Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did I would be rolling in dough, laughing
at all the little people I crushed on my way up. Muwhahahaha! *Remembers
it's not all hers and sits down.*
~*~*~
I called a meeting to see what I should write for this next chapter. I got nothing. Though I did succeed in making three of the HP characters go nuts.
*Watches as Seamus, Neville, and Dean are carted off to St. Mungo's. Watches as a body bag in the shape of Hermione is carted to the morgue*
A/N: Flame me I don't honestly care.
~*~
Megan13: Lol, She found this story. I never thought she would. *Feels embarrassed* She thought it was good.
GildedCage: I HATE CHO ABOUT AS MUCH AS I HATE HERMIONE!!! Ginny isn't one my favorites either. She's just a big Mary-Sue now. J.K. got rid of all her flaws and she's taking the spot light off the more important characters. Trelawny just got on my nerves.
~*~
RECAP ME BABY!!!
(Last time on 'All My Potter' *Hears intro to 'All My Children'* Gawd I hate that song.)
"Hermione, I have just realized my love for you burns like the intensity of a thousand white hot suns!"
"Oh Harry, you realized that I am your one and only love!"
"Yes I have," Harry jumps off stage and grabs Hermione sweeps her off her feet and heads for the doors. Hermione sticks her tongue out at Draco who is thunder struck.
And at the exact same moment I said thunder struck he gets hit by lightning.
/-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/- /-/-/ /-/- /-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/
Hermione wakes up. She looks around her. There are bottles of unfinished Butterbeer and papers for rolling pot and Ron is next to her with a Harry mask covering the bottom of his face.
"Crap, just a dream. How am I going to get out of here without letting that moron Neville catch a glimpse of my perfect ass," *Everyone looks at her ass and is appalled by the amount of hair on it* Hermione stops her self pitying and listens only to hear grunting.
?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/
The grunting continues and so does the squeaking of the old bed.
"Almost there just a little more," Harry's voice is heard from behind his curtain.
"Yeah, just like that only harder!" Draco's voice is heard from the same bed and the squeaking gets louder.
"YES! YES ALMOST!!!" Hermione can't take it anymore she finds a pair of boxers that smell of piss and put them on, she already had a bra on, but without the toilet paper it sagged and didn't fit right.
"Just a little harder," She wrenches the curtains open and there on the bed are Harry and Draco trying to get Harry's wand which is stuck in between the material of the curtain and the wood skeleton holding the canopy up. (The wood skeleton is not really a skeleton so don't ask me if it is)
The Author: Some people. *Rolls eyes*
"Arg!" Hermione stomps off pissed because if she can't have Harry, seeing him have hot boy on boy sex is the next best thing.
..::Breakfast::..
Draco is sitting with his lackeys and Harry is sitting next to Ron defending himself from Hermione's groping.
"Ouch! You didn't have to stab me!" Hermione pulls back her hand to see blood coming out like a fountain. *Author and other Hermione haters snigger*
"Well, stop feeling me up!" Harry wipes the blood off his fork and proceeds to eat his scrabbled eggs.
*In a singsong voice* "Harry, it's time to go to class!" Draco comes up in all his Draco hotness.
*In a singsong voice* "Coming dearest!" They hook arms and skip off to potions.
//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//-- //--//--//--//--//--//--//
The Author: *Visibly retches at the thought of Harry skipping*
Harry: *Sobs* Why does everyone hate me?
The Author: Jeeze, all I did was think, you stupid cry baby.
Harry: *Cries louder*
The Author: *Rolls her eyes*
//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//-- //--//--//--//--//--//--//
"Oh, Giiinnnyyy!" Hermione seeing my clear dislike for singsong voices uses one to call Ginny.
"What is it?" Ginny looked over to Hermione from her seat, a piece of bread hanging from her open mouth.
"You like my cuddly baby boo Harry don't you?"
"I use to, but now I'm going for Seamus. If I could only get rid of Dean!" Ginny is trying to look like someone who has more than one brain cell, but it isn't working.
"If I get rid of Dean, would you help me get Harry?" Ginny is now trying to look like she's thinking and still failing miserably.
"Yeah! Sure," Hermione runs over to Dean, who is presently on Seamus's lap, picks him up and chunks him off the Gryffindor Tower.
"He's gone now come on!" Hermione brings Ginny to her lair. First Hermione pulls back a statue of Merrit the Moron and the wall in front disappears reveling two poles. The theme of Batman starts playing in the background.
As they hit the ground the two are now seen in costumes. Ginny is the Cat in The Hat and Hermione is The Count from Sesame Street. *Complete with monocle*
"What's with our clothes?"
"Merrit the Moron built this place. He likes to be different. "Special" different" Hermione pulls her cape out her ass. *If I had my say it would have been a pineapple*
"So exactly how are we going to do this?"
(00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00)
We fade to the guys who are passionately kissing in the cupboard where Snape keeps his potion ingredients.
"Weren't we supposed to be ~pretending~ to like each other?" Harry gasped as he unlocked himself from Draco's demanding kiss?
"Yes, but like every other fanfic in the world our close proximity causes us to suddenly fall for each other."
"I can deal with that." Harry is attacked by Draco's mouth again, and Harry isn't complaining.
Harry once again stops Draco's assault. "You know My Aunt and Uncle used to lock me in a cupboard, and this place reminds me of it," Harry starts to pout and Draco rolls his eyes but still picks Harry up and puts him on Snape's desk where they proceed with the slashy goodness.
"Ahem?" Snape gets up from his chair and taps Draco on the shoulder he doesn't seem to notice and the gets on top of Harry to kiss him. Snape sits back down and takes some popcorn that had fell out of Harry's pants.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
The Author: Snapie Pooh you know that popcorn is four days old right? Well by my standards its 19 days old, but you get the idea.
Snape: Stop calling me that. And I don't care my taste buds died when I was five.
The Author: That's sad. (
Snape: So is your unhealthy fascination with slash.
The Author: Shut up! *Draco walks by and I have visions of him and Harry having wild hot monkey sex*
Snape: ahem?
The Author: Stupid mind reading git.
DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO DO THE BOLD LETTER THING. OR THE UNDERLINE THING? PLEASE TELL ME.
~*~*~
I called a meeting to see what I should write for this next chapter. I got nothing. Though I did succeed in making three of the HP characters go nuts.
*Watches as Seamus, Neville, and Dean are carted off to St. Mungo's. Watches as a body bag in the shape of Hermione is carted to the morgue*
A/N: Flame me I don't honestly care.
~*~
Megan13: Lol, She found this story. I never thought she would. *Feels embarrassed* She thought it was good.
GildedCage: I HATE CHO ABOUT AS MUCH AS I HATE HERMIONE!!! Ginny isn't one my favorites either. She's just a big Mary-Sue now. J.K. got rid of all her flaws and she's taking the spot light off the more important characters. Trelawny just got on my nerves.
~*~
RECAP ME BABY!!!
(Last time on 'All My Potter' *Hears intro to 'All My Children'* Gawd I hate that song.)
"Hermione, I have just realized my love for you burns like the intensity of a thousand white hot suns!"
"Oh Harry, you realized that I am your one and only love!"
"Yes I have," Harry jumps off stage and grabs Hermione sweeps her off her feet and heads for the doors. Hermione sticks her tongue out at Draco who is thunder struck.
And at the exact same moment I said thunder struck he gets hit by lightning.
/-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/- /-/-/ /-/- /-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/ /-/-/-/-/-/-/
Hermione wakes up. She looks around her. There are bottles of unfinished Butterbeer and papers for rolling pot and Ron is next to her with a Harry mask covering the bottom of his face.
"Crap, just a dream. How am I going to get out of here without letting that moron Neville catch a glimpse of my perfect ass," *Everyone looks at her ass and is appalled by the amount of hair on it* Hermione stops her self pitying and listens only to hear grunting.
?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/ ?_? /-/
The grunting continues and so does the squeaking of the old bed.
"Almost there just a little more," Harry's voice is heard from behind his curtain.
"Yeah, just like that only harder!" Draco's voice is heard from the same bed and the squeaking gets louder.
"YES! YES ALMOST!!!" Hermione can't take it anymore she finds a pair of boxers that smell of piss and put them on, she already had a bra on, but without the toilet paper it sagged and didn't fit right.
"Just a little harder," She wrenches the curtains open and there on the bed are Harry and Draco trying to get Harry's wand which is stuck in between the material of the curtain and the wood skeleton holding the canopy up. (The wood skeleton is not really a skeleton so don't ask me if it is)
The Author: Some people. *Rolls eyes*
"Arg!" Hermione stomps off pissed because if she can't have Harry, seeing him have hot boy on boy sex is the next best thing.
..::Breakfast::..
Draco is sitting with his lackeys and Harry is sitting next to Ron defending himself from Hermione's groping.
"Ouch! You didn't have to stab me!" Hermione pulls back her hand to see blood coming out like a fountain. *Author and other Hermione haters snigger*
"Well, stop feeling me up!" Harry wipes the blood off his fork and proceeds to eat his scrabbled eggs.
*In a singsong voice* "Harry, it's time to go to class!" Draco comes up in all his Draco hotness.
*In a singsong voice* "Coming dearest!" They hook arms and skip off to potions.
//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//-- //--//--//--//--//--//--//
The Author: *Visibly retches at the thought of Harry skipping*
Harry: *Sobs* Why does everyone hate me?
The Author: Jeeze, all I did was think, you stupid cry baby.
Harry: *Cries louder*
The Author: *Rolls her eyes*
//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//-- //--//--//--//--//--//--//
"Oh, Giiinnnyyy!" Hermione seeing my clear dislike for singsong voices uses one to call Ginny.
"What is it?" Ginny looked over to Hermione from her seat, a piece of bread hanging from her open mouth.
"You like my cuddly baby boo Harry don't you?"
"I use to, but now I'm going for Seamus. If I could only get rid of Dean!" Ginny is trying to look like someone who has more than one brain cell, but it isn't working.
"If I get rid of Dean, would you help me get Harry?" Ginny is now trying to look like she's thinking and still failing miserably.
"Yeah! Sure," Hermione runs over to Dean, who is presently on Seamus's lap, picks him up and chunks him off the Gryffindor Tower.
"He's gone now come on!" Hermione brings Ginny to her lair. First Hermione pulls back a statue of Merrit the Moron and the wall in front disappears reveling two poles. The theme of Batman starts playing in the background.
As they hit the ground the two are now seen in costumes. Ginny is the Cat in The Hat and Hermione is The Count from Sesame Street. *Complete with monocle*
"What's with our clothes?"
"Merrit the Moron built this place. He likes to be different. "Special" different" Hermione pulls her cape out her ass. *If I had my say it would have been a pineapple*
"So exactly how are we going to do this?"
(00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00) (00)
We fade to the guys who are passionately kissing in the cupboard where Snape keeps his potion ingredients.
"Weren't we supposed to be ~pretending~ to like each other?" Harry gasped as he unlocked himself from Draco's demanding kiss?
"Yes, but like every other fanfic in the world our close proximity causes us to suddenly fall for each other."
"I can deal with that." Harry is attacked by Draco's mouth again, and Harry isn't complaining.
Harry once again stops Draco's assault. "You know My Aunt and Uncle used to lock me in a cupboard, and this place reminds me of it," Harry starts to pout and Draco rolls his eyes but still picks Harry up and puts him on Snape's desk where they proceed with the slashy goodness.
"Ahem?" Snape gets up from his chair and taps Draco on the shoulder he doesn't seem to notice and the gets on top of Harry to kiss him. Snape sits back down and takes some popcorn that had fell out of Harry's pants.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
The Author: Snapie Pooh you know that popcorn is four days old right? Well by my standards its 19 days old, but you get the idea.
Snape: Stop calling me that. And I don't care my taste buds died when I was five.
The Author: That's sad. (
Snape: So is your unhealthy fascination with slash.
The Author: Shut up! *Draco walks by and I have visions of him and Harry having wild hot monkey sex*
Snape: ahem?
The Author: Stupid mind reading git.
DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO DO THE BOLD LETTER THING. OR THE UNDERLINE THING? PLEASE TELL ME.