Happy N7 Day!

Kaidan sits idly in the med-bay. He leans back in Chakwas' extra chair, looking everywhere but at the doctor. Her familiar eyes watch him carefully. They act as mini cameras, taking in his every move. So he restricts them. Choosing to keep twiddling his thumbs and examining the room.

It was so empty. Considering how it was overfilled with patients for the first two months after the final fight, Kaidan feels relief over it's state. The see-through glass doors on the shelves revealed a mostly empty state of the affairs. Chakwas has kept the floor pristine.

The soft ticking of her pen tapping against her clipboard, keeps the quietness at bay. He's been here for three minutes. One minute, alright, she's finishing up something. Two, well maybe she needed some extra time. Three, and she's been staring at him silently the entire time only aids to put him on edge.

"Is something wrong?" He finally asks. Her tapping pen stops.

"Kaidan we've begun these weekly meetings to keep an eye on everyone's mental health."

It wasn't a question, so he fights back the urge to say yes.

"This is supposed to be a time for you to talk about yourself. Vent about your frustrations, the little things that inevitably annoy you even if there's no obvious reason for it." She gestures around the room with her pen. "It's inevitable when you're living in close quarters with one other person. Quanitfied by the number of crew living here without any other place and most people start complaining before I can even get my pen."

"Everyone's stressed. Complaining won't make our situation any better."

"It might."

"I don't have anything to complain about."

"Really? How are your migraines?"

"I'm used to those."

"Clearly." She taps her pen against her clipboard. "Is that why you wince ever hour or so?"

"What do you mean?"

Chakwas sighs. With a click she finally puts down her clipboard and pen. Was this off the record now? "Be honest with me lieutenant, have you stopped taking your medication?"

"I've been rationing it, but I haven't stoped taking it altogether."

"And how often do you still take it?"

"Originally every other day. Now every two or three days. I'm running low."

"So how bad are your migraines?"

"Manageable."

"Tell me," She taps again. It's a subconcious tick, Kaidan knows. He fights back against his own to keep her from noticing anymore twitching. "Do you not complain out of a sense of guilt, or do you believe it's your burden to keep positive given our dire straits?"

"Shepard was always able to keep the crew confidant. Maybe not happy but certain that better times were coming."

"Are you trying to step into Shepard's shoes?"

"No. I just want to help." No one could ever meet Shepard's sterling example. Let along him. He had besmirched it once, Kaidan wasn't about to do it again. "I can't convince everyone that there will be an immediate way to resolve our current situation, but I can stay positive. Offer them a smile for every exhausting day. Even when no one else is smiling."

"And do you think that's been helping?"

"It's hard to tell."

"Sometimes we end up being resented when we try to act only out of positivity." Kaidan looks down at his hands. "Do you feel resented by the crew?"

She hit the nail on the head. It's not that he hasn't noticed the glares, or the heavy sighs. "Maybe some of them. Joker always complains when I smile. Some of the other crew roll their eyes the moment they see me when they come to get their meals. Garrus just doesn't talk to me anymore."

"Garrus is going through a personal period of adjustment."

"I know."

"I wouldn't take any of his actions personally right now."

"I'm trying not too."

"But that's difficult."

He attempts swallowing that lump in his throart. It refuses to budge. Speechless, the spectre looks away from the floor to the ceiling.

"It can't be helped." She sounds, disappointed. Guilt drags his shoulders down. He should be doing more. Seemlessly she switches topics. "Should we talk about the fact that you haven't met my eyes once, during this meeting instead?"

His eyes squint at the shelves he had been watching. "What do you mean?" He moves his gaze towards the floor.

"Let me rephrase that. Kaidan, can you look at me?" With a nod, his eyes graze over hers. "Why is it that you find it difficult?"

"I don't know."

"Is there something weighing on you? Perhaps it's something you find difficult to bring up?"

"No."

Silence fills the room. Chakwas holds it there, waiting on him. Kaidan lets it fill the space between them.

"Kaidan how has your implant felt lately?" Another nail.

"Fine."

"It hasn't been shaken up by the crash, or the blast?" Why was it getting so hot in here?

"It's fine."

"I can't help if you don't share."

He knows. That's how everything works. No one can help if they aren't given permission too. He just doesn't need help. Joker is the one who needs it. He wakes up crying out. Sometimes he asks where EDI is. Other times he's calling out for his sister or Garrus. Once he shouted Kaidan's name. The spectre pretended not to hear the traitor title, Joker had bestowed on him then. Old news.

Everything about him feels so old now. "Aside from the migraines being a little worse without consistent medication nothing's changed."

"Please let me know if it does."

"Will do."

Kaidan looks towards the door, waiting to be dismissed. "You can leave." As he opens the door, Chakwas calls out, "And please remember that you can find me here anytime you need to talk."

Of course. Who wouldn't seek out a trained psychologist when they felt down? "Thank you."

The ship is as cold as ever despite their power being back on. This planet's days were sweltering. Thankfully it's nights quickly cool everything back down.

Unfortunately, his room just happened to be the coldest thanks to the wall that's practically just a window. His door hums as it opens. Oh how he's missed electricity. Cooking was simple once again. Kaidan smiles as he steps into the dark room.

Inside, Joker was already laying down. The pilot snores gently. His noises become background noise as Kaidan goes about his usual motions. First he unstraps his armor while heading for the bar. Folding the gear into a neat pile, he sets them down on the curved couch directly to the right of Joker's. He unbuttons his shirt. Then rolls up his sleeves.

The cool air raises goosebumps along his arm. A sharp pain shoots through his mind. He rubs a hand gently over his implant. An old habit.

With a stern face he stares at the ghosts dancing behind him. "You two shouldn't be here."

"Take a seat LT." Ashely teasingly runs a hand along Shepard's chin. In the reflection of the window the pair move in sync. Completely enthralled in each other. Birds of a feather.

The phrase has been popping into his mind a lot lately. It feels more like a law of the universe rather then a saying. Garrus and Joker, two broken, lost souls had found each other at the start of their imprisoned time here. Tali was amongst similar minds with the engineers on the lower levels. Even James and Javik appeared to be working out at the same time, in the same places, even if not technically together.

Living beings always seek out those of a similar nature. Of course the dead would cling to each other as well. They're all just souls swimming in the ocean of existence. All of their hands struggling to keep them afloat. Just wishing for a raft to come along.

Kaidan sits on the window by his couch. His head falls back against the cold metal framing. It cradles his back. The window starts to fog against his body. Drawing all his heat out and spreading it around. Just as the military had done with his skills.

Refusing to go down that train of thought Kaidan looks over at Joker. The pilot snorts. His body jerks at the sudden noise. Carefully, Kaidan uses his biotics to form a wall against the outer lining of the couch. Joker's hand smacks against it once. Then he rolls around, snuggling against the side of the couch as much as he could while still on his back.

This planet's two moons give the room an ethereal glow. Gracefully the ghosts end their dance as they spin through Joker and his biotic field. Shepard spins expertly under Ashley's guided hand. When she lets her go, Shepard's sweats change into her armor as she lands sitting on the window at the end of Kaidan's feet.

Ashley gives a little bow. Shepard claps, and his head feels like it's filled with applause. With a snap of her fingers, Ashley takes off her armor, in favor of her standard clothes. Shepard leans with a sly grin on her face. She has a secret to share. One that dares her to come dangerously close to his ear.

"One of the symptoms of being an L3 is hallucinations." Shepard warns.

"I know that!" The words come out like a bark. Joker yelps as he jerks awake. Kaidan drops his shield. He didn't want Joker to take offense from his help. The pilot props himself up on his elbows.

With sleepy eyes, Joker glances around the room. It doesn't take long for his eyes to land on the biotic. "What was that Kaidan?" Green stares straight through Ashley's waist, and worse yet, Shepard's striking red hair.

Kaidan's words become tied around his tongue. Joker couldn't see them. Even half awake, the ghosts that were standing right between them, met nothing to Jeff. Feeling resigned, Kaidan leans his head back against the window. "I didn't say anything Joker."

"Uh huh. You alright?" He was doing a piss poor job convincing anybody of that. Still he takes another stab at it. Maybe this time he can convince himself.

When he opens his mouth, Ashley chimes back in. Her classic playful smirk now feels sinister."No matter how many times they ask they won't get an answer out of you, will they LT?"

"Yeah." Kaidan furrows his brows as Ashely stretches out on the other half of the window.

Shepard offers Kaidan a soft smile. "If you need help. You only have to ask." When he doesn't answer, Shepard sighs before joining her, laying against Ashely's chest.

"I'm fine."

"Clearly." All three voices say at once. How fitting it is for Joker's voice to join the ghosts. With how much he fades away every day, it's only a matter of time before he joins the greek chorus.

Thank you for reading! My goal is to update this story twice a week from now on, throughout the month of November. (Thank NaNoWriMo motivation.)

Also one of my university screenwriting scripts got chosen to be made into a short film, so I'm feeling good about my abilities, but I know I can always improve. Feel free to let me know how. Thank you all for your continued support, and wonderful comments.