Eventually they all stood up to take in their new surroundings. "Isn't
this just so cool? I got to check out my new room." Dawn said disappearing
through the door to explore her new room. She sprang to her feet and
disappeared through one of the doors. She instantly reappeared, "I think
that ones yours." Dawn got out before crossing the room and vanishing
again.
Buffy walked through the automatic doors into her and Spike's bedroom. It looked very cosy, the bed was piled up with cushions and there was a small window on the wall to the right of the doorway. A small table with lamp on it was in the opposite corner.
Everything looked very modern but that was hardly a surprise. She moved over and sat on the soft bed. Why should she worry? There was nothing she could do and it might be nice to have a little holiday from the hell mouth. Spike appeared in the doorway. "Hey," Buffy said from her seat o the bed. "Come sit down Spike." Spike sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Buffy, the woman he loved and had got a soul for. He had been so afraid when she told him what had happened when he left.
Spike finally looked across at Buffy, she was always the strong one, and she had to be. The effects of being the Slayer were visible in her. "Buffy?" "Spike?" He looked down and paused for a moment. "I just want to apologise to you, I don't ask for your forgiveness, I don't deserve it but I want you to know how sorry I am. I'm sorry for leaving and even more for what I did to you before. What I tried to do." He said in a choked voice.
Buffy flinched slightly in remembrance and Spike hung his head. "It's OK Spike you didn't, you stopped." "No it's not Ok Buffy, when I got back to my crypt after that I felt guilty. Real dirty guilt and a Vampire's not supposed to feel like that. I convinced myself it was the chip making me soft and I left to get it removed. I left when I should have been there for you and it fills me with regret and." "Spike," Buffy interrupted his rambling by placing a hand on his cheek causing him to look at her. "I forgive you Spike. I forgave you as soon as you left that day, I was such a bitch to you." Spike felt unworthy for a moment, he took her hand away but held it in his own, "I love you Buffy."
After a few minutes she spoke again; "Spike how come this soul hasn't made you all depressed and broody?" Spike thought for a moment he did feel different but there was no way he was going to let himself turn into a broody poof like his grand sire.
He remembered the pain that struck him once he had his soul given back to him, images filled with blood and screams flashed before him. He still had nightmare, actually they were memories, which had stopped him sleeping the first week, but they were becoming sparser even though they still made their presence know.
"Don't really know Buffy, guess it's just because me and my demon are one in the same. I don't have a split personality like Angel if that's what you're thinking. Plus it's not meant to be a curse for me." Buffy stared at him. Spike raised an eyebrow in question. "You said Angel Spike. Not 'poof' or 'peaches'." Spike paused, "Yeah." Spike smiled as he spoke but he felt far from happy, everything he had done for over a century was a sin.
Every time he looked at Buffy's golden face he was reminded of that night before he left. That night he had come to her with words of love which turned into acts of evil force. He was a monster.
Buffy walked through the automatic doors into her and Spike's bedroom. It looked very cosy, the bed was piled up with cushions and there was a small window on the wall to the right of the doorway. A small table with lamp on it was in the opposite corner.
Everything looked very modern but that was hardly a surprise. She moved over and sat on the soft bed. Why should she worry? There was nothing she could do and it might be nice to have a little holiday from the hell mouth. Spike appeared in the doorway. "Hey," Buffy said from her seat o the bed. "Come sit down Spike." Spike sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Buffy, the woman he loved and had got a soul for. He had been so afraid when she told him what had happened when he left.
Spike finally looked across at Buffy, she was always the strong one, and she had to be. The effects of being the Slayer were visible in her. "Buffy?" "Spike?" He looked down and paused for a moment. "I just want to apologise to you, I don't ask for your forgiveness, I don't deserve it but I want you to know how sorry I am. I'm sorry for leaving and even more for what I did to you before. What I tried to do." He said in a choked voice.
Buffy flinched slightly in remembrance and Spike hung his head. "It's OK Spike you didn't, you stopped." "No it's not Ok Buffy, when I got back to my crypt after that I felt guilty. Real dirty guilt and a Vampire's not supposed to feel like that. I convinced myself it was the chip making me soft and I left to get it removed. I left when I should have been there for you and it fills me with regret and." "Spike," Buffy interrupted his rambling by placing a hand on his cheek causing him to look at her. "I forgive you Spike. I forgave you as soon as you left that day, I was such a bitch to you." Spike felt unworthy for a moment, he took her hand away but held it in his own, "I love you Buffy."
After a few minutes she spoke again; "Spike how come this soul hasn't made you all depressed and broody?" Spike thought for a moment he did feel different but there was no way he was going to let himself turn into a broody poof like his grand sire.
He remembered the pain that struck him once he had his soul given back to him, images filled with blood and screams flashed before him. He still had nightmare, actually they were memories, which had stopped him sleeping the first week, but they were becoming sparser even though they still made their presence know.
"Don't really know Buffy, guess it's just because me and my demon are one in the same. I don't have a split personality like Angel if that's what you're thinking. Plus it's not meant to be a curse for me." Buffy stared at him. Spike raised an eyebrow in question. "You said Angel Spike. Not 'poof' or 'peaches'." Spike paused, "Yeah." Spike smiled as he spoke but he felt far from happy, everything he had done for over a century was a sin.
Every time he looked at Buffy's golden face he was reminded of that night before he left. That night he had come to her with words of love which turned into acts of evil force. He was a monster.