Disclaimer: I do not own Clarice, Hanni, Velma, Roxie, Billy, Sam, Frodo,
Minerva, Severus, Harry, Julius, Holly, Artemis, Jack, Anamaria or anyone
else I might mention. I do own everybody you do not recognize.
A/N: I came up with this idea as I was riding in an elevator to keep myself from going absolutely crazy. I hate elevators you see... Anyways, I hope you enjoy this mad bit of work...
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Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling
"Your session is now up. Good day," Doctor Lector said. Phyllis Dunlay was his last patient this Friday and she was definately his most annoying.
"Goodbye Dr. Lecter. My hat is walking away and I simply must go get it," she said and walked out of his office slamming the door behind her. Hannibal sighed and started packing up for the three day weekend. He heard the door open and then shut again and sighed, assuming it was Dunlay. She did this a lot.
"What is it Phyllis?" he asked not turning around. He did detest rudeness, but this time he didn't care. A pair of hands rested on his shoulders and started messaging him. He sighed contentedly, turned around and kissed his wife, Clarice Starling.
"Hard day?" she asked sympathetically.
"Phyllis Dunlay." Clarice nodded. "If she could just get it together enough to answer my questions!" Hannibal said, his voice rising.
"Calm down. You know what happens when you get upset," she said soothingly, though slightly worried. He nodded and finished packing quickly, wanting to start his long weekend sooner rather than later.
Velma Kelly, Roxie Hart and Billy Flynn
"He'll represent ME in court!" Velma yelled at Roxie, throwing her pillow at her. She missed, however, because her right arm was in a cast.
"No, he'll represent ME!" Roxie yelled back, throwing her pillow and Velma's at her.
"Ladies, I can be both your lawyers," Billy Flynn said. Two days ago, Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart had gotten into a huge fight over who knows what that had landed Velma a broken arm and Roxie a broken leg. They were both suing and they both wanted Billy Flynn as their lawyer.
"You will NOT be her lawyer!" Velma and Roxie yelled in unison.
"Velma, Roxie, please. Can't we settle this at home instead of this hospital? People are starting to stare." That was a lie and the three of them knew it. From the time Velma and Roxie had woken up roughly a day and a half ago, they had been yelling and throwing various things at each other non-stop. People had stopped staring ages ago. Surprisingly, Velma calmed down at this.
"Fine. Let's just get out of here," she said and swept arrogantly out of the room with Roxie and Billy at her heels.
Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall
"Don't leave me here!" Harry Potter yelled hysterically, clinging to Professor McGonagall's cloak. After spending three days alone confined to his bed in a muggle hospital, Harry was about to snap. Or maybe he already had.
"Harry! Calm down! We'll get you out of here as soon as we can!" Minerva said, wrenching her cloak from Harry's grasp.
"Or not," Snape muttered under his breath icily.
"Severus..." Minerva warned. She turned back to Harry. "We just need some thing's we hadn't anticipated. We'll be back as soon as we can, but I'm afraid we have to go now."
Minerva and Severus then walked out of the room; or rather Severus pulled Minerva out.
"I hate him. The stuck up little twerp, always wants attention..." Severus continued to mutter things like this until they finally go to the elevator.
Jack Sparrow
Jack glanced at the clock for what must've been the ten thousandth time in the past hour. He brightened. It was five. He raised his hand.
"Yes, Jack?" Ms Johnson said. She was the head of the AA meeting.
"It's five. Can we go now?" Jack said, trying not to sound like a pirate.
"Oh! Of course! See-" Jack didn't bother to hear the rest of her goodbye and walked quickly out of the room. Alcoholics Anonymous, Jack thought. More like Ancient Asses. He was the youngest person there by about ten years. He cursed Anamaria again for making him go, but once again he reminded himself that he would rather have Anamaria than rum. He sighed dramatically and pulled out the flask of rum he always had in his coat.
Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee
"Does it hurt much Mr Frodo?" Sam asked for the thousandth time.
"No Sam! It's fine!" Frodo yelled. Sam cowered and that caused Frodo to laugh. "It's ok, Sam. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Frodo had just had the One Ring surgically removed from his finger because he had had an allergic reaction to it and his finger had swollen up so much he couldn't get it off. The doctors had complained about operating on an invisible patient, but they had somehow managed. Now, Frodo was still invisible. Nobody understood why, but they thought that during the surgery some of the ring's power had seeped into him.
"You didn't, Mr Frodo. Not much, at any rate," He said, and turned to where he thought Frodo was.
"I'm over here," Frodo said, and Sam turned around. "No, not there, Sam! Over here!" Frodo's voice now came from the opposite direction.
"Mr Frodo! Don't do that! It's makes it frightfully hard to make sure your safe and I promised Mr Gandalf..."
"I know! You promised Gandalf that you'd watch over me. Just relax, Sam!" Frodo interrupted. "I'll be back to normal soon enough!" Sam felt a weight on his shoulder that he took to be Frodo's hand.
"I'm sure you will," Sam said, reassuring himself more than Frodo. "I'm sure you will..."
Holly Short and Julius Root
"Ok, so could you just run through your story once more?" Holly Short said, her voice layered with the mesmer. She didn't need to be using it, Artemis was lucid enough under all of the medicine's the doctors were giving him.
"I was in my backyard having a picnic with Juliet. I took a bite of my apple and thought it tasted funny. I didn't say anything to Juliet. The next thing I remember was waking up here," Artemis Fowl II said in the flat voice that marked someone who was under the mesmer.
"I don't buy it," Holly said to her commander, Julius Root, as soon as they were out in the hall. "Artemis wouldn't have a picnic-"
"Holly, he's changed. Accept it!" Root interrupted.
"-in the middle of winter. Has he really changed that much?" Holly asked, finishing her sentence.
"Well, no, but you used the mesmer. It's not like he could by lying," Root said, puzzled.
"I know that, but he was admitted to the hospital last night. Foaly looked up the weather in Fowl Manner. It was snowing. He wouldn't be having a picnic in a blizzard! I just don't get it!" Holly fumed. Root put an arm around her and she calmed down, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"Neither do I, Holly. Neither do I."
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I know this part was kind of boring and all over the place, but it'll make sense in the next chapter. Well, actually, it won't, but it will all come together...
Click the light purple button to reply.
A/N: I came up with this idea as I was riding in an elevator to keep myself from going absolutely crazy. I hate elevators you see... Anyways, I hope you enjoy this mad bit of work...
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Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling
"Your session is now up. Good day," Doctor Lector said. Phyllis Dunlay was his last patient this Friday and she was definately his most annoying.
"Goodbye Dr. Lecter. My hat is walking away and I simply must go get it," she said and walked out of his office slamming the door behind her. Hannibal sighed and started packing up for the three day weekend. He heard the door open and then shut again and sighed, assuming it was Dunlay. She did this a lot.
"What is it Phyllis?" he asked not turning around. He did detest rudeness, but this time he didn't care. A pair of hands rested on his shoulders and started messaging him. He sighed contentedly, turned around and kissed his wife, Clarice Starling.
"Hard day?" she asked sympathetically.
"Phyllis Dunlay." Clarice nodded. "If she could just get it together enough to answer my questions!" Hannibal said, his voice rising.
"Calm down. You know what happens when you get upset," she said soothingly, though slightly worried. He nodded and finished packing quickly, wanting to start his long weekend sooner rather than later.
Velma Kelly, Roxie Hart and Billy Flynn
"He'll represent ME in court!" Velma yelled at Roxie, throwing her pillow at her. She missed, however, because her right arm was in a cast.
"No, he'll represent ME!" Roxie yelled back, throwing her pillow and Velma's at her.
"Ladies, I can be both your lawyers," Billy Flynn said. Two days ago, Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart had gotten into a huge fight over who knows what that had landed Velma a broken arm and Roxie a broken leg. They were both suing and they both wanted Billy Flynn as their lawyer.
"You will NOT be her lawyer!" Velma and Roxie yelled in unison.
"Velma, Roxie, please. Can't we settle this at home instead of this hospital? People are starting to stare." That was a lie and the three of them knew it. From the time Velma and Roxie had woken up roughly a day and a half ago, they had been yelling and throwing various things at each other non-stop. People had stopped staring ages ago. Surprisingly, Velma calmed down at this.
"Fine. Let's just get out of here," she said and swept arrogantly out of the room with Roxie and Billy at her heels.
Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall
"Don't leave me here!" Harry Potter yelled hysterically, clinging to Professor McGonagall's cloak. After spending three days alone confined to his bed in a muggle hospital, Harry was about to snap. Or maybe he already had.
"Harry! Calm down! We'll get you out of here as soon as we can!" Minerva said, wrenching her cloak from Harry's grasp.
"Or not," Snape muttered under his breath icily.
"Severus..." Minerva warned. She turned back to Harry. "We just need some thing's we hadn't anticipated. We'll be back as soon as we can, but I'm afraid we have to go now."
Minerva and Severus then walked out of the room; or rather Severus pulled Minerva out.
"I hate him. The stuck up little twerp, always wants attention..." Severus continued to mutter things like this until they finally go to the elevator.
Jack Sparrow
Jack glanced at the clock for what must've been the ten thousandth time in the past hour. He brightened. It was five. He raised his hand.
"Yes, Jack?" Ms Johnson said. She was the head of the AA meeting.
"It's five. Can we go now?" Jack said, trying not to sound like a pirate.
"Oh! Of course! See-" Jack didn't bother to hear the rest of her goodbye and walked quickly out of the room. Alcoholics Anonymous, Jack thought. More like Ancient Asses. He was the youngest person there by about ten years. He cursed Anamaria again for making him go, but once again he reminded himself that he would rather have Anamaria than rum. He sighed dramatically and pulled out the flask of rum he always had in his coat.
Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee
"Does it hurt much Mr Frodo?" Sam asked for the thousandth time.
"No Sam! It's fine!" Frodo yelled. Sam cowered and that caused Frodo to laugh. "It's ok, Sam. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Frodo had just had the One Ring surgically removed from his finger because he had had an allergic reaction to it and his finger had swollen up so much he couldn't get it off. The doctors had complained about operating on an invisible patient, but they had somehow managed. Now, Frodo was still invisible. Nobody understood why, but they thought that during the surgery some of the ring's power had seeped into him.
"You didn't, Mr Frodo. Not much, at any rate," He said, and turned to where he thought Frodo was.
"I'm over here," Frodo said, and Sam turned around. "No, not there, Sam! Over here!" Frodo's voice now came from the opposite direction.
"Mr Frodo! Don't do that! It's makes it frightfully hard to make sure your safe and I promised Mr Gandalf..."
"I know! You promised Gandalf that you'd watch over me. Just relax, Sam!" Frodo interrupted. "I'll be back to normal soon enough!" Sam felt a weight on his shoulder that he took to be Frodo's hand.
"I'm sure you will," Sam said, reassuring himself more than Frodo. "I'm sure you will..."
Holly Short and Julius Root
"Ok, so could you just run through your story once more?" Holly Short said, her voice layered with the mesmer. She didn't need to be using it, Artemis was lucid enough under all of the medicine's the doctors were giving him.
"I was in my backyard having a picnic with Juliet. I took a bite of my apple and thought it tasted funny. I didn't say anything to Juliet. The next thing I remember was waking up here," Artemis Fowl II said in the flat voice that marked someone who was under the mesmer.
"I don't buy it," Holly said to her commander, Julius Root, as soon as they were out in the hall. "Artemis wouldn't have a picnic-"
"Holly, he's changed. Accept it!" Root interrupted.
"-in the middle of winter. Has he really changed that much?" Holly asked, finishing her sentence.
"Well, no, but you used the mesmer. It's not like he could by lying," Root said, puzzled.
"I know that, but he was admitted to the hospital last night. Foaly looked up the weather in Fowl Manner. It was snowing. He wouldn't be having a picnic in a blizzard! I just don't get it!" Holly fumed. Root put an arm around her and she calmed down, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"Neither do I, Holly. Neither do I."
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I know this part was kind of boring and all over the place, but it'll make sense in the next chapter. Well, actually, it won't, but it will all come together...
Click the light purple button to reply.