Disclaimer: All unfamiliar belongs to me. Just a note "schadenfreude" is a German word meaning "taking pleasure in the misery of others". It's a truly wonderful word; pity they don't have a word like that in English. "Sadistic" is the only one close enough.

happiness and angst

 Five. Draco is such an idiot.

            Blaise had noticed his roving eyes since the beginning of his infatuation. It all began one week after the beginning of school, though she never knew why; Draco never told her anything if he could help it. Six. She had nudged him gently for about two months, trying to weasel out the reason why his eyes always seemed to wander, why he had stopped hanging around Crabbe and Goyle and instead chose to do homework in the library with her. And sometimes Blaise would join him.

            Seven.

            She was always in the library whenever Blaise went , and so was Draco. And he just kept staring and staring. And Blaise could see why. She was pretty enough, with vibrant hair bright enough to catch any boy's attention. And then there was the body; she was shaped like one of those moving manikins in the front window of Madame Malkin's. Eight. But there was also the taciturn beauty, the gentle smile, the appreciative yet forgiving green eyes. Sometimes when Blaise looked at Ginny Weasley, she wondered if she really was a lesbian and it wasn't just a lie.

            Nine.

            This was the first time she had been in the library without her. And, Blaise noted, she wasn't the only one who noticed. Draco kept glancing at her empty chair, obviously disturbed by her lack of presence. Ten. The dratted boy was so distracted, he had only completed three sentences on his parchment. Eleven. He really needs help.

            Twelve.

"Preoccupied?"

"You could say that."

"You know, she won't appear no matter how hard you keep looking at the chair."

"Like I want her to." Blaise raised an eyebrow. "It's just a distraction from all this mental activity."

"If you say so…"

She saw him stretch and return to his work, her continuous quill scratches interrupted occasionally by his shuffling papers. She could feel the effort it took for him not to look. Half of her enjoyed his suffering, the other half wanted to Avada him and put him out of his misery.  Ah, good old schadenfreude.

"I'll be back," he said irritably. Blaise watched as Draco stood up and walked tensely out of the library, catching his glance back at the empty chair. Thirteen.

Draco was fortifying himself with longing that only led to misery, surrounding himself with a mess as awful as gobstone sludge, that much she could see. And Blaise was certain as to the cause of Pansy's rejection and Draco's self-condemnation. It all had begun with a certain red-haired Gryfinndor although she had no idea why or how it had all begun, which would make her fiddling all that much more difficult. But as much as she liked to watch his suffer, it was really getting to her.

There were hundreds of possible causes. Maybe Draco had liked her from afar, gone in for the kill and been rejected. It wouldn't have been his first rejection, but it would have been painful nonetheless. Draco hadn't really liked Blaise, he had just seen her as like him and someone he could ally himself with during times of Pansy's simpering. Her rejection of him was probably more embarrassing then anything else. It wasn't like he knew the truth. Blaise couldn't really blame Draco for not telling her everything, she kept secrets from him too.

But that still didn't make his little infatuation any better. And she could tell it was eating him up inside, whether he knew it or not. He had started staring during meals, and it was only a matter of time before the other Slytherins noticed. He stared at Ginny the way a thirsty man stared at a goblet of pumpkin juice that was behind an invisible barrier, like he was trying to drink her in with his eyes.

But what to do…Blaise didn't know which cards to play, nor what the game was. All she knew was what was in her hand: trust, prodding, the ability to plot, Draco's mounting desire, and her supposed lesbianism. She had tried prodding which had led to nothing. Draco's desire was not something she wanted to deal with directly, so maybe she would play plotting with it. Trust she would save for later…or perhaps trust in his ability to keep a secret…that was it! She would play all her cards. She would ask Draco to find out if Ginny was a lesbian, pretending to have an interest in her. That was bound to lead to intimacy. Draco would have to get close enough to Ginny to get a response and well…Blaise just hoped she could extricate himself before his chivalry prevented him from going for what he wanted.

~~~~~

The Great Hall was extraordinarily annoying, filled with loud voices of raucous schoolchildren. Most of the times, Blaise preferred not to eat there, taking a plate of food out onto the grounds or to the Astronomy Tower when it wasn't already occupied. Draco, being a Malfoy, always had a seat or two saved for him, usually by Pansy as it was today. Blaise moved close enough to Draco to show her intention of sitting beside him and then settled herself between Draco and Pansy. Turning away from Pansy's miffed expression, Blaise drew Draco into a conversation almost immediately, manipulating the conversational groups that sprung up around them. Only when everyone else was occupied she allowed him to drift away reeling him in again when she caught him staring at the Gryfindor table. Discretely, Blaise poked him in the ribs.

"What?" he asked, turning his head unwillingly to look at her.

            "You're not eating." Blaise looked intentionally where he had been gazing before, a playful grin on her face. "Unless there is something more interesting than food…"

            "Nothing's more interesting than food," he snapped, shoveling mashed potatoes from his plate to his mouth and tearing his gaze from the Gryfindor table.

            "I'd say Professor McGonagall prancing about in her knickers on the teachers table-"

            "Maybe for you. Besides, she's not."

            "Please," Blaise said, delicately cutting a piece of chicken and eating it daintily, "She's not my type."

            "She's not!" He feigned surprise. "I thought you were all for the surly types. You hang out with me, after all."

            "You're not surly. You're just my little boy toy." She patted his arm as only Blaise could. All other attempts at patting would have been met with hexes.

            "I am not," he replied, moving from the rapidly eaten potatoes to the roast chicken, "little."

            "How would I know that? I have no desire to get into your pants."

            "Nor do I."

            "I have perfectly good reasons to believe you want to get into your own pants, for instance the sweat marks on your sheets every morning. And there was a time you wanted to get into mine."

            "Ah well. I was under the Imperio curse, or something like that. Your father wanted to bring you back to the bright side." She smiled.

            "Honey, there's no coming back from the Dark Side."

            "We'll see about that." As she forked some string beans, Blaise searched desperately for a conversational bridge to her plot but before she had found it, she was drawn back into conversation with Pansy. Behind her smiling façade, Blaise cursed the girl. All Pansy had wanted to talk about was shoes.

~~~~~

            Blaise awoke the next morning her mind firmly set on her goal. Nothing was going to get in her way today. She tried to get ready as fast as she could (only to be hindered by Pansy asking advice about shoes, which Blaise thought Pansy had far too many of. Fed up by Pansy's pickiness, Blaise had eventually simply pointed at a random pair, given them to Pansy, and left) only to find Draco already in the Common Room, brooding into the fire. Draco brooded so often, Blaise wondered if that was his natural expression.

            "How's about pile of toast heavily buttered, with greasy, oil-spouting sausages and some nearly burnt bacon for good measure?" she asked, speaking to him from behind the couch. Draco jumped visibly.

            "Sounds like an early grave."

            "Which wouldn't be too bad," Blaise remarked, skipping into the hallway with Draco at her heels, "just think, you could have a nice cozy coffin in the Malfoy crypt and you'd never have to write another blasted essay for transfiguration."

            "Hm…sounds like a plan." The Great Hall was almost empty, with a few early risers. Not all of the platters had been filled yet, and so Draco drew her over to the fire where they could warm themselves from the air that had gone frigid in the night. No matter how hard she tried, Blaise couldn't seem to subtly slip the topic of girls or the Weasley girl into their conversation. It was almost as if Draco was deliberately avoiding anything to do with her. Blaise watched the doorway for the other Slytherins as the Great Hall became fuller by the minute, and she grew more anxious with every green badge she saw. The more people that were around, the more people could overhear her, and that was the last thing she wanted. Eventually, the Great Hall had filled up and Blaise was almost ready to strangle Draco for not picking up any of the hints she was dropping, and almost hexed Millicent when she came and started talking to them. Blaise took Millicent away towards the other Slytherins and was hurrying back to Draco (who had just started eating) when she saw Pansy approaching him from the other side. Merlin, no.

            "So you've started on that heart attack?" Blaise asked, sliding next to Draco quickly in order to monopolize his conversation time. "What would you recommend?"

            "The house-elves have truly outdone themselves. I'm convinced these sausages are just oil in disguise."

            "Oh good, just the way I like them." She helped herself to the sausages, not eating until Pansy had passed behind Draco and was a good distance away, sitting next to, oddly enough next to Crabbe. Blaise thought Pansy detested Crabbe. But she didn't have time to ponder this, Draco wasn't eating his food, due to the fact he was transfixed by a certain sixth year and she was most definitely not letting this opportunity pass.

"You're ignoring your food again." Draco didn't register her comment and she purposely followed the path of his eyes.

"She's pretty isn't she?"

"I suppose."

"Maybe she's not all that pretty-" Blaise rested her chin on her fist, her elbow on the table. "-just captivating."

"You could say that." Draco was eating again, albeit reluctantly.

"You like her, don't you."

"No, she's a muggle-loving-"

"Spare me." He did.

"Look, if you don't like her so much, you can help me. I like her."

"You do?"

"Don't look so surprised. I think we'd make a lovely couple."

"Yeah, you'd be the couple of my fantasies if you'd let me watch you in the bedroom," he said blandly.

"Don't take that tone with me," she teased. " I want you to find out if she's like me."

"If you mean cruel and crass then no, she's not."

"I mean if she's a lesbian, you thick-skulled ferret."

"Well if I didn't have a thick skull I wouldn't have survived the bouncing."

"Seriously, Draco." He put his fork down.

"I think you picked the wrong guy for this, Blaise. I don't think she'd tell me if I had a smudge of dirt on my forehead."

"And neither would I. It's funny when you don't look perfectly put together."

"It is not!" As much fun as she was having, they were getting too far off topic and Blaise needed him to agree.

"Just try to ask her out."

"She'd say no as an automated response."

"Draco, you could charm a porcupine into giving up its quills with your smile."

"Which is what I'd be doing."

"Just try it. I don't want to let just anyone know about me, you know that. I had to tell you because you wouldn't lay off. Just do the same with her and the secret will be yours."

"It's not that easy, Blaise."

"Please, Draco, just try?"

"Fine," he sighed, looking at the center of his undivided attention, "I'll try."

It was cruel and she loved every minute of it.

~~~~~

            For the most part, Blaise left Draco to his task, prodding him foreward by staring frequently at the Weasley girl. As she watched she would find brief stints of animation that were often suppressed when anyone else noticed her. Once or twice, Ginny had caught her looking and Blaise had simply smiled back, knowingly and kindly, until Ginny had broken their staring contest and looked away. Blaise could definitely see why Draco was enraptured, Ginny was like a puzzle that seemed simple until you tried figuring it out. Then it double-fucked your brain.

            Every day seemed to pass in agonizing sluggishness as she waited for Draco to announce that he and Ginny were getting engaged and ask her for help naming their babies. Well, maybe not something as extreme as that, but Draco wasn't one to give progress reports. Except she could tell he was making progress. Sometimes Ginny would look up and smile at Draco, so Blaise looked at Ginny less and less frequently; Draco might get jealous. Of course, Draco would never admit it.

Two weeks had passed before she received any news. And then what she received wasn't really news at all. Draco had asked Ginny to meet him at Hogsmeade, and please, please, please could she distract Pansy. Well, Draco didn't actually beg but it was as close as that somehow-endearing aristocratic prat would come. Besides, distracting Pansy was as easy as distracting a baby with a lollipop. All Blaise needed to do was suggest a trip to Gladrags and Pansy would be more than thoroughly distracted from anything but the clothing. The true request came with Blaise putting up with Pansy all day, which Blaise decided would be worth it if Draco could finally pay attention to his hormones and what they were screaming to him at the top of their lungs. She was getting a little sick of seeing him pine.

Hogsmeade Saturday came quickly enough. Blaise rose early to see Draco off before waiting on the steps so that she could glue herself to Pansy's side for the entire day. She wasn't sure what was worse, planning to spend the entire day with Pansy or planning to spend the entire day in Gladrags. And both at one time…Draco had better get some action or she would castrate him with piano wire.

"Pansy!" Pansy had just walked down the stairs in a becoming pink cloak. Well, it would have been becoming, if it hadn't been made of dyed rabbit pelts.

"Yes, Blaise?"

"We, just have to visit Gladrags today."

"Oh, yes! I hope they have a new shipment in, you know how I hate wearing clothes that other people have tried on."

"Oh, I know," Millicent added. Blaise looped her arm through Pansy's as they walked past Filch who was checking their names off of the list. Snow crunched merrily beneath her feet as Blaise walked, admiring the giant icicles that had tacked onto the gates. The sky lit a brilliant blue before them as the giant swarm of students walked down the road to Hogsmeade. Wistfully, Blaise thought it was the perfect day for a snowball fight in the park, but she walked on, her arm still in Pansy's while the boys trailed behind them.

When they entered the picturesque little village, they stopped first at Honeydukes because it was on the way and Crabbe and Goyle always spent a good deal of time there, measuring proper amounts of candy as if they were potions ingredients. Blaise wondered at how they managed to be so precise when measuring candy yet so abysmal at measuring potions ingredients. She didn't see Draco leave, which was probably good and her stomach tensed slightly when she did notice he was gone. Thankfully, she accepted a Peppermint Toad from Goyle which promptly reduced the tension (How can you be tense when there's a toad hopping in your stomach?) as they all headed down the street to Gladrags.

The store smelled plasticky, an almost disgustingly sanitary smell, but Pansy dove right ahead. For the next few hours, it was hard to find her amid the rows upon rows of hangers, unless you counted the occasional flinging of an article of clothing into either Crabbe or Goyle's outstretched hands which were already laden with clothing and hangers. Millicent wasn't as enthusiastic and Blaise shopped with her, comparing materials and styles. By the end of three hours and countless "does this make me look fat?", Pansy had selected 6 shirts, 2 skirts, 1 pair of pants, 3 pairs of shoes, and one necklace to buy. Millicent and Blaise were more conservative in their purchases, Millicent buying a new blue cloak cut in the latest fashion and Blaise a nice maroon shirt. When they emerged once more into the daylight (Blaise had to blink several times before her eyes adjusted) they found Draco waiting outside.

"I thought I'd find you here," he said cheekily. Pansy had already gotten as close to him as was socially acceptable, but he wasn't flinching away as usual. Blaise could see a change. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes sparkled. His usual scowl had disappeared and while he wasn't smiling, Blaise knew he was very happy. She smiled and winked and he grinned widely, something she hadn't seen him do often. The only time she could remember him smiling was when he had gotten the highest score in Potions the past year.

Crabbe and Goyle emerged behind them, rubbing their eyes stupidly in the bright light before Pansy shoved her bag into Crabbe's hands and led the way to the Three Broomsticks. The sun celebrated with Blaise, glinting off of Draco's slightly messed hair almost angelically.

~~~~~

Thanks so much for all your reviews. I do read and take pleasure in them all. I'm sorry this took so long to update, but I've been as busy as…someone busy.