ACT 4 SCENE 2
Yahoooo! Almost done, chicas, this one's a bit short, lo siento mucho. Enjoy!
(A/N: My abbreviations for Act 1 Scene 1 etc. are going to be A1S1 etc. Just sos ya knows.)
***
[Quince is sitting by himself in a rocking chair beside a roaring fire, only not.]
QUINCE: Don't criticize! It's my fire! Not yours!
[Shut up. I'm the authoress, and I can criticize whomever I want.]
QUINCE: [grumbles incoherently]
[Snout, Flute and Starveling]
SNOUT: [dressed in Ghetto clothes; baggy pants, varsity shirt, sideways hat, chains etc.] Yo yo yo mah homey G! What's up in da hood?
QUINCE: Shut up. Didja find Ass Head - uh - Bottom?
FLUTE: No. I think he's hiding from us.
STARVELING: But he has a nice voice . . .
[all stare at Starveling]
QUINCE: Ooookay. So. He's never going to show up, so who's going to be Pyramus?
FLUTE: Not I.
STARVELING: Not I.
QUINCE: Not I.
SNOUT: Oh! I know this! And the little red hen said, "I will bake the bread!"
[all stare at Snout]
SNOUT: I love that story!
[Bottom comes running in, singing]
BOTTOM: Aaaaaaand Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm baaaaaaaack!
[Quince and company cover ears and wince, glass breaks]
QUINCE: [shouting] I thought you said he had a good voice!
STARVELING: [shouting] I lied! I lied! Forgive me, God!
FLUTE: [screaming] What?! What are we talking about?!
BOTTOM: You guys suck.
QUINCE: [breathing heavily] Thank God he stopped.
BOTTOM: You still suck. Aren't you supposed to be glad to see me?
FLUTE: Oh. Yeah. BOTTOM!
SNOUT: BOTTOM!
STARVELING: BOTTOM!
QUINCE: BOTTOM!
FLUTE: BOTTOM!
SNOUT: BOTTOM!
STARVELING: BOTTOM!
QUINCE: BOTTOM!
FLUTE: BOTTOM!
BOTTOM: SHUT UP ALREADY!
FLUTE: You wanted an entrance, loser.
BOTTOM: huh. Guess what happened to me?
QUINCE: [sighing heavily] What now?
BOTTOM: I got molested by a fairy!
[No one reacts for a minute]
STARVELING: Eeew.
SNOUT: That's disgusting.
QUINCE: Thanks for sharing. Now I'm going to be traumatized until I'm 64.
FLUTE: Wait. Was it a female fairy - or a male fairy?
[No one reacts for a minute]
STARVELING: Eeew!
SNOUT: That's even more disgusting.
QUINCE: Scarred for life! Agh!
BOTTOM: It was a female fairy you morons!
FLUTE: ohhh. That . . . doesn't make sense.
BOTTOM: Why are we even having this conversation?
QUINCE: You started it.
SNOUT: Okay, lets practice our play, savvy?
ALL: Yes!
QUINCE: Finally, a good idea.
{eNd}
Sorry, short act. Also, about the whole 'molested' thing? My friend and I were reading ahead together, and while everyone else was on A1S1, we were like, A3S1. Then my friend was like, "Doesn't Titania molest?" Which brought a really loud, "EW!" everyone stared at us. Heh. Last chappie SOON!
Yahoooo! Almost done, chicas, this one's a bit short, lo siento mucho. Enjoy!
(A/N: My abbreviations for Act 1 Scene 1 etc. are going to be A1S1 etc. Just sos ya knows.)
***
[Quince is sitting by himself in a rocking chair beside a roaring fire, only not.]
QUINCE: Don't criticize! It's my fire! Not yours!
[Shut up. I'm the authoress, and I can criticize whomever I want.]
QUINCE: [grumbles incoherently]
[Snout, Flute and Starveling]
SNOUT: [dressed in Ghetto clothes; baggy pants, varsity shirt, sideways hat, chains etc.] Yo yo yo mah homey G! What's up in da hood?
QUINCE: Shut up. Didja find Ass Head - uh - Bottom?
FLUTE: No. I think he's hiding from us.
STARVELING: But he has a nice voice . . .
[all stare at Starveling]
QUINCE: Ooookay. So. He's never going to show up, so who's going to be Pyramus?
FLUTE: Not I.
STARVELING: Not I.
QUINCE: Not I.
SNOUT: Oh! I know this! And the little red hen said, "I will bake the bread!"
[all stare at Snout]
SNOUT: I love that story!
[Bottom comes running in, singing]
BOTTOM: Aaaaaaand Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm baaaaaaaack!
[Quince and company cover ears and wince, glass breaks]
QUINCE: [shouting] I thought you said he had a good voice!
STARVELING: [shouting] I lied! I lied! Forgive me, God!
FLUTE: [screaming] What?! What are we talking about?!
BOTTOM: You guys suck.
QUINCE: [breathing heavily] Thank God he stopped.
BOTTOM: You still suck. Aren't you supposed to be glad to see me?
FLUTE: Oh. Yeah. BOTTOM!
SNOUT: BOTTOM!
STARVELING: BOTTOM!
QUINCE: BOTTOM!
FLUTE: BOTTOM!
SNOUT: BOTTOM!
STARVELING: BOTTOM!
QUINCE: BOTTOM!
FLUTE: BOTTOM!
BOTTOM: SHUT UP ALREADY!
FLUTE: You wanted an entrance, loser.
BOTTOM: huh. Guess what happened to me?
QUINCE: [sighing heavily] What now?
BOTTOM: I got molested by a fairy!
[No one reacts for a minute]
STARVELING: Eeew.
SNOUT: That's disgusting.
QUINCE: Thanks for sharing. Now I'm going to be traumatized until I'm 64.
FLUTE: Wait. Was it a female fairy - or a male fairy?
[No one reacts for a minute]
STARVELING: Eeew!
SNOUT: That's even more disgusting.
QUINCE: Scarred for life! Agh!
BOTTOM: It was a female fairy you morons!
FLUTE: ohhh. That . . . doesn't make sense.
BOTTOM: Why are we even having this conversation?
QUINCE: You started it.
SNOUT: Okay, lets practice our play, savvy?
ALL: Yes!
QUINCE: Finally, a good idea.
{eNd}
Sorry, short act. Also, about the whole 'molested' thing? My friend and I were reading ahead together, and while everyone else was on A1S1, we were like, A3S1. Then my friend was like, "Doesn't Titania molest?" Which brought a really loud, "EW!" everyone stared at us. Heh. Last chappie SOON!