Another birthday came. Carmine was now nine years old and growing stronger both in the Force and his musical abilities.
Things didn't change much at school for Carmine. Kids still made fun of him at school for being so shy, and for wearing glasses too, which didn't help with his self-esteem. They also made fun of him for being poor because he hardly ever got out of the apartment since he and his grandmother couldn't afford as much as the people who lived at the higher levels of Coruscant. Some days, Carmine felt like he could disappear, and no one would notice or even care.
The only thing that really kept him from giving up on himself was his grandmother's love for him, especially when she sang to him. Carmine always loved music, and as he got better and better at controlling his powers, he began writing lyrics in a journal his father gave him for one of his last birthdays, and decided that wanted to be a musical performer when he grew up.
Sometimes, Mrs. Hanshaw let Carmine practice making music on the piano she had in her house so he could practice channeling his powers and she personally gave him lessons since she actually used to be a piano teacher.
Carmine was especially excited because he would soon see his father again. But he seemed to be running a little late this year. Carmine hoped Qui-Gon would make it soon; he'd spent all year planning out fun activities for them to do together. If he could only see his father one day out of the year, he wanted to make sure he made it the best day of the year.
For now, Young Carmine sat at the table as his grandmother set a little cake with a candle on it in front of him.
"Make a wish, Carmine." said Miranda.
Of all the things Carmine could've wished for, he wanted nothing more than to be more out in the galaxy. As a child, Carmine was incredibly shy and unsure of himself.
As Carmine blew out his candle, there was a knock at the front door. Miranda went to answer it, and then she called Carmine.
"Carmine, look who's here!"
Carmine came to the door and was ecstatic by who was at the door.
"Daddy!" Little Carmine exclaimed, running into his father's strong, loving arms.
"Happy Birthday, Carmine." Qui-Gon said, ruffling his son's hair.
Carmine was so happy to see that his father had come to see him for his birthday. Despite their limited interactions, Carmine was close to his father, and learned to communicate with his through the Force over the years.
Carmine eagerly showed his father how much he'd improved with his powers and even got his father to join him in a dance. And they were laughing and having so much fun the whole time. For someone in an order that didn't have many dance lessons, Qui-Gon was surprisingly good at it.
Every year Carmine asked his father if he would just stay, but each time, Qui-Gon sadly told him that his duty was to the Jedi and his Padawan. But, he hoped that one day he would be there to stay. Instead, on this day, Qui-Gon brought his son a very special gift.
"I know I was a little late today," said Qui-Gon. "But I wanted to ensure your present was perfect."
Qui-Gon scrounged together as much as he could to give his son this gift.
Carmine opened the box and couldn't believe what he found inside.. A necklace that was made with a black rope, and on it was a gold circle made to hold a picture inside it.
"It's beautiful." Carmine said, admiring how shiny the necklace was.
Qui-Gon helped Carmine open the locket, and inside was a picture of Qui-Gon, Carmine, and Miranda on Carmine's birthday the previous year.
"You can wear this locket and know I'll always be close to your heart no matter how far apart we are." Qui-Gon told him.
And Qui-Gon helped Carmine put the necklace on, and Carmine held the locket dearly. It was truly a golden present, and not because it was real gold. This necklace could've been made of plastic gold, and it would still be a meaningful gift to Carmine because it came from his loving father. Even though Carmine's father wasn't around as much as he would've liked, Qui-Gon always did everything in his power to show his son just how much he loved him.
Carmine hugged his father dearly that day. And, like every other year, Qui-Gon followed his tradition of tucking Carmine into bed before he left.
Qui-Gon read Carmine his favorite bedtime book, Goodnight Little Horse, then he winded up Carmine's music box, and tucked Carmine in and sang him his special lullaby.
Where the North wind meets the sea
There's a river full of memory
Sleep, my darling, safe and sound
For in this river, all is found
In her waters, deep and true
Lie the answers and a path for you
Dive down deep into her sound
But not too far or you'll be drowned
Yes, she will sing to those who'll hear
And in her song, all magic flows
But can you brave what you most fear?
Can you face what the river knows?
Where the North wind meets the sea
There's a mother full of memory
Come, my darling, homeward bound
When all is lost, then all is found
Carmine sleepily looked at his father, who smiled lovingly at him.
"Good night, my little prince." Qui-Gon said and kissed his boy goodnight. "I love you, Carmine."
But little did he know it would be the last kiss he received from his father and the last time he would ever see him.
Months went by, and Carmine went on with his life as usual. He worked hard to do well in school despite the bullying, helped his grandmother around the apartment, and even found small jobs to earn some extra money for himself and his grandmother. Watering the neighbors' plants, helping people carry their groceries, things like that.
Miranda's business started to do a little better too, and she managed to earn extra money to put into Carmine's college fund. And when Carmine won first place in the school spelling bee, Miranda was able to get him a great reward: ice cream!
Things seemed like they were going so well now. And one day, Miranda got a call from her son Qui-Gon, telling her that he had a big surprise for her and Carmine when he got back from a new mission. He also said something Carmine overheard,
"If all goes well, I will be back to stay."
Carmine couldn't believe his ears when he heard those words. A huge smile appeared on his face, and he got so excited.
He didn't let Miranda know he knew about it, not wanting to get lectured about eavesdropping again. Part of his powers was having good hearing, so he tended to overhear a lot of conversations. By now, he'd gotten great at tuning out certain sounds to focus on one in particular, but still.
At school, Carmine held a big smile the whole day, and no matter what the bullies tried, Carmine just kept smiling as he was so excited to find out when his father would come home and stay. He imagined all the possibilities of having his father. Maybe they would get to live somewhere new together. And Carmine and Qui-Gon would get to spend more time together doing all sorts of things. Making music, watching movies, practicing magic, reading stories, and making lots of memories together.
But after school, as Carmine eagerly ran to his grandmother, not only was his father not with her... Miranda looked like she'd been crying.
"Grandma? What's wrong?" Carmine asked. "Are you okay?"
Miranda could hardly hold back from crying as she knelt down to her son.
"Carmine... it's your father." Miranda said.
Carmine got scared. Was Qui-Gon not coming home after all? Had he changed his mind about coming home to his family? Was the mission taking longer than expected?
The answer was so much worse.
Miranda showed Carmine the news report that talked about the Jedi.
"In very tragic news," said the reporter. "It has been confirmed that Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn has been lost in battle. I repeat, he has been lost in battle. The galaxy now mourns a great sadness for the death of such a strong, devoted Jedi who like a father to many."
Carmine's eyes widened and he gasped when he heard these words.
"No... no... no!" Carmine said in complete disbelief. "It's not true! It's impossible!"
"I wish that were so, Carmine." Miranda said tearfully.
Miranda was devastated by this tragic loss. What mother wouldn't be after learning her only child had been lost in battle, murdered at the hands of a Sith Lord?
Miranda held Carmine closer than ever as he cried.
In the days following Qui-Gon's death, people came by the Temple and left flowers and holo-pictures of Qui-Gon from news articles and albums over the years. Pictures from when Qui-Gon was younger up to just before his passing. Sad piano music could be heard from all around as Carmine's music magic began to spread.
Take my mind
And take my pain
Like an empty bottle takes the rain
And heal, heal, heal, heal
Many people were devastated by this tragic loss.
And take my past
And take my sins
Like an empty sail takes the wind
And heal, heal, heal, heal
And tell me some things last
And tell me some things last
In light of this, Miranda worked very hard to bring Carmine here so they could pay their respects. Carmine wore a dark hood over his head to conceal his face both so no Jedi would recognize him and because he didn't want anyone to see his bloodshot eyes underneath from how much he was crying.
And take a heart
And take a hand
Like an ocean takes the dirty sand
And heal, heal, hell, heal
Carmine and Miranda placed a bouquet of blue and yellow flowers near a picture of Qui-Gon they also placed.
And take my mind
And take my pain
Like an empty bottle takes the rain
And heal, heal, hell, heal
Carmine put a gentle hand on one of the pictures. The last time he'd ever seen his father's face, had he know it would be the last time, he would've hugged him longer. And had he known that overhearing his grandmother talking to Qui-Gon would be the last time he would ever hear his father's voice, he would've rushed in and told his father how much he loved him just one more time.
And tell me some things last
And tell me some things last
And tell me some things last
And tell me some things last
Carmine covered his face with his hands and sobbed harder than ever before. Miranda took her grandson into her arms.
And while people were placing flowers, a little boy about Carmine's age joined in placing some flowers by the pictures. His name was Anakin Skywalker. The little boy covered his face with his hood as he placed his flowers down.
"We're so sorry about the loss of Qui-Gon," said Miranda, seeing the boy, assuming he was a Jedi.
Anakin looked at the older woman and said, "Thanks. Did you know him?"
"More than anyone will ever know." Miranda said. "He was a very good man."
"He's the whole reason I'm here." said Anakin. "Now his student Obi-Wan is teaching me to be a Jedi."
"Anakin." called a voice.
"Aw. My master's looking for me." Anakin said. "Gotta go. Bye."
And Anakin rushed off.
Miranda on the other hand, held Carmine a little tighter and stayed by the memorial a little longer until it was time for them to return home.
Carmine wouldn't stop crying when they got home that night. So, not wanting to leave her grandson all alone, Miranda took Carmine and his bunny into her bed to sleep beside her.
Miranda looked at a picture of her son she kept on her nightstand and said to it, "I will continue to take good care of Carmine, Qui-Gon. Just as you would've. I know that's all you would've wanted. I gave you a promise to care for and love Carmine as my own, and I intend to keep that promise."
Miranda stroked Carmine's long-growing hair as he continued to cry. She kissed his head and hugged him closely. And she hugged him the whole night long as they both cried themselves to sleep.
Features song: "Heal" by Tom Odell