AN: This was a challenge on Pari106's site - an unconventional pairing. And I thought this was pretty unconventional. And I added some of my own ideas - and I was depressed. This is the result. I know there aren't any M/K shippers, but it is M/L at the same time, so give it a chance.
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Dark eyes. Dark hair. Smooth skin.
You know, I always thought that Ordinaries had confusing relationships. Brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, half-step siblings… so many rules and regulations about the way you love someone. It bewildered me when I was younger. I mean, I was sleeping with Syl, but that didn't change anything between us; I love her just like I love Zack, Jondy, Brin, Zane, Tinga, Ben and Max. Maxie.
I wonder if Deck knows how much he fucked us up. How everything in our god-damned lives are fucked because of his so-called dream, Manticore. I wouldn't be surprised if Manticore was responsible for the Pulse, you know. Think about it; twelve X5s escape and Manticore panics. What better way to wipe out all records of us that may have leaked out? Manticore screwed us up, why couldn't it screw the world too?
I'm always restless. Can't stand things staying too much the same. Jondy's another one who was restless; Zane and Zack took care of that for her. Syl's not restless. I was with Syl for ten years, sleeping with her for six of them. Too damn long for me. Then we went with Max and Zack for the raid on Manticore. And I went back to Syl, instead of walking away like I promised myself; she lost Zack and I lost Max. But then, how long does it take for an X5 relationship to end? With the fighting, fucking, the tempers and the tears? Poignant, I know. Well, it took me three months to leave Syl. I left her in a drug induced haze in a sleazy night club in New Orleans. I just got up and left her in that club alone. And stole her bike, and went to Seattle. To look for people who had known Maxie. To see what sort of person she had been.
But she was there. And she was alive. All tall, dark hair, dark eyes, creamy skin… the complete antithesis to Syl… she was just… Max…
But she was unhappy. Alive and unhappy. She couldn't touch Logan, and couldn't bring herself to fall for Alec, the man who wore Ben's face. I left her alone - I was just a complication she didn't need - and I went in search of something. At the time, my mind convinced me I was looking for Syl; or more specifically, sex with Syl. I am a guy after all, and nothing boosted my ego more than having sex with Syl.
I didn't find Syl. I forgot about Syl the second I saw Max on television, as the leader of the "freaks". I turned Syl's bike around and went back to Seattle, to help her. The stupidest thing I ever did. Maybe if I'd found Syl first, and done the smart thing - married her - and saved everyone from everything that went wrong. But I went to Max because something inside me… her scent, her body, her… it was the same thing that originally drew me to Syl. Something unnameable.
Seeing her up close without anything - like a mission - to distract us was incredible. I felt like everything in my life had been justified, just being able to hold her and ask her about the eleven years I missed out on. It was the singularly most satisfying night of my life.
I stayed in Terminal City with Max. I'd never wanted to spend so much time with one person before. We talked and we just bonded.
Logan was out of the picture - well, he'd gone back to his family's cabin. He couldn't stay in Terminal City because of the toxins. So, he went to stay at his cabin until it all blew over. Moron. Though, I shouldn't complain…
We were looking through some of the old warehouses for some reason I don't recall. And it was hot. Or maybe that was just us.
Me and Max. She was laughing at something and I just pulled her against me and kissed her.
Like no brother should kiss his sister. And Max liked it. I know she liked it, because I liked it. I liked the way her body felt against mine, I like the moaning noise she made as I kissed along her neck, undoing her jeans.
It felt good. Hot, sweaty sex in an abandoned warehouse. X5 women are amazing. Incredible. But Max… Max was in a league all of her own. And as we lay on the concrete floor of the warehouse, trying to catch our breath, I knew - and she knew - this wasn't a one time thing. This was something different. This was something that had trapped us, a cycle we'd never be able to break.
We decided not to tell anyone. After all, Max was officially with Logan. And I thought of her as my baby sister. I don't know. I look back and I know we were both idiots. I'd like to make excuses and say "because we were lonely." But I wasn't lonely. I didn't need Max. I just wanted her. She was fucking intoxicating and I hate her for what she's done to me, but I love her at the same time. A love that can't be defined by a title or a neat category. Max wanted Logan, and I wanted her to be happy. We just agreed not to say anything to anyone about what we'd done and move on.
But we didn't. I was doing her in my room, in broom closets, wherever prying eyes couldn't see. It was good.
Alec knew. Alec knew from the beginning. He smirked at me a lot but never made any comment to Max or Logan, which surprised me. He did say it was a sibling thing which made me wonder for awhile. But we never talked about it again.
And time moved on, like it always does.
Then the transgenics were free - well, we were allowed out of Terminal City for so many hours at a time, but we weren't being murdered in the street.
And I saw Syl again for the first time in four years.
She looked thinner and tireder. She looked older. Maybe years of taking all those drugs had caught up with. Maybe it was the cigarette she chain-smoked in the presence of… well, anyone male. Her hands were always shaking, like a seizure she couldn't quite get over.
I saw her and Max stand next to each other and I realised how fiercely I loved Max. Syl looked faded and old in comparison to Max's … purity. Max was gorgeous. I couldn't keep my hands off her when we were alone and I struggled with myself when Logan was around because his hands were all over her. I wanted to kill him, rip him apart and keep Max for myself. Max was mine.
But Max had the restless genes as well. Max did the good thing and married Logan three years later, seven years after the raid on Manticore. Six years before she and I were together. We were together the same amount of time as Syl and I were… but I wanted more time with her. I just wanted to take her away somewhere together. God, I loved her.
So, I sat back. Stayed with my siblings. And I noticed stuff. Stuff Maxie obscured before.
The way Zack always rests his hand on Syl's shoulder, and Syl doesn't look anyone in the eye now. She just smokes and shakes and sits in silence. Alone.
And Jondy. Jondy was jumpy, more nervous than I remember her. Well, you would be nervous if you were trying to conduct a functional relationship with Zack because you've got no one else to turn to, and Zane's virtually forcing you to sleep with him with him. And when you flat out refuse to sleep with your boyfriend or your brother, they turn to Syl, your dead eyed sister - because nothing boosted a guy's ego more than having sex with Syl. And Syl doesn't care enough to say no to anyone - to Zack, to Zane, to Alec, to the guy in the corner of the bar.
So I sit here on the Space Needle, where Maxie used to sit. Max is with Logan living in Washington now. Jondy's in Zane's bed because Zane only likes his sisters and is well on his way to becoming Ben. Zack's with Syl, fucking her brains out, because Zane's doing Zack's so-called girlfriend and Syl is an easy lay.
And I'm here wishing I could stop them. Get Syl to realise the power of the word 'no', and Jondy to know that she doesn't have to be in a relationship with Zack and she doesn't have to go down on Zane. I wish I could pull Zack out of the whiskey-fuelled life he's living, and get Zane to take a nice long look at what he's done to his two sisters
I wish I could have Maxie again. Not just sex in a closet or watching her with Logan. Just time together to say …
I'm not sure what I'd say to her. If there is anything left to say.
---
Was that scary and icky or just twisted?
---
Dark eyes. Dark hair. Smooth skin.
You know, I always thought that Ordinaries had confusing relationships. Brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, half-step siblings… so many rules and regulations about the way you love someone. It bewildered me when I was younger. I mean, I was sleeping with Syl, but that didn't change anything between us; I love her just like I love Zack, Jondy, Brin, Zane, Tinga, Ben and Max. Maxie.
I wonder if Deck knows how much he fucked us up. How everything in our god-damned lives are fucked because of his so-called dream, Manticore. I wouldn't be surprised if Manticore was responsible for the Pulse, you know. Think about it; twelve X5s escape and Manticore panics. What better way to wipe out all records of us that may have leaked out? Manticore screwed us up, why couldn't it screw the world too?
I'm always restless. Can't stand things staying too much the same. Jondy's another one who was restless; Zane and Zack took care of that for her. Syl's not restless. I was with Syl for ten years, sleeping with her for six of them. Too damn long for me. Then we went with Max and Zack for the raid on Manticore. And I went back to Syl, instead of walking away like I promised myself; she lost Zack and I lost Max. But then, how long does it take for an X5 relationship to end? With the fighting, fucking, the tempers and the tears? Poignant, I know. Well, it took me three months to leave Syl. I left her in a drug induced haze in a sleazy night club in New Orleans. I just got up and left her in that club alone. And stole her bike, and went to Seattle. To look for people who had known Maxie. To see what sort of person she had been.
But she was there. And she was alive. All tall, dark hair, dark eyes, creamy skin… the complete antithesis to Syl… she was just… Max…
But she was unhappy. Alive and unhappy. She couldn't touch Logan, and couldn't bring herself to fall for Alec, the man who wore Ben's face. I left her alone - I was just a complication she didn't need - and I went in search of something. At the time, my mind convinced me I was looking for Syl; or more specifically, sex with Syl. I am a guy after all, and nothing boosted my ego more than having sex with Syl.
I didn't find Syl. I forgot about Syl the second I saw Max on television, as the leader of the "freaks". I turned Syl's bike around and went back to Seattle, to help her. The stupidest thing I ever did. Maybe if I'd found Syl first, and done the smart thing - married her - and saved everyone from everything that went wrong. But I went to Max because something inside me… her scent, her body, her… it was the same thing that originally drew me to Syl. Something unnameable.
Seeing her up close without anything - like a mission - to distract us was incredible. I felt like everything in my life had been justified, just being able to hold her and ask her about the eleven years I missed out on. It was the singularly most satisfying night of my life.
I stayed in Terminal City with Max. I'd never wanted to spend so much time with one person before. We talked and we just bonded.
Logan was out of the picture - well, he'd gone back to his family's cabin. He couldn't stay in Terminal City because of the toxins. So, he went to stay at his cabin until it all blew over. Moron. Though, I shouldn't complain…
We were looking through some of the old warehouses for some reason I don't recall. And it was hot. Or maybe that was just us.
Me and Max. She was laughing at something and I just pulled her against me and kissed her.
Like no brother should kiss his sister. And Max liked it. I know she liked it, because I liked it. I liked the way her body felt against mine, I like the moaning noise she made as I kissed along her neck, undoing her jeans.
It felt good. Hot, sweaty sex in an abandoned warehouse. X5 women are amazing. Incredible. But Max… Max was in a league all of her own. And as we lay on the concrete floor of the warehouse, trying to catch our breath, I knew - and she knew - this wasn't a one time thing. This was something different. This was something that had trapped us, a cycle we'd never be able to break.
We decided not to tell anyone. After all, Max was officially with Logan. And I thought of her as my baby sister. I don't know. I look back and I know we were both idiots. I'd like to make excuses and say "because we were lonely." But I wasn't lonely. I didn't need Max. I just wanted her. She was fucking intoxicating and I hate her for what she's done to me, but I love her at the same time. A love that can't be defined by a title or a neat category. Max wanted Logan, and I wanted her to be happy. We just agreed not to say anything to anyone about what we'd done and move on.
But we didn't. I was doing her in my room, in broom closets, wherever prying eyes couldn't see. It was good.
Alec knew. Alec knew from the beginning. He smirked at me a lot but never made any comment to Max or Logan, which surprised me. He did say it was a sibling thing which made me wonder for awhile. But we never talked about it again.
And time moved on, like it always does.
Then the transgenics were free - well, we were allowed out of Terminal City for so many hours at a time, but we weren't being murdered in the street.
And I saw Syl again for the first time in four years.
She looked thinner and tireder. She looked older. Maybe years of taking all those drugs had caught up with. Maybe it was the cigarette she chain-smoked in the presence of… well, anyone male. Her hands were always shaking, like a seizure she couldn't quite get over.
I saw her and Max stand next to each other and I realised how fiercely I loved Max. Syl looked faded and old in comparison to Max's … purity. Max was gorgeous. I couldn't keep my hands off her when we were alone and I struggled with myself when Logan was around because his hands were all over her. I wanted to kill him, rip him apart and keep Max for myself. Max was mine.
But Max had the restless genes as well. Max did the good thing and married Logan three years later, seven years after the raid on Manticore. Six years before she and I were together. We were together the same amount of time as Syl and I were… but I wanted more time with her. I just wanted to take her away somewhere together. God, I loved her.
So, I sat back. Stayed with my siblings. And I noticed stuff. Stuff Maxie obscured before.
The way Zack always rests his hand on Syl's shoulder, and Syl doesn't look anyone in the eye now. She just smokes and shakes and sits in silence. Alone.
And Jondy. Jondy was jumpy, more nervous than I remember her. Well, you would be nervous if you were trying to conduct a functional relationship with Zack because you've got no one else to turn to, and Zane's virtually forcing you to sleep with him with him. And when you flat out refuse to sleep with your boyfriend or your brother, they turn to Syl, your dead eyed sister - because nothing boosted a guy's ego more than having sex with Syl. And Syl doesn't care enough to say no to anyone - to Zack, to Zane, to Alec, to the guy in the corner of the bar.
So I sit here on the Space Needle, where Maxie used to sit. Max is with Logan living in Washington now. Jondy's in Zane's bed because Zane only likes his sisters and is well on his way to becoming Ben. Zack's with Syl, fucking her brains out, because Zane's doing Zack's so-called girlfriend and Syl is an easy lay.
And I'm here wishing I could stop them. Get Syl to realise the power of the word 'no', and Jondy to know that she doesn't have to be in a relationship with Zack and she doesn't have to go down on Zane. I wish I could pull Zack out of the whiskey-fuelled life he's living, and get Zane to take a nice long look at what he's done to his two sisters
I wish I could have Maxie again. Not just sex in a closet or watching her with Logan. Just time together to say …
I'm not sure what I'd say to her. If there is anything left to say.
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Was that scary and icky or just twisted?