Dating for Dummies
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. NOT EVEN THE GUYS PERSONALITIES! They all came from the reviewers! So yay! Joss doesn't own *everything*! Woo hoo! Disclaimers are at the end. ^_~
Summary: Based on the book, Asking for Trouble written by Elizabeth Young. The personal ad idea was from Must Love Dogs, another book which was written by Claire Cook. Add a scene from "See Jane Date," and mix them together. . .What do you get? "Dating for Dummies." =)
A/N: First off, I'd like to clarify that I'm NOT trying to copy the movie, "See Jane Date." I'll admit to the fact that I'm trying to follow the storyline of a book called "Asking for trouble," by Elizabeth Young and some ideas from "Must Love Dogs" by Claire Cook , but not the storyline from "See Jane Date." Any coincidence to the movie are just that: coincidences. The naming of the dog being "Spike" is my idea, but the rest has come from those two books mentioned. *lets out looooong breath* Ok. I hope that's all cleared up. *sigh*
Thanks for the reviews! It took me a while to take everyone's ideas and glue them together. After all my arranging, I think I figured out how to do it. Thanks for the MUCH APPRECIATED ideas! OMG! You guys are sooooo creative and talented! OMG! Each and every one of your ideas were sooooo good and unique and I just couldn't wait to get to writing. So here's the finished product. I wrote this all late at night. . .So I hope you enjoy it. . .*bites lip*
To **Spike wuvs Buffy**: LOL I was cracking up when I read your review! It WOULD be funny if Spike's dog was named Buffy. Heheehe ^_^
Thanks for reading. . .Don't forget to review! ^_^ Purty please? (Side note: Dude, this is the longest chapter I've ever written, so I'm hoping to see some reviews. . . *wink*)
& * & * & * & * & * & * & * &
"Hurry up! You're gonna be late!" The red head tapped her watch.
"Alright! I'm coming, I'm coming," I panted, hopping on one foot as I tried to zip up my black, knee length boots.
"Come on, Buffy!" Willow rolled her eyes, "You were supposed to be there half an hour ago! This isn't a really good first impression-"
"Ok! I'm out!" I gasped, grabbing my purse from her outstretched hand, "Thanks!"
She gave me a thumbs up, "Good luck!" My best friend laughed and waved, "You're gonna have so much fun!"
Little did we know. . .That was going to be the last thing on my mind.
And so. . .my dating began.
& * & * & * & * &
--Monday 5:30 pm--
Running into the restaurant, I asked if any man had come in asking for me. The woman pointed towards the head of a man in a suit. I thanked the lady and headed over to the table with an embarrassed grin.
Noticing me walking towards him, he stood up and held out a hand.
"Hi, you must be Buffy," he smiled.
"Yes, that'll be me." I looked this guy over, from his sharp suit to his blue eyes. BLUE EYES!
This man could totally pass for Spike! And he looked like a lawyer too! How lucky I was!-
"I'm Lindsey," his smile melted and his face twisted in disgust. His eyes roamed over my short black skirt and boots, "What on *earth* are you wearing?"
& * & * & * & * &
--Tuesday 6:00 pm--
"A short, black mini-skirt and white, tight top with a low neckline. . .and a cute, lacy blouse over it too," Scott commented, delicately rubbing the fabric between his fingers, "It's absolutely gorgeous! Where'd you get it? It looks good on you."
& * & * & * & * &
--Wednesday 7:00 pm--
Parker slid closer to me in the McDonald's booth, laying a hand on my exposed thigh, "But I bet it'd look *much* better if it were. . .off." He wiggled his eyebrows.
He leaned his head towards my neck and his sweaty palm slowly ran up and under my skirt.
"Hey!" I yelled, shoving away his greasy hand.
& * & * & * & * &
--Thursday 7:30 pm--
Jonathan blushed and covered his eyes. "Sorry!" he squeaked.
"Huh?" I asked quizzically, laying a hand on his arm, "Is something wrong?"
He yelped, jumping when my hand connected with his skin, causing the glass of water to spill onto the carpet of his mom's house. "Oh no!" He gasped, shaking with panic as he bent down to retrieve the broken pieces of glass, "Oh no. . .Oh no. . .Mother won't be happy. Oh dear. . .If she finds out I broke this, I won't get to go to those knitting classes anymore. . .Oh no. . ."
I bent down and helped him. Jonathan squeaked, falling backwards and covering his eyes, yet again.
"Jonathan! What's the matter?" I asked worriedly, putting a hand to his forehead.
He replied with his hands still over his eyes, "Mother s-said. . .said I'm not supposed to look at women's. . ." he paused.
I frowned, "Women's. . .what. . .?"
"You know. . ." He gave me a look and I continued to frown.
He covered his eyes again and sighed, "Mommy says I can't look at women's. . ." his voice lowered down to a whisper, ". . .breasts."
My lips rounded into an 'o' as I finally understood what he said.
What he said next kind of disturbed me. . .
He widened some of his fingers and peeked through the creases. I swear, he was drooling. "I'm being a verrrrry bad boy. . ."
& * & * & * & * &
--Friday 11:30 pm--
"Really?" I asked, amusement evident in my voice. We were walking in the dark, through the park, and Andrew was currently flipping the collar of his black cape- yes, I said cape -over his ears, making him look like a suspicious figure. . .ok. . .not suspicious, more like *stupid* figure.
"Oh yeah!" He jumped up and hung onto a low branch, "I'm the big bad!" He swung back and forth. Letting go, he flipped in the air, falling non-too- gracefully on his butt. He fell into a heap behind me.
"Ouch. . ." he moaned, "I'm ok. . ."
& * & * & * & * &
--Monday 5:36 pm--
Lindsey's cell rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at it, hand poised to flip the phone open.
I stopped him, "Can't you just let it ring? I mean, we're on a date-"
"I'm not gonna just let it ring! This is important!" He snapped, slapping the phone against his ear, "Hello?. . .WHAT?!. . .No! He can't do that!. . .But the. . ." He droned on and on to the caller and I sighed, settling back into my seat while I chewed on the appetizer set on the table.
"Could I have more garlic bread, please?" I asked politely to a passing waitress.
& * & * & * & * &
--Tuesday 6:15 pm--
"Ooh. . .Yum," Scott complimented as our food was set sizzling before us.
I nodded, "Yum is right. I love Mexican food-" I stopped when I looked up at him. . .looking at someone else.
He hadn't complimented the food, he had complimented the waiter who had just served our plates and was now swaying his hips as he walked away.
"Oh my God. . .You're gay," I whispered, slowly realizing why he had complimented so much on my clothes.
& * & * & * & * &
--Wednesday 7:01 pm (Only one minute passed. . .I was *not* enjoying this date.)--
"*Please* tell me you're gay. . ." I muttered, as I scooted away from Parker's roaming hands.
He laughed.
His laugh was an irritating sound to my ears. How do you describe it? It was like. . .a hyena's. . .yeah, that's it. . .like a hyena.
He put an arm around the back of my seat and wormed his palm to my shoulder, pulling me impossibly close to his chest. "You're funny," he commented, fingering a pack of ketchup between his hands. He slid two packets into his pocket and I gave him a look.
"What?" He asked innocently, slipping a couple of straws and sweet n' lows into his jeans.
& * & * & * & * &
--Thursday 7:52--
"Mom wouldn't approve of this. . ." Jonathan shakily said.
"Approve of what?" I asked, taking another bite of Mac n' cheese that his mother had prepared for us to eat.
He glanced at his watch that had pictures of 'Spiderman' on its band. Squinting at the digital number, he answered, "I-it's getting late-"
"Jonathan!"
He looked towards his mother's closed door and called out, "Yes, mom?"
"It's getting close to your bedtime! No more playing-"
"But mom!" Jonathan whined.
"Say *goodnight*!" His mother boomed.
The brunette across of me pouted and sighed, "Goodnight." He lead me to the door and I waved goodbye.
& * & * & * & * &
--Friday 11:46 pm--
"Well. . .That was interesting," I laughed while Andrew continued to limp beside me.
"It's not funny," he pouted.
I put my hands up in mock defense, "Hey, I wasn't the one who wanted to see if he could fly by jumping off that concrete wall. . ."
He sighed and sat himself on a bench.
"You ok?" I asked, sitting next to him.
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and snuggled closer to me, "I am now."
& * & * & * & * &
--Monday 5:54 pm--
"Hello? H-hello? HELLO?!?!" Lindsey yelled into his phone. He cursed and shut his phone, "Damn! I lost him!" He sighed and glanced at his spoon. Noticing an invisible, dirty spot, he began to scrub at it with his napkin that he retrieved from his own pocket.
"This is disgusting, I can't use this," he threw it on the table and picked up my spoon. Gazing into it, he fixed his hair and smiled into the spoon, kissing his reflection, "Hello, handsome." Frowning he looked up at the lights, "Why is it so dim in here? I can't see myself!"
I rolled my eyes. What an arrogant freak. Emphasis on the *freak*.
"Are you ready to eat now?" I asked jokingly, although, deep inside I was angry with his priorities at the moment.
He glared at me, "I'd be ready to *eat* now if I had my FOOD! Where's my food?!" He asked me then grabbed a nearby waitress, "Where's my food? I'm hungry!"
Wow. Correction: He was a PMS-ing, arrogant freak.
"SO? WHERE IS MY FOOD?!" He shouted in her face.
"Lindsey, calm down and sit-"
"Shut up, Buffy," my eyes widened angrily at his words.
"WELL?" He asked, turning back to the waitress.
"I- we're. . .it's c-coming s-sir. . .j-just-" The waitress stuttered as his grip on her arm tightened.
"Just- Just- Just," Lindsey mimicked in a mocking tone.
She finally wiggled out of his grip and ran to the kitchen, quickly returning with his plate of food.
"Finally. Service around here is *so* slow," he took a bite out of his food and his nostrils flared as he spit the food out.
"This is SPICY!" He complained.
The waitress backed away and explained, "Well. . .y-you d-did ask- ask f- for. . ."
He put a hand behind his ear, "What? Huh? I can't hear you," he shook his head, "Are you stupid?! You have the *one* job that takes the least amount of brains. . .and somehow, you manage to screw it up!"
My temper flared. That's it. He had *no* right to treat this girl that way.
I pushed my seat back and stood up. Walking around the table to the shouting man, I slapped him straight across the face, "Shut up, Lindsey." I spat, "You can't treat people like that. And you're wrong. Being a waitress is a *lot* of hard work, you ass. I'm one myself."
Lindsey snorted, "Sorry. I guess I couldn't tell. . .You know. . . With all the slutty kind of clothes you're wearing."
I laughed humorlessly, "Oh. . .You're gonna regret that."
He chuckled, "Oh really- OW!"
I punched him. Right smack dab in the middle of his nose. Granted, I had never punched anyone, but considering that his nose was bleeding, I took that as a good sign.
He fell backwards and landed on his back.
I sighed with mock sympathy, "Oh dear!" I picked up a glass from our table, "It looks like you're gonna need a little ice on that."
I took the cup and tipped it over, slowly letting the cold water cascade over his face then shook out the ice cubes, letting them bounce painfully across his nose.
"Thanks," the girl offered me a small smile.
"Don't mention it. Just don't let guys walk all over you like that. I mean, it's ok to let small things slide, but that. . ." I pointed at the groaning man on the floor, "deserved a confronting."
She nodded and I threw a couple bills on the table, "The twenty dollar change is your tip," I winked and walked away, not noticing the same brunette who I had ran into, sitting at his booth, grinning proudly at my earlier actions.
& * & * & * & * &
--Tuesday 6:37 pm--
"Mmm. . ."Scott moaned.
I sipped my coke, "Are you staring at the waiter again?" I muttered with no amusement. He had been staring at him on and off for the past ten minutes. It was getting on my nerves, but I finally accepted the fact that he truly was gay, just not too keen on admitting it. Poor guy. . .
He nodded but then caught himself. "No," he squeaked, then went back to digging in his beans.
"Right."
& * & * & * & * &
--Friday 12:00 pm--
"So. . .Why did you insist on having our date at so late a time?" I asked curiously.
We were walking hand in hand down the street and Andrew grinned wickedly, "Because. . .I like to take strolls under the moonlight."
I nodded, "Oh. . ."
Just then, he leaned into me and nuzzled my neck.
"Um. . .ok." I frowned, thinking that this didn't feel right. He sucked on my flesh and we stopped walking. I was enjoying the feeling until a sharp pain shot through my body.
"Ouch!"
Andrew backed away, "Oops-"
I stared at him in shock, "Did. . .Did you just. . .*bite* me?"
Andrew nodded, "Yes, because I'm a vampire!" He clutched the ends of his cape and danced on the road. "Grr! Beware, innocent town of Sunnydale! I will suck your blood!" He twirled around in circles and growled.
I put a hand onto my neck and ran away home.
What a weirdo!
& * & * & * & * &
--Satuday 2:24 pm--
I flopped onto my couch and laid a hand on my forehead, "Willow, I am *never* doing that again."
Willow looked up at me from her laptop and laughed, "You're overeacting."
I shook my head, "No *way* am I overeacting."
Xander came into the room with a bag of chips and a liter of Sprite.
"Well, good morning, brother," Willow rolled her eyes, "Thanks for gracing us with your presence on this fine afternoon dear, dear brother," She smiled in false sweetness.
Xander grinned, pieces of chips plastered onto his teeth, "Good afternoon to you too, ladies." He hung his legs over the arms of the couch and frowned, "Wait, what's with all the 'brother' name calling?"
Willow shrugged and typed on her computer, "Oh. . .Buffy needed a date for the wedding-"
"Willow!" I threw a pillow at her, "I am *not* asking Xander to be Spike!"
Xander tilted his head to the side, stuffing more chips into his mouth, "Whoosh Shpike?"
"Buffy's made up boyfriend," Willow answered.
He coughed and stared at me, "You made up a boyfriend? HA!" He started to laugh a choke at the same time, "That was smart of you."
"I know, ok?" I ran hand through my hair, "And no offence, but I'm *not* asking you."
Xander pouted, "Why not? Am I not good looking enough?" He ran a hand down his chest to make him look desirable and I laughed at his antics.
I giggled, "Although you're good-looking and everything-"
"Of course I am!" Xander cheered.
I rolled my eyes and continued, "But my mom already knows you. It wouldn't work."
Xander nodded and unscrewed the cap of his Sprite, "That sucks." He tilted his head back to let the liquid run down his throat.
"Yeah, it does." I muttered, resting my head in my arms, "I can't do anything now. . ."
Willow stood up and smiled, turning her computer screen to face us, "Well. . .There is *one* more thing."
She grinned and Xander and I looked at the screen at the same time.
Xander's eyes widened and the bottle slipped from his hands as he spat pop like a fountain onto the wall.
"WHAT?!"
"Just try it, Buffy!"
"NO WAY!"
"Oh come on! It's a full proof plan, I tell you!" Willow tried to persuade me.
"Wills, I am *NOT* hiring a male escort!" I waved my hands in the air.
Xander thought a moment, "Isn't that like. . ." he tried to choose his words carefully but shrugged, "A man whore?"
"NO!"
"YES!"
Willow and I shouted.
"I'm calling," Willow stated, heading for the phone.
I was gonna have a boyfriend by the end of the week?
Psh.
Whatever. . .
& * & * & * & * & * & * &
A/N: Hm. . .I *wonder* who that male escort is gonna be. . .? LoL You probably all know, but oh well! *giggles*
To Imzadi: Sorry I made Lindsey all evil in this story. I'm sooo sorry! Hope you forgive me! *hides under blankets*
To Ultrawoman: Thanks for the idea on the "Perfectionist guy" who complains about everything, the "Childish guy" who's obsessed with mommy, and for the "crazy vamp guy". OMG! That was hilarious! When I got down to writing it though, I had no idea how to put it into writing. So sorry if it didn't turn out as good as you imagined. *pout* I tried. . .*sniffles*
To Twisty-Treat: Thanks for the idea of the "Klepto guy." I really liked the idea! That idea never even crossed my mind! ^_^
To Weeza: Thanks for suggesting the "Childish guy," and for the "Pervert guy," and for the "Arrogant guy" who yells at the waitress. I used your quote by the way! LoL It was so good, I just HAD to use it. You're very creative! *wink*
To SpIkEs AnGeL: Thanks for suggesting the "Gay guy," and "Ego man," who checks himself in the spoon. I HAD to use that. LoL The scene with Scott wasn't how I really envisioned it, but I hope you approve! *crosses fingers*
To aphelant: *snaps fingers* I didn't manage to add that Parker was a total slob. . .but I did get to use your hyena laugh! Thanks a bunch! It made me feel good to write Parker as a poopy kind of person. . .LoL
And finally, to Kay: Thanks for the idea of Scott as the "Gay guy." I had a really good idea on how to write him, but it just didn't turn out the way I wanted. *massages temples* That's what I hate about my writing. I just can't seem to get it on paper. . .er. . .on the computer, like the way I want it. Hmph. *pout* It makes me so mad. *sniffles* LoL
I'm sorry if I used your idea and I didn't thank you! SOOO VERY SORRY IF I MISSED YOU! Just yell at me, scream at me, do something! I don't want to be using someone else's idea and not give them credit, so please, don't be shy and just say, "You used my idea but didn't mention me!" Oki doki? lol Please forgive me if I missed you, I didn't intend to. =(
Again, THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! See how you guys totally motivated and inspired me?
And now. . .Will there be Spuffy love to come in the next chapter? *shrug* Who knows. . .?
Please be kind an review. =) I'd reeeally reeeeally reeeeeeeally like to know what you think of this chapter. Should I rewrite it or should I just post the next chapter already? I hope I didn't confuse anyone! LoL If I did, I'm sooo sorry! I'll try to make it easier in the future. . .PLEASE REVIEW! ^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. NOT EVEN THE GUYS PERSONALITIES! They all came from the reviewers! So yay! Joss doesn't own *everything*! Woo hoo! Disclaimers are at the end. ^_~
Summary: Based on the book, Asking for Trouble written by Elizabeth Young. The personal ad idea was from Must Love Dogs, another book which was written by Claire Cook. Add a scene from "See Jane Date," and mix them together. . .What do you get? "Dating for Dummies." =)
A/N: First off, I'd like to clarify that I'm NOT trying to copy the movie, "See Jane Date." I'll admit to the fact that I'm trying to follow the storyline of a book called "Asking for trouble," by Elizabeth Young and some ideas from "Must Love Dogs" by Claire Cook , but not the storyline from "See Jane Date." Any coincidence to the movie are just that: coincidences. The naming of the dog being "Spike" is my idea, but the rest has come from those two books mentioned. *lets out looooong breath* Ok. I hope that's all cleared up. *sigh*
Thanks for the reviews! It took me a while to take everyone's ideas and glue them together. After all my arranging, I think I figured out how to do it. Thanks for the MUCH APPRECIATED ideas! OMG! You guys are sooooo creative and talented! OMG! Each and every one of your ideas were sooooo good and unique and I just couldn't wait to get to writing. So here's the finished product. I wrote this all late at night. . .So I hope you enjoy it. . .*bites lip*
To **Spike wuvs Buffy**: LOL I was cracking up when I read your review! It WOULD be funny if Spike's dog was named Buffy. Heheehe ^_^
Thanks for reading. . .Don't forget to review! ^_^ Purty please? (Side note: Dude, this is the longest chapter I've ever written, so I'm hoping to see some reviews. . . *wink*)
& * & * & * & * & * & * & * &
"Hurry up! You're gonna be late!" The red head tapped her watch.
"Alright! I'm coming, I'm coming," I panted, hopping on one foot as I tried to zip up my black, knee length boots.
"Come on, Buffy!" Willow rolled her eyes, "You were supposed to be there half an hour ago! This isn't a really good first impression-"
"Ok! I'm out!" I gasped, grabbing my purse from her outstretched hand, "Thanks!"
She gave me a thumbs up, "Good luck!" My best friend laughed and waved, "You're gonna have so much fun!"
Little did we know. . .That was going to be the last thing on my mind.
And so. . .my dating began.
& * & * & * & * &
--Monday 5:30 pm--
Running into the restaurant, I asked if any man had come in asking for me. The woman pointed towards the head of a man in a suit. I thanked the lady and headed over to the table with an embarrassed grin.
Noticing me walking towards him, he stood up and held out a hand.
"Hi, you must be Buffy," he smiled.
"Yes, that'll be me." I looked this guy over, from his sharp suit to his blue eyes. BLUE EYES!
This man could totally pass for Spike! And he looked like a lawyer too! How lucky I was!-
"I'm Lindsey," his smile melted and his face twisted in disgust. His eyes roamed over my short black skirt and boots, "What on *earth* are you wearing?"
& * & * & * & * &
--Tuesday 6:00 pm--
"A short, black mini-skirt and white, tight top with a low neckline. . .and a cute, lacy blouse over it too," Scott commented, delicately rubbing the fabric between his fingers, "It's absolutely gorgeous! Where'd you get it? It looks good on you."
& * & * & * & * &
--Wednesday 7:00 pm--
Parker slid closer to me in the McDonald's booth, laying a hand on my exposed thigh, "But I bet it'd look *much* better if it were. . .off." He wiggled his eyebrows.
He leaned his head towards my neck and his sweaty palm slowly ran up and under my skirt.
"Hey!" I yelled, shoving away his greasy hand.
& * & * & * & * &
--Thursday 7:30 pm--
Jonathan blushed and covered his eyes. "Sorry!" he squeaked.
"Huh?" I asked quizzically, laying a hand on his arm, "Is something wrong?"
He yelped, jumping when my hand connected with his skin, causing the glass of water to spill onto the carpet of his mom's house. "Oh no!" He gasped, shaking with panic as he bent down to retrieve the broken pieces of glass, "Oh no. . .Oh no. . .Mother won't be happy. Oh dear. . .If she finds out I broke this, I won't get to go to those knitting classes anymore. . .Oh no. . ."
I bent down and helped him. Jonathan squeaked, falling backwards and covering his eyes, yet again.
"Jonathan! What's the matter?" I asked worriedly, putting a hand to his forehead.
He replied with his hands still over his eyes, "Mother s-said. . .said I'm not supposed to look at women's. . ." he paused.
I frowned, "Women's. . .what. . .?"
"You know. . ." He gave me a look and I continued to frown.
He covered his eyes again and sighed, "Mommy says I can't look at women's. . ." his voice lowered down to a whisper, ". . .breasts."
My lips rounded into an 'o' as I finally understood what he said.
What he said next kind of disturbed me. . .
He widened some of his fingers and peeked through the creases. I swear, he was drooling. "I'm being a verrrrry bad boy. . ."
& * & * & * & * &
--Friday 11:30 pm--
"Really?" I asked, amusement evident in my voice. We were walking in the dark, through the park, and Andrew was currently flipping the collar of his black cape- yes, I said cape -over his ears, making him look like a suspicious figure. . .ok. . .not suspicious, more like *stupid* figure.
"Oh yeah!" He jumped up and hung onto a low branch, "I'm the big bad!" He swung back and forth. Letting go, he flipped in the air, falling non-too- gracefully on his butt. He fell into a heap behind me.
"Ouch. . ." he moaned, "I'm ok. . ."
& * & * & * & * &
--Monday 5:36 pm--
Lindsey's cell rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at it, hand poised to flip the phone open.
I stopped him, "Can't you just let it ring? I mean, we're on a date-"
"I'm not gonna just let it ring! This is important!" He snapped, slapping the phone against his ear, "Hello?. . .WHAT?!. . .No! He can't do that!. . .But the. . ." He droned on and on to the caller and I sighed, settling back into my seat while I chewed on the appetizer set on the table.
"Could I have more garlic bread, please?" I asked politely to a passing waitress.
& * & * & * & * &
--Tuesday 6:15 pm--
"Ooh. . .Yum," Scott complimented as our food was set sizzling before us.
I nodded, "Yum is right. I love Mexican food-" I stopped when I looked up at him. . .looking at someone else.
He hadn't complimented the food, he had complimented the waiter who had just served our plates and was now swaying his hips as he walked away.
"Oh my God. . .You're gay," I whispered, slowly realizing why he had complimented so much on my clothes.
& * & * & * & * &
--Wednesday 7:01 pm (Only one minute passed. . .I was *not* enjoying this date.)--
"*Please* tell me you're gay. . ." I muttered, as I scooted away from Parker's roaming hands.
He laughed.
His laugh was an irritating sound to my ears. How do you describe it? It was like. . .a hyena's. . .yeah, that's it. . .like a hyena.
He put an arm around the back of my seat and wormed his palm to my shoulder, pulling me impossibly close to his chest. "You're funny," he commented, fingering a pack of ketchup between his hands. He slid two packets into his pocket and I gave him a look.
"What?" He asked innocently, slipping a couple of straws and sweet n' lows into his jeans.
& * & * & * & * &
--Thursday 7:52--
"Mom wouldn't approve of this. . ." Jonathan shakily said.
"Approve of what?" I asked, taking another bite of Mac n' cheese that his mother had prepared for us to eat.
He glanced at his watch that had pictures of 'Spiderman' on its band. Squinting at the digital number, he answered, "I-it's getting late-"
"Jonathan!"
He looked towards his mother's closed door and called out, "Yes, mom?"
"It's getting close to your bedtime! No more playing-"
"But mom!" Jonathan whined.
"Say *goodnight*!" His mother boomed.
The brunette across of me pouted and sighed, "Goodnight." He lead me to the door and I waved goodbye.
& * & * & * & * &
--Friday 11:46 pm--
"Well. . .That was interesting," I laughed while Andrew continued to limp beside me.
"It's not funny," he pouted.
I put my hands up in mock defense, "Hey, I wasn't the one who wanted to see if he could fly by jumping off that concrete wall. . ."
He sighed and sat himself on a bench.
"You ok?" I asked, sitting next to him.
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and snuggled closer to me, "I am now."
& * & * & * & * &
--Monday 5:54 pm--
"Hello? H-hello? HELLO?!?!" Lindsey yelled into his phone. He cursed and shut his phone, "Damn! I lost him!" He sighed and glanced at his spoon. Noticing an invisible, dirty spot, he began to scrub at it with his napkin that he retrieved from his own pocket.
"This is disgusting, I can't use this," he threw it on the table and picked up my spoon. Gazing into it, he fixed his hair and smiled into the spoon, kissing his reflection, "Hello, handsome." Frowning he looked up at the lights, "Why is it so dim in here? I can't see myself!"
I rolled my eyes. What an arrogant freak. Emphasis on the *freak*.
"Are you ready to eat now?" I asked jokingly, although, deep inside I was angry with his priorities at the moment.
He glared at me, "I'd be ready to *eat* now if I had my FOOD! Where's my food?!" He asked me then grabbed a nearby waitress, "Where's my food? I'm hungry!"
Wow. Correction: He was a PMS-ing, arrogant freak.
"SO? WHERE IS MY FOOD?!" He shouted in her face.
"Lindsey, calm down and sit-"
"Shut up, Buffy," my eyes widened angrily at his words.
"WELL?" He asked, turning back to the waitress.
"I- we're. . .it's c-coming s-sir. . .j-just-" The waitress stuttered as his grip on her arm tightened.
"Just- Just- Just," Lindsey mimicked in a mocking tone.
She finally wiggled out of his grip and ran to the kitchen, quickly returning with his plate of food.
"Finally. Service around here is *so* slow," he took a bite out of his food and his nostrils flared as he spit the food out.
"This is SPICY!" He complained.
The waitress backed away and explained, "Well. . .y-you d-did ask- ask f- for. . ."
He put a hand behind his ear, "What? Huh? I can't hear you," he shook his head, "Are you stupid?! You have the *one* job that takes the least amount of brains. . .and somehow, you manage to screw it up!"
My temper flared. That's it. He had *no* right to treat this girl that way.
I pushed my seat back and stood up. Walking around the table to the shouting man, I slapped him straight across the face, "Shut up, Lindsey." I spat, "You can't treat people like that. And you're wrong. Being a waitress is a *lot* of hard work, you ass. I'm one myself."
Lindsey snorted, "Sorry. I guess I couldn't tell. . .You know. . . With all the slutty kind of clothes you're wearing."
I laughed humorlessly, "Oh. . .You're gonna regret that."
He chuckled, "Oh really- OW!"
I punched him. Right smack dab in the middle of his nose. Granted, I had never punched anyone, but considering that his nose was bleeding, I took that as a good sign.
He fell backwards and landed on his back.
I sighed with mock sympathy, "Oh dear!" I picked up a glass from our table, "It looks like you're gonna need a little ice on that."
I took the cup and tipped it over, slowly letting the cold water cascade over his face then shook out the ice cubes, letting them bounce painfully across his nose.
"Thanks," the girl offered me a small smile.
"Don't mention it. Just don't let guys walk all over you like that. I mean, it's ok to let small things slide, but that. . ." I pointed at the groaning man on the floor, "deserved a confronting."
She nodded and I threw a couple bills on the table, "The twenty dollar change is your tip," I winked and walked away, not noticing the same brunette who I had ran into, sitting at his booth, grinning proudly at my earlier actions.
& * & * & * & * &
--Tuesday 6:37 pm--
"Mmm. . ."Scott moaned.
I sipped my coke, "Are you staring at the waiter again?" I muttered with no amusement. He had been staring at him on and off for the past ten minutes. It was getting on my nerves, but I finally accepted the fact that he truly was gay, just not too keen on admitting it. Poor guy. . .
He nodded but then caught himself. "No," he squeaked, then went back to digging in his beans.
"Right."
& * & * & * & * &
--Friday 12:00 pm--
"So. . .Why did you insist on having our date at so late a time?" I asked curiously.
We were walking hand in hand down the street and Andrew grinned wickedly, "Because. . .I like to take strolls under the moonlight."
I nodded, "Oh. . ."
Just then, he leaned into me and nuzzled my neck.
"Um. . .ok." I frowned, thinking that this didn't feel right. He sucked on my flesh and we stopped walking. I was enjoying the feeling until a sharp pain shot through my body.
"Ouch!"
Andrew backed away, "Oops-"
I stared at him in shock, "Did. . .Did you just. . .*bite* me?"
Andrew nodded, "Yes, because I'm a vampire!" He clutched the ends of his cape and danced on the road. "Grr! Beware, innocent town of Sunnydale! I will suck your blood!" He twirled around in circles and growled.
I put a hand onto my neck and ran away home.
What a weirdo!
& * & * & * & * &
--Satuday 2:24 pm--
I flopped onto my couch and laid a hand on my forehead, "Willow, I am *never* doing that again."
Willow looked up at me from her laptop and laughed, "You're overeacting."
I shook my head, "No *way* am I overeacting."
Xander came into the room with a bag of chips and a liter of Sprite.
"Well, good morning, brother," Willow rolled her eyes, "Thanks for gracing us with your presence on this fine afternoon dear, dear brother," She smiled in false sweetness.
Xander grinned, pieces of chips plastered onto his teeth, "Good afternoon to you too, ladies." He hung his legs over the arms of the couch and frowned, "Wait, what's with all the 'brother' name calling?"
Willow shrugged and typed on her computer, "Oh. . .Buffy needed a date for the wedding-"
"Willow!" I threw a pillow at her, "I am *not* asking Xander to be Spike!"
Xander tilted his head to the side, stuffing more chips into his mouth, "Whoosh Shpike?"
"Buffy's made up boyfriend," Willow answered.
He coughed and stared at me, "You made up a boyfriend? HA!" He started to laugh a choke at the same time, "That was smart of you."
"I know, ok?" I ran hand through my hair, "And no offence, but I'm *not* asking you."
Xander pouted, "Why not? Am I not good looking enough?" He ran a hand down his chest to make him look desirable and I laughed at his antics.
I giggled, "Although you're good-looking and everything-"
"Of course I am!" Xander cheered.
I rolled my eyes and continued, "But my mom already knows you. It wouldn't work."
Xander nodded and unscrewed the cap of his Sprite, "That sucks." He tilted his head back to let the liquid run down his throat.
"Yeah, it does." I muttered, resting my head in my arms, "I can't do anything now. . ."
Willow stood up and smiled, turning her computer screen to face us, "Well. . .There is *one* more thing."
She grinned and Xander and I looked at the screen at the same time.
Xander's eyes widened and the bottle slipped from his hands as he spat pop like a fountain onto the wall.
"WHAT?!"
"Just try it, Buffy!"
"NO WAY!"
"Oh come on! It's a full proof plan, I tell you!" Willow tried to persuade me.
"Wills, I am *NOT* hiring a male escort!" I waved my hands in the air.
Xander thought a moment, "Isn't that like. . ." he tried to choose his words carefully but shrugged, "A man whore?"
"NO!"
"YES!"
Willow and I shouted.
"I'm calling," Willow stated, heading for the phone.
I was gonna have a boyfriend by the end of the week?
Psh.
Whatever. . .
& * & * & * & * & * & * &
A/N: Hm. . .I *wonder* who that male escort is gonna be. . .? LoL You probably all know, but oh well! *giggles*
To Imzadi: Sorry I made Lindsey all evil in this story. I'm sooo sorry! Hope you forgive me! *hides under blankets*
To Ultrawoman: Thanks for the idea on the "Perfectionist guy" who complains about everything, the "Childish guy" who's obsessed with mommy, and for the "crazy vamp guy". OMG! That was hilarious! When I got down to writing it though, I had no idea how to put it into writing. So sorry if it didn't turn out as good as you imagined. *pout* I tried. . .*sniffles*
To Twisty-Treat: Thanks for the idea of the "Klepto guy." I really liked the idea! That idea never even crossed my mind! ^_^
To Weeza: Thanks for suggesting the "Childish guy," and for the "Pervert guy," and for the "Arrogant guy" who yells at the waitress. I used your quote by the way! LoL It was so good, I just HAD to use it. You're very creative! *wink*
To SpIkEs AnGeL: Thanks for suggesting the "Gay guy," and "Ego man," who checks himself in the spoon. I HAD to use that. LoL The scene with Scott wasn't how I really envisioned it, but I hope you approve! *crosses fingers*
To aphelant: *snaps fingers* I didn't manage to add that Parker was a total slob. . .but I did get to use your hyena laugh! Thanks a bunch! It made me feel good to write Parker as a poopy kind of person. . .LoL
And finally, to Kay: Thanks for the idea of Scott as the "Gay guy." I had a really good idea on how to write him, but it just didn't turn out the way I wanted. *massages temples* That's what I hate about my writing. I just can't seem to get it on paper. . .er. . .on the computer, like the way I want it. Hmph. *pout* It makes me so mad. *sniffles* LoL
I'm sorry if I used your idea and I didn't thank you! SOOO VERY SORRY IF I MISSED YOU! Just yell at me, scream at me, do something! I don't want to be using someone else's idea and not give them credit, so please, don't be shy and just say, "You used my idea but didn't mention me!" Oki doki? lol Please forgive me if I missed you, I didn't intend to. =(
Again, THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! See how you guys totally motivated and inspired me?
And now. . .Will there be Spuffy love to come in the next chapter? *shrug* Who knows. . .?
Please be kind an review. =) I'd reeeally reeeeally reeeeeeeally like to know what you think of this chapter. Should I rewrite it or should I just post the next chapter already? I hope I didn't confuse anyone! LoL If I did, I'm sooo sorry! I'll try to make it easier in the future. . .PLEASE REVIEW! ^_^