,"
Paula turned onto her side facing away from Terri and cut her off. Suddenly her eyes filled with hot tears, the feelings of anger and hurt returning.
"I think I have a right to be. Okay it's been a few years but it doesn't change things. Do you know just how hard it was? Trying to get through one day, without thinking of attempting suicide? I was going through one of the worst times in my whole life. I had Max to look after, mum had just died and I had just gotten raped and found out I was pregnant. I accept that I made a mistake okay? People make mistakes, but you didn't care, did you?"
"Paula,"
"Look, I'm tired, I don't want to talk about this right now , I'm just going to go back to sleep - if that's all right with you."
She knew she sounded sassy and had been downright rude, but she wasn't ready to resolve issues just yet and besides, she really was tired.
Terri paused for a minute before replying. "Okay." She said softly.
Paula closed her eyes but didn't sleep. She could hear Von, who was one of the only people she had left still on good terms with, checking various things and writing on her chart.
"Von?" She said quietly.
"Yes?"
"Did Ben and Bron get married? Are they having their first child?" It all came blurting out. I knew Von felt uncomfortable, evident from the uncharacteristic hesitate in her voice.
"Well, ah."
"Von." She said plainly.
Paula might have been tired and maybe a bit out of it, but she wasn't going to take any shit.
"Yeah. They got married a few months after you left and um, it's their second. They had one about eighteen months ago. Names' Stefan, after Steph, his first wife, gives 'em hell sometimes but he's mostly a good bugger-"
Von broke off when she realized that Paula had started sobbing quietly.
"I'm sorry."
Paula didn't reply as she buried her face in her pillow. She had spent years convincing herself then Ben was nothing to her, and after months and months of telling herself this, she had finally began to believe this, until it was the only truth she knew. But now, back in Sydney, back in ASWGH, it all seemed so..so..real.
Meanwhile outside Terri was talking to Bron.
"So, anyway she got hit by a car."
"Is she okay?" Asked Bron.
"Yeah I think so. She was blacked out for quite a bit but she's going to be okay..." Terri trailed off. "This must be really hard for her. You know, like everything that happened and all that...."
"Yeah."
"Who's nursing her?" Asked Bron.
"Um, Von I think Nelson assigned her because you know, they were still okay when she left." Replied Terri absently.
"Um...do you um, think it would, ah be a good time to sort of you know, I just um, I just want to talk to her, you know?" Explained Bron uncertainly.
"I don't know." Answered Terri truthfully. "I think it's all a bit much for her now. I mean all the memories that just came back to her, it's really hard."
Terri didn't mention that she had just blown up at her.
"Maybe just leave her for the moment?"
"Okay."
Meanwhile as the nurses had been talking, someone had slipped into the ward unnoticed.
Paula, shifted in the bed. Although her eyelids felt heavy and her head thumped dully, Paula wasn't tired enough to sleep. Suddenly she heard a noise and the door began to swing open. She felt her stomach drop and she gasped out loud as she her eyes landed on who was behind it.
"Ah, you've come back to us." She recognized Von's voice.
A door opened.
"Is she awake?" She heard a murmured voice ask.
"Yes, just woke up."
"Oh, thank god."
She felt a shadow over her body and someone took her hand.
"Paula, can you remember what happened?" It was Terri.
She felt uneasy being so close to Terri but was too weak to argue.
"I-I"
She closed her eyes and thought back. She remembered the horrible panicked and trapped feeling and the bolting down the stairs right into the path of a -
"You were hit by a car." Said Terri gently. "You got a couple bruises and cuts and needed two stitches on your left elbow and you broke your left ankle but other than that you're okay."
"Can I go?" She began to ask feebly, but as she raised her head the whole room started to spin, images swimming in her head.
She sub-consciously put her hand on her forehead and sank back into bed.
"Paula we have to keep you in at least over night because you passed out for quite a while."
She paused uncomfortably as if she was working up to a big speech.
"Look, Paula, I know you're angry,"
Paula turned onto her side facing away from Terri and cut her off. Suddenly her eyes filled with hot tears, the feelings of anger and hurt returning.
"I think I have a right to be. Okay it's been a few years but it doesn't change things. Do you know just how hard it was? Trying to get through one day, without thinking of attempting suicide? I was going through one of the worst times in my whole life. I had Max to look after, mum had just died and I had just gotten raped and found out I was pregnant. I accept that I made a mistake okay? People make mistakes, but you didn't care, did you?"
"Paula,"
"Look, I'm tired, I don't want to talk about this right now , I'm just going to go back to sleep - if that's all right with you."
She knew she sounded sassy and had been downright rude, but she wasn't ready to resolve issues just yet and besides, she really was tired.
Terri paused for a minute before replying. "Okay." She said softly.
Paula closed her eyes but didn't sleep. She could hear Von, who was one of the only people she had left still on good terms with, checking various things and writing on her chart.
"Von?" She said quietly.
"Yes?"
"Did Ben and Bron get married? Are they having their first child?" It all came blurting out. I knew Von felt uncomfortable, evident from the uncharacteristic hesitate in her voice.
"Well, ah."
"Von." She said plainly.
Paula might have been tired and maybe a bit out of it, but she wasn't going to take any shit.
"Yeah. They got married a few months after you left and um, it's their second. They had one about eighteen months ago. Names' Stefan, after Steph, his first wife, gives 'em hell sometimes but he's mostly a good bugger-"
Von broke off when she realized that Paula had started sobbing quietly.
"I'm sorry."
Paula didn't reply as she buried her face in her pillow. She had spent years convincing herself then Ben was nothing to her, and after months and months of telling herself this, she had finally began to believe this, until it was the only truth she knew. But now, back in Sydney, back in ASWGH, it all seemed so..so..real.
Meanwhile outside Terri was talking to Bron.
"So, anyway she got hit by a car."
"Is she okay?" Asked Bron.
"Yeah I think so. She was blacked out for quite a bit but she's going to be okay..." Terri trailed off. "This must be really hard for her. You know, like everything that happened and all that...."
"Yeah."
"Who's nursing her?" Asked Bron.
"Um, Von I think Nelson assigned her because you know, they were still okay when she left." Replied Terri absently.
"Um...do you um, think it would, ah be a good time to sort of you know, I just um, I just want to talk to her, you know?" Explained Bron uncertainly.
"I don't know." Answered Terri truthfully. "I think it's all a bit much for her now. I mean all the memories that just came back to her, it's really hard."
Terri didn't mention that she had just blown up at her.
"Maybe just leave her for the moment?"
"Okay."
Meanwhile as the nurses had been talking, someone had slipped into the ward unnoticed.
Paula, shifted in the bed. Although her eyelids felt heavy and her head thumped dully, Paula wasn't tired enough to sleep. Suddenly she heard a noise and the door began to swing open. She felt her stomach drop and she gasped out loud as she her eyes landed on who was behind it.