A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever. Everything's been hectic
with school and exams. I have been working on this chapter for a long
time, doing little bits whenever I got the chance. Just two things.
1. In the last chapter it says 'That night Kel's heart overruled her head.' That only means Kel is going to follow her heart, not her head, and give Joren a chance to prove himself.
2. JOREN IS NOT DEAD!!! The story is set BEFORE he enters the chamber!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I only own the plot, not the characters, Tortall, etc etc.
Thanks to Reviewers:
Mirette: Thanks. I'm glad you like it.
Risika: I am not done yet. I just have a problem with updates. Thanks for the compliment.
Imperfectionist: Sorry I confused you!
SunshineX: This story is set before Joren enters the chamber of the Ordeal. Kel is reflecting on their relationship as she waits for him to leave. He's not dead. If you are reading this at school you might want to be quick with the part after it says 'the land of nod'.
Larzdinn: Joren is explained in this chapter. I knew people had to understand why he feels like he does when Tammy makes it clear how much he hates Kel, so this chapter is the events of the last in Joren point of view with his thoughts.
Keita: Thanks!!!
Silent Storms: I also like Cleon. Me and my friend did write a K/C fic. I just don't think he's right for her. He was at the time, but only short term. Kel wouldn't have been happy married to him. He probably will get hurt, but it's nothing too bad.
Angel of Flames: Thanks. If you're looking for K/J, have you read the It Could Be Worse (ICBW) seasons by Sulia Serafine? Or Aether Winds? If not I strongly recommend them.
XX?: Joren wouldn't hurt Kel. Not in my fic at least.
Angel of Wind: Thanks. The saying is explained above. You'll know if anything happens. I'm not going to say it in a line like Tammy does.
Lady Me: I hope you still have some patience left after the long wait. Sorry! I'm really going to try and update quickly now. I have the next few chapters planned out. I just need to write them. Dom will be making an appearance shortly!
Merelena04: The trial has already happened. The story is set between the night Cleon kisses Kel for the second time (A few months after Joren's trial) and when he enters the chamber.
Peachblossomluver: Thanks. The next part shouldn't be too long.
Anastazia Silverwind: The nice secluded field comes later. I have just as a perverted mind as you. I'm not just going to write a line for their first time. ;) Cleon is in Joren' year. He enters the chamber a few days before Joren, as does Vinson.
Zella: Sorry I took so long!
Sorry if I spelt any names wrong!!! On with the story!!!
Falling Hard - Joren's POV
Joren was dancing. The tune was a slow, peaceful one and before him was a beautiful Lady. Her hair was long, the colour of the sand and her eyes held the same shade as the Emerald Ocean. She was slim and shorter than him. A light blue gown swung around her hips as she moved. Just his type.
The song ended and she curtsied to him, a smile on her perfectly formed lips. Joren bowed. When he looked up she was gone, another lady in her place. All thoughts of the previous girl vanished from his mind and he felt himself grin.
Joren brought the new woman's calloused and scarred hand slowly to his lips, his blue eyes never leaving her hazel ones. "My Lady," he murmured. A light chuckle escaped the girl as she smiled at him. The Lady's Russet dress hung from her shoulders and clung to her curves, flattering her in a way no other dress could. Joren stood and pulled the girl closer than was necessary as a new song began.
This girl was as tall as he was, and for some reason he liked it. She wasn't as slim as he normally went for either. Nor was she a beauty. But he felt some strange attraction to her, something he couldn't explain. The girl rested her head in the crook of his neck, her short brown hair tickling his chin. He could feel her breathing against him, the feeling reinforced by his hand on her waist.
They danced slowly, moving to their own song. The other couples disappeared leaving only Joren and the girl dancing in the candlelight. The shadows seemed to part for them, the only light shimmering around the dancing couple, making them glow.
She pulled away slightly, and looked into his eyes. Joren's pulse increased as she leant forward and brushed her lips against his. He felt a burning sensation run through his veins. It hurt in a good way, leaving him breathless with a feeling he couldn't describe. She brought her gaze back to his shining eyes. "I love you Joren," she whispered. Joren smiled again, finding his breath briefly. "I love you too, Keladry."
***************
Joren groaned as he woke up and shoved his head under his pillow. He had been having dreams like that since he saw Kel at his trial. It was infuriating to say the least.
At first he had dismissed them, saying he felt nothing for the lump. Then he had begun arguing with himself. It was an ongoing battle that neither part of him seemed able to win.
Until two days ago.
That was when he had kissed her. He was shocked with his own boldness, and that she hadn't broken his nose for the privilege. As much as he hated to admit it, the girl was stronger than him.
It was that night the half of him saying he didn't care had begun to slowly lose the fight. The war was not over but the ice inside of him had begun to thaw, creating streams of feeling and emotion through his cold body.
Joren growled into his bed. He, to put it lightly, was not pleased with his emotions. At all. They had betrayed him in the worst possible way. It had to be some sort of punishment from the Gods. Joren promised himself that he would get revenge on Gainel, the dream king.
'Why?' questioned the annoying (in Joren's opinion) side of him. 'He's only forcing you to see what you're too scared to.'
Joren yelled in frustration, throwing his pillow at the first thing he saw. Which happened to be his Knight master who had just entered Joren's tent. Joren's eyes went slightly larger than they normally were. he groaned inwardly at his other side. All he got in response was inane giggling and Paxton's raised eyebrow.
***************
Joren growled fiercely as his stomach grumbled. He glared at anyone who dared to look at him, anger rolling off him in waves, causing the few people around to hurry out of his way.
Joren was hungry. He had spent the morning jousting with Paxton and doing his 'squirely duties', as he called them. He had worked his appetite up and was looking forward, desperately to lunch.
Unlike Kel, who had worked to keep her mind off things, Joren had worked because of the need to and defiantly ignored his thoughts. That was his way of escaping the unnecessary contemplative part of his brain.
Anyway, this was not the cause of his foul mood and neither, strangely enough, was the dream. Oh no, Joren was pissed off because he was hungry and couldn't eat. Not literally, he was perfectly capable of eating, but because Paxton was out of water and had so kindly 'asked' Joren to fetch him some.
So here he was, walking angrily towards the well, glaring at anything that moved, whether it was human, animal or just the wind. The ring of trees came into view and he smiled grimly. Soon he would be able to eat.
Joren stopped just outside the circle. He thought he could hear someone else in the clearing, sighing. Cautiously he walked through a gap in the leaves. Joren's breath caught in his throat. The slight wind ruffled through her hair as she turned. A light dizzy feeling took over him as he stared into her hazel eyes. Only one thing managed to enter his head at that moment. .
Joren quickly looked at the ground, flushing slightly, as thoughts of the last time they met swam round his confused mind. He scowled.
The squire looked up and glared at Kel. He hated how she could have so much power over him and not even know it. Joren walked quickly to the opposite side of the well, trying to retain as much dignity as possible.
'Look at her. You know you want to.'
Joren groaned inwardly. It was THAT part of him again. However, he complied. Again a dizzy feeling overtook him, butterflies appearing in his stomach. Kel looked up, and the sensation intensified. Joren was becoming breathless as she shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze. Just as he thought he would collapse, she looked down again, releasing Joren from her spell. He frowned.
His other side chuckled.
'I am you. You did it to yourself.'
he growled irritably. He used to like the other half of himself. They'd got along so well.
'Not until you admit you like Keladry.'
His former friend mock sighed.
'Then I shall never go away. What a shame'
'Just admit it,' Retorted his other half, 'You like her. You know you do. Just say the words and I'll be on my way. You. Like. Her.'
I he yelled furiously at himself. He could tell his second mind was grinning in triumph.
'I never said love.'
Joren felt a large chunk of his glacier shift and melt, leaving only a thin layer of ice to protect to his heart. Before he knew what he was doing, he had walked over to Kel and placed his hand on top of hers. He had to bite his lip to keep from gasping at the sparks that shot up his arm with just that little contact.
The squire looked up to see surprise on the younger woman's face. He smiled slightly even though he felt disappointed when she moved her hand away, looking at him suspiciously. In the circumstances, it was the best reaction he could have hoped for.
"Relax," he told her, as he began to lower the bucket into the well, "I don't bite." Turning away slightly, he whispered to himself, "Unless you want me to." Joren felt shocked at his own words. Since when had he flirted with Kel, even if she didn't hear him?
"What was that?" He heard Kel demand. Apparently she had heard. His head snapped up, looking at her with wide-eyed innocence. Joren chose the quick way out, the one with less explanations or fights. "I didn't say anything."
Joren saw a change in her demeanour, almost as if she was inwardly laughing at him. "Sure," she said sarcastically. Joren's eyes got wider and he called out in indignation, "Hey!" It seemed that Kel found something about this immensely funny, as she began to laugh. The sound was like music to Joren's ears.
When Kel had calmed, they started to fill the buckets, talking as they did. Joren was determined to show her that he was not as bad as he appeared to be. He listened to her talk of her family and friends, speaking in return, of his own.
The task was soon done, for, as they say, two heads are better than one. Kel smiled at him. Joren felt his heart skip a beat. That was when he realised the smile reached her eyes. "Thanks," said Kel. Joren had to shake himself so he could reply.
"What for?" He questioned.
"Just - Thanks," She said, for a lack of anything better, it seemed. Joren nodded his response, thinking how cute she looked right then. Without thinking he bent down to pick up his buckets. He was caught off guard when something hit his head. He brought himself upright to see Kel looking dazed. Instantly he felt worried. Had he hurt her?
Joren gently removed Kel's hand from her forehead. She looked at him, slightly startled. The older squire carefully brushed his thumb over the slight discolouration. He inwardly winced. It must have been a hard hit for it to be bruising already.
"Looks like it's going to bruise," he told her quietly before smiling apologetically. "Mother always said I had a hard head." Kel scrunched her nose up, in what Joren deemed to be the most adorable way he had ever seen.
"She wasn't kidding," he heard Kel drawl, but all his mind could think of was kissing her. He heard her breath hitch and knew she could tell what he was thinking.
Not one to disappoint, Joren leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips over hers. Her closeness was driving him mad. He needed her nearer. The squire wrapped his arms around Kel's waist, and felt hands entangling themselves in long silvery hair. Joren felt a rush of happiness. She was definitely attracted to him. Joren could feel Kel shaking from the rush of emotions and hormones. He walked her back and sat her on the stonewall of the well to keep her from falling. It was evident she had never done anything like this before.
Joren moved his hands down to her hips and pulled away slightly. He looked at her. Kel's face was flushed; her lips parted slightly, breath coming in short sharp gasps. Her eyes were filled desire and lust. Joren again leaned forward and began kissing her neck tenderly. He shivered a little as Kel's hands began to feel his chest. Joren nipped the skin of her throat lightly then sucked, his tongue running over the swollen flesh, enjoying her taste. Joren heard Kel groan at his ministrations and smiled. It was good to know he had some power over her. The noise made Joren curious, and he decided to tease her some more. He slid his hands up her sides until they came to rest on her breasts and rubbed gently. He felt her try to suppress a moan, but it came out anyway. Joren pulled away again and grinned at her. His hands continued their upward journey and stopped and the back of her neck. Joren pressed his mouth to Kel's one last time. He removed himself from her, picked up his buckets and left, leaving behind an incredibly dazed girl. Gods he was Good.
***************
Back in his tent Joren put down his buckets by the entrance to his Knight master's tent. He was grinning like a lunatic. That, and the bounce in his walk had caused more than just a few people to glance at him curiously. It appeared the Stone Mountain squire had drastic mood swings. But they didn't know what Joren did.
Just the thought of the looks he had got caused Joren to chuckle. His life was good. After the well episode, Joren decided he could no longer deny hat he felt strongly towards the lady squire, and those feeling were most definitely not hate.
Joren lay down on his makeshift bed and shut his eyes as he waited for Paxton to return. His last thoughts were of Kel as he drifted into the land of nod.
***************
Joren was walking through the copse near the tents of the Progress. He sighed and kicked at a stone on the ground. He was waiting for something. What, exactly, he wasn't sure.
"Joren!" The squire stood and turned as he felt excitement rush though his veins. Kel came running up to him, panting slightly. "Sorry," she said hurriedly, "I got a little caught up. Raoul wanted me to." Kel continued to babble her excuse as Joren took in her appearance.
She was dressed in a russet dress that Joren thought he had seen before, but couldn't place it. Her hair had grown just past her shoulders and was braided loosely. At the bottom of the braid, tucked into the russet tie was a poppy. ".And then Neal wanted." He heard her continue.
"Kel?" he said effectively cutting her off.
"Hmm?"
"You talk too much," he murmured, pulling her close and kissing her. When they broke apart Joren grinned at his lovers expression. He took her hand and led her back towards his tent.
They entered kissing, pulling at bothersome garments that kept them from each other. Joren moaned as Kel ran her fingers over his thigh before tugging off his breeches. He moaned again as she pressed herself against him. He felt warmth at his groin. Joren pushed Kel back onto his bed, reaching to undo her breast band. The girl whimpered at his touch as the cool air hit her bare chest. Joren began to kiss his way down her body, revelling in the tiny noises she made, and responding to them with groans of his own. Kel gasped sharply as her loincloth was removed. Joren was suddenly pushed onto his back. Kel grinned at him and began to lick and nip at his torso, slowly working down. She removed his loincloth and took his erection in her hands. He groaned loudly.
Joren felt himself being shaken awake. He looked up to see Paxton standing over him, a smirk on his face, amusement twinkling in his eyes. "Good dream?" he asked.
***************
Joren made his way to the mess tent. He was starving and thoroughly embarrassed. Paxton wouldn't let him live this one down for a long time.
His thoughts elsewhere, Joren entered the mess tent. He accidentally brushed against someone. Looking up to sneer at the person, Joren came face to face with Her. Remembering his earlier dream, he blushed lightly. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. Quickly mumbling an apology, he hurried away.
Joren watched her leave with her friends as he sat down on his own. Vinson and Garvey were riding ahead. He began to eat when someone seated his self opposite him. Joren looked up into the face of Zahir. The pair had lost most of the closeness in their friendship during their page years, but they still talked every so often, and trusted each other more than any other.
"What's up?" the Bazhir asked. Joren sighed. He supposed he could tell the other boy. After all, Zahir was impassive towards The Girl and evidently knew him well enough to detect his feelings.
"Her," he replied. Zahir merely raised his eyebrow.
"Her who?" Joren sighed again.
"Her. The Girl. Mindelan. Keladry." Joren looked up and glared at his friend. " Her." Zahir gave him a calculating look, wondering. Joren had just called her by her first name. He was even getting flustered. he thought. Instead of voicing his musings, Zahir began to shred his bread, his elbows resting comfortably on the table, a thoughtful look upon his face.
"What about her?" Asked Zahir, choosing to get answers before asking. The last four years with the King of Tortall hadn't taught him nothing. Joren rubbed his eyes tiredly. After all, he had only woken half an hour ago.
"I can't get her out of my head," he confessed, "Dreams, thoughts, her voice, constantly plaguing me. It's better when I'm near her but they only leave when I kiss her." Joren poked his food around his plate, this action causing more worry to the Bazhir, than anything Joren had said.
Then the true meaning of Joren's last words hit home. "You've ^kissed^ her?!" he blurted. Despite his mood, Joren couldn't help but smirk faintly at Zahir's loss of his usual calm composure.
"Yes, Zahir. I've kissed her."
"And she didn't maim you?" Zahir asked incredulously .
"No," Joren's smirk became more evident, "She moaned."
"But.Kel.moan.wha'?"
"Very eloquent, Zahir," drawled Joren. The Bazhir scowled at him as Joren chuckled lightly. Zahir rolled his eyes and his face became expressionless once more.
"So you have something of an obsession with the Lady Squire, and she is at least attracted to you." Joren nodded slowly, now unsure of the conversation and of Zahir. His perceptiveness had increased dramatically since they last spoke. "Then we find out her true feelings on the matter and hope for the best." A plan was already forming in the Bazhir's mind.
"And how do you propose we do that?" Joren asked, true to his form. Zahir just smiled and tapped his nose with a finger.
"I have my ways." Joren glowered as his friend stood. "You're lucky it was me here, not Vinson or Garvey," Zahir told him, "They'd have killed you."
Joren looked down at his plate. He had never considered his friends reactions to his feelings. Suddenly he didn't feel so hungry anymore.
***************
Zahir walked cautiously up to the tent, listening to tell if anyone other than the occupant was in. When he was sure he tapped the canvas lightly. A light voice called out.
"Come in Zahir. I've been expecting you."
The Bazhir smiled to himself. Keladry had obviously already been. He entered and bowed slightly. The woman rolled her eyes.
"When was she here?" Zahir asked his friend. Being the King's squire meant you had connections.
Yukimi sighed. "About an hour ago," she said, "What does squire Joren make of this?" Zahir looked at her.
"He doesn't. He's confused, but is beginning to realise he's in love. What about Kel?"
"Kel is afraid but has accepted her feelings."
"She returns the favour then?" Yuki bowed her head, a smile dancing on her lips. Zahir grinned.
"I have a feeling Joren might mess this up," The Bazhir told his friend. "What say we do some intervening?"
**************
Joren sighed as he stretched languidly waking from another catnap. The sunlight was fading rapidly, giving way to a warm and peaceful night. He had always liked the night, the ways that even through the dark, light could still be seen. It was calmer in the hours of the night, an escape from the manic rush of day, when most slept, unaware of the beauty they were missing, passing them by.
The squire stood from his bed, deciding to take a walk. Joren did this most nights, staying up late and watching dawn rise as darkness gave way to light. His nocturnal habits led him to sleep during the day. Needing only six ours of rest, this didn't caude much trouble.
Joren made his way to a brook he had seen before. It was a long way from his tent, taking him over an hour to reach. Somehow he knew that another would be there, and he wanted to be with them.
As he neared the water a girl turned to look at him, the moonlight glinting off his pale hair, making it seem silver, his ice blue eyes and albaster skin standing out from the darkness, giving him an ethereal appearance.
Joren at next to Kel and gazed at the moon. The silence between them was a comfortable one and he boy began to wonder how he had ever come to feel this way towards a woman he thought he hated.
The dreams had begun about two weeks after his trial. They started off simple enough, forcing Joren to admit his respect an admiration for her. The way she had stood up for her idealistic beliefs, to no less than the King, was amazing.
These dreams he could put up with. So she was more than a Lump. What did he care? Then Joren began professing his love for Kel. That was harder to stand. He began to dread the night. Night meant sleep, and sleep meant dreams. The dreams became more vivid and intimate. It had been too much for Joren and he gave up on sleeping for a short time, until he realised, this only caused him to see these things during waking hours.
It was around two months ago when Joren began to look forward to sleep. The dreams had been the only way to gain an unattainable woman. Not that he had seen it like that at the time. Four weeks ago, the squire had admitted to himself that he was physically and mentally attracted to Kel. This had brought the other side of him out, the part that had always wanted love, not just a fuck buddy.
The battle within himself had caused Joren to sleep around a bit. That method had failed and the dreams took up a new intensity. Cold baths were now a morning routine.
But now, Joren was sitting beside Kel, the side of him wanting love had won out. The only question now was, would she accept him?
The quiet sound of rippling water pulled Joren from his musings. Kel had removed her feet from the water. He spoke.
"It's beautiful isn't it," he stated softly, bringing his eyes from the moon to Kel. She nodded silently before looking at him. Joren looked into her eyes before kissing her tenderly, pouring his soul into it, bringing her closer to him. They broke away and Kel sighed gently, hr eyes dreamy, as if she had been waiting for a kiss like that , before resting her head on his shoulder.
Joren smiled as his arm snaked around her shoulders. Yes, he would accept him. He pointed to a bright star, it light radiating, making the others seem dim. "That's the Pole Star," he said serenely and began to tell her some things he knew about astrology. He surprised her with the story behind The Cat constellation.
The pair talked all night, learning more about each other in six hours than they had in six years. They both knew when they parted at dawn, with a promise to meet again the next night, that they had just begun something as beautiful as the night sky.
. A/N: Zahir isn't mentioned much in later books, so I'm creating his personality myself. Next chapter we return to Kel, as his fic is centred on her. I just needed people to understand how and why Joren was acting that way.
1. In the last chapter it says 'That night Kel's heart overruled her head.' That only means Kel is going to follow her heart, not her head, and give Joren a chance to prove himself.
2. JOREN IS NOT DEAD!!! The story is set BEFORE he enters the chamber!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I only own the plot, not the characters, Tortall, etc etc.
Thanks to Reviewers:
Mirette: Thanks. I'm glad you like it.
Risika: I am not done yet. I just have a problem with updates. Thanks for the compliment.
Imperfectionist: Sorry I confused you!
SunshineX: This story is set before Joren enters the chamber of the Ordeal. Kel is reflecting on their relationship as she waits for him to leave. He's not dead. If you are reading this at school you might want to be quick with the part after it says 'the land of nod'.
Larzdinn: Joren is explained in this chapter. I knew people had to understand why he feels like he does when Tammy makes it clear how much he hates Kel, so this chapter is the events of the last in Joren point of view with his thoughts.
Keita: Thanks!!!
Silent Storms: I also like Cleon. Me and my friend did write a K/C fic. I just don't think he's right for her. He was at the time, but only short term. Kel wouldn't have been happy married to him. He probably will get hurt, but it's nothing too bad.
Angel of Flames: Thanks. If you're looking for K/J, have you read the It Could Be Worse (ICBW) seasons by Sulia Serafine? Or Aether Winds? If not I strongly recommend them.
XX?: Joren wouldn't hurt Kel. Not in my fic at least.
Angel of Wind: Thanks. The saying is explained above. You'll know if anything happens. I'm not going to say it in a line like Tammy does.
Lady Me: I hope you still have some patience left after the long wait. Sorry! I'm really going to try and update quickly now. I have the next few chapters planned out. I just need to write them. Dom will be making an appearance shortly!
Merelena04: The trial has already happened. The story is set between the night Cleon kisses Kel for the second time (A few months after Joren's trial) and when he enters the chamber.
Peachblossomluver: Thanks. The next part shouldn't be too long.
Anastazia Silverwind: The nice secluded field comes later. I have just as a perverted mind as you. I'm not just going to write a line for their first time. ;) Cleon is in Joren' year. He enters the chamber a few days before Joren, as does Vinson.
Zella: Sorry I took so long!
Sorry if I spelt any names wrong!!! On with the story!!!
Falling Hard - Joren's POV
Joren was dancing. The tune was a slow, peaceful one and before him was a beautiful Lady. Her hair was long, the colour of the sand and her eyes held the same shade as the Emerald Ocean. She was slim and shorter than him. A light blue gown swung around her hips as she moved. Just his type.
The song ended and she curtsied to him, a smile on her perfectly formed lips. Joren bowed. When he looked up she was gone, another lady in her place. All thoughts of the previous girl vanished from his mind and he felt himself grin.
Joren brought the new woman's calloused and scarred hand slowly to his lips, his blue eyes never leaving her hazel ones. "My Lady," he murmured. A light chuckle escaped the girl as she smiled at him. The Lady's Russet dress hung from her shoulders and clung to her curves, flattering her in a way no other dress could. Joren stood and pulled the girl closer than was necessary as a new song began.
This girl was as tall as he was, and for some reason he liked it. She wasn't as slim as he normally went for either. Nor was she a beauty. But he felt some strange attraction to her, something he couldn't explain. The girl rested her head in the crook of his neck, her short brown hair tickling his chin. He could feel her breathing against him, the feeling reinforced by his hand on her waist.
They danced slowly, moving to their own song. The other couples disappeared leaving only Joren and the girl dancing in the candlelight. The shadows seemed to part for them, the only light shimmering around the dancing couple, making them glow.
She pulled away slightly, and looked into his eyes. Joren's pulse increased as she leant forward and brushed her lips against his. He felt a burning sensation run through his veins. It hurt in a good way, leaving him breathless with a feeling he couldn't describe. She brought her gaze back to his shining eyes. "I love you Joren," she whispered. Joren smiled again, finding his breath briefly. "I love you too, Keladry."
***************
Joren groaned as he woke up and shoved his head under his pillow. He had been having dreams like that since he saw Kel at his trial. It was infuriating to say the least.
At first he had dismissed them, saying he felt nothing for the lump. Then he had begun arguing with himself. It was an ongoing battle that neither part of him seemed able to win.
Until two days ago.
That was when he had kissed her. He was shocked with his own boldness, and that she hadn't broken his nose for the privilege. As much as he hated to admit it, the girl was stronger than him.
It was that night the half of him saying he didn't care had begun to slowly lose the fight. The war was not over but the ice inside of him had begun to thaw, creating streams of feeling and emotion through his cold body.
Joren growled into his bed. He, to put it lightly, was not pleased with his emotions. At all. They had betrayed him in the worst possible way. It had to be some sort of punishment from the Gods. Joren promised himself that he would get revenge on Gainel, the dream king.
'Why?' questioned the annoying (in Joren's opinion) side of him. 'He's only forcing you to see what you're too scared to.'
Joren yelled in frustration, throwing his pillow at the first thing he saw. Which happened to be his Knight master who had just entered Joren's tent. Joren's eyes went slightly larger than they normally were. he groaned inwardly at his other side. All he got in response was inane giggling and Paxton's raised eyebrow.
***************
Joren growled fiercely as his stomach grumbled. He glared at anyone who dared to look at him, anger rolling off him in waves, causing the few people around to hurry out of his way.
Joren was hungry. He had spent the morning jousting with Paxton and doing his 'squirely duties', as he called them. He had worked his appetite up and was looking forward, desperately to lunch.
Unlike Kel, who had worked to keep her mind off things, Joren had worked because of the need to and defiantly ignored his thoughts. That was his way of escaping the unnecessary contemplative part of his brain.
Anyway, this was not the cause of his foul mood and neither, strangely enough, was the dream. Oh no, Joren was pissed off because he was hungry and couldn't eat. Not literally, he was perfectly capable of eating, but because Paxton was out of water and had so kindly 'asked' Joren to fetch him some.
So here he was, walking angrily towards the well, glaring at anything that moved, whether it was human, animal or just the wind. The ring of trees came into view and he smiled grimly. Soon he would be able to eat.
Joren stopped just outside the circle. He thought he could hear someone else in the clearing, sighing. Cautiously he walked through a gap in the leaves. Joren's breath caught in his throat. The slight wind ruffled through her hair as she turned. A light dizzy feeling took over him as he stared into her hazel eyes. Only one thing managed to enter his head at that moment. .
Joren quickly looked at the ground, flushing slightly, as thoughts of the last time they met swam round his confused mind. He scowled.
The squire looked up and glared at Kel. He hated how she could have so much power over him and not even know it. Joren walked quickly to the opposite side of the well, trying to retain as much dignity as possible.
'Look at her. You know you want to.'
Joren groaned inwardly. It was THAT part of him again. However, he complied. Again a dizzy feeling overtook him, butterflies appearing in his stomach. Kel looked up, and the sensation intensified. Joren was becoming breathless as she shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze. Just as he thought he would collapse, she looked down again, releasing Joren from her spell. He frowned.
His other side chuckled.
'I am you. You did it to yourself.'
he growled irritably. He used to like the other half of himself. They'd got along so well.
'Not until you admit you like Keladry.'
His former friend mock sighed.
'Then I shall never go away. What a shame'
'Just admit it,' Retorted his other half, 'You like her. You know you do. Just say the words and I'll be on my way. You. Like. Her.'
I he yelled furiously at himself. He could tell his second mind was grinning in triumph.
'I never said love.'
Joren felt a large chunk of his glacier shift and melt, leaving only a thin layer of ice to protect to his heart. Before he knew what he was doing, he had walked over to Kel and placed his hand on top of hers. He had to bite his lip to keep from gasping at the sparks that shot up his arm with just that little contact.
The squire looked up to see surprise on the younger woman's face. He smiled slightly even though he felt disappointed when she moved her hand away, looking at him suspiciously. In the circumstances, it was the best reaction he could have hoped for.
"Relax," he told her, as he began to lower the bucket into the well, "I don't bite." Turning away slightly, he whispered to himself, "Unless you want me to." Joren felt shocked at his own words. Since when had he flirted with Kel, even if she didn't hear him?
"What was that?" He heard Kel demand. Apparently she had heard. His head snapped up, looking at her with wide-eyed innocence. Joren chose the quick way out, the one with less explanations or fights. "I didn't say anything."
Joren saw a change in her demeanour, almost as if she was inwardly laughing at him. "Sure," she said sarcastically. Joren's eyes got wider and he called out in indignation, "Hey!" It seemed that Kel found something about this immensely funny, as she began to laugh. The sound was like music to Joren's ears.
When Kel had calmed, they started to fill the buckets, talking as they did. Joren was determined to show her that he was not as bad as he appeared to be. He listened to her talk of her family and friends, speaking in return, of his own.
The task was soon done, for, as they say, two heads are better than one. Kel smiled at him. Joren felt his heart skip a beat. That was when he realised the smile reached her eyes. "Thanks," said Kel. Joren had to shake himself so he could reply.
"What for?" He questioned.
"Just - Thanks," She said, for a lack of anything better, it seemed. Joren nodded his response, thinking how cute she looked right then. Without thinking he bent down to pick up his buckets. He was caught off guard when something hit his head. He brought himself upright to see Kel looking dazed. Instantly he felt worried. Had he hurt her?
Joren gently removed Kel's hand from her forehead. She looked at him, slightly startled. The older squire carefully brushed his thumb over the slight discolouration. He inwardly winced. It must have been a hard hit for it to be bruising already.
"Looks like it's going to bruise," he told her quietly before smiling apologetically. "Mother always said I had a hard head." Kel scrunched her nose up, in what Joren deemed to be the most adorable way he had ever seen.
"She wasn't kidding," he heard Kel drawl, but all his mind could think of was kissing her. He heard her breath hitch and knew she could tell what he was thinking.
Not one to disappoint, Joren leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips over hers. Her closeness was driving him mad. He needed her nearer. The squire wrapped his arms around Kel's waist, and felt hands entangling themselves in long silvery hair. Joren felt a rush of happiness. She was definitely attracted to him. Joren could feel Kel shaking from the rush of emotions and hormones. He walked her back and sat her on the stonewall of the well to keep her from falling. It was evident she had never done anything like this before.
Joren moved his hands down to her hips and pulled away slightly. He looked at her. Kel's face was flushed; her lips parted slightly, breath coming in short sharp gasps. Her eyes were filled desire and lust. Joren again leaned forward and began kissing her neck tenderly. He shivered a little as Kel's hands began to feel his chest. Joren nipped the skin of her throat lightly then sucked, his tongue running over the swollen flesh, enjoying her taste. Joren heard Kel groan at his ministrations and smiled. It was good to know he had some power over her. The noise made Joren curious, and he decided to tease her some more. He slid his hands up her sides until they came to rest on her breasts and rubbed gently. He felt her try to suppress a moan, but it came out anyway. Joren pulled away again and grinned at her. His hands continued their upward journey and stopped and the back of her neck. Joren pressed his mouth to Kel's one last time. He removed himself from her, picked up his buckets and left, leaving behind an incredibly dazed girl. Gods he was Good.
***************
Back in his tent Joren put down his buckets by the entrance to his Knight master's tent. He was grinning like a lunatic. That, and the bounce in his walk had caused more than just a few people to glance at him curiously. It appeared the Stone Mountain squire had drastic mood swings. But they didn't know what Joren did.
Just the thought of the looks he had got caused Joren to chuckle. His life was good. After the well episode, Joren decided he could no longer deny hat he felt strongly towards the lady squire, and those feeling were most definitely not hate.
Joren lay down on his makeshift bed and shut his eyes as he waited for Paxton to return. His last thoughts were of Kel as he drifted into the land of nod.
***************
Joren was walking through the copse near the tents of the Progress. He sighed and kicked at a stone on the ground. He was waiting for something. What, exactly, he wasn't sure.
"Joren!" The squire stood and turned as he felt excitement rush though his veins. Kel came running up to him, panting slightly. "Sorry," she said hurriedly, "I got a little caught up. Raoul wanted me to." Kel continued to babble her excuse as Joren took in her appearance.
She was dressed in a russet dress that Joren thought he had seen before, but couldn't place it. Her hair had grown just past her shoulders and was braided loosely. At the bottom of the braid, tucked into the russet tie was a poppy. ".And then Neal wanted." He heard her continue.
"Kel?" he said effectively cutting her off.
"Hmm?"
"You talk too much," he murmured, pulling her close and kissing her. When they broke apart Joren grinned at his lovers expression. He took her hand and led her back towards his tent.
They entered kissing, pulling at bothersome garments that kept them from each other. Joren moaned as Kel ran her fingers over his thigh before tugging off his breeches. He moaned again as she pressed herself against him. He felt warmth at his groin. Joren pushed Kel back onto his bed, reaching to undo her breast band. The girl whimpered at his touch as the cool air hit her bare chest. Joren began to kiss his way down her body, revelling in the tiny noises she made, and responding to them with groans of his own. Kel gasped sharply as her loincloth was removed. Joren was suddenly pushed onto his back. Kel grinned at him and began to lick and nip at his torso, slowly working down. She removed his loincloth and took his erection in her hands. He groaned loudly.
Joren felt himself being shaken awake. He looked up to see Paxton standing over him, a smirk on his face, amusement twinkling in his eyes. "Good dream?" he asked.
***************
Joren made his way to the mess tent. He was starving and thoroughly embarrassed. Paxton wouldn't let him live this one down for a long time.
His thoughts elsewhere, Joren entered the mess tent. He accidentally brushed against someone. Looking up to sneer at the person, Joren came face to face with Her. Remembering his earlier dream, he blushed lightly. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. Quickly mumbling an apology, he hurried away.
Joren watched her leave with her friends as he sat down on his own. Vinson and Garvey were riding ahead. He began to eat when someone seated his self opposite him. Joren looked up into the face of Zahir. The pair had lost most of the closeness in their friendship during their page years, but they still talked every so often, and trusted each other more than any other.
"What's up?" the Bazhir asked. Joren sighed. He supposed he could tell the other boy. After all, Zahir was impassive towards The Girl and evidently knew him well enough to detect his feelings.
"Her," he replied. Zahir merely raised his eyebrow.
"Her who?" Joren sighed again.
"Her. The Girl. Mindelan. Keladry." Joren looked up and glared at his friend. " Her." Zahir gave him a calculating look, wondering. Joren had just called her by her first name. He was even getting flustered. he thought. Instead of voicing his musings, Zahir began to shred his bread, his elbows resting comfortably on the table, a thoughtful look upon his face.
"What about her?" Asked Zahir, choosing to get answers before asking. The last four years with the King of Tortall hadn't taught him nothing. Joren rubbed his eyes tiredly. After all, he had only woken half an hour ago.
"I can't get her out of my head," he confessed, "Dreams, thoughts, her voice, constantly plaguing me. It's better when I'm near her but they only leave when I kiss her." Joren poked his food around his plate, this action causing more worry to the Bazhir, than anything Joren had said.
Then the true meaning of Joren's last words hit home. "You've ^kissed^ her?!" he blurted. Despite his mood, Joren couldn't help but smirk faintly at Zahir's loss of his usual calm composure.
"Yes, Zahir. I've kissed her."
"And she didn't maim you?" Zahir asked incredulously .
"No," Joren's smirk became more evident, "She moaned."
"But.Kel.moan.wha'?"
"Very eloquent, Zahir," drawled Joren. The Bazhir scowled at him as Joren chuckled lightly. Zahir rolled his eyes and his face became expressionless once more.
"So you have something of an obsession with the Lady Squire, and she is at least attracted to you." Joren nodded slowly, now unsure of the conversation and of Zahir. His perceptiveness had increased dramatically since they last spoke. "Then we find out her true feelings on the matter and hope for the best." A plan was already forming in the Bazhir's mind.
"And how do you propose we do that?" Joren asked, true to his form. Zahir just smiled and tapped his nose with a finger.
"I have my ways." Joren glowered as his friend stood. "You're lucky it was me here, not Vinson or Garvey," Zahir told him, "They'd have killed you."
Joren looked down at his plate. He had never considered his friends reactions to his feelings. Suddenly he didn't feel so hungry anymore.
***************
Zahir walked cautiously up to the tent, listening to tell if anyone other than the occupant was in. When he was sure he tapped the canvas lightly. A light voice called out.
"Come in Zahir. I've been expecting you."
The Bazhir smiled to himself. Keladry had obviously already been. He entered and bowed slightly. The woman rolled her eyes.
"When was she here?" Zahir asked his friend. Being the King's squire meant you had connections.
Yukimi sighed. "About an hour ago," she said, "What does squire Joren make of this?" Zahir looked at her.
"He doesn't. He's confused, but is beginning to realise he's in love. What about Kel?"
"Kel is afraid but has accepted her feelings."
"She returns the favour then?" Yuki bowed her head, a smile dancing on her lips. Zahir grinned.
"I have a feeling Joren might mess this up," The Bazhir told his friend. "What say we do some intervening?"
**************
Joren sighed as he stretched languidly waking from another catnap. The sunlight was fading rapidly, giving way to a warm and peaceful night. He had always liked the night, the ways that even through the dark, light could still be seen. It was calmer in the hours of the night, an escape from the manic rush of day, when most slept, unaware of the beauty they were missing, passing them by.
The squire stood from his bed, deciding to take a walk. Joren did this most nights, staying up late and watching dawn rise as darkness gave way to light. His nocturnal habits led him to sleep during the day. Needing only six ours of rest, this didn't caude much trouble.
Joren made his way to a brook he had seen before. It was a long way from his tent, taking him over an hour to reach. Somehow he knew that another would be there, and he wanted to be with them.
As he neared the water a girl turned to look at him, the moonlight glinting off his pale hair, making it seem silver, his ice blue eyes and albaster skin standing out from the darkness, giving him an ethereal appearance.
Joren at next to Kel and gazed at the moon. The silence between them was a comfortable one and he boy began to wonder how he had ever come to feel this way towards a woman he thought he hated.
The dreams had begun about two weeks after his trial. They started off simple enough, forcing Joren to admit his respect an admiration for her. The way she had stood up for her idealistic beliefs, to no less than the King, was amazing.
These dreams he could put up with. So she was more than a Lump. What did he care? Then Joren began professing his love for Kel. That was harder to stand. He began to dread the night. Night meant sleep, and sleep meant dreams. The dreams became more vivid and intimate. It had been too much for Joren and he gave up on sleeping for a short time, until he realised, this only caused him to see these things during waking hours.
It was around two months ago when Joren began to look forward to sleep. The dreams had been the only way to gain an unattainable woman. Not that he had seen it like that at the time. Four weeks ago, the squire had admitted to himself that he was physically and mentally attracted to Kel. This had brought the other side of him out, the part that had always wanted love, not just a fuck buddy.
The battle within himself had caused Joren to sleep around a bit. That method had failed and the dreams took up a new intensity. Cold baths were now a morning routine.
But now, Joren was sitting beside Kel, the side of him wanting love had won out. The only question now was, would she accept him?
The quiet sound of rippling water pulled Joren from his musings. Kel had removed her feet from the water. He spoke.
"It's beautiful isn't it," he stated softly, bringing his eyes from the moon to Kel. She nodded silently before looking at him. Joren looked into her eyes before kissing her tenderly, pouring his soul into it, bringing her closer to him. They broke away and Kel sighed gently, hr eyes dreamy, as if she had been waiting for a kiss like that , before resting her head on his shoulder.
Joren smiled as his arm snaked around her shoulders. Yes, he would accept him. He pointed to a bright star, it light radiating, making the others seem dim. "That's the Pole Star," he said serenely and began to tell her some things he knew about astrology. He surprised her with the story behind The Cat constellation.
The pair talked all night, learning more about each other in six hours than they had in six years. They both knew when they parted at dawn, with a promise to meet again the next night, that they had just begun something as beautiful as the night sky.
. A/N: Zahir isn't mentioned much in later books, so I'm creating his personality myself. Next chapter we return to Kel, as his fic is centred on her. I just needed people to understand how and why Joren was acting that way.