Author: Alyssa_Anime_Angel
Inspirationalists/co-authors/beta readers: Youko, Alex, Fox and, Kael, Ruby and Talis.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of J. R. R. Tolkein's work, especially not Lord of the Rings, or any of the characters. However I do own the difference in personalities and names of the changes in characters though Lulu_Shinigami and Youko_Demon own the two nicknames, Azza and Bozza, which will be in later chapters.
Please don't sue or put pixistix up your nose!
Oh and I have mentioned several mixed alcoholic drinks in here, so don't take them the wrong way all the time, you'll know them when you see them.
Chapter 3 – The Long-expected Party
The vast starry sky was alight with bursting fireworks and the great field was filled with the sound of laughter and music.
Amongst the crowd of small people, one was obviously the star attraction. This little curly haired virgin was dancing to the music, "Oh Yeah, walk like an Egyptian."
While Frolo was attracting the attention of almost all the guys around, her best friend Sammy Gamgee, was spying on dear, dear Ross.
He was dancing as well, and almost as popular as Frolo, with his 'da da da da staying alive, staying alive'.
Belinda Baggins, the recipient of the party was smoozing (humoring them while desperately trying to get away) the relatives and trying desperately to sneak a Sea Cow to drown out their monotonous chatter of their dreary lives.
Frolo resigned from being a star, and joined Sammy, who was looking positively miserable, as Ross hadn't noticed her.
"Go on Sammy, ask Ross for a dance."
Sammy grunted then replied, "I think I'll just have another Bloody Caesar."
"Oh no you don't!" and with that last comment she pushed Sammy over to Ross, however along the way she tripped over another guys foot.
Frolo started to laugh and then she realized it was Rooster!
"Rooter, hmm I mean hey Rooster!" Frolo ran out and joined hands with the guy and started dirty dancing.
Sammy got up and stalked away going to down a few Creamy Screwdrivers, Orgasms, Prince Edwards and Kiss in the Dark's.
Another blast of fireworks lit the sky creating a contrast to the mood Belinda was trying to create. The old hobbit was sitting in front of several small children who looked hypnotized. Though it could have just been the alcohol they had been given earlier.
"So there I was, at the mercy of three monstrous trolls and they were arguing amongst themselves how they were going to cook us. Whether it be turned on a stick or if they should sit on us one by one, squash us to jelly. They spent so much time arguing whithertos and whyfors that the sun's first light crept over the trees, POOF, and turned them to stone. Then a mysterious stranger appeared. He stepped out from the shadows and his masculine body and long golden hair stopped my heart. He walked up to me and picked me up into his arms and bent down and…"
Luckily some one interrupter her before the minds of the small children were corrupted, "OH MY FAIR GYNX, WHERE ARE YOU!"
Gynx who was cracking herself up, heard the voice and quickly got a small box out of her cloak.
The he-hobbit walked up to her and she said, "Oh I have been looking for you, I have a present." She handed him the box and said, "Well open it."
The hobbit opened it and was suddenly sucked inside.
"Mhuhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…hmmm, need to get a life."
Two little she-hobbits sneakily emerged from behind a tent as Gynx walked away with the little box in her hands.
One was kinda dumb looking and the other had very poofy hair.
"Quickly," said the poofy haired one as she hauled the dumb one into the cart. PH is poofy hair and D is dumbo.
PH saw D pick up a small stick, "No, no the big one."
D grabbed it and they ran into a tent.
D set it alight and muttered, "Done."
"It should be in the ground."
"It is in the ground."
"OUTSIDE!"
"It was your idea!"
In a blast of smoke the tent was blasted into the air with the firework under its fabric.
The two hobbits were blown backwards and they looked up into the air to see a great flurry of lights. Their faces were completely covered in soot.
The light changed into looking like a dragon.
Fear burned in the hearts of the hobbits as they lacked any sort of mental reasoning when they saw the dragon.
They all ran from the light dragon and Frolo who also had quite a small brain grabbed onto Belinda and dragged her away, "Belinda, watch out for the dragon."
"Nonsense, there hasn't been a dragon in these parts for a thousand years."
Everyone fell to the ground as the "Dragon" swooped and they looked at it as it passed them and turned into nothingness.
Finally realizing there was no danger, and with no annoyance at being deceived they cheered, cheered for the wonderful view as their bodies were squashed by everyone else.
"That was good," said PH.
"Let's get another one."
They nodded at each other grinning but their hopes came crashing down as their ears were grabbed by some unseen foe from behind.
The tall witch squeezed hard and they looked up at the not so kindly looking face, "Maryaday Brandybuck *PH* and Priscilla Took *D*. I might have known, I really should have known, if that little toad hadn't bugged me and I been forced to confine him to my dungeon and then had a crisis of conscience."
The two little gals were muttering curses under their breath as they washed the mile high mountain of dishes. Chores they didn't mind, but not being able to fix their faces or hair, well that was just wrong!
Gynx giggled watching them while downing a Dirty Sink.
Cries called out all over the oval, "Speech."
"Speeeeech Beeelinnnnnda!"
"Speech!"
"Speech."
Belinda stood up and graced the crowd with a curtsy. Straightening she started to speak, "My Dear Bagginses and Boffins…Tooks and Bradybucks…Grubbs, Chubbs…Hornblowers…Bolgers…Bracegirdles…and proudfoots."
"Proudfeet," a voice called out from the audience.
Belinda waved it away, "Today is my hundred and eleventh birthday!"
"Happy Birthday."
Frolo's eyes glittered and her face glowed as she watched Belinda.
"But alas, one-eleven years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you as well as I'd like, and I like less than half of you, half as well as you deserve and I know that half among half of you deserve less than half to be taken out the back and shot."
"eh?"
"I uh…I have things to do."
Gynx watched curiously as Belinda pulled something out of her front right pocket and placed her hands behind her back.
"I've put this off for far too long."
Everyone looked up at the birthday girl in confusion and one little blue eyes hobbit in concern.
"I regret to announce this is the end! I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye."
Belinda waved her hand in the traditional Queenish wave before surprising everyone by disappearing. Nobody noticed that also a few seconds later, so did a piece of cake.
The shocked silence gave way to clamoring soon enough, and Gynx set her eyes in stone as she engaged in deep thought. It looked quite difficult.
ALYSSA: So how was that? I thought I outdid myself. Well Review and hope ta see ya all soon. I know it's taken a long time and LOTR TTT is out like the day after I post this chapter. Just don't hit me over the head with a mallet, like all the other reviewers do. Okay so I do actually give them the metal and gold mallets…but that is NOT the point.
I see I am hopping off track, I guess that's just the bunny in me. Well gotta go and make sure ya review.
Did I say that already?
Well then it must be really important! Hint hint *wink wink*