The next morning I was up early after a restless night. It wasn't only the case that made me toss and turn but also Maura and the way the night had ended. I was concerned about falling for that woman and I was falling hard right now. The thing that concerned me most was that I wasn't even trying to stop it. But we had two more days before our ways would part. And once I was back home, the crush would cease. So, it didn't matter.
"Do you always put salt in your coffee?" the docs voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I first glanced at her, then at the saltshaker in my hand. "Shit!" I mumbled and stopped adding salt to my cup. "My mind was at the case." I lied, noticing that Maura looked equally tired.
"How did your night go?" I asked while pouring us both a fresh cup of coffee.
"Not so well either, I also spent a lot of time thinking about the case." Maura stated. Our fingers brushed slightly when she took the cup out of my hand. Warm, soft fingers that I could vividly remember caressing the scars on my palms the previous day.
For a brief moment I wondered if she too was using the case as an excuse for a bad night. Probably no, because unlike me she was in a relationship. Maura probably didn't even bother thinking about me like the way I thought about her.
The thought of her being in a relationship always tamed my feelings and filled me with some sort of relieve because I would never wreck another couple and was save. I knew at the same time that I was making excuses and being a coward. Shaking my head at my antics I reached for the sugar to sweeten my coffee. Maura of course took neither sugar nor cream and chose some cereal and low fat yogurt for breakfast.
It was so early that we were among the first in the breakfastroom, enjoying the alone time before our table mates would join us which hopefully wouldn't be too soon. The silence that we shared was comfortable and soothing. And neither of us seemed to want to interrupt it until we had finished our meals.
When we sat under 'our' Palm tree afterwards, enjoying the sun, I mused that sometimes silence spoke louder than words. It were the words we didn't speak that said most. We were very different – very, very different, but somehow, we understood and cared for each other. How was this even possible?
The blonde petite that had grown up with a butler and tons of books, estranged from her family and me: the darkhaired girl who grew up in a typical blue collar Italian family, climbing trees and doing stupid things, cocooned by a ever present mother that knew how to cook, bake, listen and love. Even though it was too much sometimes, i found it better than what Maura had lived.
At the end I probably would have to thank Cavanaugh for making me making a good friend. That was if this new friendship continued. The thought of it made me role my eyes and grunt. Maura chuckled.
"Sometimes I would like to know what's going on in your head." She said. "You seem to have a lot of fun." She added with a smile.
"Yeah, me and myself we go wayyyyyy back, and I guess that I've been alone for too long because this is stupid and awkward." I mumbled. Her hand came to touch me again.
And I was once more surprised of how at easy I felt with her.
"Trust me, it's not awkward." Maura replied with a smile.
"People call me all sort of things. So, I must be the awkward one." She added and I raised an eyebrow.
"Are you also talking to yourself?" I joked and she laughed. For the first time I had made her laugh and I smiled happily.
"No, but they say that I'm cold. I'm the queen of the death." Her face faltered a bit, and I squeezed her hand that was still resting on mine.
"They used to call me Roli-poli-Rizzoli when I was at school." I whispered and she laughed again.
"Maura-the-bora." She whispered back and I chuckled. This woman was definitively everything else but boring or cold when you once knew her better.
"Why did they call you that?" she asked. "I mean you are looking like a supermodel now." She added quickly. "And your bone structure is perfect."
Five years ago, I would have assumed that she was flirting with me. But not anymore.
"What does your husband say if you shamelessly compliment other women?" I said in a joking tone. Nope, I had held back any questions regarding a partner so far, but I couldn't any longer. I wanted to know and at the same time I didn't if it makes any sense.
Maura put on her pensive face, and I cursed myself for making her serious again. In that moment I wished that I could take my last question back, but I saw no chance.
"There is no husband." Maura ended up saying with a shrug.
"Girlfriend?" I sounded teasing now and she chuckled.
"Would be more accurate, but no." she shook her head and her ponytail wagged along.
"Oh, I was just thinking because of the… ah forget it." I stuttered and she gave me a questioning look. Then her face lit up and I saw that she knew what I had meant.
"The call yesterday?" she asked, and I nodded, feeling like a moron. I should really focus on solving cases because that was what I was best at I thought. Maura seemed to ponder if she should give me any further information.
"I was talking to my five-year-old daughter." She finally said. "Right now, she's on holiday with my ex-girlfriend." Maura shrugged.
"How about you're partner?" she then turned the tableon me by asking me the same question, curiosity flickering in her hazel eyes.
"What partner?" I asked and we both laughed. "But I'm definitively playing on the same team as you." I added quickly after my heartbeat had somewhat normalized. Mauras raised eyebrow told me that she hadn't gotten the hint because sometimes she took things rather verbally. Hence, I gave her an explanation. Unfortunately, I was not able to determine whether the fact that I was gay excited her or if she didn't care. But maybe, I thought, the unreadable face was like the unspoken words, they said more than anything else and I was almost sure that she would consider a few things knowing that I was also gay.
Before we could deepen our conversation about being single, we had to go to the conference room for the first lecture.
The only advantage of having a seat in the front row was that I could spread my long legs. Looking at them reminded me of Maura complimenting my bone structure earlier. It was the strangest but somehow also most cherished compliment I have ever received.
The atmosphere in the room was boiling as expected. The professor climbed the stairs to the stage and cleared his throat while the first questions were already thrown into his face. One of them was why Rizzoli&Isles were leading the competition. It occurred to me that I hadn't even once thought about it.
Some people ranted about the stupid workshop, saying that they wouldn't even spent one minute thinking about the case while other parties had already planned the questioning of the witnesses. It was just insane, and Maura and I exchanged glances. The professor tried several times to interrupt the questions, but no one would listen to him.
He stood frozen on the stage and stared into the crowd that was acting like a wild mob right now. Sweat was tickling down his face that took on a reddish color. Maura and I stood at the same time, moving towards the stage. The good doc led the professor to a seat after I had taken the microphone out of his hand.
I said the first thing that came to my mind which was "Oh, shut up people! Let this poor man breathe!" What I hadn't been aware of was that the happenings had somehow deepened the gap between the two parties. The detectives were fighting with the scientist, and I was treated like a traitor for defending the professor.
All this hanging around with Maura had made me blind to the raging war that had broken out the previous night in the bar. And here I was just half an hour ago, thinking that I was crazy for talking to myself. I just had to look into the faces of this room to see what madness really looked like. I really began thinking that the envelopes had been swapped by an unknown person to have some fun. No clearthinking person in the world would have handed out such stupid message. Unless they wanted to conduct a social experiment.
My eyes darted to Maura who was still taking care of the professor and led the mike back to my mouth. A loud whistle into the microphone earned me the attention of the entire room.