A/N: somebody is depressed, one guess who.
A/N: I think i've put a nice twist in this chapter...be prepared
Chapter eight: A Second Account
Albus shut the door behind him, and leaned back on it with a sigh. He half felt like he should return to the room, and speak with her. But the way she was responding to him showed that he was all but needed at the moment. Infact, these were her exact words..."I dont really need you".
He stared down the empty corridor, and took in a deep breath. He stepped away from the door, and took one last look at it before he started walking down the hall.
He soon found himself in the great hall, surrounded by many happy faces, and laughing children. His mood did not need this, not with the depression that had begun to surround his world. He couldn't help but let his mind think of how he had once been carefree like the students that lay before him. Their worst problem was how they were going to get rid of the acne that had taken refuge on their face...'ahh, how it must feel to be carefree' he thought with a sigh.
He walked towards his seat in the center of the staff table, and took his place. Food immediately appeared on his plate, although the need to eat had not truly passed through his mind at the time.
He looked next to him, and saw Minerva's empty seat. He felt a lump rise within his throat, but swallowed it down as much as he possibly could.
Severus, who sat just one seat over from Minerva looked at Albus intently. He had gotten time to think about what little Albus had told him earlier that day, and felt rather alarmed at even the presence of the headmaster. Often strong, the strongest person that he had met, was Albus Dumbledore, but it was obvious that strength had left him...whether it be physically, or mentally.
"How is everything headmaster? Is she alright?" Severus finally spoke up
Albus looked up at Severus. Quite honestly, he hadnt truly noticed the presence of the potions master, and found it a shock that he had said something.
"Well, she had taken refuge within her room, and apparently does not wish to speak to anyone."
"Why are you here instead of up there with her? I would think that she would want you to be there. I mean, you are after all her husband."
"She doesn't want to talk to me. She said it flat out, and she seems to be okay to be left alone. So I'm doing as she asks, and leaving her."
"Why does she want to be alone?"
"You know Minerva. If she's depressed enough, she just wants to wallow in her misery until she feels ready to talk. Unfortunately though, I would really like to talk to her right now, but she won't hear of it. She wasn't in that room for 30 minutes before she started screaming at me to get out."
"I AM sorry headmaster. I truly am. I wouldn't know what to do if something like that were to happen to my wife."
"If something like what were to happen to me?" a voice came from behind them. Both men turned around to find Kate Snape standing there, obviously trying to be part of the conversation.
"Oh, we were just discussing what they found out today at Minerva's doctor's appointment." Severus said, reaching out a hand to her. She took it, and he pulled her to Minerva's seat.
Albus stared at her for a moment or two, not able to ignore the pain that was throbbing within his chest. Severus didn't know the pain that was being inflicted just by letting Kate sit in Minerva's chair, but it was delivered at the worst possible time.
"So what is it that exactly happened, I mean there must have been some kind of warning." Kate asked, not noticing his mystified stare.
"Im sure you both know about how she hasn't been feeling too well. I've told you both about how she needed potions for the pain and what not lately. She and I both had been worrying over the possibility of a miscarriage for quite some time, but we were truly hoping that it was all in our heads. I guess if you think about it, we both knew, but didn't want to face the truth. Although now, we must face it, and as it seems Minerva and I alike are taking our own paths."
"What do you mean?" Kate asked quietly
"She's in her room right now, doing God knows what, refusing to speak with me. While I'm down here thinking about what to do"
"I'm so sorry. I don't think it's fair that you two have gone through so much, and this happens. I truly don't."
"Well, unfortunately, it's a part of life. We'll all have to get used to it."
"Are you still planning on going on your trip?" Severus asked offhand, trying to change the subject.
"I dont know. I dont know what sort of stage she'll be at by then. She certainly seems many things right now."
"What do you mean?"
"Angry. Sad. Depressed. Alone. Humiliated...to name a few. I could probably go on and on about how I perceive how she is."
"Are you sure that is what SHE'S been feeling, or is that what you could possibly be feeling?" Kate asked slowly
"What I feel, I really can't say. I feel most of those, but I have one thing that she seems to be lacking at the moment."
"And what is that?"
"Thankfulness"
"What do you mean THANKFULNESS? You just lost a child. How could you be thankful?" Severus nearly yelled out
"I mean, thankful for what I have. She seems to be hating everything right now, and I DO mean everything. She's acting as if she hates being alive."
"Oh come off it man. She just learned that she lost her third child. I wouldn't honestly be expecting her to be over it!"
"Nor am I. I only meant that she shouldn't be so hateful of everything. She's a grown woman, not a school girl."
"Albus." Kate said softly "I don't have much experience in the field of losing children, but I know enough. Just give her time. It hasnt even been a day, and you're already sounding as if you expect her to be completely over it. And I'm sure that you haven't gotten over it either...I know you tend to prefer the strong suit when it comes to emotions, but I'm sure you're feeling it too. Perhaps not as much as Minerva is, but you can't very well NOT be feeling it. If I were in her position, I would want my husband to be there to make me feel loved."
Albus stared at Kate a bit dumbstruck. She was one of the few staff members that had truly gotten to know him; the few that knew his personality better than nearly everyone else in the world. As for what she had just said, they couldn't have been more true, but he was placed between two choices. One, would be to act in control and like nothing was wrong, and two, to lose all control of himself and scream at the world of the unfairness that had taken him by surprise.
"You're probably right Kate. But Minerva won't even speak with me. She was threatening to turn me into a cricket. I don't think she wants any verbal contact whatsoever."
"Perhaps not, but I would think that she would want the emotional support. Someone to hold her and make her feel better than she is now."
"How can I do that when she won't even LOOK at me?"
"She doesn't have to look at you. She'll know you're there, and whether or not she shows it now, she be appreciating it. She loves you."
"Sometimes I find myself wondering if she really does." Albus said in a quiet tone.
"I know she does. We talk enough for me to know that she loves you. Sometimes I find her rambling on and on about you. I wouldn't let this whole ordeal ruin your perspective on that."
"I'm not trying to. It just seems that this has taken us both by surprise...do you think she'll be ignoring me for very long?"
"Not if you TRY to be supportive. Not if you love her, and not if she loves you."
He stared yet again at Kate. She always seemed to surprise him. She reminded him so much of his dear Minerva, the way the wisdom and thought had always shown. And now that he came to, he wasn't surprised that Severus had taken her as his wife. She was indeed a good person, and indeed a good mentor when it came time.
"Thank you Kate. I rather needed this pep talk. Perhaps I should go back up and speak with her. I'll bring her food. If nothing else, it'll serve as a term of begging for forgiveness." he smiled. Both Kate and Severus also smiled. With that, he sat up from the table, and walked through the great hall to the kitchens.
Kate and Severus stayed there. They had their own personal business to discuss...
"Did you get the results?" Severus asked in a rather low tone.
"Yes. I asked Poppy for the results right after my classes were over."
"And?"
Kate bent in closer to Severus, not knowing whether to smile, or to act depressed. Both would be an ever so funny hint as to what the result actually was. She decided on a smile. She leaned in close to Severus and whispered a single word in his ear. "Positive."
Severus stared at her open mouthed for a second...after all, he was in complete shock. Instead of reacting as if he normally would however, he actually leaned close into her, and gave her a tight embrace.
"Severus." Kate said rather softly.
He let go of her, and stared at her with a wide smile. "Yes Kate?"
"Perhaps it would be better if we kept it to ourselves for a while. I don't think this would be the best time to let this out...especially with what's going on with Minerva."
"Yes my Kate. But that won't stop me from being the happiest man on earth."
"That's fine with me." she said, and leaned in closer to Severus. Severus, as if on cue, lifted her head to look up to him. He gently leaned into her, and kissed her softly. For a simple moment, they lay within one another, and all around them was forgotten, but the moment dared not last more than 3 or 4 seconds. From a distance, whistling could be heard, and it was rather obvious as to which house would dare do so...SLYTHERINS.
When Kate finally showed her face, she was beet red, and wasnt the least bit surprised that Severus was also was rather pink in the face.
"They would get detention on any other day. But today, I think I'm too happy to worry about it." Severus said with a smile.
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A/N: yes everyone, Professor Snape is going to have another child to take care of. And yes, he actually kissed someone in public! can you believe it...awwww, mean old severus snape is getting soft.
A/N: I think i've put a nice twist in this chapter...be prepared
Chapter eight: A Second Account
Albus shut the door behind him, and leaned back on it with a sigh. He half felt like he should return to the room, and speak with her. But the way she was responding to him showed that he was all but needed at the moment. Infact, these were her exact words..."I dont really need you".
He stared down the empty corridor, and took in a deep breath. He stepped away from the door, and took one last look at it before he started walking down the hall.
He soon found himself in the great hall, surrounded by many happy faces, and laughing children. His mood did not need this, not with the depression that had begun to surround his world. He couldn't help but let his mind think of how he had once been carefree like the students that lay before him. Their worst problem was how they were going to get rid of the acne that had taken refuge on their face...'ahh, how it must feel to be carefree' he thought with a sigh.
He walked towards his seat in the center of the staff table, and took his place. Food immediately appeared on his plate, although the need to eat had not truly passed through his mind at the time.
He looked next to him, and saw Minerva's empty seat. He felt a lump rise within his throat, but swallowed it down as much as he possibly could.
Severus, who sat just one seat over from Minerva looked at Albus intently. He had gotten time to think about what little Albus had told him earlier that day, and felt rather alarmed at even the presence of the headmaster. Often strong, the strongest person that he had met, was Albus Dumbledore, but it was obvious that strength had left him...whether it be physically, or mentally.
"How is everything headmaster? Is she alright?" Severus finally spoke up
Albus looked up at Severus. Quite honestly, he hadnt truly noticed the presence of the potions master, and found it a shock that he had said something.
"Well, she had taken refuge within her room, and apparently does not wish to speak to anyone."
"Why are you here instead of up there with her? I would think that she would want you to be there. I mean, you are after all her husband."
"She doesn't want to talk to me. She said it flat out, and she seems to be okay to be left alone. So I'm doing as she asks, and leaving her."
"Why does she want to be alone?"
"You know Minerva. If she's depressed enough, she just wants to wallow in her misery until she feels ready to talk. Unfortunately though, I would really like to talk to her right now, but she won't hear of it. She wasn't in that room for 30 minutes before she started screaming at me to get out."
"I AM sorry headmaster. I truly am. I wouldn't know what to do if something like that were to happen to my wife."
"If something like what were to happen to me?" a voice came from behind them. Both men turned around to find Kate Snape standing there, obviously trying to be part of the conversation.
"Oh, we were just discussing what they found out today at Minerva's doctor's appointment." Severus said, reaching out a hand to her. She took it, and he pulled her to Minerva's seat.
Albus stared at her for a moment or two, not able to ignore the pain that was throbbing within his chest. Severus didn't know the pain that was being inflicted just by letting Kate sit in Minerva's chair, but it was delivered at the worst possible time.
"So what is it that exactly happened, I mean there must have been some kind of warning." Kate asked, not noticing his mystified stare.
"Im sure you both know about how she hasn't been feeling too well. I've told you both about how she needed potions for the pain and what not lately. She and I both had been worrying over the possibility of a miscarriage for quite some time, but we were truly hoping that it was all in our heads. I guess if you think about it, we both knew, but didn't want to face the truth. Although now, we must face it, and as it seems Minerva and I alike are taking our own paths."
"What do you mean?" Kate asked quietly
"She's in her room right now, doing God knows what, refusing to speak with me. While I'm down here thinking about what to do"
"I'm so sorry. I don't think it's fair that you two have gone through so much, and this happens. I truly don't."
"Well, unfortunately, it's a part of life. We'll all have to get used to it."
"Are you still planning on going on your trip?" Severus asked offhand, trying to change the subject.
"I dont know. I dont know what sort of stage she'll be at by then. She certainly seems many things right now."
"What do you mean?"
"Angry. Sad. Depressed. Alone. Humiliated...to name a few. I could probably go on and on about how I perceive how she is."
"Are you sure that is what SHE'S been feeling, or is that what you could possibly be feeling?" Kate asked slowly
"What I feel, I really can't say. I feel most of those, but I have one thing that she seems to be lacking at the moment."
"And what is that?"
"Thankfulness"
"What do you mean THANKFULNESS? You just lost a child. How could you be thankful?" Severus nearly yelled out
"I mean, thankful for what I have. She seems to be hating everything right now, and I DO mean everything. She's acting as if she hates being alive."
"Oh come off it man. She just learned that she lost her third child. I wouldn't honestly be expecting her to be over it!"
"Nor am I. I only meant that she shouldn't be so hateful of everything. She's a grown woman, not a school girl."
"Albus." Kate said softly "I don't have much experience in the field of losing children, but I know enough. Just give her time. It hasnt even been a day, and you're already sounding as if you expect her to be completely over it. And I'm sure that you haven't gotten over it either...I know you tend to prefer the strong suit when it comes to emotions, but I'm sure you're feeling it too. Perhaps not as much as Minerva is, but you can't very well NOT be feeling it. If I were in her position, I would want my husband to be there to make me feel loved."
Albus stared at Kate a bit dumbstruck. She was one of the few staff members that had truly gotten to know him; the few that knew his personality better than nearly everyone else in the world. As for what she had just said, they couldn't have been more true, but he was placed between two choices. One, would be to act in control and like nothing was wrong, and two, to lose all control of himself and scream at the world of the unfairness that had taken him by surprise.
"You're probably right Kate. But Minerva won't even speak with me. She was threatening to turn me into a cricket. I don't think she wants any verbal contact whatsoever."
"Perhaps not, but I would think that she would want the emotional support. Someone to hold her and make her feel better than she is now."
"How can I do that when she won't even LOOK at me?"
"She doesn't have to look at you. She'll know you're there, and whether or not she shows it now, she be appreciating it. She loves you."
"Sometimes I find myself wondering if she really does." Albus said in a quiet tone.
"I know she does. We talk enough for me to know that she loves you. Sometimes I find her rambling on and on about you. I wouldn't let this whole ordeal ruin your perspective on that."
"I'm not trying to. It just seems that this has taken us both by surprise...do you think she'll be ignoring me for very long?"
"Not if you TRY to be supportive. Not if you love her, and not if she loves you."
He stared yet again at Kate. She always seemed to surprise him. She reminded him so much of his dear Minerva, the way the wisdom and thought had always shown. And now that he came to, he wasn't surprised that Severus had taken her as his wife. She was indeed a good person, and indeed a good mentor when it came time.
"Thank you Kate. I rather needed this pep talk. Perhaps I should go back up and speak with her. I'll bring her food. If nothing else, it'll serve as a term of begging for forgiveness." he smiled. Both Kate and Severus also smiled. With that, he sat up from the table, and walked through the great hall to the kitchens.
Kate and Severus stayed there. They had their own personal business to discuss...
"Did you get the results?" Severus asked in a rather low tone.
"Yes. I asked Poppy for the results right after my classes were over."
"And?"
Kate bent in closer to Severus, not knowing whether to smile, or to act depressed. Both would be an ever so funny hint as to what the result actually was. She decided on a smile. She leaned in close to Severus and whispered a single word in his ear. "Positive."
Severus stared at her open mouthed for a second...after all, he was in complete shock. Instead of reacting as if he normally would however, he actually leaned close into her, and gave her a tight embrace.
"Severus." Kate said rather softly.
He let go of her, and stared at her with a wide smile. "Yes Kate?"
"Perhaps it would be better if we kept it to ourselves for a while. I don't think this would be the best time to let this out...especially with what's going on with Minerva."
"Yes my Kate. But that won't stop me from being the happiest man on earth."
"That's fine with me." she said, and leaned in closer to Severus. Severus, as if on cue, lifted her head to look up to him. He gently leaned into her, and kissed her softly. For a simple moment, they lay within one another, and all around them was forgotten, but the moment dared not last more than 3 or 4 seconds. From a distance, whistling could be heard, and it was rather obvious as to which house would dare do so...SLYTHERINS.
When Kate finally showed her face, she was beet red, and wasnt the least bit surprised that Severus was also was rather pink in the face.
"They would get detention on any other day. But today, I think I'm too happy to worry about it." Severus said with a smile.
*********************************************
A/N: yes everyone, Professor Snape is going to have another child to take care of. And yes, he actually kissed someone in public! can you believe it...awwww, mean old severus snape is getting soft.