NOTE: It turns out that Josef wanted to be in Slytherin, but I'm too lazy
to change it. Therefore, I have mentioned the fact in this chapter.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
McGonagal let the girls choose which house they wanted to have their classes with. They chose to be with the Slytherins since Caroline was the only fourth year they knew. She seemed like a fun person to hang out with.
That morning, they just happened to leave the Smookershnob common room just as Snape was leaving his room. His hair had finally almost returned to normal, but Kee-Kee noticed a few threads of purple near his temple. Unfortunately, they were all too asleep to torment the poor professor.
They sat at the Slytherin table since everywhere else looked pretty crowded. Josef joined them.
"I'm supposed to be in Slytherin!" he stated angrily. "I'm going to be the next Dark Lord!"
"Whatever," Kee-Kee mumbled as she smeared an unhealthy amount of butter onto her toast.
"What do we have first?" Ray-Ray yawned.
"Herbology," Ara said with a glance at the schedule.
Dumbledore rose to his feet. and silence fell over the Great Hall.
"Since she couldn't be with us last evening, I would now like to introduce you to your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Miss Theodora Dipstick will be instructing you in this fascinating subject. I wish you a pleasant day to start off the new school year."
They took a moment to study Professor Dipstick. She was short and skinny with dull brown hair. Her robes looked dirty and were slightly too small. As usual, Ron, Harry, and Hermione were discussing the new teacher over at the Gryfindor table. They were probably finding some way to connect her to Voldemort.
"We should get going," Elizabeth announced.
They said goodbye to Chippy who had DADA first and trekked across the lawn to the greenhouses. Ramo felt the urge to throw rocks through the huge sheets of glass.
Herbology turned out to be a rather dull class. Professor Sprout gave them each an odd plant with little blue barbs and told them to figure out how to feed it.
"It would be nice if she told us what the hell these stupid things were!" Caroline grumbled as she tried to stuff a piece of hamburger into the hole at the top.
"Maybe it's a cannibal plant," Ramo suggested.
She began ripping the leaves off of random plants in the green house and stuffing them into any visible opening on the cactus-like object. Kee-Kee stole some bottles from Sprout's bag and dumped the contents onto hers. Elizabeth was ripping the barbs off the one in front of her. Ray-Ray and Ara were seeing if it liked human hair. The girl behind them lost a large clump of hair to their cause. None of the other Slytherins were having any luck either.
At the end of class, Kee-Kee's plant was dead, Elizabeth's was oozing pus from where the spines used to be, Ramo was in trouble for mutilating some very rare specimens, and Ray-Ray and Ara were trying to dispose of evidence. Apparently, some boy was in the hospital wing due to the fact that someone had cut his finger off. Caroline was the only one who managed to get her plant to eat. But it turned out that her plant was allergic to beef and it would sneeze frequently, spaying everyone within five feet with foul-smelling mucus.
"I'll see you all in a few days!" Professor Sprout said cheerfully. "Next class we'll discuss what these plants are and the correct way to feed them."
"It isn't our fault Lawrence Jensen lost his finger," Ray-Ray announced on the way back to the castle. "She said we could use any resources available to find something the plant would like. Jensen was an easy target."
"He was asleep during class, and he's an idiot," Ara added.
"It took him five minutes before he woke up and realized that his finger was gone."
"Professor Sprout needs to label her bottles better," Kee-Kee stated. "How was I supposed to know I was dumping sulfuric acid on the thing?"
Charms, their next subject, was uneventful, but lunch was another story. The Freak Show found Chippy, loaded their plates with food, and were heading toward their usual spot under the stairs when they came across a crowd. Josef, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley stood at the center.
"Breeze comes in two handy forms," Josef was saying. He sounded like someone from the shopping channel.
"Let's watch," Ramo whispered, pushing her way toward the front.
"For just four galleons, you'll receive five syringes filled with just the amount of Breeze to make a boring class seem like a comedy club! Just make sure there's no bubbles," he squirted a little out of the end, "find a vein, and push on this plastic thing on the end!"
Joesef passed the needle to Harry who located a vein and injected himself with the clear liquid. In seconds, Harry was gazing around with unfocused eyes. A smile was plastered on his face.
"That's some strong stuff," Chippy observed.
Josef continued his presentation. "And if needles scare you, you can buy breeze in a handy pill form for just two galleons more! Fifteen pills per bottle, and you can take one or two at a time depending on how high you want to get! Weasley here will take two. Just watch what happens!"
Ron downed two innocent looking white pills and was soon leaning against the wall, laughing his head off.
The audience applauded.
"Contact me if you're interested in this remarkable advancement in drug history!" Josef called.
After lunch, they had transfiguration with the Ravenclaws. It was a review for most students, and a good chance for the Freak Show to get caught up. Tranfiguration actually wasn't too hard. You just had to put your will into it. History of Magic followed. They all agreed that some of Josef's Breeze would have been helpful.
"You do NOT want to have Defense Against the Dark Arts!" Chippy moaned after they had said goodbye to Caroline and returned to the Smookershnob common room.
"Why not?" Ray-Ray inquired.= "Professor Dipstick is always drunk, and instead of teaching us something useful, she taught us how to pole dance!" Chippy wailed.
"Shit! We have her tomorrow morning!" Ramo growled.
Now dreading their DADA classes, the Freak Show did their homework in silence.
Please R&R!!!!!!!!! OK? OK!!
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
McGonagal let the girls choose which house they wanted to have their classes with. They chose to be with the Slytherins since Caroline was the only fourth year they knew. She seemed like a fun person to hang out with.
That morning, they just happened to leave the Smookershnob common room just as Snape was leaving his room. His hair had finally almost returned to normal, but Kee-Kee noticed a few threads of purple near his temple. Unfortunately, they were all too asleep to torment the poor professor.
They sat at the Slytherin table since everywhere else looked pretty crowded. Josef joined them.
"I'm supposed to be in Slytherin!" he stated angrily. "I'm going to be the next Dark Lord!"
"Whatever," Kee-Kee mumbled as she smeared an unhealthy amount of butter onto her toast.
"What do we have first?" Ray-Ray yawned.
"Herbology," Ara said with a glance at the schedule.
Dumbledore rose to his feet. and silence fell over the Great Hall.
"Since she couldn't be with us last evening, I would now like to introduce you to your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Miss Theodora Dipstick will be instructing you in this fascinating subject. I wish you a pleasant day to start off the new school year."
They took a moment to study Professor Dipstick. She was short and skinny with dull brown hair. Her robes looked dirty and were slightly too small. As usual, Ron, Harry, and Hermione were discussing the new teacher over at the Gryfindor table. They were probably finding some way to connect her to Voldemort.
"We should get going," Elizabeth announced.
They said goodbye to Chippy who had DADA first and trekked across the lawn to the greenhouses. Ramo felt the urge to throw rocks through the huge sheets of glass.
Herbology turned out to be a rather dull class. Professor Sprout gave them each an odd plant with little blue barbs and told them to figure out how to feed it.
"It would be nice if she told us what the hell these stupid things were!" Caroline grumbled as she tried to stuff a piece of hamburger into the hole at the top.
"Maybe it's a cannibal plant," Ramo suggested.
She began ripping the leaves off of random plants in the green house and stuffing them into any visible opening on the cactus-like object. Kee-Kee stole some bottles from Sprout's bag and dumped the contents onto hers. Elizabeth was ripping the barbs off the one in front of her. Ray-Ray and Ara were seeing if it liked human hair. The girl behind them lost a large clump of hair to their cause. None of the other Slytherins were having any luck either.
At the end of class, Kee-Kee's plant was dead, Elizabeth's was oozing pus from where the spines used to be, Ramo was in trouble for mutilating some very rare specimens, and Ray-Ray and Ara were trying to dispose of evidence. Apparently, some boy was in the hospital wing due to the fact that someone had cut his finger off. Caroline was the only one who managed to get her plant to eat. But it turned out that her plant was allergic to beef and it would sneeze frequently, spaying everyone within five feet with foul-smelling mucus.
"I'll see you all in a few days!" Professor Sprout said cheerfully. "Next class we'll discuss what these plants are and the correct way to feed them."
"It isn't our fault Lawrence Jensen lost his finger," Ray-Ray announced on the way back to the castle. "She said we could use any resources available to find something the plant would like. Jensen was an easy target."
"He was asleep during class, and he's an idiot," Ara added.
"It took him five minutes before he woke up and realized that his finger was gone."
"Professor Sprout needs to label her bottles better," Kee-Kee stated. "How was I supposed to know I was dumping sulfuric acid on the thing?"
Charms, their next subject, was uneventful, but lunch was another story. The Freak Show found Chippy, loaded their plates with food, and were heading toward their usual spot under the stairs when they came across a crowd. Josef, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley stood at the center.
"Breeze comes in two handy forms," Josef was saying. He sounded like someone from the shopping channel.
"Let's watch," Ramo whispered, pushing her way toward the front.
"For just four galleons, you'll receive five syringes filled with just the amount of Breeze to make a boring class seem like a comedy club! Just make sure there's no bubbles," he squirted a little out of the end, "find a vein, and push on this plastic thing on the end!"
Joesef passed the needle to Harry who located a vein and injected himself with the clear liquid. In seconds, Harry was gazing around with unfocused eyes. A smile was plastered on his face.
"That's some strong stuff," Chippy observed.
Josef continued his presentation. "And if needles scare you, you can buy breeze in a handy pill form for just two galleons more! Fifteen pills per bottle, and you can take one or two at a time depending on how high you want to get! Weasley here will take two. Just watch what happens!"
Ron downed two innocent looking white pills and was soon leaning against the wall, laughing his head off.
The audience applauded.
"Contact me if you're interested in this remarkable advancement in drug history!" Josef called.
After lunch, they had transfiguration with the Ravenclaws. It was a review for most students, and a good chance for the Freak Show to get caught up. Tranfiguration actually wasn't too hard. You just had to put your will into it. History of Magic followed. They all agreed that some of Josef's Breeze would have been helpful.
"You do NOT want to have Defense Against the Dark Arts!" Chippy moaned after they had said goodbye to Caroline and returned to the Smookershnob common room.
"Why not?" Ray-Ray inquired.= "Professor Dipstick is always drunk, and instead of teaching us something useful, she taught us how to pole dance!" Chippy wailed.
"Shit! We have her tomorrow morning!" Ramo growled.
Now dreading their DADA classes, the Freak Show did their homework in silence.
Please R&R!!!!!!!!! OK? OK!!