Title: The Way You Look Tonight
Author: Stexgirl2000
Email:Stexgirl2000@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: Horror! I don't own any part of Enterprise or the whole Star Trek universe. It all belongs to Paramount. Damn it!
Rating: PG-13
Category: Romance
Codes: A/S
Spoilers: Nope. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Oh, all right, maybe for Broken Bow, but jeez, if that's a spoiler for any of you, where have you been? It's been two years... Oh, and I'd say it's AU as I'm not even touching "The Expanse."
Summary: Sometimes a look, a glance, changes everything.
Author's Note: Un-beta'd. This is for everyone who has been telling me that my writer's block would eventually break.
Archive: LD has permission. Everyone else has to ask.
*****
It was late and only Gamma shift was up as the rest of the ship slumbered. Starlight streamed through the mess hall windows as Hoshi sat reading one of her exo-linguistics journals, sipping tea. Insomnia had plagued her for third night in a row and she hoped that reading a particularly dry monograph would make her tired.
So far, it wasn't working.
Putting down her journal, Hoshi savored the green tea she'd made. The quiet was nice. Very rarely it was quiet on the Enterprise. Oh, she could hear and feel the faint vibrations of the ship as it traveled on impulse, but still, it was quiet. The hustle and bustle of Alpha and Beta shifts meant a cacophony of voices and movement. Gamma shift was calm and serene.
Then again, it was the graveyard shift, so it should be calm and serene.
Leaning back in her chair, Hoshi propped her feet on the table and closed her eyes, listening to the quiet. She felt so tired, but sleep was alluding her as her mind whirled in circles. Hoshi knew that if she couldn't fall asleep on her own tonight, she would have to bite the bullet and go to Phlox.
It wasn't that she didn't trust Phlox. She did. She just wanted to try to figure out on her own what exactly was keeping her awake. Otherwise, her problem would return as soon as she finished any medical remedy Phlox prescribed for her.
With a sigh, Hoshi shook her head. She knew damn well what her problem was. Her problem was Jonathan Archer. Her problem was that over the past few months, her long held, deeply buried feelings for him were surfacing once more.
God damn it, it wasn't fair. Bastard. Clueless bastard.
She sighed at her thoughts. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just was.
Every time she thought she was over him, something would happen that would make her pine for him again. Last week, while making first contact with the Ygorne, Jon had assigned her to the away team and they'd were partnered at the formal dinner that the Ygorne First Minister had given in their honor.
It was wonderful, sitting there, talking to Jon when they weren't making conversation with the Ygorne senators sitting with them. At the end of the dinner they went for a walk around the small lake near the Minister's house, talking until the sunrise.
It was one of the most wonderful moments she'd ever had, watching the sunrise while holding Jon's hand. And all too brief, for as soon as they'd realized what they were doing, they'd dropped their hold.
Seven days later, she still shivered thinking about it.
The doors to the mess hall opened and Hoshi opened her eyes to see Jonathan Archer enter and her heart did a little flip. He was in sweats, looking rumpled, sexy, and sleepy. Seeing her, he smiled and her heart did a double flip. "Can't sleep?" he asked as he walked over to her.
"No. And you, sir? You're up late." Hoshi started to take her feet off the table and Jon waved her off.
"Keep them there, Hoshi. You looked comfortable." He sat down across from her and propped his feet up as well. "Ah, that's better," he sighed. Grinning boyishly, he leaned back in chair. "To answer your question, I'm up late because I had to finish up reviewing a batch of reports you're going to have to send off tomorrow morning to Starfleet. I swear, I think Trip and his staff wrote fifty or sixty extra reviews this month alone."
Hoshi laughed softly and Jon mock scowled at her. "Don't laugh Ensign, it gets worse. Malcolm has figured out a way to upgrade phase pistols to yield more of a sustained output. That report was seventy-six pages long. And T'Pol's detailed analysis of that system with the two suns and nearby pulsar, that was over a hundred pages."
Hoshi couldn't help it, she giggled. Jon sighed as he continued. "Now, the icing on the cake was that Chef submitted a report. Twenty pages about using some new hydroponic strain of grain we're growing to use in our meals as a new protein substitute."
Jon paused as Hoshi's giggles became stronger. "Actually, I take it back. The clincher for me tonight was going over Phlox's reports. Do you know that Malcolm and his team account for sixty-three percent of the usage of sickbay's resources? And it seems that Trip alone, alone, accounts for twenty percent. Can you believe it? Twenty percent of Phlox's medical resources, used just on one man. I feel lucky that he didn't break out Malcolm's percentages from the rest of the armory staff. As it is, I am not looking forward to explaining those numbers to Admiral Forrest."
Hoshi bent over, holding her sides and gulping air as she laughed. "Oh, oh, oh God, it shouldn't seem funny, but I can just see the Admiral asking you why you had to choose a chief engineer named Trip if this is what happens!"
Jon looked at Hoshi for a moment and then started laughing with her. They sat together, gasping for air and dissolving into snorts and chortles as they tried to stop. Each time their eyes met, it would just set off another wave of hysterical giggles and snorts.
Finally, Jon managed to gain control of his laughter and sit up straight in his chair once more. Taking a deep breath, he stretched, and yawned, exposing a bit of his stomach as his sweatshirt rode up. Deep in Hoshi's belly, the stirrings of attraction tingled. Out of habit, she pushed it away; now was not the time for her let her feelings about Jonathan Archer to surface. If nothing had happened last week, it certainly wouldn't happen now.
"It feels good to laugh," Jon said, smiling at her. "I feel like I haven't laughed in a long, long time." Putting his feet back on the floor, he patted her hand. Hoshi felt her heart leap into her throat at the electricity of his touch and Jon's face suddenly lost its smile. His face became very still.
For a long moment they stared at each other, Jon's hand resting on hers.
The silence became unbearable for Hoshi. "What are you thinking?" she whispered.
Jon's expression changed, becoming gentler, an indescribable yearning peeking out of his green eyes. "That you look very beautiful in the starlight..."
The longing and desire that she'd stomped down came roaring back at his words. Before she could say anything, Jon removed his hand from hers and his captain's mask was firmly back in place. Her hand felt cold. "I apologize, Hoshi, that wasn't appropriate for me to say. I'll get my tea and go back to my quarters..."
He stood up and started to walk away, but with a quickness that surprised her, Hoshi stopped him by grabbing his arm. "Captain...Jon, don't go. You don't have to apologize. It wasn't inappropriate."
Jon looked down at her and touched her cheek with his free hand. "No, it was, Hoshi. I shouldn't, shouldn't..." He trailed off and Hoshi stood up, taking his hands in hers. Her heart hammered nervously in her chest. He was attracted to her. He felt something for her. It made her soul sing with happiness.
Looking up at him, Hoshi realized that she needed to say it, because she knew that he wouldn't. "What? That you shouldn't be attracted to me? That you shouldn't find me beautiful or desirable?"
"Yes." He let go of her hands. "I'm the captain, Hoshi. I can't get involved with anyone. It would be taking advantage and I won't do that to you."
Hoshi reached up and caressed Jon's face with one hand, letting the other rest on his shoulder. "You wouldn't be taking advantage of me, Jon. I've been attracted to you for a long time. Since the moment we met. How else would I have agreed to throw off the last weeks of my classes? The Klingon recording put it over the top, but I was already weakening. Truth is, I wanted to be with you."
Jon's expression was stunned. "I never guessed."
Hoshi smiled. "No, you didn't. I never thought that you saw me as more than an officer and a friend. But you do, don't you?"
"Hoshi," began Jon, his voice filled with caution. "We can't go there. There's too much that separates us."
Stepping closer, Hoshi leaned into Jon and his arms went around her. A small shudder ran through his body. "It's too late, Jon," she said quietly. "We're already there. The moment you said that I look beautiful in the starlight, we moved there."
Resting his cheek against her head, he murmured, "I'm older than you by twenty years. I'm the captain. I'd be putting your professional reputation at risk. I might even be putting your life at risk."
Wrapping her arms securely around Jon's body, Hoshi replied, "The moment I stepped onto this warp propelled tin-can, my life was at risk. It's the same for everyone else. As for the rest, I don't care. I don't care about age, about rank, about reputation. But do care about you. I care very, very much about you."
They stood stock still, Jon held Hoshi tightly and she listened to his heartbeat, letting her breathing match its rhythm. Gently, Jon broke away and kissed her.
All Hoshi could do was let her mouth meet his and drown in the happiness that she was feeling.
She wasn't sure how long their kiss lasted, but when his lips moved off of hers, it felt way too short. His eyes locked with hers as he growled, "Damn you, Hoshi Sato, now that I've kissed you, I think I need to do it again."
Hoshi threw her head back and laughed in pure joy. "If it makes you feel any better, Jonathan Archer, I feel the same way. What are you waiting for? Kiss me again."
Jon's eyes twinkled as he bent down to kiss her once more, and Hoshi gasped as his mouth ravaged hers. This kiss was demanding, passionate, and full of promise.
When they finally parted for the second time, Hoshi gathered up her things in silence.
Looking at Jon, Hoshi knew that not another word needed to be said. She held out her hand and Jon took it firmly, giving it a swift kiss. Then hand in hand, they left the mess hall, together.
Author: Stexgirl2000
Email:Stexgirl2000@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: Horror! I don't own any part of Enterprise or the whole Star Trek universe. It all belongs to Paramount. Damn it!
Rating: PG-13
Category: Romance
Codes: A/S
Spoilers: Nope. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Oh, all right, maybe for Broken Bow, but jeez, if that's a spoiler for any of you, where have you been? It's been two years... Oh, and I'd say it's AU as I'm not even touching "The Expanse."
Summary: Sometimes a look, a glance, changes everything.
Author's Note: Un-beta'd. This is for everyone who has been telling me that my writer's block would eventually break.
Archive: LD has permission. Everyone else has to ask.
*****
It was late and only Gamma shift was up as the rest of the ship slumbered. Starlight streamed through the mess hall windows as Hoshi sat reading one of her exo-linguistics journals, sipping tea. Insomnia had plagued her for third night in a row and she hoped that reading a particularly dry monograph would make her tired.
So far, it wasn't working.
Putting down her journal, Hoshi savored the green tea she'd made. The quiet was nice. Very rarely it was quiet on the Enterprise. Oh, she could hear and feel the faint vibrations of the ship as it traveled on impulse, but still, it was quiet. The hustle and bustle of Alpha and Beta shifts meant a cacophony of voices and movement. Gamma shift was calm and serene.
Then again, it was the graveyard shift, so it should be calm and serene.
Leaning back in her chair, Hoshi propped her feet on the table and closed her eyes, listening to the quiet. She felt so tired, but sleep was alluding her as her mind whirled in circles. Hoshi knew that if she couldn't fall asleep on her own tonight, she would have to bite the bullet and go to Phlox.
It wasn't that she didn't trust Phlox. She did. She just wanted to try to figure out on her own what exactly was keeping her awake. Otherwise, her problem would return as soon as she finished any medical remedy Phlox prescribed for her.
With a sigh, Hoshi shook her head. She knew damn well what her problem was. Her problem was Jonathan Archer. Her problem was that over the past few months, her long held, deeply buried feelings for him were surfacing once more.
God damn it, it wasn't fair. Bastard. Clueless bastard.
She sighed at her thoughts. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just was.
Every time she thought she was over him, something would happen that would make her pine for him again. Last week, while making first contact with the Ygorne, Jon had assigned her to the away team and they'd were partnered at the formal dinner that the Ygorne First Minister had given in their honor.
It was wonderful, sitting there, talking to Jon when they weren't making conversation with the Ygorne senators sitting with them. At the end of the dinner they went for a walk around the small lake near the Minister's house, talking until the sunrise.
It was one of the most wonderful moments she'd ever had, watching the sunrise while holding Jon's hand. And all too brief, for as soon as they'd realized what they were doing, they'd dropped their hold.
Seven days later, she still shivered thinking about it.
The doors to the mess hall opened and Hoshi opened her eyes to see Jonathan Archer enter and her heart did a little flip. He was in sweats, looking rumpled, sexy, and sleepy. Seeing her, he smiled and her heart did a double flip. "Can't sleep?" he asked as he walked over to her.
"No. And you, sir? You're up late." Hoshi started to take her feet off the table and Jon waved her off.
"Keep them there, Hoshi. You looked comfortable." He sat down across from her and propped his feet up as well. "Ah, that's better," he sighed. Grinning boyishly, he leaned back in chair. "To answer your question, I'm up late because I had to finish up reviewing a batch of reports you're going to have to send off tomorrow morning to Starfleet. I swear, I think Trip and his staff wrote fifty or sixty extra reviews this month alone."
Hoshi laughed softly and Jon mock scowled at her. "Don't laugh Ensign, it gets worse. Malcolm has figured out a way to upgrade phase pistols to yield more of a sustained output. That report was seventy-six pages long. And T'Pol's detailed analysis of that system with the two suns and nearby pulsar, that was over a hundred pages."
Hoshi couldn't help it, she giggled. Jon sighed as he continued. "Now, the icing on the cake was that Chef submitted a report. Twenty pages about using some new hydroponic strain of grain we're growing to use in our meals as a new protein substitute."
Jon paused as Hoshi's giggles became stronger. "Actually, I take it back. The clincher for me tonight was going over Phlox's reports. Do you know that Malcolm and his team account for sixty-three percent of the usage of sickbay's resources? And it seems that Trip alone, alone, accounts for twenty percent. Can you believe it? Twenty percent of Phlox's medical resources, used just on one man. I feel lucky that he didn't break out Malcolm's percentages from the rest of the armory staff. As it is, I am not looking forward to explaining those numbers to Admiral Forrest."
Hoshi bent over, holding her sides and gulping air as she laughed. "Oh, oh, oh God, it shouldn't seem funny, but I can just see the Admiral asking you why you had to choose a chief engineer named Trip if this is what happens!"
Jon looked at Hoshi for a moment and then started laughing with her. They sat together, gasping for air and dissolving into snorts and chortles as they tried to stop. Each time their eyes met, it would just set off another wave of hysterical giggles and snorts.
Finally, Jon managed to gain control of his laughter and sit up straight in his chair once more. Taking a deep breath, he stretched, and yawned, exposing a bit of his stomach as his sweatshirt rode up. Deep in Hoshi's belly, the stirrings of attraction tingled. Out of habit, she pushed it away; now was not the time for her let her feelings about Jonathan Archer to surface. If nothing had happened last week, it certainly wouldn't happen now.
"It feels good to laugh," Jon said, smiling at her. "I feel like I haven't laughed in a long, long time." Putting his feet back on the floor, he patted her hand. Hoshi felt her heart leap into her throat at the electricity of his touch and Jon's face suddenly lost its smile. His face became very still.
For a long moment they stared at each other, Jon's hand resting on hers.
The silence became unbearable for Hoshi. "What are you thinking?" she whispered.
Jon's expression changed, becoming gentler, an indescribable yearning peeking out of his green eyes. "That you look very beautiful in the starlight..."
The longing and desire that she'd stomped down came roaring back at his words. Before she could say anything, Jon removed his hand from hers and his captain's mask was firmly back in place. Her hand felt cold. "I apologize, Hoshi, that wasn't appropriate for me to say. I'll get my tea and go back to my quarters..."
He stood up and started to walk away, but with a quickness that surprised her, Hoshi stopped him by grabbing his arm. "Captain...Jon, don't go. You don't have to apologize. It wasn't inappropriate."
Jon looked down at her and touched her cheek with his free hand. "No, it was, Hoshi. I shouldn't, shouldn't..." He trailed off and Hoshi stood up, taking his hands in hers. Her heart hammered nervously in her chest. He was attracted to her. He felt something for her. It made her soul sing with happiness.
Looking up at him, Hoshi realized that she needed to say it, because she knew that he wouldn't. "What? That you shouldn't be attracted to me? That you shouldn't find me beautiful or desirable?"
"Yes." He let go of her hands. "I'm the captain, Hoshi. I can't get involved with anyone. It would be taking advantage and I won't do that to you."
Hoshi reached up and caressed Jon's face with one hand, letting the other rest on his shoulder. "You wouldn't be taking advantage of me, Jon. I've been attracted to you for a long time. Since the moment we met. How else would I have agreed to throw off the last weeks of my classes? The Klingon recording put it over the top, but I was already weakening. Truth is, I wanted to be with you."
Jon's expression was stunned. "I never guessed."
Hoshi smiled. "No, you didn't. I never thought that you saw me as more than an officer and a friend. But you do, don't you?"
"Hoshi," began Jon, his voice filled with caution. "We can't go there. There's too much that separates us."
Stepping closer, Hoshi leaned into Jon and his arms went around her. A small shudder ran through his body. "It's too late, Jon," she said quietly. "We're already there. The moment you said that I look beautiful in the starlight, we moved there."
Resting his cheek against her head, he murmured, "I'm older than you by twenty years. I'm the captain. I'd be putting your professional reputation at risk. I might even be putting your life at risk."
Wrapping her arms securely around Jon's body, Hoshi replied, "The moment I stepped onto this warp propelled tin-can, my life was at risk. It's the same for everyone else. As for the rest, I don't care. I don't care about age, about rank, about reputation. But do care about you. I care very, very much about you."
They stood stock still, Jon held Hoshi tightly and she listened to his heartbeat, letting her breathing match its rhythm. Gently, Jon broke away and kissed her.
All Hoshi could do was let her mouth meet his and drown in the happiness that she was feeling.
She wasn't sure how long their kiss lasted, but when his lips moved off of hers, it felt way too short. His eyes locked with hers as he growled, "Damn you, Hoshi Sato, now that I've kissed you, I think I need to do it again."
Hoshi threw her head back and laughed in pure joy. "If it makes you feel any better, Jonathan Archer, I feel the same way. What are you waiting for? Kiss me again."
Jon's eyes twinkled as he bent down to kiss her once more, and Hoshi gasped as his mouth ravaged hers. This kiss was demanding, passionate, and full of promise.
When they finally parted for the second time, Hoshi gathered up her things in silence.
Looking at Jon, Hoshi knew that not another word needed to be said. She held out her hand and Jon took it firmly, giving it a swift kiss. Then hand in hand, they left the mess hall, together.