My god, Max thought, sinking onto the sofa. You've got to be kidding me. Pushing her hair off of her face, she reread the letter in front of her, and couldn't process the words. I can't deal with this right now.

"Nothing major," Kenny called, coming back down. "Nate plowed one of those trucks into a big tower of . . . Max? You look like you're going to pass out."

"Um, yeah," she agreed, passing him the sheets. "Read this. It's from my mom."

Kenny wrapped one arm around her before turning his attention to what she had handed him. Shit, he thought, as her mother's words hit him, can't these people leave bad enough alone? Glancing back over at her, he noted her pale expression. "You know she's probably just trying to screw with you."

Max nodded slightly. "Probably. Even if it's true . . . shouldn't I be happy? I mean he's a monster. I would love not to be his . . . I can't deal with this now, after everything else."

"Ssh," Kenny whispered in her ear. "You don't have to, okay? It's not important anyway, at least if you don't want it to be. She's trying to mess with your head."

"What if it is true? And that's why he treated me so badly all of these years? Why he hated me, so much that . . ."

"Don't say it honey. He's insane, that's why he killed Josh. You know that."

Max nodded, settling her head on his shoulder. "I know. Then why aren't I overjoyed that he might not be my father?"

19191919191919

"The second victim is Chris Rowland, from Greenbay too," Skeeter confirmed. "We also found his car about 10 miles from his body, with a wallet inside."

Jimmy nodded. "That's a start at least. Any contact information with his family?"

Skeeter paused. "Yeah. He has an ex-wife in Greenbay, and Jimmy? This is where it starts to get weird again. And we flipped through his wallet, and found some interesting pictures."

Jimmy tried to ignore the trepidation building in his stomach, as Skeeter handed him the folded piece of leather slowly. I don't believe it, he thought, feeling eerily calm. Now? After all this time?

"Not a word to anybody. I mean it. Not until we know for sure," Jimmy ordered. "And get Carter for me. Now."

19191919191919

"There are ways to find out for sure," Kenny offered cautiously, as some of her shock began to wear off. "If he's not . . . do you have any clue who is?"

She shook her head. "No. I can't picture my Mom having an affair, but he had to have known. It explains a lot though. Why he hates me so much."

"Max."

"Why can't all of this stop? You know what I want? I want normal, calm and boring. Just for a little while. Why does something bad always have to happen?"

"Because you can handle it. A lot of people can't."

"What do you think I should do?"

Kenny regarded silently for a minute before replying. "You really want to know? Forget about it, at least for now. There's enough going on to deal with for now."

Max processed his blunt words. "Yeah . . . Why should I care anyway? I don't want anything to do with them. Just . . . the idea of it makes me feel different. If he's not . . . who am I?"

"I know who you are. You're a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, strong, stubborn, sexy woman, and I could go on like this all night."

Max ducked her head so he wouldn't see her blush. "That's quite a compliment."

"And it's all true . . . so what do you want to do?"

Max sighed, as he laid his hand on her burgeoning belly."I want to figure out what is going on with Samantha. She's been through so much, and I don't want her to start down a self destructive path before she really starts high school. I wish I knew what to say to make it better for her. Do you remember being that age? It was so awful and awkward, without having your entire life turned upside down."

"I remember . . . You know what she said about us not wanting her? Back in Boston? And the farm?"

"Yeah. What else can we do? We'll be spending some quality time together in the next few days."

"I'm off tomorrow, so why don't the three of us do something? Nate's at school until three, and Em is in preschool. Let her know she's part of this family?"

"That's the best idea I've heard all day."

19191919191919

"Do you still have Josh's DNA sample?" Jimmy demanded of Carter in lieu of greeting.

"What? It should still be in the refrigerator," Carter replied surprised. "I know I didn't throw it out after we decided not to do the test."

"I want it done now, and quietly. You're not talking to anyone about this Carter. We should have done it before he was put into the ground, but I didn't want to cause Kenny and Max any more suffering. Anyone could see it was Josh . . ."

"What changed?"

"Nothing that I can confirm until you get results from that test. How soon can you have it done?"

"I'll put a rush on it. It usually takes a couple of weeks, but I'll see what I can do."

19191919191919

"What are we doing here? Why can't I just watch television?" Samantha demanded. "This sucks. There isn't anything to do in this town."

Max gritted her teeth, and vowed not to lose her temper as she replied. "We thought you might like to get out for awhile."

"Is this my punishment for getting suspended?"

"No. If you would rather sit in your room for the next three days, we can have you do that instead," Kenny countered, "Maybe you should."

"There isn't anything to do in there either. No T.V., computer, or phone. I hate being poor."

"You're not poor," Kenny continued, not liking the girls attitude one bit.

"What would you like to do?" Max cut in. "If you were back in Boston what would you be doing? I know your mother wouldn't have let you smoke or make out with boys. So don't even try it."

"I wouldn't be sitting at some dumb miniature golf course. Mom let me go to all my favorite stores and let me charge everything that I wanted. And then my friends and me would go out to lunch, and ride the trains. Then we'd have parties, with boys. I want to go home, back to Boston. I'll stay with them."

"That isn't an option," Kenny interjected. "We're responsible for you, Samantha, and we both want you here."

"What about what I want? I want my Mom!"

"Oh, Sweetie, I wish she was still here too," Max replied quietly. "She should be."

"Why did she have to die? What was Grandma thinking?"

They exchanged a quick glance before Kenny spoke carefully. "We don't know. You know you can talk to us about it, or if you want . . . we can find a counselor or someone. But we're both here for you."

"You mean like a shrink? Some of my friends had one, and they said it was okay. But I don't want one."

"Okay."

"I'm scared," she whispered. "Everything is different now . . . I don't know anyone any more. I don't want to be bad. He said that he liked me, and he made me feel good. He made me stop thinking about Mom."

"You don't have to be scared," Max added gently. "No one here is going to hurt you. We want what is best for you, and I think that you're old enough to help determine that."

"You really want me here? I know I'm a brat sometimes."

"We really do," Kenny replied. "It's gonna take time, for all of us, to get this thing right."

"Can I go see my Dad sometime? I know he did bad things, but maybe when I'm older? Aunt Maxie? Are you going to see grandma and grandpa? Maybe then?"

Max swallowed at the thought of going to see them anytime soon. "Um, I don't know when I'm going, if ever. There is a lot of hurt there, but maybe sometime."

"Thank you."

Kenny squeezed his wife's hand before adding. "It's getting late . . . why don't we pick up Nate and Em?"

19191919191919

"I have the preliminary results," Carter declared, strolling into Jimmy's office. "The blood tests show that it is possible for the body to be Josh. And the prelim DNA results show it too. I won't know anything for sure until I get the results back in a few weeks. Why now Jimmy? He was buried months ago . . . what changed?"

Jimmy sighed. "There was a picture of Josh in Rowland's wallet. One that looked current, and so far it's held up under scrutiny. It's not doctored."

"You're saying that there is a chance that Josh is alive? Didn't you identify the body?"

"Yes."

"How then?"

"I don't know," Jimmy spat. "It looked like him, and Kenny and Max obviously thought it was. They were so devastated. Maybe we all didn't look close enough."

"Do they know?"

"No. We're not going to tell them unless we're sure. Not a word, Carter, I mean it."

Carter nodded in agreement. "They just seemed to have pulled things together. I mean with Emily, her sister's kids, the pregnancy . . . why add any more stress if we don't have too?"

19191919191919

"You look deep in thought," Max said with a smile, as she looked over at her husband, after the kids went to bed.

"Just thinking about some stuff."

"Oh?"

"You," he replied, studying her thoughtfully. What would I do without her? She still has that effect on me, even in her pajama pants, tank top, with her stomach poking out and her hair falling out of her ponytail. The hair she hasn't cut because she knows I like it this long. "The way that you charged into the Boston P.D. that night, and how incredibly brave you were during that last confrontation with your parents. I was a wreck worrying about you."

"You weren't the only one."

"The idea of raising Em alone . . . I don't that I could've stood it if anything had happened to you."

Max regarded him thoughtfully before replying. "Where exactly are you going with this?"

"What do you want to do about work? After the baby is born and stuff?"

"What do you mean?"

"C'mon Max, don't play dumb. We've got a house full of kids that need to be taken care of. And you seem to be enjoying it so far."

She stared at him for a minute, trying to gather her thoughts, shocked that he even asked her that. "What? You want me to quit? Just like that? You can't be serious."

"Max. We barely managed to have both of us work when it was just Josh and Em. Plus, we got Caro's trust to help with Samantha and Nate. We both don't need to work."

She shook her head, trying to process that Kenny of all people was asking her this. "Is that what you want? You want me barefoot and pregnant, cooking you dinner, cleaning, taking care of the kids . . . you want me to be a housewife? Are you crazy? Are you trying to make me crazy?"

"Honey."

She cut him off. "Kenny, I love being a wife and a mom. I really do. More then I ever thought I would. But I love my job, and it's something I worked hard at for over 10 years. It's part of me. I can't just give it up."

"So what is gonna happen next time you go off and get yourself into trouble? Or hurt? Is that fair to them?"

"I could ask you the same question," she retorted. "You don't think that I worry about you when you go to work?"

"It's more then that."

"Explain it to me then. There aren't any guarantees Kenny, and you can't just lock me away. Where is all of this coming from?"

"I really don't want to talk about this anymore, Max."

"Oh no. You brought this up. Tell me," she replied softly, as he paused and looked away. "Hey. Kenny, it's me. Talk to me."

He swallowed and glanced up at her, taking in her flushed face, framed by long red hair. His eyes traveled down her slim body, until he came to her bulging stomach, "Max, I . . . we buried Josh five months ago, and then I had to watch your lunatic father hold a gun to your head. I can't handle the idea of losing you too."

"You'll never lose me," she practically whispered, intertwining her hand with his. "Never."

"I don't want these kids to have to grow up without you, we took them in so that they could have a family. Not two work alcoholics, who are never home. They're going to need one of us around. Stability and all."

Max bit her tongue, and tired to swallow her resentment of even having this conversation. A housewife, full time Mom, cooking, cleaning, driving carpool…he's lost his mind. Does he know me at all? "Um, I need to sleep on this one. It's a lot to think about . . . I think I'll go take a shower or something. Ah, a good night."

19191919191919

"Anything new?" Jimmy asked Carter, knowing that Kenny left for patrol earlier that morning. "Carter?"

Carter sighed. "The blood types are an exact match at AB negative. Which isn't a common blood type to begin with. All we can do is wait Jimmy. If it wasn't Josh . . . what are you going to do? How do you even tell them something like that? I think that they're both finally moving past it."

Jimmy shook his head. "I can't even imagine where to begin. If it wasn't him, who was it then? And where is he?"

19191919191919

"Looking good," Jill confirmed, as Max flinched slightly at the coldness of the bulb running over her distended stomach. "Do you see that?"

"Uh, huh," Max replied, looking at the circular shape that Jill was pointing out. "Are you sure there is only one in there this time?"

"As sure as I can be," Jill retorted with a grin. "No surprises this time. Where is Kenny? I thought he'd want to be here for this."

Max paused before replying, and thought of how they had avoided each other for the past few days. "He's caught up in his investigation right now. So it's just me."

"I'm surprised," Jill trailed off, as Max looked away. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"That isn't too convincing."

Max groaned internally. "Well, I tried . . . it's just an adjustment we're going through. The soon to be four kids thing is kind of scary . . . and he wants me to be a full time wife and mother."

"I take it you don't want to do that."

"No, well maybe. I don't know if I can. He," Max trailed off. "I think we both have a lot to talk about."

"It sounds that way," Jill agreed. "You know that I'm here if you ever want to talk."

19191919191919

"Another one," Kenny asked, nodding toward the body in the morgue. "What was in his pocket?"

"Cantaloupe," Carter replied, pulling the sheet back. "Name is Garret Morris, from Etna. At least that's what his id said. His wife is on the way down to confirm it. Although she doesn't seem to broken up about it."

"Uh, huh," Kenny replied, as his gaze shifted to the blood samples and files on the desk. "Carter? What is that?"

"What? Oh," Carter trailed off. "That? Nothing."

"It's labeled Joshua Lacos Autopsy results and DNA," Kenny countered, feeling a pit forming in the bottom of his stomach. "That isn't nothing."

Shit, Carter thought, pulling the sheet back up. "We don't know if it's anything yet. And we didn't want to worry you guys if it was nothing."

"If what was nothing?"

"There was a picture in Chris Rowland's wallet, the coconut one, of Josh. Jimmy decided to run the DNA test that we put off . . . but there is no way. Right? It was him? Jimmy identified the body. I did the autopsy. It was him. We all know it."

Kenny sat back in shock, as he processed the incoming information slowly. "It was . . . why didn't anyone tell me? He's gone, Max and me know that . . . are you saying that there is a chance?"

"I don't know," Carter trailed off. "I ran the blood tests, and the blood I took is AB negative, like Josh's, so I'm waiting for the DNA results now. That's why we didn't want to say anything. Not until we knew. We didn't want you guys to suffer anymore."

"Why did this guy have a picture of Josh?"

19191919191919

Max rubbed her lower back, as she collapsed down on the couch after the kids finally went to bed. I'm so sore, she whined internally, flipping on the news. Stretching her legs out in front of her, she ran her hand over her pregnant stomach.

"How are you doing in there?" she asked aloud. "I'd really appreciate it if you would stop kicking me for awhile."

"Are you talking to yourself?"

"Hi," she replied, feeling a little shy all of the sudden. We haven't really talked in days, she thought. "You had a late shift."

"Yeah," Kenny agreed, joining her on the couch carefully. Nervous, he thought, and pissed at me. "You still mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you. Confused," Max trailed off, studying him thoughtfully. "Kenny? What's going on?"

"We've gotta talk about some stuff, and I don't think you're going to like it," he began. I shouldn't tell her, not until I know. No, she needs to know. "I didn't, and I still don't know what to think . . . It's unreal. I wasn't even sure if I should tell you, they didn't want to tell us. I don't want you to get upset."

"Tell me."

Kenny took her hand in his before replying, and relayed everything Carter told him in the morgue. "Then I went to see Jimmy. Shit, Max. After all of this time. It was him in the box, and we both know that. But, what if?"

"Why?" Max stumbled, feeling her heart leap into her throat. "How? If it wasn't Josh, and that's a big if, who was it? My Dad admitted to killing him, Kenny, and he's in prison for it. He wouldn't have, if he didn't have him killed. If it wasn't Josh . . . whose kid did they kill?"

"It's a lot of what ifs," Kenny added. "You okay?"

She nodded, gulping back her tears. "Do you think that there is a chance? What if the body we buried isn't his?"

"What if your father didn't know? Danny could have told him anything, and in his own twisted way he loved you. Maybe he couldn't . . . do that to you."

Max shook her head, as she gripped his hand in hers. "If he's alive . . . I can't even comprehend. If he's alive, where is he? And who the hell did we bury?"