Author's Note: I made my first attempt at writing a fight scene (though
it's mostly in the next chapter rather than this one), so I don't know what
to tell you. If I need to revise it, please tell me because my imagination
isn't that great when concerning combat. I'm sorry, but I like to stall
when I'm unsure. Please make suggestions to help me! I'm so distressed!
Disclaimer: Sorry to disappoint you, the last time I checked, I still don't own Rurouni Kenshin, but you can tell me otherwise. I promise I won't become delusional. (Okay, so some or maybe ONE of my friends would probably say that it's too late, but you know I am sane, right?)
The Love of Life
Chapter 9: Beneath the Surface
By CrismHeart
September 13, 2003
As the two sat down on the grass, Kenshin looked at Kaoru nervously before settling his gaze on the ground. He did not want to see her expression of horror, disgust, anger, fear, or even worse, hatred. That was one feeling Kenshin would never be prepared to face from his Kaoru. Hate- something Kaoru was incapable of. It was not in her nature to be hateful, but would he be responsible for driving her to it? Would he be tainting her innocence with his gruesome past, his bloodstained hands? He loved that innocence in her and hoped it would never disappear, much less allow himself to be the one to take it away from her.
He saw her eying him worriedly at his silence, so he took a deep breath before beginning his tale. Kenshin had made his decision.
"Kaoru, sessha- sessha has something to tell you."
Kaoru could hear the seriousness in his voice and nodded, but not without noticing that he had not called her Kaoru-dono, but Kaoru, just Kaoru. The way he said her name was a way in which only he could and it made her feel special. She knew that what he was about to say was something he never had confided in anyone before.
"Sessha is the Hitokiri Battousai."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
If Kaoru had not seen his earnestness, she would not have been able to believe him. This was clearly no laughing matter. Kenshin was sweet and gentle person. Somehow the image of him did not measure up to the hostile nature one would have expected of a murderer.
Tilting his head so that he would not be able to look at Kaoru, Kenshin continued on with his story. He informed her of losing his parents at a young age and having been passed from house to house by foster parents. When he finally being adopted by people that he had thought could love him as a son. However, Kenshin had been greatly mistaken, as they had treated him like a slave, beating him into submission when he did not obey their orders straight away.
Although he refused to go into the details of his mistreatment, Kaoru had an impression just from the slight grimace he failed to keep off his face as he spoke. She was outraged that people could be so heartless as to be so cruel to Kenshin, her Kenshin.
Kenshin then told of how he ran from them and was found by Hiko. His tone became significantly more optimistic when he thought of the training he had gone through with Hiko, but Kenshin's mood changed yet again and became more sullen as his narrative of his four year stay with his master came to an end.
It was after that when his career as an assassin had begun.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kenshin remained downcast as he reached the conclusion, so sure of Kaoru's open rejection that would soon follow. Regardless of how much he tried to prepare himself, Kenshin knew that he would not be able to prevent his heart from breaking.
Kaoru gingerly placed a hand under his chin and lifted it upwards so that she could see directly into his eyes, but it was not her actions that shocked him the most. Kenshin saw the mix of emotions that shone though her eyes, and none of them were ones that he had been afraid to face. In their place, were sadness, sympathy, and something much more powerful. At first he had not recognized it having not felt it toward himself in so long. Was it- could it possibly be- love?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Is this why you think you're unworthy, Kenshin, why you always refer to yourself as 'sessha?' You're not, no matter who tells you that!"
Kenshin shook his head faintly, but gave her a sad smile.
He thought to himself, "She is so beautiful, but she's also stubborn. It's so easy to love her. How can she accept my past after knowing what a monster I am? I love her when I don't even deserve to know her."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kaoru grew more and more exasperated with Kenshin, knowing full well that he did not believe a word of what she had just said to him. And she had meant it too. Abruptly, Kaoru reached into her pocket and pulled out a mirror she carried around ever since her parents' death. It had been to her by her father. Kaoru remembered the time he had given it to her. As she recalled, she had only been five at the time and treasured the gift, and she still did. When he had first presented it to her he had told her that whenever she looked at it she would be able to see all her loved ones because they were a part of her.
"How fitting," Kaoru thought, "A mirror that forces you to look beneath the surface."
She held it up to Kenshin and asked, "What do you see when you look at yourself?"
Kenshin stayed there, quiet and unmoving, staring intently at the mirror for a moment before glancing back at Kaoru.
She knew that Kenshin was not going to answer her, so she only looked at him, her eyes full of silent tears.
Kenshin was alarmed for he could not bear the thought of Kaoru being hurt especially because of him.
"Why? Why would you cry for me?" Kenshin inquired, reaching out to comfort her.
Kaoru understood his question. He still saw himself as less than a person. "Your past is what has made you who you are. You are Himura Kenshin, one who changes the way others look at life through compassion. Promise me you won't ever change."
Those words replayed themselves over and over in his mind and he could feel his heart throbbing. They meant more than she could ever know. "For you, Kaoru, anything for you." he whispered inaudibly as he wiped away her tears from her cheek.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been exactly a week since Saitou had demanded a duel with Kenshin. They had arrived at the designated time and place. It was five o'clock in the morning, and still dark. They were both standing in the school gym, but had locked the doors in case someone tried to get in, not that it would have made a difference. The two did not seem to be aware that another world existed outside of the one they were trapped in at the moment. Nothing could break their concentration.
"It is time to finish this," Saitou smirked, "Battousai, I will not allow you to stand in my way any longer."
Kenshin did not speak and kept his calm as well as he could. He easily slid into his battoujutsu stance while Saitou positioned himself, each waiting for the other to make the first move. It would determine the remainder of the battle.
________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note: I'm doing my best juggling between school, extracurricular activities, working (at times) plus spending time with my friends, but sometimes it's just so hard! I am a junior in high school after all and I have so many tests that mean everything to my future, (and I mean everything), coming up this year. For example: AP tests, PSATs, SATs, etc. Please don't hate me! I will finish this story soon because I have an awesome (at least I think it is) idea for a new one and I think it's easier if I work on one story at a time. Thanks for the reviews!
vindemon64: Thanks for taking the time to read! I know everyone has a life, I mean, even I, of all people, try to have one so I'm very grateful.
Tsugoi Kakarlena: I'll never tire of hearing that someone actually enjoyed my story. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
CurlsofSerenity: Thank you for your suggestion. Were you referring to chapter 8 or just all of my chapters in general? If you meant chapter 8, I was up kind of late for a school night, so I just had to end it there. Both writing and typing are really time-consuming for me. I think my chapters are approximately the same length and chapter 8 was leading up to this one. I hope you liked this chapter!
Kitsune KeNsHiN: You are now officially one of my favorite reviewers just because you're so considerate!
Amish: You reviewed! Yeah, I think you should write a longer one next time. Just kidding; what do you think I'd really do to you anyways? (Don't answer that.)
Mercses: Hey, are you being sarcastic here? Well, I'll let it go this time since you disguised it with compliments. Thanks for reviewing anyways.
Yurikkuna: I'm a bit confused. You're dizzy? I hope it wasn't my fault.
Miroku's-Best-Lover: Yay! You reviewed after I annoyed you for weeks to do so. Thank you!
Disclaimer: Sorry to disappoint you, the last time I checked, I still don't own Rurouni Kenshin, but you can tell me otherwise. I promise I won't become delusional. (Okay, so some or maybe ONE of my friends would probably say that it's too late, but you know I am sane, right?)
The Love of Life
Chapter 9: Beneath the Surface
By CrismHeart
September 13, 2003
As the two sat down on the grass, Kenshin looked at Kaoru nervously before settling his gaze on the ground. He did not want to see her expression of horror, disgust, anger, fear, or even worse, hatred. That was one feeling Kenshin would never be prepared to face from his Kaoru. Hate- something Kaoru was incapable of. It was not in her nature to be hateful, but would he be responsible for driving her to it? Would he be tainting her innocence with his gruesome past, his bloodstained hands? He loved that innocence in her and hoped it would never disappear, much less allow himself to be the one to take it away from her.
He saw her eying him worriedly at his silence, so he took a deep breath before beginning his tale. Kenshin had made his decision.
"Kaoru, sessha- sessha has something to tell you."
Kaoru could hear the seriousness in his voice and nodded, but not without noticing that he had not called her Kaoru-dono, but Kaoru, just Kaoru. The way he said her name was a way in which only he could and it made her feel special. She knew that what he was about to say was something he never had confided in anyone before.
"Sessha is the Hitokiri Battousai."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
If Kaoru had not seen his earnestness, she would not have been able to believe him. This was clearly no laughing matter. Kenshin was sweet and gentle person. Somehow the image of him did not measure up to the hostile nature one would have expected of a murderer.
Tilting his head so that he would not be able to look at Kaoru, Kenshin continued on with his story. He informed her of losing his parents at a young age and having been passed from house to house by foster parents. When he finally being adopted by people that he had thought could love him as a son. However, Kenshin had been greatly mistaken, as they had treated him like a slave, beating him into submission when he did not obey their orders straight away.
Although he refused to go into the details of his mistreatment, Kaoru had an impression just from the slight grimace he failed to keep off his face as he spoke. She was outraged that people could be so heartless as to be so cruel to Kenshin, her Kenshin.
Kenshin then told of how he ran from them and was found by Hiko. His tone became significantly more optimistic when he thought of the training he had gone through with Hiko, but Kenshin's mood changed yet again and became more sullen as his narrative of his four year stay with his master came to an end.
It was after that when his career as an assassin had begun.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kenshin remained downcast as he reached the conclusion, so sure of Kaoru's open rejection that would soon follow. Regardless of how much he tried to prepare himself, Kenshin knew that he would not be able to prevent his heart from breaking.
Kaoru gingerly placed a hand under his chin and lifted it upwards so that she could see directly into his eyes, but it was not her actions that shocked him the most. Kenshin saw the mix of emotions that shone though her eyes, and none of them were ones that he had been afraid to face. In their place, were sadness, sympathy, and something much more powerful. At first he had not recognized it having not felt it toward himself in so long. Was it- could it possibly be- love?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Is this why you think you're unworthy, Kenshin, why you always refer to yourself as 'sessha?' You're not, no matter who tells you that!"
Kenshin shook his head faintly, but gave her a sad smile.
He thought to himself, "She is so beautiful, but she's also stubborn. It's so easy to love her. How can she accept my past after knowing what a monster I am? I love her when I don't even deserve to know her."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kaoru grew more and more exasperated with Kenshin, knowing full well that he did not believe a word of what she had just said to him. And she had meant it too. Abruptly, Kaoru reached into her pocket and pulled out a mirror she carried around ever since her parents' death. It had been to her by her father. Kaoru remembered the time he had given it to her. As she recalled, she had only been five at the time and treasured the gift, and she still did. When he had first presented it to her he had told her that whenever she looked at it she would be able to see all her loved ones because they were a part of her.
"How fitting," Kaoru thought, "A mirror that forces you to look beneath the surface."
She held it up to Kenshin and asked, "What do you see when you look at yourself?"
Kenshin stayed there, quiet and unmoving, staring intently at the mirror for a moment before glancing back at Kaoru.
She knew that Kenshin was not going to answer her, so she only looked at him, her eyes full of silent tears.
Kenshin was alarmed for he could not bear the thought of Kaoru being hurt especially because of him.
"Why? Why would you cry for me?" Kenshin inquired, reaching out to comfort her.
Kaoru understood his question. He still saw himself as less than a person. "Your past is what has made you who you are. You are Himura Kenshin, one who changes the way others look at life through compassion. Promise me you won't ever change."
Those words replayed themselves over and over in his mind and he could feel his heart throbbing. They meant more than she could ever know. "For you, Kaoru, anything for you." he whispered inaudibly as he wiped away her tears from her cheek.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been exactly a week since Saitou had demanded a duel with Kenshin. They had arrived at the designated time and place. It was five o'clock in the morning, and still dark. They were both standing in the school gym, but had locked the doors in case someone tried to get in, not that it would have made a difference. The two did not seem to be aware that another world existed outside of the one they were trapped in at the moment. Nothing could break their concentration.
"It is time to finish this," Saitou smirked, "Battousai, I will not allow you to stand in my way any longer."
Kenshin did not speak and kept his calm as well as he could. He easily slid into his battoujutsu stance while Saitou positioned himself, each waiting for the other to make the first move. It would determine the remainder of the battle.
________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note: I'm doing my best juggling between school, extracurricular activities, working (at times) plus spending time with my friends, but sometimes it's just so hard! I am a junior in high school after all and I have so many tests that mean everything to my future, (and I mean everything), coming up this year. For example: AP tests, PSATs, SATs, etc. Please don't hate me! I will finish this story soon because I have an awesome (at least I think it is) idea for a new one and I think it's easier if I work on one story at a time. Thanks for the reviews!
vindemon64: Thanks for taking the time to read! I know everyone has a life, I mean, even I, of all people, try to have one so I'm very grateful.
Tsugoi Kakarlena: I'll never tire of hearing that someone actually enjoyed my story. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
CurlsofSerenity: Thank you for your suggestion. Were you referring to chapter 8 or just all of my chapters in general? If you meant chapter 8, I was up kind of late for a school night, so I just had to end it there. Both writing and typing are really time-consuming for me. I think my chapters are approximately the same length and chapter 8 was leading up to this one. I hope you liked this chapter!
Kitsune KeNsHiN: You are now officially one of my favorite reviewers just because you're so considerate!
Amish: You reviewed! Yeah, I think you should write a longer one next time. Just kidding; what do you think I'd really do to you anyways? (Don't answer that.)
Mercses: Hey, are you being sarcastic here? Well, I'll let it go this time since you disguised it with compliments. Thanks for reviewing anyways.
Yurikkuna: I'm a bit confused. You're dizzy? I hope it wasn't my fault.
Miroku's-Best-Lover: Yay! You reviewed after I annoyed you for weeks to do so. Thank you!