Maybe (Version 2.0)

My mirror is still broken, but that's okay. I couldn't stand looking in it anyway. Every time I look, I see that same girl, always staring back at me. Call me weak, but it hurt too much. I couldn't take it anymore…

Sometimes I manage to escape this harsh reality. For just a small moment, I can forget my problems for a while and stay in my small bit of heaven, where there's just me. Where I can be free of myself and live my dream, where everything is perfect and blissful. No responsibilities, no pressure, no Saint Tail. No you. Just me. For that little bit of time, I only remember myself, Meimi. It's nice to be able to find myself…

But, like all good things, dreams don't last forever, do they? When I think that I've finally found myself, know who I really am, it slips through my fingers like water, and I find myself left alone and confused…just like always.

So many girls squeal and giggle about how much they would love to be Saint Tail, of how envious they are of her. "Oooh I wish I could be just like Saint Tail!"

Idiots, I want to scream. All anyone ever sees is the glamour, the fame, the success. But it's so hard to keep it up. Do you know how many times I've really, seriously considered just giving up? It would be so much easier to just forget everything and be a normal girl.

But the grass is always greener on the other side.

Duty. Love. Two words I hate, and yet I'm trapped between them. Two personalities struggle to take over my being: the one you love, and the one I struggle to keep. But what can I do? I've dug too deep and I can't get out. I'm reaching out my hand to you, but will you take it?

Saint Tail is your world, and you are mine. What do I have to do to talk to you? Am I really so imperfect to you, that you can't stand me? Why do we always have to argue? Why do you always have to be thinking about her? Why does she have to be so perfect? Why does she have to be me?

All these questions, and no one to answer them. Only you can do that, and you won't, will you? Not for me…Never for me.

Sometimes I'll wake up and find my pillow wet, and it's funny, because I'll never remember crying. My parents are worried about me…I've been quiet lately. But I only need to go downstairs and smile brightly at them, maybe tell a funny story, and all will be well. Even my parents will be fooled by my sunny exterior.

I'm getting too good at this game.

I know it's silly, but I always watch out of the corner of my eye. I'm always watching you, you just never notice. Sometimes I'll glance at you, hoping to catch you watching me, to find some sign that you really, by some sudden chance, see me.

Sometimes I imagine we make eye contact, and you quickly turn your head away, blushing, only to glance up at me again.

Other times I'll finally come over to you, shake your beautiful head and scream to you, "I'm Saint Tail! Me! I'm the one you love!" And you'll realize that it's true. I am the one you love. I am your Saint Tail.

But isn't it nice to dream?

I always get so hopeful. Stupid, isn't it? How many times have I told myself to get over you? That you're not worth it? Someone told me once. "Any man who makes you cry isn't worth anything." And how many tears have I cried over you? Too many.

But you're worth it.

I can never give up on you. God knows I've tried hard to, but no matter how much my head berates me to, no matter how much it hurts me; my heart won't have any of it.

But I can only take so much.

When I think about it, Saint Tail isn't real, is she? No, she never was. If you were to, by some chance, catch her, who would you find? Just me. Plain old Meimi Haneoka.

It's sad, isn't it? I'm competing with someone who's not real. Who's actually me.

But if I hang in there, maybe someday, when you turn around, it'll be me standing there behind you. It'll be me you're listening to. It'll just be me.

And if I keep on smiling, maybe someday, it'll be me you love.

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*Waves* Hello! It's me again. This is a revised version. I wasn't too satisfied with my first one. It wasn't written to well. I'm sure some of you noticed that? Well, it is better than this version in one way: longer.

Note to self: WRITE LONGER CHAPTERS.

Must remember that…

Actually, to be honest, I'm not too happy with this version (especially the ending). But I do like it better than the first one…

And I'm really really sorry that it's so short. I'm actually not used to writing long chapters. Hope you'll forgive me…

I'm working on the rest of the story now.

Please review!!!

~ Oinkii San