Fading Lily

by The Road Less Traveled

AU HIATUS Lily is abused at home and has almost no friends at school that is until James comes into her life and changes it forever...

7. Acquaintances and Letters

A/N: Sorry its been forever since I updated. Oops. ::blushes:: Sorry!! My dad tried to "update" my computer and broke it so it was gone for some time, grrrrr. But I made the deadline danceluver13, he he he!!! I work well with deadlines. Why? I don't know. Anywho yeah for those who have read OotP this is now A/U, really A/U, so yeah, oh well. Oh yeah and a BIG THANKS to KONEKO who put up with me for ours trying to get through this chapter, and figure out where to make the story go. So I hope this chapter is okay, please read and enjoy.

A big thanks to my reviewers. YOU ARE AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, please don't sue.

And here we go ::drum roll::

Chapter 7: Of Acquaintances and Letters

September was passing quickly. The teachers constantly reminded the students of the upcoming exams, though to most of the student's the OWL's were ages away. Except for a select few, including Lily, and most of the 5th year Ravenclaws. The OWL's Lily found gave her a perfect excuse to escape her life, memories, and self-defeating thoughts and surround her self in a world of books. Under the pretense of intense studying, she was free, for a few hours each day. At least she didn't have to put up with uncomfortable questions.

It was the end of September the 20th to be exact, and the full moon was today. Remus was looking pale and sick, he knew it, and he felt it. 'Oh, well. At least I have them.' He thought looking around the room, smiling slightly.

Lily was working on an essay for transfiguration, which was not her favorite subject. Every now and then Remus would see her glance at James, as if debating to ask for some help from the top transfiguration student. And if it wasn't that she stared longingly at her advanced Charms book she checked out from the Library. Sirius, James and Peter were 'helping' each other with their divinations homework. Basically seeing who could come up with the worst fate.

"I see," said Sirius in a fake misty voice, "you will see a grim by tomorrow night."

"Are you sure, looks more like a poodle to me." James said mockingly. Peter burst into laughter and Sirius glared at James.

"Yes and I've read that barbequed stag is considered a delicacy to Grims, you saw that right Wormtail?"

"Oh yes!" Peter manages between laughs "A delicacy."

Remus saw Lily giggle softly, before turning her gaze back to glare at her essay. Remus turned his gaze to the Ancient Runes homework that lay open on his lap, sighed then looked past it to the extra transfiguration book he had gotten to help him with his now completed essay. He looked at it for a moment before grabbing it.

"Here Lily, this should help," he said passing her the book. "Page 124 has a lot of extra information."

Lily accepted the book with a soft smile whispering a relieved thanks to her friend. Then bent over the book, her red hair falling in her face, creating a veil between her and the world.

After McGonagall had mentioned the study of Animagi, which had triggered his three friends crazy path to become Illegal Animagi, it was really Lily who had agreed to do extra research with him, checking all possibilities to keep his friends as safe as possible. It was Lily who had inadvertently come up with some of the most vital information to his friends' success. She spent time with him in the library absorbing all the information she could and was the one to tell him exactly how it should go and what he could do if anything went wrong. He then brought back the more helpful books to combine with the ones Sirius, James and Peter had found. And though he was never sure if they ever new her input to their success, he had tried fruitlessly to mention her help a few times, she did deserve a lot more credit.

Of course she knew she wasn't researching for nothing, and was told by Remus after being sworn to secrecy, what his friends were about to do. She agreed to continue helping; he knew she would. Though she never attempted to become an Animagi herself. She had claimed she was not talented enough to perform that magic and though he disagreed with her and strongly voiced his opinions, her decision never wavered.

He sighed at the memories, he wasn't sure if she was feeling better or worse about herself, and she wouldn't tell anyone what was obviously bothering her. But at least now she had not only him, but the rest of the marauders to help her through it. These were the best friends he or she could ever have, and he was confident that Sirius, James and Peter would always be there for the both of them.

An hour later Lily put the last word on her transfiguration essay, and slammed her quill on the table, making her friends jump. Her cheeks flushed under their gazes and she mumbled a quick apology.

She rolled up her essay and stuffed in her bag, then proceeded to reach for her charms book. 'At last,' she thought. 'I can't believe that essay took so much time.' She opened her book, and then paused. 'Time…' she looked down at her watch and gasped in surprise.

"James." She said quietly, too quietly, he was still telling jokes to Peter. "James," she said a bit louder packing her stuff away hurriedly.

"Yeah," he said, looking over as Lily shouldered her bag and stood up.

"Our prefect meeting is starting in five minutes." She continued before running up the steps to the girls' dormitory to deposit her bag.

James glanced down at his watch, screwing up his face. "Bloody hell, she's right."

"Ha, ha. Little Jamsie Poo has to go to his little perfect Prefect meeting." Sirius taunted easily dodging the book James chucked at his head.

Lily came rushing back down the stairs just as James made a move to jump on his "best friend."

"Really boys, save it for later. Please, James, we've really got to go." She pleaded. James looked back at Lily, and then shot one last glare at Sirius.

"Okay, I'm coming."

They sprinted down the corridors until they reached the room, and slipped in just as every one was sitting down and took two seats near the back. The Head Girl, from Ravenclaw, cleared her throat and stood up. When the noise died down she began.

"Thank you all for coming, we have some matters to discuss today and if everyone participates and cooperates," she gave a pointed look at the Slytherin and Gryffindor prefects "we should be done shortly." The meeting mostly consisted of smaller problems, different clubs and groups organizing that would like rooms to practice in, etc. Eyes of the more indifferent prefects began to drift, and even Lily had to admit her eyes were feeling heavy and she was no longer absorbing words.

The Head Boy seemed to take notice of everyone's discomfort and cut in to his fellow Head's speech.

"For our final announcement," the prefects snapped back to attention, and the Head Girl glared at the Gryffindor, "since Halloween falls on a Thursday this year, the Hosmeade weekend will be extended to four days. This is also an opportunity for these students whose families have suffered…losses to spend some time with their families.."

There was a grave silence. A new dark wizard, Lord Voldemort, was on the rise, and rapidly gaining power. Many students had been receiving letters from the ministry, the dreaded black letter that informed you of a relative's death, and condolences from the minister. The first few letters had caused such a disturbance during breakfast, that they were now sent directly to Headmaster Dumbledore. He would call up a student from their class and present them with the information, then give them a few comforting words and transportation home. The student would come back a few days later, and all would seem relatively normal, until another person was called to the headmaster's office.

The Head Boy shook his head, clearing the thoughts everyone seemed to be thinking, grabbed some papers and then continued speaking. "Dumbledore will be owling the parents and here is the information we'll need to post in each house's common room. If we could have a representative from each house to post this, preferably right after were done. Thank you, I believe that's all."

The Head Boy and Head Girl walk out to present the results of the meeting to Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore, who had been at a last minute staff meeting. And the rest of the prefects met with the others from their house. Lily waited for James as he went over to pick up a paper, almost feeling the tension build as Severus Snape approached the pile at the same time as James. The other two house's student's quickly grabbed the papers and hurried off and the only students left were Lily, James and Severus.

"Potter," Snape spat, sneering at his Gryffindor foe.

"Snape." James hissed through clenched teeth. Both sets of hands instantly pulled out wands. Lily saw where this was going to end up. She knew Severus and James feuded with each other, everyone in the school did. The results could be disastrous, and Lily, who knew it was a full moon tonight, knew that James could not afford to be sent to the hospital wing over a silly rivalry.

Lily took a deep breath, trying to gather some confidence. 'Come on Lily, Remus needs James there. You can stop this. This is not the time to think about how worthless you are. Pretend you're not, for Remus. For Remus.'

She quickly walked up and put herself right in between the two, tilting her head lightly up to meet James's angry gaze. 'I hope this works Lily.' She thought to herself.

"James." She said softly but firmly, "Not now."

"Lily, stay out of it." He said stepping to the side, returning his wand to point at Snape.

"Not now James." She repeated.

"Your girlfriend defending you now, Potter." Snape taunted. Lily spun around to face him; a scowl that she had learned from her father matched that of the one she received from the Slytherin.

"You are not helping, Severus." She said sharply.

"I had no intention of doing so."

"Honestly, the both of you!" She stepped back to so she could see both of them. She looked back and forth between the two, who still had their wands ready, and Lily was surprised she had held them both of this long.

"If you Children are quite done. James needs to leave now" She looked pointedly at James and added, "Since today is September 20th." Severus looked carefully between the two. The Gryffindors seemed to be having a silent exchange, before James handed the paper to Lily, glared at Snape, mumbled something about "finishing this later" and stormed out of the room.

"Really, Evans, I expected better, even from you." Snape drawled.

"What?" She said, pointedly pretending not to understand his statement.

"Potter rubbing off on you already." Snape smirked, Lily met his gaze returning the smirk. She had spoken to Severus many times over the years and although her wit and confidence was no match for his, she found she could hold her own while talking to the Slytherin.

"And Lucius Malfoy is just so much better, Severus?"

"Undoubtedly."

"Speaking of James, last I heard, you two were related." She waited as his eyes searched hers, seemingly trying to determine if this was a bluff. "These walls can talk, Severus. And you know as well as I, we silent ones have wonderful ears." He nodded slowly.

"Distantly related. And I thought you of all people understood that we clearly don't choose our families." He shot back coldly, giving her a pointed look.

'Does he know?' Lily thought panicked for a second before rationalizing. 'No of course not, he is just very good at suspecting things.' She heard steps that stopped right out side the door, and glanced out of the corner of her eyes towards Lucius who was leaning on the doorframe arms crossed, eyeing Lily with a look of sheer disgust.

"Severus, what are you doing, associating with that Mudblood?" Lucius sneered. Still eyeing Lily, who felt that whatever self esteem she, some how, gained from talking to Severus diminished instantly.

Snape's whole demeanor changed, his body went rigid and he held himself so he towered over Lily. He sneered at Lily before turning to Lucius.

"Associating Lucius? Hardly. Unless you are implying that I have sunk to that level of filth." Snape said coldly, glaring at Lucius.

"Of course not, Severus. We must be going, I cannot stand to be in her presence a second longer."

"I completely agree." Lily shot a glare at Severus before returning her gaze to the floor as Malfoy's eyes swept over her again.

Severus turned and stalked towards the door and was crossing the threshold when Lily lifted her gaze.

"Goodnight Severus." The Slytherins looked back at her, Lucius with a look of disgust and shock, while Snape merely fixed her with one of his infamous glares. She smirked back at him and refused to meat Lucius's eyes.

Lucius turned around furiously and stalked down the hall. Severus followed hi cloak billowing behind him.

"Bloody Gryffindors." He muttered, his swift strides easily bringing him to Lucius's side.

Lily walked out of the room and watched the pair turn the corner.

"Bloody Slytherins" she muttered then turned on her heal, walking quickly back to Gryffindor tower, her pace slowed as her anger faded, and she strolled down the last two corridors with a small smile on her face.

She and Severus had been… acquaintances for a few years now. They both entered school as sort of outcasts. So in classes, such as potions, they found themselves partners. More so after Remus became close friends with James, Sirius and Peter. She even began to share his love for potions and the dark arts, defense in Lily's case. She realized she could never win with physical battles, but from Severus she learned some battles could be fought with words. So from their little banters over the years she learned bits and pieces of his wit and sarcasm. Just having conversations with him supplied her with some of the only self-confidence she ever had. 'But he had to start hanging out with Lucius,' she thought with disgust.

Lily stopped to gaze at the full moon shining clearly through the tower window, hoping sincerely for her friends safety, stuck the notice on the bulletin board, then curled up on the couch with her charms book, and read until she was sure her dorm mates were asleep then crawled into her bed, begging her dreams, or nightmares, not to bring up memories she would rather be left forgotten.

The morning sunlight streamed across Lily's face, illuminating the tears lying on her cheeks and gently waking her from her not so peaceful slumbers. 'Why me?"' she thought, moaning slightly 'Because you deserve it.' Another voice said. 'Yes.' Lily thought, her spirits down already. She looked around, pleased to see the others were still asleep. She climbed out of bed and got ready in silence. She grab a book of potions she had gotten from Severus and went down stairs, her kitten padding down after her.

She passed the sign she had hung over a month ago, proclaiming today to be the first day of the extended Hosmeade weekend. Lily smiled, thinking back on that night. It had taken a week, a forced potions assignment, and her asking to borrow his favorite potions book to get him to speak to her. Of course he did so inconspicuously, refusing to give up his connection with Lucius, as she refused to give up her friendship with James. Both knew they had very few friends, or acquaintances, and were not about to let one go. Though Severus would never admit it.

James and Sirius had been on her case too, claiming that no human could get along with Snape, let alone carrying a civil conversation. Her only reply was that she never said that their conversations were civil. That combined with a silencing look from Remus, who knew of the connection the two shared, James stopped bugging her, for the most part. And well Sirius, just couldn't get over it.

Lily sighed, stroking Isis absently and let herself be absorbed completely by the world of intricate potions.

A few hours, and many students passing with luggage later, the four boys trudged down stairs. Peter spotted Lily in the corner, who was oblivious to their presence, and guided the group over. Sirius bent over pushing the book away from Lily's face, peering at its contents in shock. Lily slowly rose out of her concentrating stupor and met Sirius's gaze.

"Potions! Oh why, Lily, why?!" Sirius exclaimed in shock. Lily shook her head at him.

"Potions is interesting Sirius." She told him, which earned her another shocked gaze from all but Remus, who was smirking slightly at her.

"O.W.L.'s, Sirius, I need to study for potions." She tried. He seemed to accept this a little easier.

"But you don't need to study Lily, you're one of the best student of the year." Peter said, who was pleased at himself for beating the others to telling Lily.

"I can always learn more." Lily told him. "And I'm not that great of a student."

"Yes you are Lils." Remus said.

"I agree, and besides if we don't leave now, we are going to be forced to use… other means to get to Hogsmeade." James said, casting a side look at Sirius, both adopting mischievous smiles.

"Oh, I couldn't. I 'm just going to stay here." Lily said, her day hadn't been splendid so far, except for the potions reading, and Lily's dream got her spirits down. She didn't know if she could take being around all those happy people.

"What! Not coming!" James took his turn to be shocked.

"Yeah come on Lils, you need a break. Come have some fun." Remus said, walking up and kneeling beside her chair.

"Too much studying isn't healthy." Peter added.

"Wormy, here is right. Come on, please, Lily, please." Sirius said, pouting.

"Don't you have a date, Sirius?" Lily asked, desperate for anything.

"No, my girlfriend, the Hufflepuff. What's her name, James?"

"That's just sad, Sirius." Remus said with a laugh.

"Well any way, she wanted a day with the 'girls', James's girlfriend included" Sirius continued,

"Do, I have to?" Lily asked as one hopeless attempt to get out of it.

"Yes!" The four of them shouted unanimously

"Fine, fine, just let me put this away." She said holding up her book "and get her to the dorm." She nodded down at Isis. Who jumped off the chair and followed Lily back up the stairs.

She was tucking the book safely away in her trunk when two owls swept through an open window, landing on Lily's bed. Lily eyed them warily. 'Who would be owling me?' The first owl had the untidy scrawl of the Gamekeeper. Lily set that aside to read later and turned to the remaining owl in confusion. There was a regular paper, not parchment in the owls beak, her sisters angry writing evident from the first glance.

Lily looked on in horror at letter, her eyes already brimming with tears, before running to the door.

"You guys go ahead I'll be there in a minute." She yelled down the stairs.

"'Kay Lily." She heard James yell back. She listened for their laughing to fade before she turned back to the letter in her hands, sliding down the wall to rest on the hard stone floor as she read.

Lily,

Your headmaster wrote us. With an owl!!! How dare you let them do that to us! And you will NOT be coming home for Halloween you freak, but Mom insisted you come home for Christmas, but she might not even come home. You FREAK!!! How dare you burden our father with your disgusting presence! Don't ever write to us with these blasted owls. Father is really mad at you (Lily could almost see Petunia's gloating smirk) and decided make sure you know what a worthless piece of shit you are, FREAK!!!

-Your unwilling sister

Lily wiped a single tear that fell down her face. 'You should be use to that' she mentally berated herself. But upon reading it again she fell helpless to the tears streaming down her cheeks, with sorrow and fear. 'I made Father mad.' She repeated softly to herself, horrified until her tears stopped.

She took another shaky breath, tears threatening to spill again and stood up, brushing off her robes and muttering a quick spell to fix her tearstained face. Lily looked across the room, in shock, to see Sirius standing in the door, waiting for her. The look of sympathy, confusion and shock in his gaze overwhelmed her.

She bit her lip nervously and walked up to meet him, slightly comforted when he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. He paused for a second before lifting her chin to meet his gaze.

"Lily" he said softly.

A/N: Sry Sry, don't kill me!!! The good news is I stopped it here after I had already written a few paragraphs more. So a new chapter is on the way. Soon, I promise. That is if my dad doesn't break my computer again! Grrrrrrr. Any way. I hope you liked it. Review, I'm open to suggestions. Your reviews mean a lot to me. I will update soon. I promise.