Title: Simple existence
Authoress: Asuki
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: yaoi, sap, language, slight angst & sexual references
Summary: The beat of the music pumping through your veins, the
adrenaline rush pulsing through your body, the looks of lust and desire in their
eyes. Sensual and sexual, a gateway to paradise, it was an addiction, it was his
life... [ReiKai, AU]
Disclaimer: I do not own beyblade or its characters. I simply borrow
them from time to time for a bit of fun and return them relatively unharmed.
Unrecognizable characters belong solely to me.
Status: revised
Enjoy, if possible.
==========
Chapter 1:
Coming to terms
Squalor and poverty laid behind every city's glittering façade, Tokyo was
no different.
Christmas Eve was always a joyous day, there were presents to be expected and
delicious meals to be served. Warmth and love radiated from households, contrast
to the biting cold streets outside where a lone figure strolled...
Rei shifted his bare hands in his pockets, trying to seek more warmth from the
thin piece of clothing. Digging deeper into the pockets, he balled his hands
into fists, anger and frustration apparent on his once calm features.
A moderately strong breeze enveloped the boy, tugging at his long ponytail and
brushing past his bangs. Soon his hair was swaying rhythmically with the wind,
like an invitation of dance to its owner. Dark bangs bounced slightly, revealing
behind them a pair of dimmed amber orbs which were once so full of grace and
beauty. Without warning, the breeze picked up, ruffling through the ponytail and
unravelling it. A waterfall of onyx strands cascaded down the boy's backside,
encircling the slim frame. Yet the boy paid no notice, amber irises trained on
the distance, staring into no one and nothing in particular.
He was a beautiful creature. Lost, only wanting to be accepted...
A small rock skimmed across the concrete upon the impact of a kick. Shrugging
broad shoulders Rei inhaled deeply, the chilled air stung his air pipe, but that
was trivial compared to what was on his mind. Giving in to a profound sigh, soft
words escaped his delicate lips, audible only because of the still night.
"Why... why does it have to be like this... why me..."
Rei clenched his fists tighter, denying what he wanted to do since the moment he
stepped out of those doors. Mixed feelings ran through his veins, confusion,
desperation emerged from deep within, taking control. He wanted nothing more
than to cry, to let out all his problems and worries, to be held, embraced and
to be loved.
But right now everything seemed so distance, so far away...
A black jaguar sped past, its occupants happily chatting away in the comfortable
confines. No one saw the boy, no body cared. Loosening his grip, Rei withdrew
his hands from his pocket and instead, wrapped them around his own torso.
Lengthy raven hair flew about as the boy moved his arms up and down, trying hard
to gain some friction. The jacket did not provide enough warmth nor did the
black jeans which hung loosely down his legs.
Rei's mind drifted to what happened only moments ago, recalling the painful
memories. His intake of breath quickened and with a small hiccup a single
teardrop rolled down pale cheeks, glistening under the fairy lights and
Christmas decorations.
Slowly, sounds and images unfolded as the boy's crying intensified.
==========
"Rei, as you are aware of your upcoming nineteenth
birthday, you are expected to fulfill and uphold the family traditions." A
strong and stern voice echoed.
"I have seen this girl, and I must say that she is well reserved in many
ways. You two will go lovely together." A feminine voice added as the
owner's thoughts drifted away to the near future of her son's wedding.
"Father," addressed the said boy, "must I endorse these age old
traditions?" to describe the voice as disheartened would be an
understatement.
"They have been in the family for centuries, it is not up to you to decide
young man. You shall fulfill the traditions just like our ancestors did, just
like I did." The tone of voice was final and left no space for
retaliation.
The family traditions required men in the family to be engaged at birth.
Marriage takes place at the day of the heir's nineteenth birthday, to a girl
whom they have never met before, let alone loved. It was a tradition from long
ago, one that has been passed down in few families for the majority had regarded
the event as unimportant, even in an extent, reckless. But there were exceptions
to everything, and the Kon family was one of them.
"But father, we live in a modern world. This is no longer the old times,
and I believe there is no need for follow these... these
silly traditions." rarely did the boy argue with his parents, but
this was different.
This, concerned the future of his entire life, and he wasn't about to
throw it away just to please his parents.
"Nonsense. You will not ridicule our family traditions under this roof and
further more, you will not disobey them. There is not going to be any amendments
or alterations so I suggest you prepare yourself,
son." Amongst the voice beset with absolute authority was the
tiniest implications of resentment.
"Rei my dear, listen to your father and don't be stubborn. You must
understand that we are doing this for you. We are only trying to lead you a
better future." Rei's mother spoke, trying her best to reduce the obvious
tension between the father and son.
"I, am not the one being stubborn, YOU are." the young
boy retorted, unintentionally louder than needed.
"You will NOT speak like that to your mother Rei." a commanding
masculine voice cut in before the boy could continue anymore. However he had
under estimated the boy's determination and strong will.
"I CAN'T marry this girl!" the smallest of the three voiced out his
inner thoughts, molten gold irises raging with fire, filled with resolute
fortitude and pale cheeks glowed scarlet upon the indignant outburst.
"How
dare you speak of such nonsense. It is not up to you to decide any of this, you
must marry her. In addition, the invitations are all sent and the date is set,
the wedding will go underway whether you like it or not." Rei's father
boomed, face red with disbelief written across his features.
"So that's it isn't it, it's all about the reputation and recognition you
will receive. Who gives a damn about that stupid boy's life anyway." Rei
snorted, disdain dripping in his every syllable.
"No Rei, it's not like that at all... we care for you, and will do anything
to ensure that you are happy." his mother hastily added, not liking where
the conversation is heading at all.
"Well I'm NOT!"
Before any other sound could come out of his mouth, Rei found himself hitting
the ground on his side, luckily using his feline reflexes he was able to prevent
his body from sustaining any injuries. Though the rest of his body was unharmed,
the red mark across his face and the unbearable sting made apparent that the boy
had been slapped, hard.
Ouch.
Ignoring the un-subduing pain on his right cheek Rei gathered enough strength,
supporting himself to stand face to face with his father once more. There was
things that had to be said, for everybody's sake. Rei didn't want to inform his
parents of this but there is no choice now, he was down to his last resort. If
he let this chance slip by now there may never have another opportunity, and
hell he wasn't going to live a life full of deceptions and lies.
Taking a long deep breath, Rei managed to calm down the best he could in
order to articulate the necessary, something he should have done a long time
ago. And then gradually, as to not disturb his composure, decisive words rolled
off his tongue, stating the inevitable.
"Father, mother," he spoke calmly, nodding at them both before
continuing, " There is something I believe you are entitled to know. The
reason I cannot marry this girl is because, I will not be able to bring myself
to love her."
Rei's mother was about to open her mouth but a dismissive wave from the boy
indicated he was yet to finish.
"There's more... I cannot marry her because... because I'm gay."
The final word was spoken ever so softly, but both adults had heard it. A loud
gasp indicated his mother's utter astonishment as she clapped a trembling hand
over her mouth, no longer capable of words. Rei's father on the other hand was
also rendered speechless but instead, a pair of dust coloured eyes widened
somewhat... maliciously.
Homosexuality was definitely not welcomed in this family
household.
"I cannot alter the fact of who and what I am, nor will I
betray my own instincts for any reason. I'm sorry, but you left me with no
choice." the raven haired boy persisted, before the lump in his throat
became a problem.
Moments of eerie silence followed the revelation, which was soon replaced by the
soft sobbing coming from Rei's mother. The boy himself stood proudly, nor
ashamed or mortified. After a couple of noiseless minutes, it appears that the
head of family have finally got over the initial shock of the news, gathering
the strength for speech once more. To depict the man as fuming or irate at this
moment was unquestionably understated. And if you considered his aura at the
time was imposing, it was nothing compared to what came next, more precisely,
his subsequent words.
"If my son chooses to disobey the traditions and my word, then I, have no
son at all."
Another loud gasp emitted from his mother but Rei didn't have time to find out
the consequences, that was when he stepped out the family doors without a
backwards glance. He simply couldn't put up with it anymore, the whole tradition
thing. Rei was not as close to his father as most presumed, but he held respect
for the man, nothing more, nothing less. Love was out of the question, his
father never had time for him. He had expected the man to be outraged, but not
prepared for what he said, anything but those words, anything. It hurt, but the
realization painfully dawned eventually.
Homosexuality would never be approved in the Kon family. Even if it
means the absence of the only son, permanently.
==========
With another insightful intake of breath, Rei brought
himself back to his current situation. The tears were gone, replaced by vaguely
red eyes. Rei refused to cry, somewhat agitated at the fact he even let himself.
Back at the age of eight, when he was still the innocent and carefree boy, Rei
had received punishment over trivial wrong doings, often faced the whip. His
father believed the only way, or right way, to educate a child is with proper
discipline and strict rules. Treats and rewards were no doubt out of the
question. Ever since then Rei had promised himself not to cry in front of
people, not to be vulnerable and dependent. Asides, the damage was done.
He made a choice, and he damn right wasn't going to give up.
By the age of fifteen, being a hormone raged teenager, Rei had noticed that he
wasn't the least bit aroused by girls, at least not in
that way. He simply acknowledged the fact, not being disgusted nor
blamed himself. Rei believed that love was vast, with no confines, no boundaries,
and that meant no age or racial differences, and definitely not gender. As long
as you feel comfortable and loved with that special someone, it was all you
needed, all which mattered. Being unreligious, Rei didn't think the 'right' way
had to be a relationship between a male and a female. Let's say the world is a
strange place where people make beliefs of their true desires.
Think about this. How would you truly know who and what you are, until you meet that someone special?
The simple answer is, you don't.
Oddly enough, Rei never quite understood why or how he sustained such strong
beliefs. Whether it was due to the family confinements or other reasons, he
wasn't sure. Heck, he wasn't even engaged in a serious relationship, and let's
not mention the experiences. The Kon family owned a large corporate business and
was recognized as a wealthy family in the area. Combined with the natural
attractive (or seductive as one might think) appearance of the boy, one would
think that Rei should have no problems finding a suitable partner.
That was true. Mind you, there were girls, and boys, who are more than
willing to throw themselves at a relationship with Rei. Nevertheless, for many
reasons, mainly family ones, the boy had only been in a handful relationships,
let alone serious or more intimate ones. The girls, obviously was out of the
case, however it seemed for the males, their flirtatious nature was out of a sex
dazed, or craved mind.
Sure, sex is all part of the relationship, an intimate one. But Rei wasn't just
after physical satisfaction and desires, at the end of the day, he wanted
someone to come home to, someone who cares for you, someone who you love and
loves you back...
And Rei wanted that someone to be male.
"Fuck traditions." cursing softly, the golden eyed boy once more
placed his hands inside pockets. The breeze continued, caressing the boy's
smooth skin, fondling with the long black strands, only this time it was
accompanied with low rumbling sounds from the distance. Then out of nowhere a
flash of bright light materialized, shortly followed by near ear-splitting
thundering. Large drops of water pelted down soon after, splashing down onto the
earth below, washing away the dirt and grime, purifying the earth for tomorrow's
new comings, for new things... new memories.
Rain poured down in buckets, drenching the boy by the roadside completely. Wet
hair glistened and matted against pale skin while water cascaded from his
backside, dripping from his tresses. The temperature dropped lower if possible,
causing the soaked boy to shiver uncontrollably in the cold.
Welcome to the reality, greetings to the world. This is the nightmare, also
known as your life.
Running swiftly, Rei managed to save himself from the downpour to stand beneath
the roofs of roadside stores. Even in the thick rain, he could make out the
bright neon lights and their writings. Sparing a quick glance at his
surroundings, he was made aware of the place and situation he was put in. Red
tinted his cheeks for the second time that night, but this time from the
possible prospect of events that could happen.
His little stroll had subconsciously taken him to the red light districts. Not
that Rei hadn't been here before, just not often. After all, what are friends
for anyway? He was even aware of the best places, though that
information was fed unwillingly. But tonight the circumstances were a little,
different.
An eighteen year old boy, unaccompanied, needs to vent out frustration.
It was pouring rain, he had money, and was standing outside some random
sex shop.
Decision time.
tbc...
==========
A/N: I am crazy, but please review anyway, it will make my day.