Episode 5
Speed and Spyke
The weather was stormy aboard the pirate ship, Ghetto. No, there wasn't a storm, it was just the frequent quarreling between Lad Evan Daniels and Lad Pietro Maximoff. The two had never been very buddy-buddy, but it was even worse today now that they were assigned swabbing duty together. Storm, the Wench, had also decided to visit Evan since he was her nephew and was obsessively observing him swab.
Lad Pietro swabbed angrily while watching Lad Evan. Pietro was a much faster swabber, but Evan was much more efficient. Captain Coach wandered by just as Evan ran out of water.
"Pietro, give Evan some of your water!" ordered the captain.
Pietro mumbled something under his breath and gave some of his swabbing water to Evan who just kept swabbing until everything was completely spotless.
"Swab, Evan! SWAB!!" cheered Storm way too excitedly.
Pietro got VERY angry. The rest of the crew hoisted Evan above their head to congratulate him on his mad swabbing skills. Storm couldn't help but observe Pietro's look of hatred as he turned his back to the group and continued swabbing his OWN half ALL ALONE!!
Later on that day, when the swabbing was done, everyone went down to their quarters.
"Good swabbin', matey!" said one crewmate as he patted Evan on the shoulder.
"Aye, matey, ye be a sutler!" another crewmate agreed as they both left to go do their duties.
"Thanks me hearties!" Evan called after them. Pietro knew that it was his opportunity to go and yell at Evan for no reason whatsoever so he approached him.
"I shoulda known you'd hog all the glory!" said Pietro.
"What are you talkin' matey?" asked Evan. "Everyone knows…"
"Everyone knows that if it wasn't for me then you would have run outta swabbing bilge!" Pietro interrupted. "I knew I should have just titivated it by myself…"
"Avast, that was good swabbing, matey." Said Evan. "But there's no way you could have finished by yourself."
"Hey, bucko, I got moves you can't even imagine." Said Pietro. "And I'm through holding back just to make squiffies like you look good." He pushed past Lad Evan and stomped off, searching for someone else to pick on just because he knew he could.
"Seems like that lad has been competing with you ever since you were wee lads." Said Wench Storm as she rounded the corner.
"Ahoy, Auntie O!" said Lad Evan.
"I saw what you did to Pietro's swabbing half." Said Storm. "You scratched it with that spike that shot out of your arm while your hearties were hoisting you over their heads."
"It wasn't on my accord!" said Evan.
"That's what worries me." Wench Storm said. Evan took a few deep breaths and then sneezed, shooting hundreds of spikes out of his body and embedding them in the wall. Luckily, they missed Wench Storm by just a smiggen bit.
"Black spotted, arrr?" said Evan nervously.
"Big time." Said Wench Storm.
Then they went to the crew party where everyone was having a grand old time stuffing their faces and laughing like jolly rogers.
"I still can't get over the way you swabbed!" said a matey to Evan. "The ship's a beauty!"
"Aye, wasn't it exciting?" said a wench who favored Lad Evan.
Evan turned back to Wench Storm. "What amazes me is that you've kept it concealed this long." Said Wench Storm.
"So what?" said Evan. "This IS a pirate ship."
"Evan, you need to take this seriously." Said Storm. "The X-Men welcomes mutant pirates like you and myself."
"I'm not a mutant pirate, matey!" said Evan defiantly.
"Don't you think the rest of your crew should know?" said Wench Storm.
"Can't this wait till after chores tomorrow?" asked Evan. "We're having a party. Don't want to ruin it."
"All right…" said Storm as Evan ran off to join the party.
"Storm, how's it going with your effort?" came the telepathic voice of Captain Xavier.
"Just as I feared, Captain. He's being stubborn." Storm replied.
"Scott and Jean will arrive in the morning." Captain Xavier said. "By the way, Cerebro detected another mutant pirate on Ghetto. Did you notice any lads or lasses that may be mutant pirates?"
"Maybe…but I'm not certain yet…"
"Very well. Keep me informed."
The next morning, Lad Evan was searching for his booty among his other stuff but they were nowhere to be found. "Avast, not again!" Evan yelled, kicking something over.
"Something wrong?" Lad Pietro asked as he zoomed out in front of Evan.
"Where'd you come from?"
"That's a question you should be asking during chores."
"Look, I know you're fast matey." Said Evan. "You were really a sutler yesterday."
"Blimey, so you finally accord that I'm better than you!" said Pietro.
"I said you were faster, not better." Said Evan smugly. "I still have a few tricks of my own."
"Aye, like being ripped off for the second time this month." Pietro said, looking down at Evan's pile of booty. "Sounds like a prow of a mystery, matey."
"Aye but I'm gonna keelhaul this scallywag!" said Evan.
"But you're gonna need some bait." Said Pietro, pulling a few doubloons from his pocket.
"Shiver me timbers, thanks, matey!" said Evan happily. "I'll pay you back. Catch you later." Evan hobbled off, feeling happy.
"Not even on your best day, matey, you'll never catch me." Said Pietro so that Evan couldn't hear him, grinning a sinister grin.
"Matey, you don't give up do you, Auntie O?" said Evan when he reached the dock to see Lass Jean and First Mate Scott there.
"That's because she loves you. She's just concerned." Said Lass Jean.
"It's really not so bad." Chimed Scott. "Being a mutant pirate can be a bottle of rum sometimes."
"Avast, whatever." Said Evan. "Gangway, matey. I like it right here on Ghetto and I'm not going to some ship for freaks! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some more chores to take care of."
"Evan…" said Wench Storm.
"Well…that went well." Sighed Lass Jean.
"Aye, I thought we were really making a connection." First Mate Scott said sarcastically.
Lad Evan ran back down to the swabbies quarters and hid behind a large barrel that was most likely filled with a clap of thunder. "All right, scallyway," said Evan, pushing a few spikes out of his body. "You wanna play tonight? I'm ready for you."
He sat there and waited not but for a few seconds before he felt a gust of wind. Well, this was, of course, a very strange thing to feel a gust of wind in a completely closed in area so he knew something was fishy. He looked around the room as everything was lifted up from the ground and flung around, being tossed in every direction.
"Shiver me timbers!!" Evan gasped, unable to even attempt to comprehend the phenomenon. "What's going on here? Whatever it is, belay there NOW!"
He shot a few spikes out of his hand and the wind stops, standing there was Lad Pietro.
"Pietro?!" Evan gasped once again.
"Call me Corsair." Said Pietro proudly. "Avast, would you look at this. Seems my ol' matey has a few tricks of his own. But as usual, not as good as mine!" Pietro ran around at the speed of light, swirling the spikes up into the air and dropping them onto the ground.
"You?" said Evan, completely in awe. "You're a mutant pirate too?"
Pietro slapped his forehead. "Duh!" he said. "Finally. Remember, matey, anything you can swab, I can swab cleaner. Mind if I take that back?" Pietro grabbed the doubloons he had given to Evan earlier.
"But why would you want to hornswaggle me?" Evan said, sounding betrayed.
"Yanks, cranks and shanks, matey!" said the corsair. "Belay, when you live at fast as I do, there ain't enough things to occupy my time! I gotta entertain myself! Arr, and you thought you could stop me. Avast,"–then Pietro bitch slapped Evan—"Wrong again!"
"Don't bet your doubloons on it!" said Evan as he went to hurl a spike at Pietro but Pietro only ran around him and pushed him over.
"Too slow!" he said with a yawn. "You know, I think you need some more time to work on those mutant pirate powers of yours. Maybe I can arrange it."
"What do you mean?" said Evan angrily.
"Can you say…'scallywag'?" said Pietro as he ran off at light speed just as a bunch of the crewmen ran in to see their quarters in shambles. It didn't take long for the crew to turn on Evan and carry him off to the brig.
He sat there wallowing in self pity when Storm the Wench, Jean the Lass and Scott the First Mate came to bust him out.
"We'll make this easy." Said Scott. "The Captain will use his influence to get you onto The X-Men. But you have to give The X-Men a shot. Do we have an accord?"
"Do I have a choice?" said Evan angrily.
"Avast, you always have a choice." Scott corrected. "We just want to help you make the right one."
"Aye…we have an accord." Said Evan, shaking Scott's hand.
The next day, the crew of The X-Men were sitting around eating.
"So where's this new guy?" asked Lass Kitty.
"Still sleeping." Said Captain Xavier. "He had a rather difficult evening."
"I think he knows who really scuttled those quarters." Said Scott to the Captain.
"He'll tell us when he's ready." Captain Xavier replied.
"If you ask me, he's looking to send that kid to Davy Jones' Locker personally." Captain Logan stated.
"In any case, it might be best if the lad had other things to distract his mind." Captain Xavier said. "Perhaps some swabbing is in order, don't you agree, First Mate?"
"Aye!" said Scott. "After that swabbing he did on Ghetto, I'm sure this ship will be titivated in no time!"
"Good." Said Captain Xavier. "Then let's hope his desire for vengeance is short lived."
Meanwhile, on The Brotherhood, the crew, Lass Rogue, Scurvy Fred, Swab Lance and Scallywag Toad, were just waiting around until Captain Mystique was ready for them for in her Captain's Quarters, she was discussing a matter with a man of even higher rank than hers.
"I'm honored that you've come." Captain Mystique told the mystery man.
"I've not come for your crew pep talk, Mystique." He replied. "Open your deadlights and behold."
He slammed a picture of Corsair Pietro down on the table. Captain Mystique picked it up. "Arr, so this is the speed demon I've been hearing about." She said, sounding pleased.
"Corsair Pietro…he is of…particular interest to me…"
The crew of The X-Men decided to show Lad Evan a thing or two about swabbing a deck.
"You ready, Evan?" said First Mate Scott.
"You got me here to swab, so let's swab." Said Evan in a determined tone as he held up his mop and bucket.
"You heard the lad." Said Captain Logan. "So let's go."
Lad Evan swabbed furiously and endlessly in a very efficient yet quick manner. It actually got to the point in which he ran out of water so he had to refill his bucket. However, while he was running over to refill it, he slipped on some of the water and fell right on his rump.
"Not too shabby, lad." Said Captain Logan, offering Lad Evan a hand.
"Evan," came Lass Kitty's voice as she walked over. "We're docking in Bayville soon and you have to swab tonight."
"But I just swabbed the whole deck." Said Evan.
"Yeah, it's going to be the annual swabbing competition." Kitty explained. "All kinds of ships will be there and they'll have their best swabbers out."
Just then, Hand Kurt teleported in. "Sink me!" he exclaimed. "You might even end up going against Ghetto!"
"Aye…" said Evan as he got a look of determination in his eyes.
Lass Jean and First Mate Scott looked at each other hesitantly and frowned.
It wasn't much longer until The X-Men docked in Bayville alongside many other ships. Evan waited for Ghetto to arrive but it was the last ship. He scowled angrily as Corsair Pietro stepped off, mop in hand.
"Ahoy, Corsair!" Evan yelled to get Pietro's attention.
"Blimey!" said Pietro smugly. "Out of the brig already?"
"I'm sending you to Davy Jones's locker!!" Evan declared angrily as he attempted to grab Pietro but Pietro easily dodged.
"As usual, too slow." Said Pietro as he knocked Evan to the ground.
"Is this the lad who scuttled the quarters?" Lass Jean asked as she and the first mate approached the two.
"Actually, aye, I scuttled the quarters!" Pietro said confidently. "And what are you going to do about it?"
"That's it, Pietro!" yelled Evan. "You're black spotted!"
"Ooh, sounds like a challenge!" said Pietro. "Gangway, Daniels. Let's see what you've got." Pietro dropped his mop and zoomed off at the speed of light.
"Trust me, matey!" said Evan as he started running after him. "You're gonna find out!"
"Give it up, matey!" said Pietro. "You're outta your league!"
Evan couldn't even come close to keeping up with Pietro and only pathetically shot a few spikes at him.
"Hang the jib, say goodbye to Bayville!" Pietro declared as he ran so fast down the streets of Bayville that things got destroyed in his path.
"We have to stop him!" said Lass Jean as she got up with Lad Evan.
"I've tried, he's just too fast!" said Evan angrily.
"Jean, he can't run if his feet are off the ground!" said First Mate Scott, slamming one fist into his palm.
"Aye!" said Jean as she used her telepathy to left him off the ground. Then, Lad Evan shot a few spikes at him, pinning him to the wall.
"I can't get loose!" the corsair yelled as he struggled in vain. "I can't get loose!"
"Not so fast, are you, Corsair?" said Evan, crossing his arms.
"Aye, what good's it do you, matey?" asked Pietro. "You still can't prove it was me who had anything to do with getting you the rope's end."
"Ooh, sounds like a challenge." Evan mocked as a parrot flew onto his shoulder. "I've got it all right here."
"Actually, aye, I scuttled the quarters!" said the parrot in a voice that sounded just like Pietro's. "And what are you going to do about it?" Pietro glared angrily at Lad Evan.
Just then, the sound of footprints was in the air. The X-Men crew quickly hurried off leaving Pietro there to face the officials and they ended up throwing him in the brig,
"Belay!" Pietro yelled, trying to get free. "You gotta let me outta here! I want outta here!"
Suddenly, the ground rumbled and in walked the creepy captain who had business with Captain Mystique.
"Still impatient," sighed the man. "But you have learned much, Pietro. And I am in need of your services."
"Ooh, sounds like a challenge." Said Pietro, seemingly intrigued. "Aye, whatever you want!"
"Very well." Said the creepy man as he held out a hand and bent the bars of the cell back.
Aboard The X-Men, things were going peachy swell. "Congratulations, lad." Praised Captain Xavier to Lad Evan. "I understand that you've been cleared of all charges."
"Aye, thanks for your help, Captain." Said Evan.
"We're just glad to have you with us." Captain Xavier said.
"Aye." agreed Evan.