A/N: Section two has non con/dub con, for those wanting to skip the scene.

-Lucicelo

Presenting a willingness to resume their sexual acts, Hiroki guided Nowaki past his room, toward the master bedroom. He kept his eyes forward, blinking back tears of frustration of selling himself for favors and the protection that came along with it.

His heartbeat rapidly in his chest, almost protruding out of his body. His limbs felt heavy. The hand holding Nowaki was itching and sweaty.

Ever since he relented in presenting some facets of affection, Nowaki grasped onto whatever crumble of love Hiroki gave him. Taking advantage of Hiroki's submission in letting him do as he wished. Nowaki believed Hiroki was falling in love .

The idea made Hiroki vomit a bit in his mouth.

There were instances where Nowaki voiced the desire of showing him off. To make sure everyone knew Hiroki was taken and unavailable. Pushing the idea of a relationship might bring Nowaki to take him outside. As much as the idea disgusted Hiroki, Nowaki was under the impression they were meant to be. All Hiroki needed to do was to submit to these delusions. Make Nowaki happy enough for them to go public .

Nowaki commented on the beauty of the trails around this cabin. The large, looming trees, and the variety of foliage. The clean, crisp smell of the air. During the night, the stars appeared sharper, clearer due to the lack of fumes obscuring them from view.

The concept of being outside in the fresh air and basking in the sun filled him with hope.

His old self would have laughed at his sudden need to bask in the sunlight. He used to self-isolate in his own home to work on his classes or read copious amounts of books. Without work, friends, and family, he would have stayed in his home without complaint. He ventured out to a convenience store to collect ingredients for a meal or a bento for a break, but he didn't find enjoyment in being outside.

In this cabin, he was imprisoned without the means of escape. A breath of fresh air was becoming a rarity for him.

Nowaki nailed the windows shut, leaving him no means of getting fresh air. Any crisp new air came from Nowaki returning from work or his errands. His routine in greeting him at the door brought him a few gulps of fresh air. The minute sunlight peeking past Nowaki's tall frame made Hiroki yearn for the outside . He made sure to inhale the smell of the forest with a discreetness that he managed to do despite being under Nowaki's critical eye.

Now, all he wanted was to walk outside and wander around without purpose. For the peace of mind of being able to walk around without someone watching him. To forget about his experiences with Nowaki and this forsaken cabin.

His peek at freedom was Nowaki's decision. A decision that Nowaki backtracked from whenever it convinced him. On Nowaki's happier days, he planned out their date with excruciating details. Hiroki nodded in certain pauses but didn't find delight in spending extra time with the man. Hiroki preferred this Nowaki to the brute who forced him to say he loved him while threatening his life.

As they made it past Hiroki's room, Nowaki froze in place, not moving a single step toward the direction of the open door.

Hiroki's weaker strength made it impossible for him to pull him along. He bit the inside of his cheek. Wanting to scream at him to move along, for them to get the fucking over with before he cried. He was teetering on the brink of releasing actual tears for the first time in weeks .

"Hiro-san?"

Hiroki blinked back the frustrating tears from his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes?"

"Where are we going?"

"Your room." Hiroki answered quickly.

"No, no, we will go to your room." Nowaki pulled Hiroki into the other direction, Hiroki let himself be dragged away. "You have no reason to come into my room. It's not clean."

Hiroki asked. "Why not?"

"I just said it wasn't clean , Hiro-san." Nowaki's voice hardened. "I would prefer to go to your room."

Hiroki gulped. "A-Aren't we supposed to sleep in the same bed? Stay in the same room?" His heart sped up in adrenaline at the glare Nowaki showed over his continued insistence. "I feel lonely just sleeping on my own."

Nowaki relaxed in place, almost tentative when he asked. "Do you really mean that?"

Hiroki lied through his teeth. "Y-Yes."

Grunting from a rough thrust into his unwilling and slack body, Hiroki's head banged against the wall. Black spots appeared in his vision upon impact. Hearing the sickening crack in between Nowaki's chant of his name, he cried out in pain, as usual Nowaki mistook it as a pleasurable moan.

Panic set in at the thought of losing his vision. His vision worsened from reading too much, but a hit to the head might accelerate the process. Losing his muscle mass from lack of activity, lack of nutrients, and the cocktail of drugs, caused him to deteriorate. Seeing darkness for the rest of his life scared him to the core.

He needed his eyes to observe his surroundings. One misplaced object would alert Nowaki of him wandering around places he shouldn't have been able to go into. Nowaki already believed he couldn't walk past his own bedroom. Somehow, it didn't register to Nowaki that Hiroki, being able to walk to the door, was a sign of his returning strength, but thought himself as Hiroki's healer .

Of course, Nowaki ignored the fact that he put Hiroki in this dire strait. He believed what he wanted to believe. Even if he was the one who broke him, he would heal him back together into a new person. No matter how loving he was, his benevolence came with a price.

Hiroki imagined Nowaki's thrilled tone at his newest setback. Losing his vision meant Nowaki could control him even more. Hiroki wouldn't know if Nowaki left this cabin or was standing in the same room as him. Watching him throughout the day to know if Hiroki was acting out of this submissive role he was shoved into.

As his vision cleared up, Hiroki couldn't sigh in relief. There was nothing to feel relief about. His vision returned, but he was still underneath someone he didn't want to fuck. Nowaki's loud moans broke whatever immersed daydreams Hiroki attempted to place himself into.

Closing his eyes, Hiroki wrapped his mind around his escape plan.

There was nothing to do than to wait this out.

Fooling Nowaki into believing their happy life would result in the promise of escape. At some point, Nowaki's guard had to come down. He couldn't be around at all hours of the day. Resident students were out almost all day or night, depending on the rotations their superiors placed them in.

Nowaki's pace quickened.

Hiroki opened his eyes and stared in between Nowaki's eyebrows, giving the illusion of him looking into his eyes. A trick he used to use when he was in high school for those rare instances of stage fright. He never thought he would use this in this instance.

"Hiro-san! Hiro-san !" Nowaki moaned out loud, his hands gripped onto Hiroki's hips even tighter.

Hiroki let out a few convincing moans, grimacing over Nowaki's fingers digging into his skin. Not too long after, Nowaki spilled himself inside of him, almost collapsing on top of him. Hiroki's body tensed.

He wanted him off.

He wanted him off .

He wanted him off.

Nowaki snapped out of his past orgasm bliss and pulled out of Hiroki. His sequence of kisses on Hiroki's skin further aggravated the panic inside of his mind. Hiroki wanted nothing more than to beat him with his fists, kick him off of the bed, but he was useless .

Nowaki collapsed beside him, delight lacing his tone. "I really needed that, thank you, Hiro-san. You know, I had such a bad day–"

Hiroki turned his head away, not wanting to look at him. Closing his eyes, he ignored Nowaki's platitudes, his gratefulness in being able to join him in bed again. Hiroki was coerced into putting himself through this mess. Whatever willingness he might have had to bed Nowaki disappeared after that first night.

Hiroki thought his rape was a nightmare at first. Nowaki was a kind young man who never disrespected him. Up until the day he ghosted him during their tutoring days, Nowaki was a model citizen. Nowaki even saved him from being trampled by a car, tending to him hand and foot.

When he woke up the next morning, aching, bleeding, unable to move without feeling pain, Hiroki wanted to cry.

The people who genuinely loved him would have never done this to him.

Throughout his mental turmoil, Hiroki managed to go to sleep.

He dreamed of blind ing stars scattering around his vision, enveloping him in darkness. He welcomed the soothing embrace of his peaceful mind, managing to forget the despair of his real life.

In the morning, Nowaki's stupidly happy mood did nothing to soothe Hiroki's sour disposition. Hiroki woke up with a sharp pain that throbbed throughout his lower half of his body. Despite instructing Nowaki to handle him with care, Nowaki didn't pace himself and lost himself in his own passions. This left Hiroki with a new injury that aggravated the old tears in his ass. Nowaki managed to reopen them despite having prepped him, but Hiroki knew that his body immediately tensed without meaning to. His whole body rejected the idea of Nowaki sticking his dick inside of him.

Putting on a neutral smile, he didn't react to Nowaki bathing him, dressing him in a robe, and carrying him into the living room. Nowaki didn't trust him to not fall out of the kitchen chairs and started placing him on the sofa. The nook on the side of the sofa helped to keep him upright as Nowaki fed him breakfast or attempted to feed him anyway. Hiroki fought him in feeding himself. He wasn't old and frail to warrant such actions.

Hiroki hoped he would reach an old age to get someone to feed him by hand.

Nowaki left him to go inside the kitchen to make them breakfast. In no time at all, sounds of sizzling and kitchen utensils reached Hiroki's ears. The delicious smells permeated the air, stirring Hiroki's growing stomach. Ever since Nowaki lowered the dosages, Hiroki's appetite returned with a vengeance. The little food that was given to him was a ate far more than this, but his stomach couldn't handle it yet.

Lolling his head to the side, Hiroki cursed himself for loving Nowaki's food. No matter how much he hated him, Nowaki knew how to cook. He was not one to buy store bought meals. The man cooked from scratch.

Cooking from scratch was something his mother did when she cooked. She rarely bought readymade meals, liking to feed her family with meals she made by her own hands. Even more so after her husband and son showered her with compliments.

Her delighted, sweet smile was all the reward Hiroki needed. The fragility of her heart meant she couldn't do much, but she put heart and soul into her cooking. Even if her cooking was terrible, Hiroki would have lied and said it was delicious.

He loved her that much.

Hiroki shut his eyes tight to stop himself from crying.

He missed her.

"Food's ready!"

Hiroki gathered himself together before Nowaki turned the corner of the couch. He set down a tray filled with small portions of food. It took Hiroki multiple times to vomit before Nowaki got the hint to feed him child sized portions.

Nowaki set a plastic cup, never a glass cup, into Hiroki's hands. Afterwards, he started picking up plates, blowing air to cool them down.

Hiroki couldn't help but stare. He learned early on that these silent moments of domesticity were a trick. Nowaki wanted the fantasy of a married man in love. If Hiroki strayed from his narrative, he would give him the filthiest look of anger, maybe some threats sprinkled in there.

After several bites of food, Hiroki felt dizzy.

Blinking rapidly, he slowly grabbed the plastic cup and sipped it.

Nowaki insisted. "Have more bites. Remember, I have to go to work. I won't be able to cook for you today."

Hiroki grimaced, not wanting to eat another bite. When he opened his mouth to say no, Nowaki shoved a spoon of miso soup into his mouth. Almost choking on the serving, Hiroki focused on not dying on soup before sipping more juice. His mouth started to feel dry despite quenching his thirst.

Nowaki ate none of the food. His attention solely focused on Hiroki, wanting him to eat his fill. Hiroki commented on Nowaki ignoring his own food, but Nowaki shook his head with a placating smile.

"No, no, you eat first."

"But–"

" You eat first."

Nowaki shoved a bite of rice into Hiroki's mouth. His blue eyes locked on Hiroki's mouth, making sure he ate everything he gave him. Indication of uneaten food earned Hiroki a dark glare for daring to waste food.

Hiroki realized why he felt dizzy before he lost consciousness. He could have slapped himself for not realizing sooner.

Nowaki drugged his food again.

Nowaki set down the plate back onto the tray before he removed the cup from Hiroki's slacked hands. He gathered him up into his arms and took him to their bedroom. The thought of Hiroki's room now becoming their bedroom was a dream come true. Nowaki planned to move most of his clothing in their bedroom but leave most of his possessions in his old bedroom.

He needed a space to himself in case Hiroki got angry at him. This would happen sooner or later. All couples got into arguments every once in a while. No matter how much in love they were, disagreements were bound to happen. Besides, Hiroki had their bedroom first and didn't need to go into another room. Nowaki could go back to his old room.

Walking down the hall, Nowaki went directly into Hiroki's bedroom and set him down onto their bed. He made sure to fluff up his pillows and tucked him into bed. It wouldn't do for Hiroki to catch a cold. Hiroki was in a weak state. He needed all the protection Nowaki could give him.

Nowaki caressed his face, soaking in his beautiful face. Hiroki looked lovely while he slept.

The cocktail of drugs he slipped into Hiroki's food made it possible for Hiroki to sleep for hours. For most of the day give or take. Nowaki calculated his dosages correctly, but he might have added a bit more to soothe his concerns.

Nowaki couldn't have Hiroki waking up without him in the area after all.

Before he thought of leaving, Nowaki went into the kitchen and cleaned his hands in order to prep an IV bag for Hiroki. A simple saline solution to keep Hiroki hydrated throughout the day. Slipping on a pair of gloves, he returned inside of their bedroom and hooked up the IV bag to the IV stand. He wiped down the spot where he would insert the IV and pierced Hiroki's skin.

He made sure there was nothing to disturb the IV before he removed the gloves from his hands. Tossing them into the garbage, Nowaki closed their bedroom door and went inside of his old bedroom.

Gathering his wallet and keys, he grabbed his backpack and a warm coat. He shoved his wallet and keys inside of his backpack before he slipped on his coat. Afterwards, he walked toward the living room where he cleaned up Hiroki's breakfast and placed the plates into the sink. Turning on the faucet, he filled the sink with soapy water and let the plates to soak. He would clean them when he returned back from his errand.

Doing a quick inspection of his cabin, he felt confident to leave for most of the day.

Nowaki walked out of his home and locked the door.

Returning inside of his cabin, Nowaki kicked off his shoes, locked the door behind him, and rushed to their bedroom. Placing his backpack on the floor, he went to Hiroki's side, thrilled to see him asleep in their bed. The drugs did their job in keeping Hiroki compliant in their bed.

Everything was perfect.

Nothing could ruin their life now.

Shoving his hand inside of his coat pocket, Nowaki's heart swelled at feeling the velvet casing of the ring box. Ever since the idea of marrying Hiroki popped into his head, Nowaki wanted nothing more than to buy him a ring. Although illegal in Japan, Nowaki wanted to marry Hiroki. Their marriage would be spiritual, but Nowaki was patient for a change in the future. Eventually, they would be married by law, keeping Hiroki forever at his side.

The ceremony would be put aside for some time, but Nowaki could fly in an officiant from America. He had a friend who gained his officiant license and would be willing to marry anyone. Nowaki asked him if he would be willing to come to Japan. Of course, he would cover the cost of his ticket and hotel stay. His friend agreed without needing to be asked twice.

With the officiant situation settled, Nowaki spent weeks looking for the right ring on the internet in between work and tending to Hiroki. He could have gone into the city, but Hiroki would have noticed he was gone, and his rotations kept him planted in the hospital. Nowaki was frustrated during those weeks, not liking the rings he saw online. None of them suited Hiroki.

Until he found the ring and he immediately bought it.

Having measured Hiroki's ring finger while he was unconscious, Nowaki knew his exact measurements.

Continuously touching the velvet casing of the ring box, Nowaki muttered. "I hope you will say yes. Oh, you will make me the happiest man in the world."

Hiroki slept on as Nowaki left to hide the ring in a discreet location.

TBC