Max smoothed her long hair back into a French braid, and noted that her make up really didn't hide the dark circles under her eyes. Sinking back onto the bed, she wasn't too sure that she could actually go through with it. How can I, she wondered? How can I just stand there and watch him be put in the earth? Every fiber of her being screamed that it was wrong, and it was happening to someone else.
"Hey," Kenny called softly, not wanting to startle her, from the doorway. "Max?"
She glanced up at him, and twisted her hands together as she heard his unvoiced question. "I'm ready, really."
Kenny paused before joining her on the bed. "We have a few minutes."
"I know."
He cupped her face in his hands without saying anything, and just studied her. She looks half dead herself, he realized, knowing he looked and felt the same way himself. She's not ready to do this, but neither am I. How are we supposed to be? He's our kid. Max swallowed as he watched her, and she knew he was trying to be strong for her. The world seemed blurry around her, and she couldn't quite keep her focus. Looking away briefly, she struggled to say something.
He beat her to it. "We better get going."
"Okay," she agreed, as he pulled her to her feet. "Kenny?"
"Yeah?"
She shook her head, not really sure how to voice her thoughts. "Nothing . . . I just . . ."
He pulled her close to him as she trailed off. "Ssh, I know, I know."
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"Of course I remember you. Hannah," Fred said later that morning as they all gathered in the church. "I wish we were seeing each other again under better circumstances."
"Me too," Hannah agreed softly, her heart weeping for the grandson she had never met. "This is my husband, Maxie's father, William."
"A pleasure," William said, his gaze flicking around the small church crowded with the townspeople. "Who are all these people? Where is my daughter?"
Fred cleared his throat, not liking the other man's demeanor. "Uh, I talked to Kenny about a half hour ago, and they're coming."
"Kenny? Oh yes, the husband," William replied dryly.
Fred bit his tongue, not wanting to add any stress to an already terrible, tragic, day for his son and daughter-in-law. Jerk, he thought, despite that. No wonder they've spent the holidays with us.
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"He's Max's dad," Jill whispered to Jimmy across the room.
Jimmy eyed the older man with veiled contempt, thinking of all Max had inferred about him over the years. Couldn't even show up at her wedding, he thought.
Skeeter and Linda joined them, as Skeeter nodded in William's direction. "He looks like he's constipated."
"You're at a funeral," Linda hissed, under her breath, knowing that he was trying to lighten the mood.
Jimmy tried to grind his teeth together as he looked out at the people scattered around the reception hall. They shouldn't have to be here, he thought, I should have been able to bring Josh home. Never, if I live to be 100, will I forget the way that Kenny and Max looked when they saw Josh. Never. Absolutely shattered.
"Jimmy," Jill said quietly, sensing his guilt.
"This just isn't right," he said flatly. "We should have been able to find them . . ."
"We did everything that we could," Skeeter replied carefully. "You know that."
Jimmy shook his head, trying to shake off his lingering guilt. "There are still some pieces missing."
"We'll find them," Skeeter vowed, not liking his boss' melancholy mood.
"Not today," Linda interrupted. "Please? No shop talk, that isn't what today is about."
Skeeter and Jimmy nodded slowly, as Jill added. "You can work on that tomorrow."
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"There are a lot of cars," Kenny said finally breaking the silence, as they sat in the church parking lot.
"Yeah," Max said softly, taking a deep breath before turning to look at him. "Kenny? I'm not sure that I can . . . how can we just put him in the ground like this?"
"Oh, Honey," he replied softly, as their fingers interlocked. "It's not him, it's just a body. Josh, who he was, his spirit, is up in heaven. We're just saying good bye now."
"That's beautiful," Max replied softly, a bit taken back at her husband's poetic words and felt oddly comforted by them.
"I don't know if I'm ready to say good bye though." Kenny added, seeing the same thought in her eyes.
"I know," she agreed softly. "This just doesn't seem real . . . I can picture the day that they were born. When Josh came out, I couldn't believe it . . . then we were surprised with Em. I never thought then that something like this could happen."
Kenny smiled at her despite the day. "You weren't too happy about having to push her out though. You looked like you wanted to slug someone."
"You're welcome to try next time," Max retorted, feeling a smile tug on the corner of her mouth as well.
Kenny glanced at the clock on the dash, and knew that time was running short. "It's about that time."
Max nodded. "I'm ready."
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"Don't," Hannah said softly, but firmly to her husband, seeing him watch his daughter before the service started. "Not today William."
"I can't even offer my own daughter condolences?"
"Dad," Caroline said joining them. "The two of you don't get along on a good day, and this is far from one. Just stay away, and if she wants to talk to you she will."
"Is that the man she married?"
"He does have a name," Caroline replied dryly, looking at the way Kenny had one arm wrapped securely around her sister, and held Emily's hand with the other one. Protecting her, she thought, supporting her. He loves her. "I can't comprehend how they're handling this. I don't think I could."
Hannah nodded slowly. "I don't even know what to say . . . we never even had a chance to get to know Josh. Sometimes I feel like I hardly know Maxie anymore."
"Whose fault is that?" William spat. "She had every opportunity to come home, and do what was right. She brought this on herself."
Hannah and Caroline bit their tongues at the same time, not wanting to start an argument and make this day any more difficult for anyone.
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Words drifted in one ear and out the other as Max sat through Josh's service. Saying good bye, she thought, all I want to do is scream out loud until I have nothing left. Feeling her fingers brush along her Kenny's, as their hands intertwined as they sat in the pew, she glanced over at a solemn Emily. She doesn't even know what's happening, and she'll never remember her brother, Max thought as she felt the first tears of the day well up.
Kenny glanced over at her, and knew she was trying to keep it together. It killed him inside to know that she was hurting like this, and he couldn't do anything to make it better for her. When Josh went missing, he thought, then we found him . . . something died inside both of us that day. Squeezing her hand in his, she looked over at him.
Letting Noventy's words fill their ears, as they both said a silent good bye to Josh.
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"You sure you want to go in there?" Kenny asked in a low voice, meant only for Max's ears after the burial.
She turned to look up at him, and nodded slightly. "It is our house . . . we have a lot friends."
"They're here because they care," he continued, finishing her thought. "But part of me just wants everyone to go away."
Max shook her head. "I know . . . I don't know what to say or do, with anyone anymore. Except for you and Emily."
"I don't think anyone does," Kenny replied, shooting their sleeping daughter a look. "You want to take a walk or something?"
"I don't think I can stand in these heels too much longer," she replied weakly.
"I don't get why women insist on cramming their feet into those," Kenny mused, glancing down at her sleek black pumps. "You're going to give yourself blisters."
"Oh, it's a women thing," she agreed, glancing through the trees at their home.
Kenny laid his hand on her cheek, and just looked at the women who had been the other half of him since they met. How long, he thought, has it really been that many years? Shit, we've been through a lot. We'll get through this, he vowed, I won't let her suffer like this forever.
"Hey," he said softly, before a bang on the window caused them both to jump back.
"I think I just had a heart attack," Max gasped, as Kenny pushed open his door to see who was out there.
"You okay?" he asked, pausing to look at her. "Max?"
"Fine, fine," she replied, trying to get her racing heart under control as she shoved the jeep's door open too.
"You're not being a good hostess if you are leaving your guests unattended too," William said dryly.
"We were coming," Max replied weakly, as Kenny came around to join her. "Really."
"I don't think we've met," Kenny interjected, noting his wife's expression. "You're Max's dad?"
"Yes, and you're the husband," William interrupted. "You have been pointed out to me."
Kenny tightened his grip around Max's waist, and she laid her hand over his. "Dad? What are you doing out here?"
He nodded toward the house. "I have no reason to be in there. They aren't my friends, and they are not waiting for me."
"You could be in there to support your daughter," Kenny commented, not liking the vibes he was getting from him, or the effect that he had on Max.
"You have no cause to speak to me that way, or at all. My daughter knows how I feel about her choice of lifestyle, and I have no intention of changing my view today. I never got to know your child, and if she was living the life I approved of, I would have," William said coldly. "You took that away from me, Kenny. And Maxine, you know how I feel. This child shouldn't have had to be raised here, so this may be a blessing."
"You bastard," Max spat back at him, wrenching free of Kenny's arms. "How can you say that? He was a child! No matter how you feel about me . . . I hate you for that!"
"You should go," Kenny added, fighting a strong urge to slug the older man, but knowing it would make the whole thing worse. "Now."
"You two are police officers? How did you allow your child to be kidnapped then? Isn't that what you're supposed to prevent?" William asked. "And from what I understand about the people who took your son is that you knew them before? Maxine, you dated one of them? And they both were your psychiatrists? It seems that you have only yourself to blame for your son's death."
"That's it," Kenny spat, stepping in front of Max, and slamming William up against the jeep. "Listen, Jack Ass. She's your daughter! You can't treat her that way."
"Take your hands off of me," William growled, as the car shook against him. "And I will talk to her however I want too. She is my daughter after all."
"Get the hell out of here," Kenny replied. "We don't want you here."
"Kenny," Max said softly, laying her hand on his arm, as William's words echoed in her head. "Just let him go. Please?"
He looked back at her stricken expression, and loosened his grip on her dad without saying anything.
William dusted himself off, and stepped back from the jeep. "I'll leave for now, at least until you both can get yourselves under control. Tell your mother I'll be back."
Kenny pulled Max closer to him, as he watched her father walk back to his car. Feeling her tremble beside him, he tilted her face up so he could look at her. Worse then before, he thought, wishing he got a good punch in at her father. It would have made it worse, he realized, but it would have felt damn good.
"Honey?" he finally asked. "You all right? That stuff he said . . . it wasn't true."
Max shook her head, lost in her own thoughts. "How . . . Kenny?"
"Ssh," he whispered in her ear, before lifting a drowsy Emily out of her car seat. "Lets go on down."
She nodded, as they linked hands and made their way back down to the house.
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"You call if you need anything, I mean that," Jill said softly, not liking Max's melancholy mood. "I know it's been rough, but you do know that there are people who care and worry about the both of you."
"I know," Max replied flatly, glancing around the departing crowd, carefully avoiding her mother and sister. "Thanks. For everything."
Jill patted her hand, and wished that she could do more. "I figured you weren't up to cooking, I know how you like to do that on any day, and there were more then enough people who offered."
"Still, thanks."
Jill followed Max's quick glance at her mother and sister and paused before asking. "Where did you dad go? I haven't seen him in awhile."
"Uh. He left . . . when we got here."
"Oh, I don't want to intrude, but why?"
Max swallowed, as he fathers' words echoed over and over again. "Um, we don't get along on the best of days . . . and today wasn't one."
"I'm sorry," Jill said softly, as they watched some of the others drive off. "I really don't know what else to say."
"Neither do I."
"Maxie? I don't want to interrupt, but did your father say when he'd be back? It's been hours," Hannah asked joining them. "Or where he went?"
Max shrugged. "I don't know, and I didn't really care enough to ask."
Hannah bit her tongue at her daughter's hostility, and knew it was a rough day for her, "Okay. I tried his cell phone, and Linwood called on mine looking for him. You remember Linwood Stevenson?"
"Yeah, he's Dad's law partner," Max replied blandly to her mother's babbling, wishing they would both just go away.
She saw Kenny over in the corner with Skeeter and Carter, and wanted nothing more then to disappear upstairs with him. Just to be held, she thought because I can't keep standing here exchanging pleasantries with people. I'm going to scream, really. Kenny and Em, those are the only two people I want to see right now.
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"I'm not sending you any more money," William growled into his cell phone. "What you got from those people should be more then enough."
He listened to the demanding voice on the phone, and cursed himself for getting involved in this. It's in a downward spiral, he thought, and I'm not sure on how to get it out. It's starting to fall apart, and I won't allow that to happen. It didn't work out how I planned, but this angle could work too.
"Tell the clients that is unacceptable," he said more calmly into the phone. "And the original deal stands. We all have too much to lose if this all falls apart."
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Closing his eyes against the gathering darkness, he vowed to hold up his end of the case.
Kenny and Max watched the last of the cars depart, as Emily slept peacefully in her playpen. Kenny glanced over at his pale and stricken wife, and knew that was barely holding it together. No, he argued with himself, she was barely holding it together before her dad's tirade. Now I'm not sure how she's doing it. How I'm doing it. He watched her as she leaned against the counter, and slid her feet out of her shoes.
"Feels good to have those off?" he stated, trying to lighten the mood somewhat.
"It's just about the only thing that does."
"Max," he faltered, not sure where to go with this. "What he, your dad, said . . ."
She looked over at him, as he trailed off and sighed. "He hates me Kenny. I don't think I realized how much until today."
"Why? It can't just be because you didn't choose to live the life that he had mapped out for you."
Max shook her head. "I was never who he wanted me to be . . . Kenny?"
He heard the question in her voice and saw it on her face, and we walked the few feet over to her. Taking her hands in his he spoke softly, but firmly to her. "This is not your fault. Don't even think that for a minute."
Max gulped back a sob, and wrapped her arms around him tightly. I blamed him for this months ago, she thought, as he pulled her against him. How could he forgive me for that? I didn't know that it would feel this bad.
"We'll get through this," he whispered in her ear. "I love you, Honey. You, me and Em, we'll get through this together."
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"Sir? We just got these pictures and information faxed over from the FBI," Skeeter said a few mornings later. "They thought that we would want to know."
Jimmy took the folder from the younger man silently and flipped in open. Skimming the contents quickly, he tried not to gag. "This is them."
"Frolicking on the beach," Skeeter commented dryly, thinking of his devastated friends. "It doesn't seem right some how."
"FBI is watching them?"
Skeeter nodded in confirmation. "Yeah. There are people staked out in front of their house out there, and they're just waiting for confirmation from the bureau and the local authorities."
Jimmy nodded. "How long?"
Skeeter shrugged. "A day? Maybe two or three."
Jimmy nodded, hoping their capture would bring some comfort. "Let's hope so. I don't think I can tell Kenny or Max anything else. I'm not sure that they could take it."
Skeeter shook his head. "I know. I didn't even know what to say to them at the funeral or after. They'll be okay though, they're both pretty tough. Plus, they've got Emily to think about. Are you ever going to take them off leave?"
Jimmy thought back to the funeral, and their obvious shock and numbness still. "Eventually, they need time to heal."
Skeeter nodded in agreement, as he moved toward the door. "Yeah. Hopefully it'll all be good news from now on."
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Kenny watched his wife and daughter as they played in the backyard the next morning. She really needs to eat something, he thought, knowing that Max was way to thin under her hooded sweat shirt and gym shorts, with her hair twisted off her face. He watched her as she lifted a laughing Emily up, and caught the hint of a smile on her face too. She tickled Em's stomach, as she placed her back on her own small feet. It brought a smile to his face as he watched the two of them. We'll be okay, he thought, the three of us. I'll make sure they are. Pushing the back door open, he went to join them.
"It's getting to be summer," he commented, joining her on the damp grass, and pressing his lips to hers. "You're going to burn.
"Hmm. The sun feels great," Max agreed, as Em toddled back over to them.
"Daddy, catch," she said, pushing the beach ball at him, as Max tried not to giggle at Kenny getting a mouth full of it.
"Yeah, got it," he said, tossing it up in the air, and catching Max's suppressed smile. "Glad you find that amusing . . . it's good to see you smile."
"You too."
Groaning inwardly at the car in the drive, Max prayed that it wasn't her family. I can't handle seeing my dad again she thought wildly. Catching sight of the cruiser she couldn't decide what was a worse option, her family or more bad news.
"Hey, we're down here," Kenny called a bit reluctantly, as he stood. He held his hand out to Max, and pulled her up as Jimmy and Skeeter came around the corner.
"And how are you, young beauty?" Skeeter asked, squatting down to Em's level. "You look more and more like your mom every day."
"You two have a minute?" Jimmy asked, as Skeeter moved over to join him. "We have some news."
Kenny and Max exchanged a look, not really knowing if they wanted to hear any more of it.
"Sure," Kenny finally said,. "Why not?"
"The FBI found Danny and Jen in the south of France a few days ago, and staked out around their home and followed them whenever they left," Jimmy said without preamble. "They were waiting for clearance from all of the agencies to go in and get them. Which they got to today."
"Did they?" Max trailed off as Jimmy paused, almost afraid to be hopeful that they might be in custody.
Jimmy gave them both a shrewd once over before continuing. "They waited until it was dark, and planned on taking them by surprise. When they got inside, they found something unexpected."
Josh, Kenny thought, could the other baby have been some sort of cruel joke? Looping one arm around Max's waist, he prayed that it was true, as he pulled her to him.
"It was Danny and Jen inside," Jimmy confirmed. "But they were dead, and it looks like a professional hit."