Chapter 2: Stars
Ginny could here the happy mumblings of suppertime as she skipped out of the woods outside her home. Behind The Burrow a few yards ahead of her sat three picnic tables. All covered in a brilliant tablecloth enchanted to look like the night sky. Her mum, her brothers and Harry were bringing out the food.
Ginny gazed upon all of these almost happy faces. They were almost happy because the whole Weasley family was back where they belonged for a week at least. In a week or two they would have to move to Grimmauld Place and Ginny's stomach churned as she remembered that dreadfully dark place. Shaking that horrid feeling away she let herself focus on Harry.
He was still skinny but not quite so. His shoulders were broader and there were way more muscles then before. He was slightly pale and Ginny decided that she and her brothers would have to make sure he got plenty of good healthy sun. The sun would both strengthen his heart and tan his hide; making him more delicious to look at but that wasn't the point.
Ginny watched his every movement as he joked with her brothers. She was so glad that she had hidden behind a tree before anyone had seen her. All the while she had been looking at Harry the thin lightening bolt scar on her forehead seemed to be calling out to her. Demanding her to look at it and wonder about its creator: He-who-must-not-be-named. She had tried with every ounce of her strength to not look at his scar but no matter how she tried to dissuade it she couldn't help it. Her eyes snapped to the scar and a shock flooded through her; freezing her very soul. Ginny shivered involuntarily. Her heart began to pound and sweat formed on her face. The scar was dark red; blood red and as she watched, it reminded her of everything that had happened when she was eleven:
Finding Tom's diary. Writing to Tom. The writing on the wall. Strangling roosters. Petrifying fellow classmates. A huge snake with beady eyes that only she could control. Harry as he struggled to save her.And all she could do was watch as these horrible things happened... She had absolutely no control.
These thoughts whirled around in Ginny's head, sickening her and disturbing her to no end. Her stomach twisted and Ginny squeezed her eyes shut, tight. Please, leave her alone. She would be good if only these terrible thoughts would stop torturing her.
"Please," Ginny sobbed burying her pale, frightened face into her hands, "please just stop." Ginny pushed the gruesome thoughts to the back of her head and rubbed her puffy eyes.
"Ginny, dear, dinner's ready," Mrs. Weasley called out to her and Ginny shuddered, "Ginny, where are you?"
Hastening to clean herself up Ginny yelled that she needed one more minute and she quickly cast a calming charm upon herself and left the woods for dinner. She had designed the calming charm herself so that she appeared calm and happy to any spectators. The special charm came in useful many times especially after she thought about Tom and her first year at Hogwarts.
Ginny sat down in her spot at the picnic table and took a chance to glance at her surroundings before joining the others in prayer. There was chicken and scalped potatoes, peas and beans, corn and pudding, pumpkin juice and pumpkin pie. Ginny licked her lips and resisted the urge to dip her finger in the pie and lick the insides of her finger like she had done when she had been a little child.
"Ginny, are you merely going to stare at the food or are you going to eat?" Mr. Weasley asked piling some scalped potatoes onto his plate Ginny shook herself out of her daze and glanced around at the table. Everybody else was eating. Ginny blushed after realizing she had skipped the prayer.
"I suppose I'll eat," she whispered bashfully spooning a small amount of peas onto her plate.
The twins, Ron and Harry spent most of the mealtime laughing. Ginny was bitter and wished that she could take a few seconds away from her depression to be naturally happy. even if it was nice to see Harry laugh. Oh, sure, she laughed and played along with them but she was never happy on the inside. She supposed that Harry was like that too; keeping all of his emotions bottled up so that he could cry on his pillow later. Well. Ginny wasn't to sure if he cried (she did) but she knew that he kept his emotions bottled up. That was obvious.
"Ginny? Don't you think that's funny?" Ron asked wiping tears from his eyes as he stared at her still laughing merrily. Ginny looked up from her plate and stared at the laughing faces that surrounded her, totally unaware as to what had just happened. Had the twins just told a joke?
"Yeah, oh, yeah, funny alright," Ginny forced herself to giggle and waited for her brother to turn away. Ron, being the dense bum that he is, did turn away along with the rest of her family. Everybody but Harry had gone back to either eating or joking around.
Harry stared at Ginny wondering why she had lied about not paying attention to the joke he had told. What was wrong? How could he find out?
Ginny pinned her eyes to her plate, her heart beating wildly against her chest, Harry knew she wasn't fine. Oh no, oh, no. She could feel him staring at her plate and she tried counting the peas on her plate. Her hands began to sweat and her throat ached.
Terrified she snapped her head up and her gaze fell into his emerald eyes. They were dark, like a gem and seemed to swirl on and on. She was aware of the fact that he was seeing every emotion that lived inside her and she was gratefully letting him see it. It would be so nice to have somebody to share her burdensome thoughts with. Even if that person had many burdensome thoughts of his own.
Harry looked away and blinked twice. Very suddenly the corn on his plate was so amusing that he wouldn't have traded it for the world. Ginny had appeared so happy and collected at first but when he looked closer, no scratch that, when he had gotten to look deep into her eyes he had seen through that cleverly created wall and to the deepest parts of her misery. Who would have thought that one of the very few people who had as many worries and fears as him was Ginny Weasley? Ginny Weasley who had so many stronger, older brothers that would die to save her; Ginny Weasley who still, according to Ron, slept with her favorite stuffed teddy-bear; Ginny Weasley who was the shyest person Harry had ever met.
Harry was overcome with shock. Ginny was so small, it was so strange to know that she had suffered almost as much as him. She hadn't suffered not quite as much as him but almost.
He quickly glanced at her. His heart dropped and bounced of the bottom of his stomach. She was ready to cry, he could see the crystal clear tears ready to pour down her rosy cheeks even though she was staring at her plate. Her white fingers gripped the edge of the table with the effort of not crying. Harry knew how hard it was not to cry for he had forced himself not to many, many times.
"Ginny? Is everything alright?" Mr. Weasley brushed a stray lock of fiery red hair behind his daughter's ear. Ginny took merely a second to contain herself before replying in a cheerful 'yes dad, of course'.
Harry returned to eating with a rather bigger box of respect for Ginny Weasley in his heart.
That night Ginny sat in her window sill arms wrapped around her knees as she stared out into the dark blueness of the never ending sky.
She stared at the stars. Counting them wishing she could be one. Wishing she could soar above the earth and not care about what was happening below her. She wished that she could dance and sing with other stars in the midst of the horror that enveloped the earth. She wished she could just ignore the deepening threat of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
What right had the stars to sit up in their dark blue bed and watch what happened below them without helping out in the slightest? What right had they to just watch her world go down?
What did they do up there anyways? Maybe they were laughing at her; laughing at her world; laughing at Harry. What right did stars have to laugh at her? They had absolutely no right! She hadn't done anything and she would beat every single one of those bright, shiny, smiling, dancing, singing specks into a bloody pulp if they ever even thought about laughing at Harry. Oh, yes she would!
She glared up at the stars loathing their happiness. For minutes she did this; just glared. But after awhile loneliness and long swelled within her. Why couldn't she be happy? Why couldn't she just forget everything around her for a few hours just so that she could sleep? Why couldn't she sleep?
Finally Ginny gave in to the tears that threatened her. They poured down her cheeks in quite bursts of pain. Exhaustedly Ginny lay her head down on her knees and wept.
Life is full of questions. Many questions are never answered but at the same time just as many are answered. Here's a tip: Being happy is a key part in life. BE happy as much as you can.
Ginny could here the happy mumblings of suppertime as she skipped out of the woods outside her home. Behind The Burrow a few yards ahead of her sat three picnic tables. All covered in a brilliant tablecloth enchanted to look like the night sky. Her mum, her brothers and Harry were bringing out the food.
Ginny gazed upon all of these almost happy faces. They were almost happy because the whole Weasley family was back where they belonged for a week at least. In a week or two they would have to move to Grimmauld Place and Ginny's stomach churned as she remembered that dreadfully dark place. Shaking that horrid feeling away she let herself focus on Harry.
He was still skinny but not quite so. His shoulders were broader and there were way more muscles then before. He was slightly pale and Ginny decided that she and her brothers would have to make sure he got plenty of good healthy sun. The sun would both strengthen his heart and tan his hide; making him more delicious to look at but that wasn't the point.
Ginny watched his every movement as he joked with her brothers. She was so glad that she had hidden behind a tree before anyone had seen her. All the while she had been looking at Harry the thin lightening bolt scar on her forehead seemed to be calling out to her. Demanding her to look at it and wonder about its creator: He-who-must-not-be-named. She had tried with every ounce of her strength to not look at his scar but no matter how she tried to dissuade it she couldn't help it. Her eyes snapped to the scar and a shock flooded through her; freezing her very soul. Ginny shivered involuntarily. Her heart began to pound and sweat formed on her face. The scar was dark red; blood red and as she watched, it reminded her of everything that had happened when she was eleven:
Finding Tom's diary. Writing to Tom. The writing on the wall. Strangling roosters. Petrifying fellow classmates. A huge snake with beady eyes that only she could control. Harry as he struggled to save her.And all she could do was watch as these horrible things happened... She had absolutely no control.
These thoughts whirled around in Ginny's head, sickening her and disturbing her to no end. Her stomach twisted and Ginny squeezed her eyes shut, tight. Please, leave her alone. She would be good if only these terrible thoughts would stop torturing her.
"Please," Ginny sobbed burying her pale, frightened face into her hands, "please just stop." Ginny pushed the gruesome thoughts to the back of her head and rubbed her puffy eyes.
"Ginny, dear, dinner's ready," Mrs. Weasley called out to her and Ginny shuddered, "Ginny, where are you?"
Hastening to clean herself up Ginny yelled that she needed one more minute and she quickly cast a calming charm upon herself and left the woods for dinner. She had designed the calming charm herself so that she appeared calm and happy to any spectators. The special charm came in useful many times especially after she thought about Tom and her first year at Hogwarts.
Ginny sat down in her spot at the picnic table and took a chance to glance at her surroundings before joining the others in prayer. There was chicken and scalped potatoes, peas and beans, corn and pudding, pumpkin juice and pumpkin pie. Ginny licked her lips and resisted the urge to dip her finger in the pie and lick the insides of her finger like she had done when she had been a little child.
"Ginny, are you merely going to stare at the food or are you going to eat?" Mr. Weasley asked piling some scalped potatoes onto his plate Ginny shook herself out of her daze and glanced around at the table. Everybody else was eating. Ginny blushed after realizing she had skipped the prayer.
"I suppose I'll eat," she whispered bashfully spooning a small amount of peas onto her plate.
The twins, Ron and Harry spent most of the mealtime laughing. Ginny was bitter and wished that she could take a few seconds away from her depression to be naturally happy. even if it was nice to see Harry laugh. Oh, sure, she laughed and played along with them but she was never happy on the inside. She supposed that Harry was like that too; keeping all of his emotions bottled up so that he could cry on his pillow later. Well. Ginny wasn't to sure if he cried (she did) but she knew that he kept his emotions bottled up. That was obvious.
"Ginny? Don't you think that's funny?" Ron asked wiping tears from his eyes as he stared at her still laughing merrily. Ginny looked up from her plate and stared at the laughing faces that surrounded her, totally unaware as to what had just happened. Had the twins just told a joke?
"Yeah, oh, yeah, funny alright," Ginny forced herself to giggle and waited for her brother to turn away. Ron, being the dense bum that he is, did turn away along with the rest of her family. Everybody but Harry had gone back to either eating or joking around.
Harry stared at Ginny wondering why she had lied about not paying attention to the joke he had told. What was wrong? How could he find out?
Ginny pinned her eyes to her plate, her heart beating wildly against her chest, Harry knew she wasn't fine. Oh no, oh, no. She could feel him staring at her plate and she tried counting the peas on her plate. Her hands began to sweat and her throat ached.
Terrified she snapped her head up and her gaze fell into his emerald eyes. They were dark, like a gem and seemed to swirl on and on. She was aware of the fact that he was seeing every emotion that lived inside her and she was gratefully letting him see it. It would be so nice to have somebody to share her burdensome thoughts with. Even if that person had many burdensome thoughts of his own.
Harry looked away and blinked twice. Very suddenly the corn on his plate was so amusing that he wouldn't have traded it for the world. Ginny had appeared so happy and collected at first but when he looked closer, no scratch that, when he had gotten to look deep into her eyes he had seen through that cleverly created wall and to the deepest parts of her misery. Who would have thought that one of the very few people who had as many worries and fears as him was Ginny Weasley? Ginny Weasley who had so many stronger, older brothers that would die to save her; Ginny Weasley who still, according to Ron, slept with her favorite stuffed teddy-bear; Ginny Weasley who was the shyest person Harry had ever met.
Harry was overcome with shock. Ginny was so small, it was so strange to know that she had suffered almost as much as him. She hadn't suffered not quite as much as him but almost.
He quickly glanced at her. His heart dropped and bounced of the bottom of his stomach. She was ready to cry, he could see the crystal clear tears ready to pour down her rosy cheeks even though she was staring at her plate. Her white fingers gripped the edge of the table with the effort of not crying. Harry knew how hard it was not to cry for he had forced himself not to many, many times.
"Ginny? Is everything alright?" Mr. Weasley brushed a stray lock of fiery red hair behind his daughter's ear. Ginny took merely a second to contain herself before replying in a cheerful 'yes dad, of course'.
Harry returned to eating with a rather bigger box of respect for Ginny Weasley in his heart.
That night Ginny sat in her window sill arms wrapped around her knees as she stared out into the dark blueness of the never ending sky.
She stared at the stars. Counting them wishing she could be one. Wishing she could soar above the earth and not care about what was happening below her. She wished that she could dance and sing with other stars in the midst of the horror that enveloped the earth. She wished she could just ignore the deepening threat of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
What right had the stars to sit up in their dark blue bed and watch what happened below them without helping out in the slightest? What right had they to just watch her world go down?
What did they do up there anyways? Maybe they were laughing at her; laughing at her world; laughing at Harry. What right did stars have to laugh at her? They had absolutely no right! She hadn't done anything and she would beat every single one of those bright, shiny, smiling, dancing, singing specks into a bloody pulp if they ever even thought about laughing at Harry. Oh, yes she would!
She glared up at the stars loathing their happiness. For minutes she did this; just glared. But after awhile loneliness and long swelled within her. Why couldn't she be happy? Why couldn't she just forget everything around her for a few hours just so that she could sleep? Why couldn't she sleep?
Finally Ginny gave in to the tears that threatened her. They poured down her cheeks in quite bursts of pain. Exhaustedly Ginny lay her head down on her knees and wept.
Life is full of questions. Many questions are never answered but at the same time just as many are answered. Here's a tip: Being happy is a key part in life. BE happy as much as you can.