Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun. Blah.

A/N: Okay, now let's see… Ah, yes. The plot starts here! That is all… Oh, and I now realize I was spelling "Kaite" wrong… I was spelling it "Kite". That shall be fixed here!

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GTE: Great Teacher Ericks!

Chapter 5: N.D.B

"Hey, Kaite… What happened to your name?…" Vash asked one morning.

"Hm?" Kaite asked.

"It has an 'a' in it now on my attendance sheet…"

"Oh, there was a spelling mistake, and I had it corrected yesterday morning."

"Ah, I see…"

The rest of the class walked in, and they all settled in.

"Class! New students today!"

Two people walked in. A girl and a boy. The girl had perfect looking, long golden hair. Her uniform looked like it was made for her. Her eyes seemed unique, and were an emerald green. Her face was smooth, and devoid of any marks. Her smile was also perfect.

Vash pointed to the girl. "This is Mary Sue!"

The boy was tall, with hair as golden as the girls. His eyes were a beautiful green. The uniform accented him, despite his clashing golden hair. His skin was scarless, and his smile made all the girls melt.

Vash pointed to the boy. "And this is her twin brother, Gary Stu!" He scratched his head. "Now where have I heard those names before?…"

Both twins said perfectly in unison. "Hello! It's nice to meet you!"

Kaite and Sayuri stared at the twins, then each other. Kaite spoke up first, in a monotone voice. "Strange… I can't help but be attracted to Mary Sue, despite the fact I'm in love with you, Sayuri…"

Sayuri followed suit. "And I'm not ready for a relationship, but I can't help but want to marry Gary Stu…"

"Interesting…" Vash muttered. "Please have a seat, Mary and Gary!"

They did, as they gave off a mysterious aura.

"Now, how about telling us about yourselves?" Vash asked.

Mary stood up. "I am a blackbelt in all known forms of martial arts, can shoot as good as Vash the Stampede, and I'm the daughter of Legato Bluesummers."

Vash then gulped, then pointed at Gary. "Then…"

Gary stood up. "Yes. I am the son of Legato Bluesummers. I am a better shot than Vash, and can speak all known languages. I also have powers like my father." They both sat down. Vash sweated a bit.

Suddenly, the intercom came on. It was by Vice Principal Nimoy Dastun Brooksworth. "This is an announcement… The Principal, Sammy Nim Num… Has been killed. We have no idea who did it, so the school is going on lockdown."

Vash walked over to the door and locked it. "So… Everyone remain calm…"

The class sat there for a few seconds, then everyone except Mary and Gary erupted with yelling and screaming.

"Gah!!"

"We're gonna die!!"

"I'm like, too pretty to die!"

"I'm too fly to die, yo!"

Vash glared at them all. "I said remain calm! The louder you are, the higher the chances of the killer finding us!"

The class then immediately calmed down. Mackenzie then hopped into Vash's arms. "Oh, Great Teacher Ericks! Let's stop all of this denial! Since we are going to die anyway, make love to me here and now!!"

Vash dropped Mackenzie. "No one is going to die!!" He then looked to Mackenzie on the ground. "And no!!"

Vash looked to see that everyone was here. Everyone except Kaite and Sayuri, that is… Crap! Vash thought. They must have escaped during the chaos! He looked around the room to see an open air duct! "Damnit!!" he yelled out loud. He looked to the class. "Stay right here! I'll be right back!" He then crawled through the air ducts.

Mackenzie whimpered, then screamed out. "Stay safe, Great Teacher Ericks!"

~~~

Meanwhile, Kaite and Sayuri were crawling through the air ducts. "Kaite, are you sure this is safe?… What if we get caught?"

"Sayuri, I have to tell you something…"

"… You're not a woman, are you?!"

Kaite sweat dropped. "N-No! The whole reason I enrolled here was because… I'm a secret agent…"

"… Riiight…"

"Really! After a Sandsteamer incident, I was put on the mission of following the Badlads leader, 'Brilliant Dynamites Neon', and report his actions."

"And why would B.D.N. be here?"

"Because… Our Vice Principal is B.D.N…"

"Right, and our English teacher is Vash the Stampede…"

Kaite sweat dropped. "Well, he would probably kill me for telling you this, but…"

~~~

Suddenly, back in the class, N.D.B., er, B.D.N… Was making another announcement. Vash jumped out of the air duct to hear the announcement. B.D.N. spoke. "This is your Vice-Principal, Nimoy Dastun Brooksworth! Or should I say, Brilliant Dymamites Neon!" The class gasped.

Vash gasped louder. "Egad! How come I didn't see it before?! N.D.B., B.D.N.!!! I'm so stupid!"

~~~

"Whaaaaaaaaat?!" Sayuri screamed.

"Yep… Hard to believe, huh?…" Kaite nodded, as if confirming something.

"I still can't believe that our English is really Vash the Stampede…"

"Yep… So I have to try and get a report to HQ…"

"And I have to get your butt back to class!"

"Yes, and… Huh?!" Kaite looked back to see Vash.

"Hello!"

"Vash… What are you doing here?…"

"I should be asking you that!"

"I have a mission… In this case, you are a civilian."

"Er… Did I miss something?"

"… Nevermind… C'mon. We gotta stop him. Sayuri, get back to class."

"… But…" Sayuri started.

"NOW!!!"

"… Fine then…" Sayuri then crawled back in the other direction.

Vash and Kaite crawled for a while, before reaching the Main Office. They looked through the door to the duct, but all of a sudden, the door opened and they fell through. They quickly stood to be face to face with B.D.N. The Badlad leader smiled evilly. "Well, well, well… It's been a while!"

Vash growled. "What are you up to this time, B.D.N.?"

"Well, just to follow the 'Code of Evil Masterminds', I'll tell you my plan… I plan to fulfill every kids dream in a flashy and beautiful way!"

Vash perked up. "Free Carnival Day?!"

B.D.N. sweat dropped. "Noo!! Blow up the school! But not in a boring way… I'll blow it up using… Trix!"

"… Trix?"

"Yes! And I'll tie the 'Trix' bomb to…" B.D.N. walked over to a curtain, then pulled it away to reveal Sayuri, Meryl, Milly, and Knives tied up. "Them!!"

"Noo!!! Let them go, Brilliant Dynamites Neon!"

"Why should I? They'll make it all the more flashy and beautiful!"

Vash took a step, before a bunch of Badlads came out of nowhere and aimed their guns at Vash and Kite. "Oh, poopy…"

But then, all of a sudden, they all fell to the ground, dead. Everyone except Milly looked on in shock. She just smiled. A familiar voice rang through the room. "Well, what do we have here?… It seems you can't get out of anything without my help, Needle Noggin…" Vash's eyes widened, and out from the shadows walked a man named Nicholas D. Wolfwood…

To be continued…

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Whee! Cliffhanger! You all hate me now, don't you! Just wait till tomorrow… ^_^ Kouji, signing off!