Double Kodachis
(AN: This parody came to me the other day when I was watching that fight scene in the anime where Kenshin and Aoshi fight in the library. Aoshi lovers, please don't hate me. It's all in fun, honest. But, the first time I heard someone say "double kodachis" I fell over laughing. *stabbing knitting needle in ear trying to remove hentai thoughts*)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Rurouni Kenshin, or I'd be nicer to them than I am in this parody.
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The first fight scene between Aoshi and Kenshin that didn't make it past the cutting room floor.....
Aoshi: *yelling* My kodachis burn for a taste of your flesh Battousai.
Kenshin: Really? That's what your swords are called? *cracking up* Kind of a suggestive name, isn't it? Come on, I know that the sword is a powerful phallic image, but, that's just not subtle. Compensating, are we?
Aoshi: *pausing his attack, pissed off* You should talk, Mr. "I got hit on by a dozen guys on the way to Kyoto"!
Kenshin: * lower lip trembling* Sessha is not GAY! I love Kaoru- dono!(Kaoru squeals with delight off stage.) I'm just drawn that way. It wasn't my decision to wear pink, have big violet eyes with dark lashes, and long red hair. I wanted to be taller too! *he cries* I'm just a sensitive guy!
Aoshi: Hey, don't cry, Kenshin! Although, you are kind of cute like that...*Aoshi bats his beautiful blue eyes and sighs*
Sano: *using his last few brain cells to reach a conclusion* Aoshi is ... gay? *Misao screams off stage, "NOOOOOOOOO!" then thinks, "Well, that does explain why he ran from me for 6 years."*
Aoshi: Don't be so surprised. Haven't you read any slash fics? I'm the stereotypical stoic character who turns out to be secretly gay and a big sap. Meet my friends, Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing. *gesturing to a handsome Japanese teenager with messy hair, dark blue eyes and a scowl permanently plastered on his face* and Hiei, from YuYu Hakusho. *a short guy dressed in black, with black spiky hair that has a white streak, and who has blood red eyes, appears*
Heero: Hn.
Hiei: Hn.
Aoshi: Sorry, their characters aren't allowed to talk a lot unless Duo or Kurama are around, then they start spouting love sonnets.
Kenshin: *nodding* Sessha understands now, that he does. *he walks over and gives Aoshi a sympathetic hug, proving how sensitive he really is*
Soujirou: And I'm the overly genki boyish character in slash fics that everyone assumes is gay even if he isn't. Here's my friends, Duo from Gundam Wing and Vash the Stampede from Trigun. *a short cute guy with a long braid and big eyes waves and a tall, overly pretty blond man with spiky hair and a beauty mark grins at everyone, eating a donut*
Kenshin: *nodding* Quatre from Gundam Wing, Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho and I all have that "we're so girly looking and nice everyone assumes we're gay" problem. Not that it's a bad thing. *looking around nervously for zealous ACLU lawyers*
Sano: Even though I flirt outrageously with Megumi, slash writers are always putting me with Kenshin. *Kenshin blushes* Well, there was that time we had to keep warm and there was only one blanket...
Kenshin: ORO!
Saitou:*suddenly appearing, chewing on a toothpick, hands shaking* I'm married to Tokio and I'm always in slash fics too. And those ahous at Cartoon Network took away my cigarettes. I'm dying of nicotine withdrawal! And then I have to have sex with that baka roosterhead! *Saitou retches*
Sano: Hey, watch who you're calling ahou, Ahou!
Saitou: *Takes out his katana and give Sano a quick Gatotsou haircut.* I've wanted to do that for years now. You'll save a fortune in hair gel.
Sano: *punching Saitou in the mouth using the Fumae no Kiwame* And I've been wanting to do that!
Saitou: *spitting out a tooth* I can't believe you hit me, honey-muffin!
Sano: I'm so sorry, woofie-kins. *They hug and walk off consoling each other.*
Kenshin: *sweatdrop appears* And to think I shared a blanket with him....
Aoshi: *looking disappointed* So, I guess we're not going to fight now, Kenshin?
Kenshin: Are you going to say "double kodachis" again?
Aoshi: Yes. I have to.
Kenshin: Then I surrender. The name of your attack alone has defeated sessha, that it has.
Aoshi: What was the name of your final attack? Just so I know.
Kenshin: Ama-kakeru-ryu-no-hirameki!
Aoshi: *falls down laughing* I could double kodachi you 5 times before you said that once.
Kenshin: *sighing* I know, that's the only problem my ultimate attack.
(AN: This parody came to me the other day when I was watching that fight scene in the anime where Kenshin and Aoshi fight in the library. Aoshi lovers, please don't hate me. It's all in fun, honest. But, the first time I heard someone say "double kodachis" I fell over laughing. *stabbing knitting needle in ear trying to remove hentai thoughts*)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Rurouni Kenshin, or I'd be nicer to them than I am in this parody.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first fight scene between Aoshi and Kenshin that didn't make it past the cutting room floor.....
Aoshi: *yelling* My kodachis burn for a taste of your flesh Battousai.
Kenshin: Really? That's what your swords are called? *cracking up* Kind of a suggestive name, isn't it? Come on, I know that the sword is a powerful phallic image, but, that's just not subtle. Compensating, are we?
Aoshi: *pausing his attack, pissed off* You should talk, Mr. "I got hit on by a dozen guys on the way to Kyoto"!
Kenshin: * lower lip trembling* Sessha is not GAY! I love Kaoru- dono!(Kaoru squeals with delight off stage.) I'm just drawn that way. It wasn't my decision to wear pink, have big violet eyes with dark lashes, and long red hair. I wanted to be taller too! *he cries* I'm just a sensitive guy!
Aoshi: Hey, don't cry, Kenshin! Although, you are kind of cute like that...*Aoshi bats his beautiful blue eyes and sighs*
Sano: *using his last few brain cells to reach a conclusion* Aoshi is ... gay? *Misao screams off stage, "NOOOOOOOOO!" then thinks, "Well, that does explain why he ran from me for 6 years."*
Aoshi: Don't be so surprised. Haven't you read any slash fics? I'm the stereotypical stoic character who turns out to be secretly gay and a big sap. Meet my friends, Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing. *gesturing to a handsome Japanese teenager with messy hair, dark blue eyes and a scowl permanently plastered on his face* and Hiei, from YuYu Hakusho. *a short guy dressed in black, with black spiky hair that has a white streak, and who has blood red eyes, appears*
Heero: Hn.
Hiei: Hn.
Aoshi: Sorry, their characters aren't allowed to talk a lot unless Duo or Kurama are around, then they start spouting love sonnets.
Kenshin: *nodding* Sessha understands now, that he does. *he walks over and gives Aoshi a sympathetic hug, proving how sensitive he really is*
Soujirou: And I'm the overly genki boyish character in slash fics that everyone assumes is gay even if he isn't. Here's my friends, Duo from Gundam Wing and Vash the Stampede from Trigun. *a short cute guy with a long braid and big eyes waves and a tall, overly pretty blond man with spiky hair and a beauty mark grins at everyone, eating a donut*
Kenshin: *nodding* Quatre from Gundam Wing, Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho and I all have that "we're so girly looking and nice everyone assumes we're gay" problem. Not that it's a bad thing. *looking around nervously for zealous ACLU lawyers*
Sano: Even though I flirt outrageously with Megumi, slash writers are always putting me with Kenshin. *Kenshin blushes* Well, there was that time we had to keep warm and there was only one blanket...
Kenshin: ORO!
Saitou:*suddenly appearing, chewing on a toothpick, hands shaking* I'm married to Tokio and I'm always in slash fics too. And those ahous at Cartoon Network took away my cigarettes. I'm dying of nicotine withdrawal! And then I have to have sex with that baka roosterhead! *Saitou retches*
Sano: Hey, watch who you're calling ahou, Ahou!
Saitou: *Takes out his katana and give Sano a quick Gatotsou haircut.* I've wanted to do that for years now. You'll save a fortune in hair gel.
Sano: *punching Saitou in the mouth using the Fumae no Kiwame* And I've been wanting to do that!
Saitou: *spitting out a tooth* I can't believe you hit me, honey-muffin!
Sano: I'm so sorry, woofie-kins. *They hug and walk off consoling each other.*
Kenshin: *sweatdrop appears* And to think I shared a blanket with him....
Aoshi: *looking disappointed* So, I guess we're not going to fight now, Kenshin?
Kenshin: Are you going to say "double kodachis" again?
Aoshi: Yes. I have to.
Kenshin: Then I surrender. The name of your attack alone has defeated sessha, that it has.
Aoshi: What was the name of your final attack? Just so I know.
Kenshin: Ama-kakeru-ryu-no-hirameki!
Aoshi: *falls down laughing* I could double kodachi you 5 times before you said that once.
Kenshin: *sighing* I know, that's the only problem my ultimate attack.